At my wits' end... Really want to believe that there's God, but facts are overwhelming against.

[LostSoulz12]

Hello everyone. I'm an Atheist who have been recently going to church, perhaps in a desperate attempt to seek resolution and help for my terrible depression and anxiety. I had always have conflicts within myself and others, i didn't quite fit in. Even though it didn't seem logical, i was so depressed that i was willing to try anything to stop my misery. I'm 20, always the awkward guy, never had a girlfriend. I always fear offending people and getting killed, poisoned and harmed in numerous ways. It's very unsettling for me and therapies honestly didn't help me very much.

Why do would God be awesome?

Firstly, knowing that there's a God out there looking out for you and putting your life on his hands reassures you much more than you could think. For someone with severe paranoia and anxiety like me it really helps. You would think that your existence is part of a greater purpose and that your life is destined, worrying about it will not change things.

After going to Church for the past month, I'm honestly astonished by how much faith people have in their God. It's mind-blowing how they could believe with such devotion. The people there are really friendly, despite me being an depressed anxious guy, being the guy always hated in school, work etc. It was one of the first times i felt welcomed. The people there were very warm and welcoming to be despite me saying that me saying that I'm an atheist, and they told me they would look out and pray for me. I really like the community there, tried really hard for the past few weeks to accept Jesus but it was impossible for such a skeptical person like me to accept him. I mean, why would he put me, and others in this world to suffer in agony, only to find him and be saved then? Regardless, even though I didn't really talk much to people there, i still got invited to their gatherings and events. I felt accepted(somewhat?).

However, my anxiety is getting worse, i keep fearing for my life every time i had an argument with anyone, worrying that they would come after me and do harm towards me. It's terrible. I feel so suicidal...What should i do...??? Accepting that God don't exist has made my depression far worse. It's like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. How do you people stay happy...? I'm having an existential crisis being the worthless person I'm. I don't know how to continue living... Virgin, an idiot and 5'5. I really shouldn't exist at all. I need some advice on what to do... Sorry for the long post... Thanks for reading, happy holidays!

 

[AvgJoe]

Hello everyone. I'm an Atheist who have been recently going to church, perhaps in a desperate attempt to seek resolution and help for my terrible depression and anxiety. I had always have conflicts within myself and others, i didn't quite fit in. Even though it didn't seem logical, i was so depressed that i was willing to try anything to stop my misery. I'm 20, always the awkward guy, never had a girlfriend. I always fear offending people and getting killed, poisoned and harmed in numerous ways. It's very unsettling for me and therapies honestly didn't help me very much.

Why do would God be awesome?

Firstly, knowing that there's a God out there looking out for you and putting your life on his hands reassures you much more than you could think. For someone with severe paranoia and anxiety like me it really helps. You would think that your existence is part of a greater purpose and that your life is destined, worrying about it will not change things.

After going to Church for the past month, I'm honestly astonished by how much faith people have in their God. It's mind-blowing how they could believe with such devotion. The people there are really friendly, despite me being an depressed anxious guy, being the guy always hated in school, work etc. It was one of the first times i felt welcomed. The people there were very warm and welcoming to be despite me saying that me saying that I'm an atheist, and they told me they would look out and pray for me. I really like the community there, tried really hard for the past few weeks to accept Jesus but it was impossible for such a skeptical person like me to accept him. I mean, why would he put me, and others in this world to suffer in agony, only to find him and be saved then? Regardless, even though I didn't really talk much to people there, i still got invited to their gatherings and events. I felt accepted(somewhat?).

However, my anxiety is getting worse, i keep fearing for my life every time i had an argument with anyone, worrying that they would come after me and do harm towards me. It's terrible. I feel so suicidal...What should i do...??? Accepting that God don't exist has made my depression far worse. It's like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. How do you people stay happy...? I'm having an existential crisis being the worthless person I'm. I don't know how to continue living... Virgin, an idiot and 5'5. I really shouldn't exist at all. I need some advice on what to do... Sorry for the long post... Thanks for reading, happy holidays!

Welcome to CF, I pray that you will find much help here. I am saddened that you are going through such troubles, but hope that your brokenness leads your to belief in God and in Jesus as your Savior. Unfortunately, the logical path of atheism leads to these feelings that life is empty and worthless.

Why does atheism even exist? Why doesn’t God simply reveal Himself to people, proving that He exists? Surely if God would just appear, the thinking goes, everyone would believe in Him! The problem here is that it is not God’s desire to just convince people that He exists. It is God’s desire for people to believe in Him by faith (2 Peter 3:9) and accept by faith His gift of salvation (John 3:16). God clearly demonstrated His existence many times in the Old Testament (Genesis 6-9; Exodus 14:21-22; 1 Kings 18:19-31). Did the people believe that God exists? Yes. Did they turn from their evil ways and obey God? No. If a person is not willing to accept God’s existence by faith, then he/she is definitely not ready to accept Jesus Christ as Savior by faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). God’s desire is for people to become Christians, not just theists (those who believe God exists).

The Bible tells us that God’s existence must be accepted by faith. Hebrews 11:6 declares, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” The Bible reminds us that we are blessed when we believe and trust in God by faith: “Then Jesus told him, ‘Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed’” (John 20:29).

The existence of God must be accepted by faith, but this does not mean belief in God is illogical. There are many good arguments for the existence of God. The Bible teaches that God’s existence is clearly seen in the universe (Psalm 19:1-4), in nature (Romans 1:18-22), and in our own hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11). With all that said, the existence of God cannot be proven; it must be accepted by faith.

At the same time, it takes just as much faith to believe in atheism. To make the absolute statement “God does not exist” is to make a claim of knowing absolutely everything there is to know about everything and of having been everywhere in the universe and having witnessed everything there is to be seen. Of course, no atheist would make these claims. However, that is essentially what they are claiming when they state that God absolutely does not exist. Atheists cannot prove that God does not, for example, live in the center of the sun, or beneath the clouds of Jupiter, or in some distant nebula. Since those places are beyond our capacity to observe, it cannot be proven that God does not exist. It takes just as much faith to be an atheist as it does to be a theist.

Atheism cannot be proven, and God’s existence must be accepted by faith. Obviously, Christians believe strongly that God exists, and admit that God’s existence is a matter of faith. At the same time, we reject the idea that belief in God is illogical. We believe that God’s existence can be clearly seen, keenly sensed, and proven to be philosophically and scientifically necessary. “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world” (Psalm 19:1-4).

And to go a bit further, the Bible is Christianity's holy book, it is the Word of God. If the Bible is true, then Christianity is true and the God described within it's pages, is Who He says He is and can be trusted. Have you looked into the validity of Scripture (the Bible)?

There are many testaments to the validity of the Scriptures. The unity of the Scriptures is one such testament. The Bible was written over a period of 1,600 years, by 40 God chosen men, who lived on multiple continents and they all wrote about the same thing, man's sin and his need for a savior, Jesus Christ. There were no mail delivery trucks, no drop ship planes, no Federal Express, no UPS and no email, yet when all of the writings were put together they present one unified message. The Bible is truly the Word of God.

Following are many other areas that attest to the validity of the Scriptures. I hope you will explore them and see for yourself.

An excellent ebook on the subject: http://www.apologeticspress.org/pdfs/e-books_pdf/idobi.pdf

Proof of Textual Evidence
Old Testament: The Dead Sea Scrolls and Biblical Integrity
New Testament: Manuscript evidence for superior New Testament reliability | CARM Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry
More on the Bible: The Bible | CARM Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry

Proof of People Living at the Time of Christ
Non biblical accounts of New Testament events and/or people | CARM Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry
The writings of Josephus mention many biblical people and places | CARM Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry

Proof of Archaeology
Archaeology and the Bible • ChristianAnswers.Net
Biblical Archeology
Archaeological evidence verifying biblical cities | CARM Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry

Proof of Science
Statements Consistent With Paleontology, Astronomy, Meteorology, Biology, Anthropology, Hydrology & Geology, that were made 1,000s of years before science discovered them.
Science and the Bible
Scientific Accuracies of the Bible | CARM Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry
Eternal Productions - 101 Scientific Facts and Foreknowledge

Proof of Prophecy (Messanic & dealing with nations)
Messianic Prophecies
Fulfilled Bible Prophecy Dealing With Nations
Prophecy, the Bible and Jesus | CARM Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry
http://shoreshdavidbrandon.org/pdf/I-Have-A-Friend-Whose-Jewish.pdf (pages 11 & 12 - awesome eBook)
How Do You Know The Bible Is True?

If the Bible is true, then Christianity is true and the God described within it's pages, is Who He says He is and can be trusted.

 

[Goatee]

Look, God is obviously calling you to Him. Embrace this time. Continue in your journey in the love of God.

Don't be afraid! Offer up your fears to God. Offer up your anxiety to God. God will not let you suffer more than what you can take.

Virgin is great. Pure for God! Wish i was! 5'5" is great too. Why worry about being really tall! You are perfect as you are. Individual. Gods creation. Why would you want to change what God has made? You are no idiot.

You are seeking God. You are blessed. God wants 'you' in His family.

You have started the journey. Ok it won't be easy but God is with you. We are here for you my friend.

God Bless you

 

[Ken Behrens]

I've known people who were ready to kill themselves, and just, kind of as a last resort, called out the the air "God, if you're real, show me". These have made some of the best Christians, and the most loving people. If you are really as uncertain as that post sounds, you have nothing to lose by trying this.

 

[TurtleAnne]

I think one of the major troubles of many present day societies is the bizarre battle of facts vs feeling, as though one of them must be superior and triumph over the other. Sort of like an apples and oranges kind of thing.

Facts are useful, the way that language as a tool of communication is useful, the way that using our five senses to observe and learn in that regard is useful, and so on. All of this stuff, again it is all tools to be used, to be useful, in order to achieve goals. Science is not a bad thing. Facts are not a bad thing. All useful tools for achieving goals.

Then there is feeling. In some cases, there is an overlap of feelings and facts. For example consider the fight/flight response in both animals and humans. There are scientifically verified changes that take place on a physical level when these survival emotions activate, such as adrenaline release. Again this stuff is useful, as it helps us accomplish the goal of surviving in the face of a physical threat, and we want our bodies to survive so that we can continue to use our bodies as tools to accomplish goals.

Then there is purely feeling, or as many call it, spirituality or the spiritual. This is what begins as a feeling-only, and may or may not end with physical results, such as tears, for example. But even if there is no physical result, such as tears, you still feel it. You will feel it with a part of you that is not purely physical and that is not purely in the realm of science. Which again doesn't mean we have to bash on science. Again science is a useful tool for accomplishing goals.

With Christian beliefs, a large part of this purely-feeling our spirituality comes from outside of you and goes into you, such as the Holy Spirit. It might also beckon the spirituality that is inside of you to come outward and engage with the world around you.

Your post makes it sound a lot like you are very trapped inside of yourself. You seem to focus on your experiences, as experienced from within yourself in response to outside stimuli, as well as focusing on the desires inside of yourself, such as a desire for a girlfriend or social acceptance. These are normal desires, no worries there, but -

Spirituality connects us with everything that is far beyond ourselves and what is inside of ourselves. For example, what could you do for other people, to help other people heal or find their way. When you are experiencing physiological anxiety, are you aware than many millions of people throughout the world at the same time are also experiencing physiological anxiety, and that therefore you are not alone. That in these sorts of things, you are never alone.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Hello everyone. I'm an Atheist who have been recently going to church, perhaps in a desperate attempt to seek resolution and help for my terrible depression and anxiety. I had always have conflicts within myself and others, i didn't quite fit in. Even though it didn't seem logical, i was so depressed that i was willing to try anything to stop my misery. I'm 20, always the awkward guy, never had a girlfriend. I always fear offending people and getting killed, poisoned and harmed in numerous ways. It's very unsettling for me and therapies honestly didn't help me very much.

Why do would God be awesome?

Firstly, knowing that there's a God out there looking out for you and putting your life on his hands reassures you much more than you could think. For someone with severe paranoia and anxiety like me it really helps. You would think that your existence is part of a greater purpose and that your life is destined, worrying about it will not change things.

After going to Church for the past month, I'm honestly astonished by how much faith people have in their God. It's mind-blowing how they could believe with such devotion. The people there are really friendly, despite me being an depressed anxious guy, being the guy always hated in school, work etc. It was one of the first times i felt welcomed. The people there were very warm and welcoming to be despite me saying that me saying that I'm an atheist, and they told me they would look out and pray for me. I really like the community there, tried really hard for the past few weeks to accept Jesus but it was impossible for such a skeptical person like me to accept him. I mean, why would he put me, and others in this world to suffer in agony, only to find him and be saved then? Regardless, even though I didn't really talk much to people there, i still got invited to their gatherings and events. I felt accepted(somewhat?).

However, my anxiety is getting worse, i keep fearing for my life every time i had an argument with anyone, worrying that they would come after me and do harm towards me. It's terrible. I feel so suicidal...What should i do...??? Accepting that God don't exist has made my depression far worse. It's like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. How do you people stay happy...? I'm having an existential crisis being the worthless person I'm. I don't know how to continue living... Virgin, an idiot and 5'5. I really shouldn't exist at all. I need some advice on what to do... Sorry for the long post... Thanks for reading, happy holidays!

Hi there,

Glad that you had the courage to post about your deepest feelings and fears, that takes courage and your heart is open and in the right place, which is an awesome place to be. You are searching for answers, the Lord says in His Word "Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened. Ask and it shall be given" so God is all about seekers of things.

Someone once said (and I believe it was a Christian pastor/preacher) that Jesus Christ is either the Son of God, exactly who He said He is or He has pulled off the biggest hoax of all time.

There are so many facts that exist for God and Jesus Christ. It is really wonderful, not that we all need it, but that there is such proof about our Lord.

Looking at the Old Testament which is carbon dated to have been written before the New Testament we know that the places described in the Bible are all real places. Cities, towns and countries. Geographical evidence supports the Bible.

The Old Testament and the Temple, there is archaeological evidence of it. There are situations and people who described pottery, treasure from the temple stolen and other things that have been written about and discovered by sources outside of the Bible. Their are Egyptian Hyroglifs that write about Moses and the Israelite's and what happend with Pharoah. All these other documents, including carbon dating support our Lord.

Jesus was written about as well as the apostles by Jospehus a Roman Historian. Even Josephus who was writing for Rome, the one that crucified Jesus spoke of the miracles and all the witnesses to the things Jesus and the apostles have done. There is recorded history that Jesus Christ of Nazareth existed and so did His disciples/apostles.

There is a book written by a Journalist who was not a Christian but studied Christian Biblical events and later became a Christian, the book is called The Case for Christ: A Journalist's Personal Investigation of the Evidence for Jesus you can pick it up.

Pray for faith and ask others to pray for you. God gives us that which we ask of Him. It doesn't always come today or even tomorrow, but it does come. There is a section on these forums where you can ask for prayer, you should do that Prayer Wall

Try not to be afraid of Christian events and people. Realize that you have anxiety and most likely depression. You will feel ackward probably no matter who you are around. Once we know ourselves and our weaknesses that is often the best defense against those feelings. Know what is happening, say to yourself "I am feeling anxiety because I am around people, this always causes me anxiety but I know it so I'm just going to do my best to overcome it". When we expect something we can prepare. Prepare your mind in advance because you know it will most likely happen.

Please ask any questions you need.

 

[1watchman]

It appears you are very insecure, Lostsolz, and God can remove this fear and doubts. It is perhaps good you have some fear, for you then may be more able and ready to come to God.

A. If you can believe there is a great Creator-God, and the Bible is His message to mankind for hope and promise of blessing, then you have taken Step 1, which is a great thing you have done (more than many so-called "intellectuals" who trust in self and their ideas; and man's ideas are puny and based on his very limited understanding.

B. Then know that our Creator-God loves us as He says (see John 3:16), and start reading His Word to man ---beginning in the Gospels (meaning good news), which is Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John; and be praying all the time you read for God to teach you; and you will come to know the Savior personally --Jesus, the Christ of God.

C. Know that God will not hold man to anything He has not given us, so read His Holy Bible with confidence and trust in God by determination to know Him and His truth for us. Don't give up on the search, and know the Bible is God's promises.

Just remember that salvation of your soul for eternity is in being "born again" as the Gospels tell us, and is a spiritual work in one who truly wants God in their life forever. I hope you will begin this inquiry today and not stop ever, for it should be the very life-blood of our existence. Look up always, and you can write me personally at my Profile on Conversations here if interested in some further help.

 

[crossnote]

It's not physical death so much that man fears but deep down it's the judgment to come. Those who come to Christ in faith have their sins and guilt forgiven and conscience eased and cleansed through the shed blood of Jesus Christ.

 

[Ffraid]

You'll never find definitive proof of the existence of God. You'll never find definitive proof of His non-existence, either. There, facts out of the way.

Keep going to church, if you feel in place there. Ask God to show you what to do. Have no expectations whatsoever, or you'll end up missing the response because it won't look like whatever you've been expecting.

Also, see a therapist about those obsessions. Tomorrow, if possible.

 

[GusKlenke]

LostSoulz,

I read your post with great concern and sadness. You are at a very important and dangerous point in your life. My first advice to you would be to not seek advice on a web site such as this. You will receive excellent, Godly advice but also bad, questionable, and dangerous advice as well. (Sadly, it may be difficult to know the difference and be misled.)

I would suggest finding a church (quite possibly the one you've already attended) that teaches and practices orthodox Christian doctrine. Continually ask the lord to lead you in this decision. Sit down with the pastor and see if you feel comfortable with what he tells you. Ask what makes his church or denomination different from other main stream churches. He, the staff, and the members should demonstrate true love for Jesus and one another. He should be quick to share scripture and speak of Jesus with passion and confidence. You should get a sense that he truely means what he says AND practices it in his own life. The church should base its entire program on biblical principles.

If you are comfortable with these things ask the Lord to confirm this to you. Listen and be sensitive to the events in your life over the next week and see if you receive confirmation. God has promised if you seek him you WILL FIND HIM.

Then ask to council with this man or someone he recommends. Ask to be discipled so that you can learn scripture and doctrine. You will be getting to know Jesus and it will encourage you to read the Bible on your own time. All of this should be complemented by much prayer. God will lead you to salvation through this.

Here is a great promise from God that is found in Romans 12. It sounds as though you need to hear this. It is true.

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think."

If you will LET God change you, he will actually rewire you brain and change the way you think.

 

[SkyWriting]

I need some advice on what to do.

See "Answered Prayer" below.

 

[zippy2006]

However, my anxiety is getting worse, i keep fearing for my life every time i had an argument with anyone, worrying that they would come after me and do harm towards me. It's terrible. I feel so suicidal...What should i do...??? Accepting that God don't exist has made my depression far worse. It's like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. How do you people stay happy...? I'm having an existential crisis being the worthless person I'm. I don't know how to continue living... Virgin, an idiot and 5'5. I really shouldn't exist at all. I need some advice on what to do... Sorry for the long post... Thanks for reading, happy holidays!

Be at peace. God loves you and is seeking you out.

Matthew 6:25-34:

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O men of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day.​

 

[BubbaJack]

Maybe for a while just hang on to someone else's faith? Find a believer you respect and trust and consider that they must know what they are talking about.

Also, check out the book The End of Theism:
Shane Hayes - Home

 

[lawofderp]

Hi there.

I come from a similar place and was in a similar position for a long time.

First, I want you to watch this :

If you accept the conclusion of this experiment then you accept that what you perceive with your senses isn't all there is. In fact the simple act of perceiving may well change your surroundings to some degree. The world is far, far stranger than anybody knows. What's so outrageous about the existence of a creator after watching this video?

Personally, I don't think a universe of this scope and complexity that is seemingly fine-tuned to allow for the existence of life could have been created by random chance. I also think that for the inanimate to become animate, sentient and even sapient, some kind of divine spark was needed.

I think a degree of agnosticism is pretty common, even in those who believe. After all, we'll probably never scientifically know whether God exists or not. But it is possible to trust nonetheless - that is, have faith. As someone on here once told me, we have faith in the littlest things : faith that our car will start, faith that our plane won't crash, even faith that the meal we order at a restaurant will be good. We have faith in other humans and our technology all the time. Considering how wondrous and strange the world is, is it such a stretch to have faith in God?

Look around you. Has the Western world improved since its rejection of God? Are we all Übermenschen, or are we all slaves? Do the values of this society celebrate life, or cheapen it?

Hopefully I'll see you down the path.