As A pastor's spouse....

tall73

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How much if any training did you get from the Church? Did your church allow you to sit in and listen to his lessons? Did it have a special spouses programs. What are your thoughts on these issues.

I am not aware of a lot of programs with formal training for pastor's wives at the same time as the pastor.

I suppose that could vary widely in various settings. Many pastors go to formal academic institutions, rather than training by the local church. Those churches who ordain pastors locally likely train on the job in working with other ministers, more than just lessons. And some pastors may not be married at the time of training, but only later.

If you are married to someone who is undergoing training at a school and wish to learn as well, you may consider asking to audit a class and sit in with them at times if it would interest you. Some people I have known have thereby been able to go through theological training without paying a large bill or obtaining a degree. However, they enjoyed the learning.rt as well as just knowledge.
 
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Joyous Song

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I am not aware of a lot of programs with formal training for pastor's wives.

I suppose that could vary widely in various settings. Many pastors go to formal academic institutions, rather than training by the local church. Those churches who ordain pastors locally likely train on the job in working with other ministers, more than just lessons. And some pastors may not be married at the time of training, but only later.

If you are married to someone who is undergoing training at a school and wish to learn as well, you may consider asking to audit a class and sit in with them at times if it would interest you. Some people I have known have thereby been able to go through theological training without paying a large bill or obtaining a degree. However, they enjoyed the learning.

I just know that a friend recently became a deacon in the Orthodox faith, I was already the wife of a deacon. His wife asked me about the training I had had and I was startled. It never occurred to me other churches might train wives though doing so makes some sense.

I suppose I normally could ask, but with covid risks its not likely I could go along with him. The fewer there the better the social distancing. Of course my husband shares what he is learning but her comment stays with me. She was from the Greek Orthodox Faith, were women are given special training when their husbands are ordained. This is why I asked about other faith traditions. I part of the PNCC, by the way.
 
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tall73

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There may also be opportunities to attend workshops at some denominational gatherings for continuing education once ministers are already in a church setting. Some have included interested spouses in my experience.

However, your best bet is to get to know experienced ministers and their spouses and talk with them about what they go through. Ask them to mentor you. We had multiple formal mentors, and a couple informal mentors, and you learn a lot by ministering together and sharing insights. Mentors can tailor it to your strengths and weaknesses, and give spiritual support as well as just knowledge.

One denomination I was in had a group for the pastor's wives as well when we were at meetings, for them to share.
 
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tall73

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She was from the Greek Orthodox Faith, were women are given special training when their husbands are ordained. .

Perhaps someone familiar with it can relate what that is like. It sounds like a good idea.
 
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Joyous Song

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There may also be opportunities to attend workshops at some denominational gatherings for continuing education once ministers are already in a church setting. Some have included interested spouses in my experience.

However, your best bet is to get to know experienced ministers and their spouses and talk with them about what they go through. Ask them to mentor you. We had multiple formal mentors, and a couple informal mentors, and you learn a lot by ministering together and sharing insights. Mentors can tailor it to your strengths and weaknesses, and give spiritual support as well as just knowledge.

One denomination I was in had a group for the pastor's wives as well when we were at meetings, for them to share.

JS: you are correct, Before Covid I went to several different programs offered by our church. I also spoke often with our Bishop's wife. Yet covid changed this. Perhaps when the dust settles I can reconnect and catch up.
 
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tall73

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JS: you are correct, Before Covid I went to several different programs offered by our church. I also spoke often with our Bishop's wife. Yet covid changed this. Perhaps when the dust settles I can reconnect and catch up.


You are not alone in that! COVID changed a lot of things in ministry. Yet, it also created more interest in spiritual things for some.

You may try reaching out by video conference, etc. We have continued to have ministers meetings through that means.
 
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bèlla

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I would look at programs and classes geared for women's shepherding. That's usually the demographic you deal with. Biblical counseling is another possibility. Hospitality, communication, and conflict resolution are good ones. As is time management and stress reduction.

The men are usually overworked. It often has an adverse effect at home. Understanding and patience go a long way. And develop a support network. Wives need confidants and loving shoulders too.

Yours in His Service,

~bella
 
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Joyous Song

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You are not alone in that! COVID changed a lot of things in ministry. Yet, it also created more interest in spiritual things for some.

You may try reaching out by video conference, etc. We have continued to have ministers meetings through that means.

JS: Right now I go to Mass by Zoom, I at risk. I only vidio conferenced once. I ask my husband about it and see what he thinks. I might work especially if they have to cancel the next conference because of Covid.
 
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Joyous Song

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I would look at programs and classes geared for women's shepherding. That's usually the demographic you deal with. Biblical counseling is another possibility. Hospitality, communication, and conflict resolution are good ones. As is time management and stress reduction.

The men are usually overworked. It often has an adverse effect at home. Understanding and patience go a long way. And develop a support network. Wives need confidants and loving shoulders too.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

I lucky, my husband has been in service ministry long before he even became a deacon. He will certainly get busier when he completes his courses. They are being done by our local bishop which our Prime Bishop felt was safer given the epidemic. I buy books and have done a lot of reading of service and I came here, felt compelled to, likely for this same reason.

Thank you all for your support as well. I know my situation is partially due to covid and the changes that brought to the process. Yet I still wonder, is the Orthadox Faith slone is training spouses?
 
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bèlla

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Thank you all for your support as well. I know my situation is partially due to covid and the changes that brought to the process. Yet I still wonder, is the Orthadox Faith slone is training spouses?

I'm happy to help. :)

Women married to men in positions of leadership have overlapping responsibilities. The qualities you need to succeed in one role are apropos for the next. The application differs. But the skill is unchanged.

The Orthodox may hone character and life skills and direct them in a manner that supports the spouse's work. I doubt it's wholly different from what you'd encounter as the wife of a CEO, politician, or someone on the corporate fast track. It's a team effort.

~bella
 
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Joyous Song

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I'm happy to help. :)

Women married to men in positions of leadership have overlapping responsibilities. The qualities you need to succeed in one role are apropos for the next. The application differs. But the skill is unchanged.

The Orthodox may hone character and life skills and direct them in a manner that supports the spouse's work. I doubt it's wholly different from what you'd encounter as the wife of a CEO, politician, or someone on the corporate fast track. It's a team effort.

~bella

JS: and communication is the key, both a a well run ministry and a well loved marriage. Thanks again for the support.
 
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Joyous Song

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Exactly. You can glean from many sources. Including etiquette books. ;)

~bella

Miss Manners for example. My daughter loves her. I also barrow her CS Lewis books, He has so much wisdom on faith. I lastly gathered book from my year I was able to go to seminary I could pull out again. I usually read these on Sabbath as that when I stop and have time to read.
 
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bèlla

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Miss Manners for example. My daughter loves her. I also barrow her CS Lewis books, He has so much wisdom on faith. I lastly gathered book from my year I was able to go to seminary I could pull out again. I usually read these on Sabbath as that when I stop and have time to read.

The older stuff is really good. Are you wanting seminary level instruction? Gordon Conwell provides free classes.

~bella
 
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Joyous Song

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The older stuff is really good. Are you wanting seminary level instruction? Gordon Conwell provides free classes.

~bella

Checking it out and thanks so much, I miss taking classes. Do I need regular internet access?
 
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bèlla

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Checking it out and thanks so much, I miss taking classes. Do I need regular internet access?

I'm not sure. You can take your time working through them. It's a seminary. There's another source I asked about a few weeks ago.

~bella
 
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com7fy8

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I asked about other faith traditions. I part of the PNCC
I feed on 1 Timothy 3:1-10. To me, this includes how the pastor has his wife and she is his helpmate . . . who has helped him to become qualified to pastor. Together they have gotten God's correction so he has become "blameless" the way God's love makes a person blameless. Plus, she has helped him learn how to rule his own house well so he can know how to take care of God's people in our Father's family caring and sharing way. For this, their seminary has been their own marriage and home. She has been essential, then, to his becoming qualified.

This is what I get through the Bible.

In church experience > my take is there are women who go to Bible school, connect with a future pastor, then share with one another in studying. Then they are on the same page, later. This can happen in Baptist, Pentecostal, and evangelical, and other groups.

But in different sorts of Catholic training, I see how the man might be either celibate or having a wife who does not study in his school. But, yes, at home they may discuss what has been good in his classes, so they both benefit; he can get experience in ministering with her . . . and get feedback :)

I have been told how in certain groups ones tend to make it all about the man being the pastor. The wife can be left out, and there are wives who feel they can not contribute to pastoring. And the women have health and emotional problems because they are left out and feel inadequate.

But there are groups who have couples pastoring. They are one with each other, essential to each other, and their example feeds God's people better than any amount of Bible knowledge and training can bring >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

The 1 Timothy 3:1-10 couple is an example of marriage, how to become in God's love, how to bring up children. They have discovered in their homes demonstration of how God has a marriage thrive and how God has them learn how to bring up their children. And so they have God's demonstration of all He means by His word. And it takes years for them to mature in this so they can pastor others with their example and experience of how God does His word in sharing with us.
 
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Joyous Song

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The older stuff is really good. Are you wanting seminary level instruction? Gordon Conwell provides free classes.

~bella


JS: an update. I finely got on the internet long enough to listen to one course from that collage. Its excellent and I enjoyed this greatly. Thank you so much
 
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I just know that a friend recently became a deacon in the Orthodox faith, I was already the wife of a deacon. His wife asked me about the training I had had and I was startled. It never occurred to me other churches might train wives though doing so makes some sense.

I suppose I normally could ask, but with covid risks its not likely I could go along with him. The fewer there the better the social distancing. Of course my husband shares what he is learning but her comment stays with me. She was from the Greek Orthodox Faith, were women are given special training when their husbands are ordained. This is why I asked about other faith traditions. I part of the PNCC, by the way.

Presbytera and Diakonissa (the wife of a priest or deacon have their own titles) do have some classes at seminary that they can audit but also receive some training as to their role as "mother" of a parish. They are not ordained or hold an official position, but they are always in a highly visible part of the church life.

For example, one book is called "Presbytera: The Life, Mission and Service of the Priest's wife".
 
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