Article: It's Time to Embrace Feminism's Anger

[bekkilyn]

***Please note that this post is in the Egalitarian Christians forum before posting a bunch of rubbish about how women were created to be sub-human, etc.***

(To read the entire article, please do a search on "It's Time to Embrace Feminism's Anger". Note that there are some words that are considered to be profanity.)

Someone on a different forum posted this article and I thought some here would be interested. This article is not specifically religious in any way, but there is much that seems to apply when it comes to the treatment of women within the church as well as secular society as a whole. This quote in particular stands out to me (emphasis mine):

"Women are told in a million small ways that anger, along with other strong emotions, is an inappropriate response to things that by their definitions should provoke anger: discrimination, disenfranchisement, degradation, abuse."

How many hundreds of times have women been told here on CF that we are disobedient to God if we become angry about any of the discrimination, disenfranchisement, degradation, and abuse that we all experience simply just by having the audacity to exist in the world?

 

[Paidiske]

I find it particularly difficult when anger at injustice is labelled "divisive."

No, the division came with the injustice; noticing and reacting to it is the first step to bridging the divide!

 

[Paidiske]

I was reading that series of articles, and I came across this great line: "Our history isn’t particularly great here, but our possibilities are endless."

That's how I feel about this. Yes, things have been bad, are bad. But we each hold the capacity to choose differently. To shape our communications and our habits and our ways of being to create something new and better.

That's a particularly Christian call; to be open to the new and better reality of the reign of God. Which is why I feel it so doubly frustrating when Christians refuse to be open to treating every person as fully human, with worth and dignity equal to every other.

 

[bekkilyn]

I was reading that series of articles, and I came across this great line: "Our history isn’t particularly great here, but our possibilities are endless."

That's how I feel about this. Yes, things have been bad, are bad. But we each hold the capacity to choose differently. To shape our communications and our habits and our ways of being to create something new and better.

That's a particularly Christian call; to be open to the new and better reality of the reign of God. Which is why I feel it so doubly frustrating when Christians refuse to be open to treating every person as fully human, with worth and dignity equal to every other.

It's especially frustrating because I strongly believe that Christians should be at the very forefront of treating every person as fully human and of equal value, as Christ taught us to do, but much of the time we seem the very opposite, and very vocally opposite, mocking the whole idea of social justice.

 

[Chaplain David]

Justifiable anger is certainly appropriate sometimes but there comes a time for each of us when we must move on to more positive emotions and actions. If we don't the anger can be destructive and compound our life problems.

One of the difficulties with anger is that it is often a covering emotion when we have problems expressing emotions beneath the surface. They can be fear, pain, or hurt and can be the ones that really need to be expressed and dealt with in order to move on positively. This has been my experience and that of people close to me. God bless everyone.

 

[Paidiske]

I think labelling anger as "negative" is a problem in and of itself. We know it's a necessary part of healthy human psychology, a normal part of grief, of healing from trauma, etc. We shouldn't shame people for feeling or expressing it.

 

[PloverWing]

Justifiable anger is certainly appropriate sometimes but there comes a time for each of us when we must move on to more positive emotions and actions. If we don't the anger can be destructive and compound our life problems.

One of the difficulties with anger is that it is often a covering emotion when we have problems expressing emotions beneath the surface. They can be fear, pain, or hurt and can be the ones that really need to be expressed and dealt with in order to move on positively. This has been my experience and that of people close to me. God bless everyone.

This is good advice in some situations. However, it's not the first advice I would offer in a social justice situation. As the protagonist in the movie Inside Out observes, anger is the emotion that keeps things fair. Telling an oppressed group of people that they should set aside their anger can be a way of telling them that they should settle for continued injustice. In the context of a call for justice, anger is constructive. It can serve as the emotional fuel that pushes us to change an oppressive system and make it better.

I don't know if the people you've counselled have been mostly men or women, but the difference in socialization that men and women receive is significant here. Women are often socialized to suppress anger. Never express it out loud; if possible, don't even express it to yourself, don't feel it at all. Keep the peace; smooth things over; yield to the other person's preferences. It took me years to realize the socialization difference, because I didn't realize how much strength and anger and dominance was encouraged in boys until I was an adult. The advice that I'd give to a loud, domineering man with a hot temper is different from the advice that I'd give to someone who's been trained never to speak for her own rights, who maybe doesn't even believe that justice is a right.

Sometimes the right action is to forgive, seventy times seven; but sometimes the right action is to shout "Let my people go!"

 

[Paidiske]

I don't know if the people you've counselled have been mostly men or women, but the difference in socialization that men and women receive is significant here. Women are often socialized to suppress anger. Never express it out loud; if possible, don't even express it to yourself, don't feel it at all.

I can remember, as a child, basically being threatened with damnation for feeling anger. Because it meant I wasn't obedient in my heart, and there wouldn't be room in heaven for someone like that.

Now I realise that was a form of spiritual abuse, but as a child... you internalise that stuff.

 

[archer75]

I think labelling anger as "negative" is a problem in and of itself. We know it's a necessary part of healthy human psychology, a normal part of grief, of healing from trauma, etc. We shouldn't shame people for feeling or expressing it.

Agree. Only addition I have is that sometimes - often these days in US discourse - anger becomes an end in itself. I think these phenomena should be distinguished:

-anger that is for something (to correct injustice)
-anger that is a show and demands attention for itself with no real desire for change, because that wouls reduce anger.

 

[PloverWing]

I didn't get a threat of damnation, but I got a similar message in a hundred small ways.

I remember the day as a young adult, in my early 20s, when I was on the receiving end of an injustice, and I felt this new emotion, anger, rising up to say "No, that's not right!" I realized that anger, as an emotion, had simply disappeared from my emotional repertoire for over a decade. When it reappeared, I realized that it was a friend, a part of me that believed in my own value as a person.

 

[Paidiske]

Yes. That last sentence hits the nail on the head.

I've had a long history of abuse, and working out healthy boundaries took me quite a while. But I remember very very clearly the moment where something crystallised inside me and I went, "I am not just accepting being treated wrongly any more. I'm done with that."

I was 32 and a new mum, and I don't think that's a coincidence. I think when you're invested in building a world where your child won't have to fight for her dignity and value as a human person quite so hard as you did, you're more prepared to stand up to the "powers that be" and say, "I won't accept that injustice any more. We have to do better."

 

[archer75]

I suppose I am in a bit of an odd position, since I am a man and was socialized (at least at home) to believe that anger must never be expressed or even felt. So I admit that sometimes I feel a touch of inappropriate resentment when I read that women should express anger (although they should).

 

[Paidiske]

Why do you think you were taught that, archer? (If I may ask).

Because I can understand being resentful at seeing someone else given permission for something denied to you... but perhaps the answer lies in giving yourself permission also?

 

[archer75]

Why do you think you were taught that, archer? (If I may ask).

Because I can understand being resentful at seeing someone else given permission for something denied to you... but perhaps the answer lies in giving yourself permission also?

Why? I guess the main factor was having a verbally abusive and explosively angry family member...so anger at that party was taken out on me and minor "offenses" on my part - like reasonably defending myself or asking a clarifying question - were deemed "being just like [angry party]."

Now, that's not to say that I was therefore socialized as women are in my country. But that a significant part of my socialization was unlike the "standard" for men.

To keep this on-topic, I think with the recent "men's anger and men being angry at angry women" movements, what I describe here is a significant factor that feeds men into these movements. That doesn't justify them - but I do think the combo of "raised to just take abuse" + "popular discourse that tells you often that only women take abuse" can be quite poisonous.

I thought of this because of the sub-article from the OP where the woman talks about her (obviously unskilled and horrible) writing instructor and how she imagined that a man's anger would have been accepted, etc. This is not to nitpick her - at all - but such imaginings are unhealthy and lead ro resentment. "Someone ELSE might not be treated this way" leads nowhere and already has a foot out the door of reality...I think a bettee focus is on what IS being done wrong, not what would be done right (to another party)...

I hope this is on-topic.

 

[Dave-W]

I can remember, as a child, basically being threatened with damnation for feeling anger. Because it meant I wasn't obedient in my heart, and there wouldn't be room in heaven for someone like that.

Now I realise that was a form of spiritual abuse, but as a child... you internalise that stuff.

THat sounds way too familiar. I had the same threats.

 

[Dave-W]

I suppose I am in a bit of an odd position, since I am a man and was socialized (at least at home) to believe that anger must never be expressed or even felt. So I admit that sometimes I feel a touch of inappropriate resentment when I read that women should express anger (although they should).

Oh I totally get that.

 

[bekkilyn]

This is good advice in some situations. However, it's not the first advice I would offer in a social justice situation. As the protagonist in the movie Inside Out observes, anger is the emotion that keeps things fair. Telling an oppressed group of people that they should set aside their anger can be a way of telling them that they should settle for continued injustice. In the context of a call for justice, anger is constructive. It can serve as the emotional fuel that pushes us to change an oppressive system and make it better.

I don't know if the people you've counselled have been mostly men or women, but the difference in socialization that men and women receive is significant here. Women are often socialized to suppress anger. Never express it out loud; if possible, don't even express it to yourself, don't feel it at all. Keep the peace; smooth things over; yield to the other person's preferences. It took me years to realize the socialization difference, because I didn't realize how much strength and anger and dominance was encouraged in boys until I was an adult. The advice that I'd give to a loud, domineering man with a hot temper is different from the advice that I'd give to someone who's been trained never to speak for her own rights, who maybe doesn't even believe that justice is a right.

Sometimes the right action is to forgive, seventy times seven; but sometimes the right action is to shout "Let my people go!"

Yes, there are many areas in scripture God becomes angry at injustice and I sincerely doubt that God has just "gotten over" being angry and offended about it considering that the injustices still very much exist today. We *should* be angry over injustice and Christians especially should be leading the way, but unfortunately it seems to often not be the case considering that many Christian churches actually *promote* injustice.

 

[Paidiske]

I'm really sorry about your experience, archer.

I thought of this because of the sub-article from the OP where the woman talks about her (obviously unskilled and horrible) writing instructor and how she imagined that a man's anger would have been accepted, etc. This is not to nitpick her - at all - but such imaginings are unhealthy and lead ro resentment. "Someone ELSE might not be treated this way" leads nowhere and already has a foot out the door of reality...I think a bettee focus is on what IS being done wrong, not what would be done right (to another party)...

I don't know? I can't speak for that exact circumstance, but I know there have been plenty of occasions in my life where I've been acutely aware that I wouldn't have been treated as badly if I were a man. I don't think it's wrong to notice or articulate that.

I mean, there are times when someone treating you badly makes it explicit and clear that it's about gender ("Women don't belong in science" (my first degree was in science), or "It's not appropriate for a young woman to do this job," or "It isn't the right time now to add a female in [role].") There are other times when people don't explicitly state that it's about gender, but you know that a man in that position wouldn't be treated in the same way, or face the same criticisms for the same behaviour. Pointing that out can be a valid part of analysing what is being done wrong, actually.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

***Please note that this post is in the Egalitarian Christians forum before posting a bunch of rubbish about how women were created to be sub-human, etc.***

Please quote or reference ANY post in ANY thread on ANY forum that says that women are sub-human, etc ... (as a basis for your "please note")

 

[Paidiske]

I was thinking about this, too, as I was out this morning; because I have a set of beautitudes which were written by an abuse survivor, as a kind of reflection on the place of anger in recovery from that kind of trauma.

I normally hesitate to share them, and I do so only with the caveat that they are not true for everyone and every situation; but they are an important truth for some people in particular situations.

Blessed are the fierce,
for they stand against evil.
Blessed are the impassioned,
for it is their strength.
Blessed are the furious,
for they resist destruction.
Blessed are the indignant,
for they know mercy and pity.
Blessed are the angry,
for their cause is honourable.
Blessed are those who rage,
for they are hungry for living truth.
Blessed are the wrathful,
for so is their Father in heaven.

And as I was reflecting on them, this morning, in light of this conversation, I wondered whether part of the reason that the churches have failed so miserably to respond to the abuse crisis is because we did not allow ourselves a healthy anger. The voices of anger have been raised from outside, but inside we have spoken softly and been measured and put the emphasis on healing and forgiveness... and forgotten that somewhere in there, we might need to make room for vivid rage.