Comparing siblings' grades, punishments and hurtful opinions -- these supposed remedies can be devastating.
“A terrible waste!” When Philip talks about his years of studies, he bitterly recognizes that he missed his path. “I am very good with my hands and I always dreamed of having my own cabinet making workshop. It was unthinkable in my family! I had to go to medical school, and I had no passion for it. And here I am, 40 years old, frustrated to practice a profession, certainly one rewarding in the eyes of those around me, but which does not make me happy.”
How many wasted childhoods and missed vocations are due to a parental obsession with excellence? Performance at all costs is a poison that plants the seed for unhealthy rivalries and stormy relationships.
“For every child prodigy that you know about, at least 50 potential ones have burned out before you even heard about them.” ~Itzhak Perlman[1]
Child prodigies often burn out because they typically lack childhoods, a time in life to stimulate creativity through play.[2][7] Even baby animals learn survival skills through play.[3][4] With ALL children, praise EFFORT and WORK ETHIC, NEVER ability.[5][6][8][9] This is to prevent children from basing their entire worth around their abilities. Once those abilities fail for the first time in life, it will cause much psychological harm to those children. This is usually apparent once they enter college and actually have to WORK for their marks, especially in competitive environments.[8][9]
Big Fish, Small Pond Syndrome is a real thing.[10] One may be considered the greatest in his or her own school, but once they enter a prestigious college or university... Suddenly they're with or even competing against the best of their own schools. Reality is, there is ALWAYS someone better than each of us in one way or another. This is why the Bible prohibits comparing ourselves with each other (1 Corinthians 12:12-31, 2 Corinthians 10:12-18, Proverbs 26:12, 1 Samuel 16:4-7). Finally, there is ZERO shame in working trades. Trade schools have cheaper education and tradesmen will ALWAYS be needed. We won't have electricity without electricians. We won't have sanitation without plumbers. We don't have working machinery without mechanics. ALL honest, legal, Christ-like work is GOOD, and are in HIGH DEMAND![11][12][13][14]
On May 1, 2021, at roughly 12:40 AM Eastern Time, I have added Scripture to these disclaimers, and am planning to continue doing so (John 13:1-17, Luke 16:1-15, Matthew 7:13-29). My apologies, I am still learning because I am a flawed human being who is predisposed towards selfishness.
On February 2, 2021, at roughly 11:05 AM Eastern Time, this post has been edited to correct a writing mistake. My apologies, I am still learning because I am a flawed human being who is predisposed towards selfishness.
