Are Virgins More Worthy of Marrying?

[correspondenceoftruth]

In the dating scene, there is an unspoken rule about marrying a virgin and rejecting those who aren't. I've seen instances where a friend of mine would out of the blue break up with a great girl/guy. After I ask them why, they simply state, "She/He isn't pure." Is this Biblical to reject a potential spouse just because they had sinned sexually?

That goes without saying, obviously I would not advocate marrying someone who is unrepentant of their sexual sins and most likely carry that into a future marriage. I'm merely asking as it pertains to past mistakes and judging someone on their life before becoming saved.

I myself am not a virgin, so I struggle when looking for a potential spouse as to not "defile someone pure".

 

[Lost4words]

Go with your heart.

 

[correspondenceoftruth]

Go with your heart.

My heart says, "Anyone who has committed fornication is not a part of the kingdom of God."

I wish to take back what I did, but I can't. This shame will never leave. So does that mean I should live alone for the rest of my life to make up for it? Is marriage only for pure Christians?

 

[TheLostCoin]

In the dating scene, there is an unspoken rule about marrying a virgin and rejecting those who aren't. I've seen instances where a friend of mine would out of the blue break up with a great girl/guy. After I ask them why, they simply state, "She/He isn't pure." Is this Biblical to reject a potential spouse just because they had sinned sexually?

That goes without saying, obviously I would not advocate marrying someone who is unrepentant of their sexual sins and most likely carry that into a future marriage. I'm merely asking as it pertains to past mistakes and judging someone on their life before becoming saved.

I myself am not a virgin, so I struggle when looking for a potential spouse as to not "defile someone pure".

John 8:1-11

"Oh yeah, somehow one of Jesus's parables doesn't count because *insert nonbinding, noncontextual Mosaic law OT Bible verse here*"

I'm not saying fornication is a good thing at all; in fact, you are just as guilty in your sin. But if you think there is someone without sin besides Christ (and His Mother if you are Catholic or Orthodox), you are a fool.

 

[JustSomeBloke]

We are all sinners.

 

[correspondenceoftruth]

We are all sinners.

Aren't some sins weightier than others?

 

[TheLostCoin]

I'll be honest, there's a lot of virgin men and women who are more ravenous wolves than non-virgins.

In secular culture, many women see virgin men in their 20s and older as a bad sign because it indicates to them you have had problems with women or other problems with yourself that prevented you from losing it. Which is horrible. But it is what it is.

 

[TheLostCoin]

Aren't some sins weightier than others?

Every sin except the sin against the Holy Spirit will be forgiven.

 

[correspondenceoftruth]

I'll be honest, there's a lot of virgin men and women who are more ravenous wolves than non-virgins.

In secular culture, many women see virgin men in their 20s and older as a bad sign because it indicates to them you have had problems with women. Which is horrible. But it is what it is.

Very true. There's a lot more pressure to be "pure" for women, obviously. Some guys won't even speak to an "impure" girl.

God sees the heart, but I guess we're all just too distracted by the outside.

 

[TexFire316]

In the dating scene, there is an unspoken rule about marrying a virgin and rejecting those who aren't. I've seen instances where a friend of mine would out of the blue break up with a great girl/guy. After I ask them why, they simply state, "She/He isn't pure." Is this Biblical to reject a potential spouse just because they had sinned sexually?

That goes without saying, obviously I would not advocate marrying someone who is unrepentant of their sexual sins and most likely carry that into a future marriage. I'm merely asking as it pertains to past mistakes and judging someone on their life before becoming saved.

I myself am not a virgin, so I struggle when looking for a potential spouse as to not "defile someone pure".

Yes, a virgin girl was and is the most sought after for a wife.
But those have become as rare as... well as diamonds.

 

[correspondenceoftruth]

Every sin except the sin against the Holy Spirit will be forgiven.

So are we to judge accordingly?

For example, a fornicator who repents is just as redeemed as a thief who repents and pays his due?

 

[TheLostCoin]

Very true. There's a lot more pressure to be "pure" for women, obviously. Some guys won't even speak to an "impure" girl.

God sees the heart, but I guess we're all just too distracted by the outside.

How old are you? Are you in your teens?

 

[correspondenceoftruth]

Yes, a virgin girl was and is the most sought after for a wife.
But those have become as rare as... well as diamonds.

So you're implying virgin women are better than the others? Would you not consider the opposite? (No judging here. Just curious)

 

[correspondenceoftruth]

How old are you? Are you in your teens?

Mid 20's

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

My heart says, "Anyone who has committed fornication is not a part of the kingdom of God."

Your heart is not a good discern er of truth. Believe what the Word of God says.
Jer.17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

I wish to take back what I did, but I can't. This shame will never leave. So does that mean I should live alone for the rest of my life to make up for it? Is marriage only for pure Christians?

Lord Jesus has forgiven you, now, forgive yourself. Christians are pure in Christ Jesus. If Jesus is youjr Lord, you are forgiven. If you want to marry, then, marry. You cannot go back and undo what has already done. You have to move on trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ who IS the Savior, who forgives all of your transgressions.

 

[JustSomeBloke]

So are we to judge accordingly?

For example, a fornicator who repents is just as redeemed as a thief who repents and pays his due?

None of us deserve redemption, but it is freely given to all who repent and request it.

 

[correspondenceoftruth]

Your heart is not a good discern er of truth. Believe what the Word of God says.
Jer.17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?


Lord Jesus has forgiven you, now, forgive yourself. Christians are pure in Christ Jesus. If Jesus is youjr Lord, you are forgiven. If you want to marry, then, marry. You cannot go back and undo what has already done. You have to move on trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ who IS the Savior, who forgives all of your transgressions.

But sister, there are unclean spirits and curses that carry in these sinful acts. I would not want to establish a family from such a poor foundation.

 

[TheLostCoin]

So are we to judge accordingly?

For example, a fornicator who repents is just as redeemed as a thief who repents and pays his due?

Yes, but only God knows the heart.

You should be able to accept someone who is genuine and won't cheat on you, and past sexual behavior should be no big deal, unless it's grossly promiscuous (don't date a harlot; I'm talking the type who did weekend one night stands in college and high schools). It's a fact that "pair-bonding" decreases and rates of cheating increase with more and more sexual behavior.

Don't be naive and allow yourself to be manipulated either. If she's attracted to you and you are religious, women like to often portray themselves as "pure, sweet lambs among brambles" and appeal to your ego to take full advantage of you, don't be suckered into that behavior.

Look, "virgin women" in their 20s will be rare, and chances are more likely than not she is lying to you if she claims she is a virgin.

No joke, I had one girl who was flirting with me who would play up her religiosity with me, going out of her way to say "Oh my Gosh" and "Aw, gee," and giving me puppy eyes, even though her Instagram constantly had her flaunting how sexy her boyfriend was and how much she was turned on by him. I've also heard guys around talk about how they casually slept with her.

Don't be naive.

 

[Lost4words]

If you truly fall in love with someone, then, you will truly understand them and dismiss their faults / past errors in life.

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

But sister, there are unclean spirits and curses that carry in these sinful acts. I would not want to establish a family from such a poor foundation.

Suit yourself. If you cannot believe that Lord Jesus' blood is powerful enough to cleans you of all unrighteosness, there is noting more to say to you. All of us sin.That is why our Father sent Lord Jesus.
1 John1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

I have given you the word of God. Go and be blessed.