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Are some Christians meant to be single?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Lybrah, Feb 14, 2018.

  1. Lybrah

    Lybrah Active Member

    294
    +210
    Christian
    Single
    Are there people that God did not make a significant other for? What if the person doesn't desire a boyfriend/girlfriend? Sometimes I wonder if the guy God had for me was aborted in the womb. Does God want some people to remain single?
     
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  2. dreadnought

    dreadnought Lip service isn't really service. Supporter

    +3,396
    United States
    United Methodist
    Celibate
    Perhaps the answer lies here:

    [36] If any one thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry -- it is no sin.
    [37] But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.
    [38] So that he who marries his betrothed does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better. 1 Cor 7:36-38 RSV
     
  3. God is good

    God is good Well-Known Member

    735
    +840
    Christian
    Single
    I think that some christians could be meant to be single for a little while but I don't really know the answer, I am single and I think it's good because it gives me time to focus everything I have on my relationship with the Lord Jesus. I do eventually want a wife but the way I see it is, if it is God's will for me to have a wife it will happen and if it's not in His will, it won't. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.
     
  4. mukk_in

    mukk_in Yankees Fan Supporter

    +3,546
    India
    Christian
    Celibate
    It's better to stay single and focus on God's work. But God isn't cruel and people will find a mate should they desire one. Peace in Christ :).
     
  5. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,200
    Christian
    Married
    Paul's teaching ...

    1 Corinthians 7

    7 I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

    8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.
     
  6. AvgJoe

    AvgJoe Member since 2005 Supporter

    +1,003
    United States
    Baptist
    Private
    Question: "What does the Bible say about a Christian staying single?"

    Answer:
    The question of a Christian staying single and what the Bible says about believers never marrying is often misunderstood. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8: “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” Notice that he says some have the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage. Although it seems that nearly everyone marries, it is not necessarily God's will for everyone. Paul, for example, did not have to worry about the extra problems and stresses that come with marriage and/or family. He devoted his entire life to spreading the Word of God. He would not have been such a useful messenger if he had been married.

    On the other hand, some people do better as a team, serving God as a couple and a family. Both kinds of people are equally important. It is not a sin to remain single, even for your entire life. The most important thing in life is not finding a mate and having children, but serving God. We should educate ourselves on the Word of God by reading our Bibles and praying. If we ask God to reveal Himself to us, He will respond (Matthew 7:7), and if we ask Him to use us to fulfill His good works, He will do that as well. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

    Singleness should not be viewed as a curse or an indication that there is “something wrong” with the single man or woman. While most people marry, and while the Bible seems to indicate that it is God’s will for most people to marry, a single Christian is in no sense a “second class” Christian. As 1 Corinthians 7 indicates, singleness is, if anything, a higher calling. As with everything else in life, we should ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) concerning marriage. Following God’s plan, whether that be marriage or singleness, will result in the productivity and joy that God desires for us.

    www.gotquestions.org/single-Christian.html
     
  7. AvgJoe

    AvgJoe Member since 2005 Supporter

    +1,003
    United States
    Baptist
    Private
    Recently, I read an interesting on seeking a wife~~~> www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/bachelors-discovery-time/
     
  8. pinkjess

    pinkjess There she goes...at the speed of sound

    655
    +475
    Non-Denom
    Celibate
    As a fellow single Christian woman who has never had a boyfriend, I want to ask you to please not fall for the mental trap in thinking God has created a certain spouse for you, that there is someone out there who God specially created for you. The truth is, God gives us freewill and a choice in who we marry, so long as the other person is Christian and follows Christ.

    I used to worry that I was missing out on the "one" guy who God "created" me to be with. I obsessed over every crush I had, thinking "what if he is the one God wants me to be with?" over and over again. I obsessed over one crush I had, who worked at a local grocery store. I would stalk him on Facebook, add him as a friend, and pray that if it was "God's will" that we cross paths. It was a mess. And the funny part? I didn't even know him. I just thought he was cute. If you're not careful, your mind can runaway with ideas such as this. I panicked when I thought I would never see him again, because then I wouldn't get to "be with the one God made me for". Please don't do crud like that.

    I could be wrong, but from all the research I've done on the topic (because I wondered too), it doesn't look like God specifically picks out a spouse for us. We have a choice, we can choose. Now, God KNOWS who we eventually end up with, but that doesn't mean He specially created them for us to marry in the beginning. We are all our own people, otherwise we wouldn't have freewill.
     
  9. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    +5,164
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Republican
    Yes. The idea of "soulmates" isn't Biblical, though. Not only is it not taught in the Bible, think of what the Bible does teach: If your spouse dies, you are free to remarry, with no limit on how many spouse deaths you have had to endure. So whether you've had one spouse die on you or 5, you can always remarry. Now, let's say you've had 3 of them die on you, and you move halfway around the world and find a Christian man there who has had two wives die on him. You two can get married, and you may be a great match. But what does that mean? He was Mr. Right for at least 3 women, and you were Miss Right for at least 4 men. That kind of breaks the concept of soulmates as we like to think of them.

    If that was the case, was he really the one that God intended for you? If his will can be so easily thwarted by one selfish decision (we're assuming this aborted person would have been born otherwise, as opposed to being miscarried in some way), then it should have been easier for Satan to stop Jesus from being born. No, God has purposes that no one can stop. He will override and outmaneuver and power through our free will to get certain things done. On other matters, his will is far more permissive. He would prefer if we never sinned against one another, but we clearly sin all the time. Therefore, if someone sinned by aborting a baby boy howevermany years ago, God would not have wanted that specific boy to be your spouse or anyone's badly enough to stop it. Which means that if God was stuck on you marrying somebody in spite of that, he would provide that somebody for you, in his timing. And that's an "if" - he may be just leaving that matter to your free will and the free will of other people entirely.

    Yes. Daniel, Paul, and Jesus are three Biblical examples.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2018
  10. Andrew77

    Andrew77 The walking accident Supporter

    +1,218
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Constitution
    I don't believe that G-d created specific people, for specific other people. I just have never understood that concept.

    First because having been single all my life, means that somewhere there is a woman that has been miserable and alone all her life, waiting for me when I haven't been coming for her.

    What a horrific burden to place on people. I don't believe that G-d is like that to us.

    Second, because it means that if one single person, fails to find that one specific magic someone out there, then the entire system falls apart. I was accidentally married Tammy, who was supposed to marry Dan. So Dan married Linda, who was supposed to marry Bob. On and on it goes throughout history. Everyone through out the world, never married the person they were supposed to, all because one person messed up the chain.

    Then you have to ask, what about the pagans? Because they don't believe G-d, and certainly don't listen to him. Does that mean they could be marrying everyone else's designated spouse? And when some of them convert to Christianity, should they all divorce so they can marry their assigned spouse?

    So my answer is this. I think you should find and marry a spouse, if you want a spouse. If not, then stay single. I don't think G-d created one special person, just for you. I think it's about you finding someone that you can do life with, and learning to love them. If that isn't what you want to do, then don't. It's that simple.
     
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