Are Sexual Fantasies a sin?

[J1A1H]

haha nice1!!!

 

[GilgameshJones]

I think many of you are missing the point of the question. The questioner is not fantasizing about “a woman,” he is fantasizing about a fictitious woman, an invention of his imagination. The question then becomes the nature of his fantasies. Are these fantasies within the boundaries of God’s will? Is he fantasizing about making love to a fictitious wife in the committed relationship of marriage or are his fantasies of a darker nature? Are these sessions habitual or infrequent? Are they growing more and more frequent? If so you should refrain from giving into the impulse.

I believe sexual fantasy and masturbation within marriage is a sin, even if you are fantasizing about your wife, if it results in you neglecting your wife in favor of the fantasy. The only exception to this would be if you are away from your wife for long periods of time.

Another thing to consider is are these fantasies taking up much of your time, are you masturbating on a daily basis, are the fantasies growing darker? If the answer to any of these questions is yes then you need to stop.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

I believe it is only ok when you are fantasizing about the person you are married to.

as for whether it is ok to fantasize about cartoon characters, I don't know ,they are not real....

 

[Inkachu]

Do we realize this thread is three years old? I noticed when the OP said "I'm 14" but his stats said he's 17 lol.

 

[The Fire Rises]

Lol, I just noticed that too. I looked back on the very last page of threads and there's one from 1969 or something like that

 

[iambren]

For the record:

Fantasies about sex are not sin.

Sexual thoughts consciously chosen are not sin.


God created us with a brain, with sexuality, and that doesn't go FLIP like a lightbulb the day we marry.

To actively ruminate on a married woman, intensely longing for her such that you would sin to have her---THAT is a mental sin to avoid, for it is lust.

 

[The Fire Rises]

I agree with the last 2 points you made. I'd like to agree with you on the first 2 points, but I'd also like to see some scriptural support for them. (not trying to be snarky or anything, genuinely just asking)

 

[gideon123]

dude - advice from a guy.
Sexual fantasies are normal for people ... and definitely for men.
You can't force yourself to stop fantasizing completely - it won't work.
Just keep it healthy and DON'T get hung up on it.
If you dwell on it for too long - you can get sucked into the inappropriate content business ... which is all about money and exploitation.

So - remember that fantasies are God's way of encouraging you to go out on a date.
Talk to your parents. See when they are OK with you having a girlfriend.
Keep life real - focus on real people!
And remember that "real people" have many qualities ... love, hope, faithfulness, passion, romance, despair, forgiveness, and yes -sex. So there is a balance there

cheers,
Gideon

 

[iambren]

TheFireRises--- an answer.

Matt 5 "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

This is the shotgun verse most often quoted against mb and sexual ideation being a sin. But let us look at that verse:

1 One of the two parties described must be married for the verse to apply. That means if the man and woman are single it DOESN'T apply.

Reason: Jesus wants to nip adultery in the bud; the heart "gone wild" is a threat to an established home with kids, assetts and divorce is a big deal that hurts our lives. The risk of sexual attraction between to non-marrieds is uhh uhh wait for it.....is marriage! The first is death, the second life.

2 Pray tell me, how can a person in the privacy of their room be physically looking on a member of the opposite sex?! Impossible. Our minds are our private domain. There may be times where the Holy Spirit may convict us of dark thoughts of envy, jealousy, anger, and sexual OBSESSION that we must deal with in sanctifying our walk.

3 The "lust" word---Often used as a giant paintbrush to describe every sexual thought a human being could have and must be shameful about. Frankly I respect this argument the least. Our sexuality and our sexual thoughts/feelings are how GOD intrinsically made us. As a daycare worker once told me-children are VERY sexual, children! So to be all repressive over these types of topics, pushing sex deep into the pit of our souls in shame is NOT healthy. Then sex comes out in some twisted,perverted way. Yes, we must strive for a virginal wedding night AND keep true to our wedding vows but I find all this other pseudo-guilt of this thread to be sick.

 

[child630]

Yes, sexual fantasy is a sin. I struggle with this as well. But by the grace of God, I will have victory over this perversion.

 

[The Fire Rises]

TheFireRises--- an answer.

Matt 5 "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

This is the shotgun verse most often quoted against mb and sexual ideation being a sin. But let us look at that verse:

1 One of the two parties described must be married for the verse to apply. That means if the man and woman are single it DOESN'T apply.

Reason: Jesus wants to nip adultery in the bud; the heart "gone wild" is a threat to an established home with kids, assetts and divorce is a big deal that hurts our lives. The risk of sexual attraction between to non-marrieds is uhh uhh wait for it.....is marriage! The first is death, the second life.

2 Pray tell me, how can a person in the privacy of their room be physically looking on a member of the opposite sex?! Impossible. Our minds are our private domain. There may be times where the Holy Spirit may convict us of dark thoughts of envy, jealousy, anger, and sexual OBSESSION that we must deal with in sanctifying our walk.

3 The "lust" word---Often used as a giant paintbrush to describe every sexual thought a human being could have and must be shameful about. Frankly I respect this argument the least. Our sexuality and our sexual thoughts/feelings are how GOD intrinsically made us. As a daycare worker once told me-children are VERY sexual, children! So to be all repressive over these types of topics, pushing sex deep into the pit of our souls in shame is NOT healthy. Then sex comes out in some twisted,perverted way. Yes, we must strive for a virginal wedding night AND keep true to our wedding vows but I find all this other pseudo-guilt of this thread to be sick.

Thanks for the in-depth reply, I appreciate you taking the time.

I agree that's it's probably unhealthy to repress any and all sexual feelings throughout life - or at least, up until marriage. As others have said, it's important to have at least some sort of physical desire for a potential spouse - otherwise, you probably wouldn't want to marry them.

A major reason mb and sexual fantasies get a bad rep, in my opinion, is that for many peole they DO in fact lead to some of the sins you mentioned: envy, anger, adulterous thoughts, sexual obsession. I feel that sexual fantasies are things that can act as a gateway to very dark places. ("can", not necessarily "will") And we all know seductive sin can be. It doesn't take much to ensnare a man/woman in that trap.

As far as I'm aware, there are no biblical verses that specifically address sexual thoughts of unmarried people, or go into much depth about it. My current stance on this, and I guess mb as well, is that we cannot paint it with a broad brush, as you brought up yourself. By this I mean, I do not think it wise to tell every person - "Sure, entertain as many sexual fantasies as you want - whatever satisfies the urge." What may lead to sin for one man may or may not for another. I have no way of knowing, only God knows. So I think this should be based on an individual-basis for each person, not necessarily and end-all, be-all rule that applies to everyone.

For me, personally, I feel that giving in to these urges WILL lead me to sins that I cannot control. This doesn't mean I repress all sexual attractions; I recognize and acknowledge that those attractions ARE there, and will one day play a significant role in any future marriage. But I think that one can live a perfectly happy, healthy life without giving in to every sexual thought that beckons to them, especially when you ask Christ for help. Again, this is just my opinion.

 

[The Fire Rises]

Yes, sexual fantasy is a sin. I struggle with this as well. But by the grace of God, I will have victory over this perversion.

Well, I suppose it's only fair to pose the same question to you as I did to bren:

Any scriptural support for that would be much appreciated

 

[Johnnz]

Well, I suppose it's only fair to pose the same question to you as I did to bren:

Any scriptural support for that would be much appreciated

Wrong lusting in the NT is about deeply wanting something that does not reflect God's standards. It is not primarily a reference to sexual arousal. When Jesus said he earnestly desired to eat the meal with his disciples, 'desire' in the Greek is the same word in Matthew translated 'lust'.

The grammatical construction of Greek text in THAT verse in Matthew implies deliberate intent. That is to be distinguished from mere sexual arousal, which has basic biological and mental elements that result in sexual awareness. Sexual arousal (ie being aware in some way of one's sexuality) is no more immoral than having one's mouth water at the smell and sight of great food when you are hungry. Gluttony is the sin we can associate with food, but that requires unjustified excess. Immorality, sex outside of God's moral principles is a wrong use of one's sexuality. Mere arousal isn't.

John
NZ

 

[child630]

Well, I suppose it's only fair to pose the same question to you as I did to bren:

Any scriptural support for that would be much appreciated

I guess when Jesus if you look at anyone with lust you commit adultery.

 

[iambren]

"I feel that sexual fantasies are things that can act as a gateway to very dark places. "

Yes, I believe that is possible. OTOH, a lot of our thoughts can be usedd as a gateway to evil. In fact I've observed that a lot of what God warns us about sin is the overuse or perverted use of what He has created as whole/wholesome.

I'm older now and my libido has become much easier to tame than times when testosterone was awash in my body. I found sexual imagery as a creative outlet; something I was doing automatically. Probably because God designed males to marry at a younger age (WHOLE separate topic). And mb was a respite from carrying those urges, it was a relief. So I'm GLAD for it.

I grew up as one of 4 brothers and a sister. As Christian brothers we now look back on how hard those days were. My concerns for young men are twofold: 1) that they feel put down with guilt and feel constantly defeated when people tell them sexual thoughts and mb is sin 2) that they would twist their sexuality up so bad in frightful repression.

 

[Johnnz]

I guess when Jesus if you look at anyone with lust you commit adultery.

That's a very common, and sad, extension of something that just is not there in the text. The text in the Greek implies 'looking with the specific intention'. The subject of lust is another man's wife, otherwise 'adultery' has a different meaning apart from a marriage context. The cultural context is an easy, but sanctioned, 'divorce' praticed by some Jewish people at that time.

John
NZ

 

[steamforthis]

That's a very common, and sad, extension of something that just is not there in the text. The text in the Greek implies 'looking with the specific intention'. The subject of lust is another man's wife, otherwise 'adultery' has a different meaning apart from a marriage context. The cultural context is an easy, but sanctioned, 'divorce' praticed by some Jewish people at that time.

John
NZ

Wouldn't that justify inappropriate contentography?

 

[Johnnz]

Wouldn't that justify inappropriate contentography?

Why? That was not what Jesus was addressing anyway.

John
NZ