Are Sexual Fantasies a sin?

[ExaltedReign]

I'm 14 and find myself having more and more of these, they're not about any real person. Sometimes it helps me when I touch to think of these things. For somereason I always imagine being married to a rather attractive looking female, and having relations.

 

[fire flies]

first of all i just want to say it took some guts to post that question:
as far as the answer goes:

I can't give you one. You need to get on your knees and pray to the lord for guidance. sexual stuff is not just a thought like blenders and basketball. It's something chemically hardwired into your brain. It will get more powerful as you get older so, you need to make sure that GOD in the only place you get your answers about that kind of thing. not from you parents, friends or even your pastor. You need to get your answers from your bible and from the still small voice of God.
In the next few years you might be in a position to make your fantasies a reality and you need to be strong in those times. listen to God now and set a boundary that you do not intend to cross. It will give you a reference point for the rest of your life and keep temptation in focus.

I'll be praying for you

 

[Thankful For Grace]

Yes, sexual fantasies are a sin. Not an easy truth, but truth according to the Bible, never-the-less.

I'm 14 and find myself having more and more of these, they're not about any real person. Sometimes it helps me when I touch to think of these things. For somereason I always imagine being married to a rather attractive looking female, and having relations.

 

[Johnnz]

Whether fantasy, imagination, ideas or behaviour its moral virtue depends on what is the focus. If I fantasise about doing something wrong with an intent to actually engage in that thing, sure that is sin. By Tolkien's fantasies involving evil characters are not wrong any more than the bible is wrong because it contains wrong incidents, such as murder or rape.

John
NZ

 

[ExaltedReign]

What about wet dreams and things like that that you can't control?

 

[MyRightEye]

What about wet dreams and things like that that you can't control?

It is hard to imagine what you mean by "and things like that that you can't control" because wet dreams are so unique to the human experience, but speaking only of the known, wet dreams are not a sin.

 

[citizenthom]

What about wet dreams and things like that that you can't control?

There's a pretty clear separation in the Bible between involuntary bodily functions and active lust. The Levitical laws state that when a man has a "discharge," he is ritually unclean, a category of things that happen naturally and usually without conscious thought (women menstruating falls into the same category, for instance). They're a symbol of the imperfection of human experience, but not a "sin."

Coveting someone who is not your wife, on the other hand, is not only a sin, but one of the biggies. The shorthand for that is "lust." This does involve action: instead of letting a natural lustful thought pass, you develop it, dwell on it, and perhaps even act on it, either through masturbation or adultery. This is a sin, period.

There is nothing in Scripture specifically condemning masturbation, and it is possible for a man to bring himself to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] without active lust. This is especially true early in puberty when your anatomy is just beginning to absorb all the changes going on; and for men with high sex drives, that trend can continue later in life. Thus, whether your ejaculations are a result of your natural anatomical reactions or some purposeful lustful act is something only you can really know about yourself.

That said, what you're describing--using lustful thoughts to aid masturbation--is clearly and unambiguously sinful. But like all sins, God stands ready to forgive you for it. Seek His forgiveness, and move on with your life: don't dwell on your sin or be overcome with guilt.

 

[Bootstrap]

Coveting someone who is not your wife, on the other hand, is not only a sin, but one of the biggies. The shorthand for that is "lust." This does involve action: instead of letting a natural lustful thought pass, you develop it, dwell on it, and perhaps even act on it, either through masturbation or adultery. This is a sin, period.

In the original post, he says he's not fantasizing about a real person.

I agree that coveting someone, saying you want them sexually, is what is translated 'lust' in Matthew 5:28 in the King James:

27 ¶Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Or as the NET puts it:

27 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'
28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to desire her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The point is that if actually committing adultery with a woman is sin, then actively desiring to commit adultery is also sin.

But simply having a sex drive and vague fantasies of nobody in particular isn't what is meant here, and I think a lot of guys have inordinate amounts of guilt about things that aren't sin - unless they lead to things that actually are sin. I think it's very important to avoid building that desire to have sex with women who are off limits.

And masturbation is never condemned in Scripture either.

One more thing - at some point, if he starts dating, he's going to find some woman who he really wants. If they are both unmarried, strongly wanting that woman is not sinful either, and I think that's pretty much inevitable. My wife and I managed to stay chaste, but ... well, those desires were very much present, they weren't adulterous, and I don't think there's any reason to feel guilty about having had them. You should desire the person you marry, if you don't desire them, then why would you marry them?

Hope this is clarifying for someone .....

 

[Elvenkind]

You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.
Chinese Proverb

 

[Bootstrap]

You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.
Chinese Proverb

Nice!

I grew up with this one: you can't always keep stray dogs out of your yard, but you can decide not to feed them.

 

[Hakan101]

I'm 14 and find myself having more and more of these, they're not about any real person. Sometimes it helps me when I touch to think of these things. For somereason I always imagine being married to a rather attractive looking female, and having relations.

I would like to say that I think it is good that you at least imagine yourself being married in these fantasies, for God created marriage that we might be pure in our desires and not fall to lust. Other than that, my perspective is very similar to Mr. Bootstrap.

 

[Tommy_S]

Yes they are, Jesus said "Anyone that looks at a woman with lust, has committed adultry in the heart." When you feed these fantasies with masturbation or dwelling on them you are feeding the dragon. If you continue to feed it, it will consume you. If you starve it, it will eventually die. Guard yourself in all areas and stay in scripture. Being someone who had struggled in the same areas for many years I can tell you that eventually when you do get married it will drive a wedge between you and her. Trust me I wish I was a Christian at your age that knew what I know now. I know at your age when my fantasies no longer fulfilled my desires I wanted to go further. I will tell you now you cannot go far enough. It's impossible you will only get crumbs. The only way you can get the whole cake is by holding out for the marriage with the woman God puts in your life. Save yourself in thought and deed for her. Not only will your marriage be stronger but you will bring glory to God. I will pray for you and will tell you one more thing. You have to look at the times you are tempted. Rather than trying to fight off the temptation try avoiding it totally, if you cannot avoid it totally think of something else. Consume your thinking in the Word of God, read your Bible daily, and pray ALOT.

 

[Jpark]

Never mind.

 

[Bootstrap]

Yes they are, Jesus said "Anyone that looks at a woman with lust, has committed adultry in the heart." When you feed these fantasies with masturbation or dwelling on them you are feeding the dragon. If you continue to feed it, it will consume you. If you starve it, it will eventually die. Guard yourself in all areas and stay in scripture. Being someone who had struggled in the same areas for many years I can tell you that eventually when you do get married it will drive a wedge between you and her. Trust me I wish I was a Christian at your age that knew what I know now. I know at your age when my fantasies no longer fulfilled my desires I wanted to go further. I will tell you now you cannot go far enough. It's impossible you will only get crumbs. The only way you can get the whole cake is by holding out for the marriage with the woman God puts in your life. Save yourself in thought and deed for her. Not only will your marriage be stronger but you will bring glory to God. I will pray for you and will tell you one more thing. You have to look at the times you are tempted. Rather than trying to fight off the temptation try avoiding it totally, if you cannot avoid it totally think of something else. Consume your thinking in the Word of God, read your Bible daily, and pray ALOT.

Read the original post.

1. He's not thinking about any particular woman.
2. He's not married.
3. He's 14.

 

[Tommy_S]

Read the original post.

1. He's not thinking about any particular woman.
2. He's not married.
3. He's 14.

It does not matter if it was about a particular woman or not. We cannot create a god to suit us because that is idolatry and if we suit a woman to suit us, even with our mind, that is lust. Adultry/fornication/sexual immorality. What exactly does his age have to do with it anyway? I was rather young when I began with the same kind of fantasies, however as I grew older they got worse. So I am thankful that such a young man is willing to admit this and is questioning it.

 

[Ttery]

Deuteronomy 5:18
"Neither shall you commit adultery."

Adultery is considered Lust.


Lust: Definition

-Noun

1. Intense sexual desire or appetite.

2. Uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.


-Verb (used without object)

1. To have intense sexual desire.




If your Sexual Fantasies fall under this, it IS a sin.

Just be patient and wait to do IT. There is no need to worry about Sex until later.

 

[finaldavid]

Sexual fantasies are natural. Much as its easier to be holier-than-thou on the internet, everyone has them. I don't think you should be ashamed about something that is natural to your human condition. My thoughts on sexual fantasies / masturbation are that the most important thing to concern yourself about is distorting your perception of and approach to those you are attracted to. You should be careful not to start viewing females as sexual objects. That's really important!

 

[J1A1H]

i respect you for bringing up a question like this. I like most people who probably wanted to bring up this kind of question when i was your age never did. But i did pray and that helped me a lot. I never ever thought it would have been a sin but but as david ^^^^^ Put it... Dont view women as sexual objects

 

[ExaltedReign]

I don't view women like sexual objects, they're just what I'm attracted to, I'd be worried if I wasn't.

My American Gov. teacher thinks that women should do what men want because "God made men first" Me and him had an argument in class a couple weeks ago about it. I was sent to the principal's office because I was being disruptive in class. That's why I had a detention on the last day of school.

I thank God I'm not like him.

 

[Johnnz]

Well done.

John
NZ