Are more Millennial christians choosing to stay single for longer?

[Revivalist1992]

I want to start by looking at what the bible says in:
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
Now I have found that (in my circle of friends at least) a much higher percentage of us have chosen to remain single (whether consciously or not) and just focus on learning to love ourselves and learn about God. And I was wondering if this was a more wide spread thing.

 

[ChristIsSovereign]

I want to start by looking at what the bible says in:
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
Now I have found that (in my circle of friends at least) a much higher percentage of us have chosen to remain single (whether consciously or not) and just focus on learning to love ourselves and learn about God. And I was wondering if this was a more wide spread thing.

If it's a widespread thing, praise God. When we are single, we have more time for the LORD.

 

[Revivalist1992]

If it's a widespread thing, praise God. When we are single, we have more time for the LORD.

That's something i have recently started to understand, now I'm not saying that I will remain single forever, i want kids so a husband is kinda necessary for that, but i have noticed a shift in my perspective recently, and the same with a friend of mine. We're no longer focusing on finding a partner, we have a bigger focus on finding God than anything else. I just want to know if others of a similar age are noticing that shift as well.

 

[ChristIsSovereign]

That's something i have recently started to understand, now I'm not saying that I will remain single forever, i want kids so a husband is kinda necessary for that, but i have noticed a shift in my perspective recently, and the same with a friend of mine. We're no longer focusing on finding a partner, we have a bigger focus on finding God than anything else. I just want to know if others of a similar age are noticing that shift as well.

The LORD shall bring a partner to you if and only if it's His will.

 

[Revivalist1992]

The LORD shall bring a partner to you if and only if it's His will.

I agree but it's often a hard thing to understand and accept that God is more important than that, so why, if it's true, is this generation finding it easier to accept than those that came before did?

 

[thecolorsblend]

I want to start by looking at what the bible says in:
1 Corinthians 7:32-35
"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
Now I have found that (in my circle of friends at least) a much higher percentage of us have chosen to remain single (whether consciously or not) and just focus on learning to love ourselves and learn about God. And I was wondering if this was a more wide spread thing.

I don't know very many Millennials who chose to stay single this long. Some did. But the overwhelming majority of them either can't get a date, can't keep a partner, can't find a job, can't get a raise/promotion, certainly can't afford a wedding, don't even get them started on children, etc.

If some of us choose to use the time to better themselves, strengthen their minds, whatever else... well, that says a lot about our generation's optimism. But we shouldn't kid ourselves or anyone else; most of us had no choice in the matter whatsoever.

 

[Zango11]

I’ve noticed that as well in my church and friend group. It is good to have more time to devote to God and seeing others coming to faith but I read a book recently that challenged my views on this. I read ‘Just do something’ by Kevin DeYoung, it’s a book about finding God’s will (I highly recommend) and he says young people nowadays spend too much time trying to discover God’s will and are less inclined to make decisions for themselves so nothing gets done ie they don’t pick a job to follow or get married until they’re much much older as they’re constantly searching for God’s will and he questions if that’s neccessarily a good thing. (Paraphrasing here and he goes into a lot more detail, also haven’t actually finished the book so not sure of the conclusion lol)

But it’s made me think as young people, do we spend too much time avoiding major life decisions and pass it off as ‘well it must be God’s will’ and continue to meander when we could be progressing in a Godly relationship leading to a Godly marriage which would be equally as beneficial to the church. Is definitely something I think about.

 

[Revivalist1992]

I’ve noticed that as well in my church and friend group. It is good to have more time to devote to God and seeing others coming to faith but I read a book recently that challenged my views on this. I read ‘Just do something’ by Kevin DeYoung, it’s a book about finding God’s will (I highly recommend) and he says young people nowadays spend too much time trying to discover God’s will and are less inclined to make decisions for themselves so nothing gets done ie they don’t pick a job to follow or get married until they’re much much older as they’re constantly searching for God’s will and he questions if that’s neccessarily a good thing. (Paraphrasing here and he goes into a lot more detail, also haven’t actually finished the book so not sure of the conclusion lol)

But it’s made me think as young people, do we spend too much time avoiding major life decisions and pass it off as ‘well it must be God’s will’ and continue to meander when we could be progressing in a Godly relationship leading to a Godly marriage which would be equally as beneficial to the church. Is definitely something I think about.

I haven't noticed an aversion to making big decisions so much. My single friends and I are dedicating time to our jobs (them on their careers, me on finding a job in the field I love), three of my single friends are studying theology at University, I myself have started a blog about faith and am just generally trying to learn more of the scripture. What I have noticed is a change in priorities. Finding a partner no longer seems to be a priority, instead they're prioritising focusing on living life with God. It's interesting to watch young people who were once so desperate for romantic relationships change their priorities

 

[Zango11]

I haven't noticed an aversion to making big decisions so much. My single friends and I are dedicating time to our jobs (them on their careers, me on finding a job in the field I love), three of my single friends are studying theology at University, I myself have started a blog about faith and am just generally trying to learn more of the scripture. What I have noticed is a change in priorities. Finding a partner no longer seems to be a priority, instead they're prioritising focusing on living life with God. It's interesting to watch young people who were once so desperate for romantic relationships change their priorities

That’s good to hear! Most of my friends are still in uni so can’t really speak from experience but it is good to see a shift in priorities. Also implies when people do get married it’ll be for the right reasons!

 

[RDKirk]

I don't know very many Millennials who chose to stay single this long. Some did. But the overwhelming majority of them either can't get a date, can't keep a partner, can't find a job, can't get a raise/promotion, certainly can't afford a wedding, don't even get them started on children, etc.

If some of us choose to use the time to better themselves, strengthen their minds, whatever else... well, that says a lot about our generation's optimism. But we shouldn't kid ourselves or anyone else; most of us had no choice in the matter whatsoever.

I agree with this. My Millennial daughter got married at 30 (this will be their first anniversary), and that was certainly not her desire.

Many Millennials, not just Christians, have put off marriage for the reasons you state. That's not a good thing, because for most people it has meant "burning" in forced abstinence, not having the gift of celibacy. And too many have not been able to withstand the temptation.

My daughter's problem had been finding the right Christian man. Once she did, we encouraged them to marry as soon as they could swing it with as much help from us as we could muster. We're also willing to provide them help as necessary (provided they were fully engaged themselves).

But I think that is going to be the economic future for the working class from now on--which is actually a return to the pre-WWII style of life: Family generations will have to work together, sharing wealth and capabilities, rather than each generation doing its own thing and consuming all its own wealth.

 

[RDKirk]

The LORD shall bring a partner to you if and only if it's His will.

Your partner is not going to drop down the chimney like Santa Claus. Where in scripture did the Lord drop anyone's partner into their lap? Isaac? Jacob? Ruth?

 

[thecolorsblend]

My daughter's problem had been finding the right Christian man.

I can only imagine, friend. They can't be very easy to find.

Once she did, we encouraged them to marry as soon as they could swing it with as much help from us as we could muster. We're also willing to provide them help as necessary (provided they were fully engaged themselves).

Good on you. The cult of single motherhood that America is turning into basically puts no expectation on children for marriage and Millennials, as a group, have really suffered under that. I can't shake the idea that the reason so many of my generational cohort support "same-sex marriage" is because a lot of us grew up in broken homes and think that any kind of stability is better than what we had to live with.

But I think that is going to be the economic future for the working class from now on--which is actually a return to the pre-WWII style of life: Family generations will have to work together, sharing wealth and capabilities,

I don't see that as a bad thing. As you say, after the war it became more common to see two-generation households (eg, parents and children) than it had been. Prior to the war, the norm was three generations or maybe even four in some cases. That was considered perfectly normal, even desirable. Society worked back then. We're not allowed to say why it doesn't work anymore but it for sure doesn't work anymore.

rather than each generation doing its own thing and consuming all its own wealth.

Like Generation Draft Dodge did?

 

[com7fy8]

Finding a partner no longer seems to be a priority, instead they're prioritising focusing on living life with God.

Possibly, you are more involved with others who are like yourself. We can tend to find and connect with ones like our own selves.

It's interesting to watch young people who were once so desperate for romantic relationships change their priorities

Also possibly . . . there now may not be the culture of pushing the younger ones to get married, like there used to be.

There is a lot of independence. And ones are relating more with electronics, versus having real-life sharing and relating and family.

 

[RDKirk]

I can only imagine, friend. They can't be very easy to find.

Good on you. The cult of single motherhood that America is turning into basically puts no expectation on children for marriage and Millennials, as a group, have really suffered under that. I can't shake the idea that the reason so many of my generational cohort support "same-sex marriage" is because a lot of us grew up in broken homes and think that any kind of stability is better than what we had to live with.

I don't see that as a bad thing. As you say, after the war it became more common to see two-generation households (eg, parents and children) than it had been. Prior to the war, the norm was three generations or maybe even four in some cases. That was considered perfectly normal, even desirable. Society worked back then. We're not allowed to say why it doesn't work anymore but it for sure doesn't work anymore.

Like Generation Draft Dodge did?

My generation in America had the unique position of being born into a nation that was had indisputable global economic superiority. The United States had bombed Germany and Japan into the 19th century. The USSR was only barely into the 20th century (and its Communist command economy would keep it there, and China was still in the 18th century (and its crazy Maoism would keep it there). Every major industrial product was "Made in the USA." It was a unique period in the history of mankind.

But it ended in the late 1960s when Germany and Japan finally caught up. Most people are unaware of the fancy economic footwork it took to keep Americans from realizing the party was over. Nixon took the dollar off the gold standard and propped it with the OPEC "petrodollar" deal (which is the reason the US has troops in the Middle East today). The silent crumbling value of their husband's labor pushed millions of women took into the job market--which is what made the second wave of Feminism a working-class woman's issue when it had before been limited to the female elite. If it had not been for wives entering the labor market in the 70s, the Great Recession would have happened in the 70s.

As it was, the 70s was the Great Economic Malaise, which was blamed on President Carter, but the truth is that it had begun in the late 60s and Carter did not dance as nimbly as Nixon to keep people from seeing it.

But if you look at the studies of real wages over the past half century, they all note that the value of a hour of labor has not increase since the 70s.