Are guys clueless at picking up "signals"?

sweetmercy · May 1, 2006

So, I'm wondering if guys are really as clueless as people say when it comes to picking up signals from girls. I've always heard that guys are no good at figuring out when a girl is flirting with them. If that's true, just how obvious do I need to be to let a guy know that I'm interested? I don't want to embarrass myself by going over the top, but I also don't want to be too subtle. So, men, what would a girl have to do to let you know that she likes you?

Thanks!

Jen

mwb · May 1, 2006

We are clueless most of the time.

But if a guy is going to make the first move with a girl, he has to like her. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much she likes him.

Mark2010 · May 2, 2006

Yeah, we are pretty clueless. Especially if we have been rejected a few times.

The best way to let a guy know you like him is to just come out and say it straight up. He will usually be stunned and very appreciative.

Llauralin · May 2, 2006

How's that work? "I like you, do you like me?" That sounds like an enormous oppertinity for me to land my foot very firmly in my mouth.

shinbits · May 2, 2006

mwb said:
We are clueless most of the time.

But if a guy is going to make the first move with a girl, he has to like her. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much she likes him.

Bingo. If a chick is droppin signals and he doesn't respond, then it's not that he doesn't pick up the signals, it's that he just doesn't like her.

Llauralin · May 2, 2006

As one who is every bit as clueless as any guy - what kind of signals are we talking about here?

Irascible · May 2, 2006

sweetmercy said:
I've always heard that guys are no good at figuring out when a girl is flirting with them. If that's true, just how obvious do I need to be to let a guy know that I'm interested? I don't want to embarrass myself by going over the top, but I also don't want to be too subtle.

This certainly may not apply to you. But it seems to me that flirting comes before people really know each other well. In some cases it seems to me people could spare themselves a lot of this angst if they just get to know a person on a friendship level and leave the romance out o it for a while.

shinbits said:
If a chick is droppin signals and he doesn't respond, then it's not that he doesn't pick up the signals, it's that he just doesn't like her.

I'll have to disagree with you there. If she sat on my lap and planted a wet one, I'd assume she got me confused with someone else rather than assume it was a signal.

sherri · May 2, 2006

Irascible said:
I'll have to disagree with you there. If she sat on my lap and planted a wet one, I'd assume she got me confused with someone else rather than assume it was a signal.

You're kidding me

jhollas · May 2, 2006

We are so very, very clueless!

Bunnymedic · May 2, 2006

Personally,I don't think most guys are clueless.Yes,some may need a more obvious signal than others,but like already said,if you drop a hint and he likes you,he will persue you too.....if not,then he's not interested.If you are concerned he may be in the 'clueless' category,drop him a 'clue' and see what happens.(ie...flirt with him!)

TwistedLogic · May 2, 2006

Sometimes we're clueless. I think for the most part if there's a girl who we want to pick up signals from then we'll notice. But if it's a girl we don't know/aren't interested in we'll probably miss them unless you're blunt. Sometimes too, guys are too shy to act on the signals once they pick up on them, so you have to work with that too.

As for how being blunt works...I'd say that usually it doesn't. The best thing to do is become good frineds with the guy you've taken a liking to and work up to telling him you like him. In this case since you're friends he hopefully likes you too (no not in a romantic way but in a friendly way) and it'll go over better. Also, as friends rejection won't be taken as hard by either of you and you'll stay friends.

I'm out of time now, but I may add more later.

silentpoet · May 2, 2006

I prefer a neon sign myself. I have been known to not notice less than that. It is an area I am planning on working on. Body language is not something I read real well. I have some other areas I am working on, but reading body language and subtle signs is moderately down on the list. I have to work on conquering some other areas where I hold myself back.

OhhJim · May 2, 2006

Some guys ARE clueless, it's true. Some are not.

If a woman is interested in a man, one of the best ways to get things started is to talk to one of his friends, and indicate that you find him to be "interesting", or "kinda cute". Nothing major, nothing scary. Or have one of your friends talk to him. Or one of your friends talks to one of his friends, etc.

If he doesn't have friends, you shouldn't be dating him, anyway.

Weasel7711 · May 2, 2006

I know I am clueless, but I think I have been getting better.

intricatic · May 2, 2006

sweetmercy said:
Are guys clueless at picking up "signals"?

Answer:

Yes.

renaistre · May 2, 2006

It's not that we don't notice the signals, it's just that we often don't know what the signals mean.

Llauralin · May 2, 2006

renaistre said:
It's not that we don't notice the signals, it's just that we often don't know what the signals mean.

I"m actually in favour of having a "signal interpretation cheat sheet" - I'm betting it'd be different for every girl.

For instance:
Girl rarely talks in your presence, blushes profusely, and avoids eye contact.

Girl A: Thinks you're pretty creepy, and you make her really uncomfortable.

Girl B: Really likes you, but is to shy to say anything.

Girl C: Is interested in another guy, and you happen to only see her when he's there too.

Girl D: Is ashamed to be seen in your company.

Are guy signals like that as well?

Linnis · May 2, 2006

My husband does not get signals or hints. He will remind me when I sometimes forget and hint around something. He's like say it to me straight otherwise I most likely won't get it.

Most men I know do not like signals and don't understand why women use them.

musicman21 · May 2, 2006

I for one feel I am horrible at picking of signals. I'd prefer that a woman just come out and tell me how she feels.

Beauty4Ashes · May 2, 2006

Llauralin said:
I"m actually in favour of having a "signal interpretation cheat sheet" - I'm betting it'd be different for every girl.

For instance:
Girl rarely talks in your presence, blushes profusely, and avoids eye contact.

Girl A: Thinks you're pretty creepy, and you make her really uncomfortable.

Girl B: Really likes you, but is to shy to say anything.

Girl C: Is interested in another guy, and you happen to only see her when he's there too.

Girl D: Is ashamed to be seen in your company.

Are guy signals like that as well?

lol..thats great

Are guys clueless at picking up "signals"?

sweetmercy

Guest

Senior Veteran

Well-Known Member

Senior Veteran

Well-Known Member

Senior Veteran

garrulous, loquacious, occasionally multiloquent

Well-Known Member

Christian Soldier

I'm in love with a Weasel

Active Member

Contributor

Often wrong, but never in doubt

I'm in love with a bunnymedic!

...a dinosaur... or something...

The mountains are calling...

Senior Veteran

Legend

Active Member

All that I need, is a song in my heart. . .

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency