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Are Christian women easier to talk to?

Discussion in 'Young Adults' started by Andrew98, May 6, 2020.

  1. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    I’m in my twenties and never approached a girl in my life and obviously never kissed a girl either. I’ve no self confidence and so I always worried about a girl laughing at me if I tried to speak to her. If that happened I don’t think I’d ever try again. Are Christian women generally more approachable?
     
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  2. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    I watch Adrian gee videos on YouTube sometimes and he always talks to people with no problem. But he has confidence and I don’t so I think if I talked to a woman I’d look weird.
     
  3. Unofficial Reverand Alex

    Unofficial Reverand Alex Look up Jason Evert on YouTube; he changed my life Angels Team Supporter

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    I don't know if things are different in Poland than in my part of the US. I'm Polish by heritage, but I've never been to the "Old Country", as we call the home country of my ancestors. However, I too am a male in my twenties, so hopefully my advice will be relevant!:pray:

    Personally, I haven't found a difference in religion for how easy it is to talk to girls, except for one thing. The key factor is how much religion means to both of you. Devout Christians tend to enjoy hearing about other people's faith experiences; asking for prayers can be a great way to start such a conversation. Bible studies, small Church groups, anything with a religious connotation will give you & a Christian girl a great starting point for conversation. I have a friend who's not even Christian, but he uses religion as a starting point for conversations with some of my female friends. He understands that it's something people like to talk about, if it means a lot to them.

    I'm sure you've heard this before, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. Starting a religious conversation is a great way to get to know someone, but don't think past that. Once you start thinking about a girl in a romantic context, things get a lot more complicated. If you just talk, even just asking how her day went, that can be a good start. This is a process; you will have some good days & some bad days, but overall, just remember to keep improving.

    Oh, and trust in God...this was the key for how I started talking to girls when I first went to college. A short prayer when you see a girl can give you a lot more courage, even if it doesn't feel like it.

    Peace out, God bless, watch out for sharks!:pray:
     
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  4. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    How did Jason every change your life?
     
  5. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    :) How I came to Jesus.

    I followed a cute girl to church one sunday. Her father was the Pastor.
    It was Easter. He preached on the Lordship and Savior Jesus Christ.

    His basic sermon was we are all human and as such have sinned or broke some of God's laws and thus became a sinner.

    He spoke on I Cor 15 and other scriptures to show us what Jesus did for us --- making it possible to approach God the Father through Jesus.

    He asked those of us who did not have a relationship with Jesus to come forward to repent or turn away from our sins and ask Jesus into our life.

    After Jesus comes into your life there is a process know as Sanctification which simply means becoming more like Jesus everyday. It has taken me four decades to get where I am now.

    Here are the texts:

    1 Corinthians 15 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
    The Good News About Jesus Christ
    15 Now, brothers and sisters, I want you to remember the Good News I told you. You received that Good News message, and you continue to base your life on it. 2 That Good News, the message you heard from me, is God’s way to save you. But you must continue believing it. If you don’t, you believed for nothing.

    3 I gave you the message that I received. I told you the most important truths: that Christ died for our sins, as the Scriptures say; 4 that he was buried and was raised to life on the third day, as the Scriptures say; 5 and that he appeared to Peter and then to the twelve apostles. 6 After that Christ appeared to more than 500 other believers at the same time. Most of them are still living today, but some have died.

    The sermon may have been similar to this this below:

    "
    There are certain points we all need to understand about the heart of the Good News of Christ.

    First, all are sinners and stand under the judgment of God. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23, NIV). We might believe that we are good enough to win God’s favor or that we can perform certain religious acts to counterbalance our bad deeds. But the Bible states that we are all condemned, for “there is no one righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10, NIV).

    Second, we need to understand what Christ has done to make our salvation possible. God loves us, and Christ came to make forgiveness and salvation possible. What did He do? He died on the cross as the complete sacrifice for our sins. He took upon Himself the judgment that we deserve.

    Third, we need to respond to God’s work. God in His grace offers us the gift of eternal life. But like any gift, it becomes ours only when we take it.

    We must repent of our sins. Repentance carries with it the idea of confession, sorrow, turning and changing. We cannot ask forgiveness over and over again for our sins and then return to those sins, expecting God to forgive us. We must turn from our practice of sin as best we know how, and turn by faith to Christ as our Lord and Savior. “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9, NIV). Christ invites us to come to Him, and God has promised, “to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12, NIV).

    Fourth, we must understand the cost of coming to Christ and following Christ. Jesus constantly called upon those who would follow Him to count the cost. A person must determine to leave his sins behind and turn from them. Some people may be unwilling to do so. And there may be other costs as well when we decide to follow Christ. In some cultures, a person who turns to Christ may be disowned by family, alienated from social life, imprisoned or even killed.

    The ultimate cost of true discipleship is the cost of renouncing self: self-will, self-plans, self-motivations. Christ is to be Lord of our lives. Jesus declared, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23, NIV). Jesus does not call us to a life of selfish comfort and ease–He calls us to a battle! He calls us to give up our own plans and to follow Him without reserve–even to death.

    Yes, it costs to follow Christ. But it also costs not to follow Christ. It cost the Apostle Paul the prestige of a high-level position in the Jewish nation. But he declared, “whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things” (Philippians 3:7-8, NIV). Christ calls men and women not only to trust Him as Savior, but also to follow Him as Lord.



    Fifth, salvation is intimately linked to the cross. The man who hung there between two thieves was without sin. His virgin birth, by the miraculous intervention of the Holy Spirit, meant that He did not inherit a sinful human nature. Neither did He commit any sin during His lifetime. Mary gave birth to the only perfect child. He became the only perfect man. As such, He was uniquely qualified to put into action God’s plan of salvation for mankind.

    Why was Calvary’s cross so special, so different from hundreds of other crosses used for Roman executions? It was because on that cross Jesus suffered the punishment for sin that we all deserve. He was our Substitute. He suffered the judgment and condemnation of death that our sinful nature and deeds deserve. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21, NIV).

    Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2, NIV). Paul knew there was a built-in power in the cross and the resurrection.

    I remember a meeting early in my ministry when I walked away from where I was preaching, disheartened and disappointed. A businessman who was with me asked me if I knew what was wrong. I couldn’t put my finger on it until he told me. “Billy,” he said, “you didn’t preach the cross!”



    He was right. The message had been theologically sound, and I had preached it as best I knew how. But that vital ingredient was missing. I learned my lesson. From that day to this, I have never preached an evangelistic message without pointing the listeners to the cross.

    Finally, faith is essential for salvation. But we must be absolutely clear on what we mean when we speak of “salvation by faith.” There are various kinds of belief or faith, and not all are linked to salvation. In the New Testament, faith means more than intellectual belief. It involves trust and commitment. I may say that I believe a bridge will hold my weight. But I really believe it only when I commit myself to it and walk across it. Saving faith involves an act of commitment and trust, in which I commit my life to Jesus Christ and trust Him alone as my Savior and Lord."

    Have You Heard the Good News of Salvation?
     
  6. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for this information. One other thing. How does believing actually save you? Is this what God decided would be the way into heaven? What is it about believing that does this? Also why did Jesus have to die for our sins. Was there no other way?
     
  7. Unofficial Reverand Alex

    Unofficial Reverand Alex Look up Jason Evert on YouTube; he changed my life Angels Team Supporter

    +2,363
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    Jason Evert has quite a few talks and books about relationships. This was what brought me to Christ. I have always been Christian, born and raised Catholic, but it never really meant much to me until a few years ago. Ever since my high school break up, which was disastrous, I had been very lonely and looking for a new girlfriend. Shortly after coming to college, I became so lonely I literally could not move. So I decided, no, I realized, that I really need a God's help to do any of this. That's when the dating advice I looked up started to be Christian dating advice, and I joined my university's Christian campus house and Catholic group as good places to meet girls.

    Jason evert has a lot of great talks out there, but the thing about him that really resonated with me was his flipbook, Theology of his body/Theology of her body. I have kind of struggled with gender confusion before, but it was through reading this and learning about the theology of the body that I really understood what it meant to be male. This opened up so many possibilities, and was so good for my mental health. I'm not sure if I can describe this so well, so much as you have to experience it. He also has a great short book known as Pure Manhood; if you have a Kindle, it's only a dollar.
     
  8. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    I just checked his videos out. I don’t know if it’s for me to be honest. I just want to like a girl and her to like me back. Then we can become really good friends and be together forever. I don’t like the idea of hunting around for years and trying with many womens. Sorry.
     
  9. Unofficial Reverand Alex

    Unofficial Reverand Alex Look up Jason Evert on YouTube; he changed my life Angels Team Supporter

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    That's all right, he's not for everyone. It's just that his talks about relationships really resonated with me, so I thought they might be helpful for other people, too.
     
  10. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    How to get girl to like you?
     
  11. thehehe

    thehehe Well-Known Member

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    As a Christian girl (Catholic) myself, I have to tell you that each time a guy comes to me in order to get a girlfriend, I immediately rebuff him. Because I expect in a person, and mostly in a Christian one, guy or girl, to see a potential friend in me, someone who could bring something to his/her soul. I expect for this someone to see the Christ in me, and to get to know me because he/she had the ability to recognize God in someone else.
    All I want to tell you is that girls will be much easier to talk to if you gently see what they are, and I mean children of God, rather than asking them to give you value by dating you. No one will laugh at you if you do. You have to stop worrying about you and start worrying about what are others looking for, this way you won't be so terrified of looking weird. And looking for a potential girlfriend in any girl you meet won't help you to have a real talk with the female gender.

    And I'll simply add that yes, as said before, talking about religion adds quickly depth to any kind of relationship and that yes, my friends from student years are deeply religious people - because talking about God and what He means to each one of us simply unveils the deepest part of our hearts. We unveil what is the most vulnerable, emotional part of ourselves - so yes, our relationships go much deeper than most of the time.

    Somehow, still, a male friend once told me that it was much easier to have a meaningful conversation with girls than boys because girls are not afraid of this vulnerability - he said we, girls, were amazed by it and that he felt so much more comfortable seeing how gently we accepted his weaknesses. But it was only his point, I don't know how true it was.
     
  12. agapelove

    agapelove Well-Known Member

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    Well I think we are pretty great. :)

    It sounds like you are trying to kindle a relationship with God and I think that is really great. That is the first and most important relationship you need to establish. I think a small-group or fellowship/ministry at a church would be a great place to start. You can meet people there and become more confident in your faith and who you are as a person.

    See everyone first as a friend and not a potential partner and reeeeelaaaax. :)
     
  13. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all for this advice. I need to start speaking and being friends with people first. You are right.
     
  14. F.E.A.R.

    F.E.A.R. Lord Inquisitor

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    IDK how you're on terms with male friends, but if you want to gain self confidence, you should start getting to know female friends first (I'm not saying you should then start hitting on your female friends). Just talking, it's that simple. Trying to get a girlfriend straight without experience isn't gonna work. Even if you do have pure intentions with a girl, hitting on her isn't gonna work, since women in general get asked (or should I say get hit on) a lot more than guys, so you have a high chance of getting rejected, but good women in general always give a guy a chance. You should watch this video.

    IDK about your life and the way you've grown up, but the problem with today's guys is their parents, especially their mothers, not teaching them or giving advice when they were young. Either because they have no interest in it or mainly because in a lot of families, talking about dating (and even sex) is still a taboo. I was in this boat. I mean, my parents in never taught about anything, always by myself, the only one I always have is God.

    I myself, in my first years in school, started to play with girls, but a lot of things happened which I can't talk about, I distanced myself from women in general, not until in school I started open up slowly and talking to female friends I had. I suggest you watch this video:

     
  15. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    We have exactly the same families. I was never even given “the talk” when I was growing up except when I asked my mother what it is and she explained in about one sentence. Girlfriends have never been brought up and growing up, the way my parents acted I would never have been able to talk to them about this as they’re so closed. I’d never be able to talk about girls or girlfriends without feeling really embarrassed so I never bothered.
    Unlike you however I’ve never even tried approaching a girl. I’ve really low self-confidence as I don’t think I’m good enough for anyone - I genuinely believe no girls like me.
     
  16. F.E.A.R.

    F.E.A.R. Lord Inquisitor

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    It's normal to be embarrassed because you never had any experience. You should try getting to know some girls through your friends. Try to be normal as much as you can, don't act someone you're not. I'm sure your friends can help you in this situation, by lying that you have social anxiety and it's tough for you to be around people that you don't know, so you're tying to overcome this fear of yours. I mean you can't just straight out say that you've never talked to a girl before, that's why you and your friends should lie about your situation. I don't know you in person, but if me and my friend were close, we would've helped you as much as we could.
     
  17. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    I don’t think it’s right to lie. Also I don’t really have any close friends anymore.
     
  18. F.E.A.R.

    F.E.A.R. Lord Inquisitor

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    OK you're right, lying is a bad idea, maybe it will be best if you think about how to tell them why you don't have much friends, but don't tell them that your parents did this to you the way you are ATM.

    I don't know how people are in Poland but I'm guessing they're more open. You should try going out and making new friends or try to reach out some of your old friends maybe they still like to hang out with you some times. And try to make new friends while you're with your old friends.
     
  19. thehehe

    thehehe Well-Known Member

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    In any case, you should not expect any girl to heal your wounds - no one can, and if you think so, you're expecting too much from them. A relationship is not a miraculous answer to all struggles.
     
  20. Andrew98

    Andrew98 Well-Known Member

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    Je ne pense pas qu’une petite amie m’aidera me sentir bien et heureux. C’est que je me sens souvent solitaire et je pense qu’en avoir une m’aiderait sortir de ma coquille.

    J’ai appris le français à l’école un peu :)
     
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