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Anybody have experience with Complex PTSD?

BeachBabe87

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My fiance seems to have a problem where he turns into dr jeckyl and mr hyde and I've spoken with a counselor who has mentioned Complex PTSD. Which is different than normal PTSD. Does anyone have any experience dealing with someone who has this.

Note: this is not just normal PTSD, but a different type of PTSD (as defined on Wikipedia)
 

TurtleAnne

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Yes, I have almost 30 years of experience with it.

I know that you can find all sorts of resources online that explain mechanisms like dissociation, hypervigliance and so on, so please let me say this above all else:

No matter what, we are ultimately responsible for managing our symptoms such that we do not abuse others. There may be times early on in life when we have moments that we don't expect and which scare us half to death, but then it is our responsibility to do something about it. Not to wallow in it, not to ignore it, not to embrace it, not to excuse it. And we are 100% capable of this, of managing our symptoms. Perhaps not curing ourselves, or getting rid of our struggles, and healing can take a very long time.

But we are 100% capable of learning to manage our symptoms so that we do not abuse others. There are no excuses.

Be very careful not to get invested in someone who makes the choice not to take on that responsibility. If I remember right, I think I saw in another thread that you were considering marriage with this man? Again, be very careful.

Very damaged people can be very good and loving people, just like anyone else.

But likewise, very damaged people can be very selfish and dangerous people, also like anyone else.

Quality of character =/= Mental health - These are two separate factors. But some manipulative people would have you believe otherwise, so love and respect yourself.
 
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faroukfarouk

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My fiance seems to have a problem where he turns into dr jeckyl and mr hyde and I've spoken with a counselor who has mentioned Complex PTSD. Which is different than normal PTSD. Does anyone have any experience dealing with someone who has this.

Note: this is not just normal PTSD, but a different type of PTSD (as defined on Wikipedia)
These are serious issues, particularly if you say he is not a Christian either.
Sounds like he needs to sort his health drastically; also to sort by God's grace his relationship with God.
 
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faroukfarouk

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Yes, I have almost 30 years of experience with it.

I know that you can find all sorts of resources online that explain mechanisms like dissociation, hypervigliance and so on, so please let me say this above all else:

No matter what, we are ultimately responsible for managing our symptoms such that we do not abuse others. There may be times early on in life when we have moments that we don't expect and which scare us half to death, but then it is our responsibility to do something about it. Not to wallow in it, not to ignore it, not to embrace it, not to excuse it. And we are 100% capable of this, of managing our symptoms. Perhaps not curing ourselves, or getting rid of our struggles, and healing can take a very long time.

But we are 100% capable of learning to manage our symptoms so that we do not abuse others. There are no excuses.

Be very careful not to get invested in someone who makes the choice not to take on that responsibility. If I remember right, I think I saw in another thread that you were considering marriage with this man? Again, be very careful.

Very damaged people can be very good and loving people, just like anyone else.

But likewise, very damaged people can be very selfish and dangerous people, also like anyone else.

Quality of character =/= Mental health - These are two separate factors. But some manipulative people would have you believe otherwise, so love and respect yourself.
Some good comments here, IMHO. I would agree with a lot of what you say.
 
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Paidiske

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Hhmm. I have some experience with complex PTSD, and part of that experience tells me to be wary of diagnosis by a counsellor (especially if it's not his counsellor but yours, hearing about him second hand).

If you think this is a possibility, and it would be helpful to him to be able to work through it constructively, I'd suggest getting him to an appropriate specialist for proper review and diagnosis as a starting point.
 
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BeachBabe87

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He won't go to a counselor and denies there's a problem. It's like dr jeckyl and mr hyde. I had wondered if it was bipolar or narcissism or even BPD but none fit, until I found out about Complex PTSD and I can confirm this is what he has. Everything lines up 100%.
 
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Catherineanne

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He won't go to a counselor and denies there's a problem. It's like dr jeckyl and mr hyde. I had wondered if it was bipolar or narcissism or even BPD but none fit, until I found out about Complex PTSD and I can confirm this is what he has. Everything lines up 100%.

In spite of what 'lines up' only a proper accredited doctor can actually diagnose any medical condition. And they don't do it by checking Wikipedia.

I have Complex PTSD. I am also dissociative, and have alters. (Both of these were diagnosed by qualified doctors.)

Check out literature on Dissociative Identity Disorder and see how much of it is familiar to you:

Dissociative Identity Disorder Information - First Person Plural

I can't say for certain that your fiance is the same, but it is a possibility. He would need proper assessment by a trauma specialist.

If he refuses to get assessed I would think very seriously about marrying him. Neither CPTSD nor DDs are trivial conditions, and they may well cause problems in your future relationship if not addressed.
 
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Snarky1

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I can only speak from my personal experience not only struggling with CPTSD but being around others who also struggle with it. Like with other issues, depression, anxiety, addiction etc... the first step is admitting there is a problem. If your partner wont admit that there is a problem until he does, there most likely won't be any change. No matter what you do, no matter how much you love him it wont be enough because there is damage that needs to be dealt with. Recovery from trauma is a long, and difficult process, it's not something that happens over night and for me at least I'm sure it will be life long. I agree with the above post, in order to get an accurate diagnosis it should be done by a professional, but regardless of that, if you are concerned about his behavior that might be a red flag you shouldn't ignore.
 
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