Any unusual situations experienced at church because you're female?

[Paidiske]

That'd have me leaving, honestly. That's ridiculous.

 

[bekkilyn]

No. But if the family is not coming around in a year or 2 we start to get suggestions to see a urologist to fix our “problem.”

Yikes! Hopefully not from strangers in the grocery stores though!

 

[bekkilyn]

How about being told after tithing faithfully, that YOU are not allowed to vote on the budget

cause you're not the head of your household

but your a single woman

and YOU are the head of the house!

Apparently my money is all good, yep

But I cant even say how the money is used

at my own church

I have to agree with the others. Time to find a new church.

 

[AnnaDeborah]

So who is the head of your household then?!!!

 

[JCFantasy23]

We were married in the summer and at our first Christmas a few months later, I was given a plastic diaper pail as one of my gifts from a church member.

Wow that's awful, why were they so obsessed with your decision on when and if to have children?? Creepy.

 

[High Fidelity]

I suppose one question to ask the ladies in the thread in light of yesterday's ordeal with a Bishop groping a female celebrity at a funeral of all places... is that something that's common?

I can't tell if he's so incredibly stupid to think he'd get away with it or so emboldened by unchallenged experience to not care?

It was pretty awkward to watch and I feel so sorry for her. You could see how uncomfortable she was.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I suppose one question to ask the ladies in the thread in light of yesterday's ordeal with a Bishop groping a female celebrity at a funeral of all places... is that something that's common?

I can't tell if he's so incredibly stupid to think he'd get away with it or so emboldened by unchallenged experience to not care?

It was pretty awkward to watch and I feel so sorry for her. You could see how uncomfortable she was.

While my story was nothing like that, I did post early in the thread that I felt groped when I tried a church as a teenager, and the adults thought it was "cute" because they liked the kid doing it. My mother and I were horrified and never went back

I read an article about nuns last week having to deal with a lot of abuse because of their station and the power held over them. Apparently some were used to fulfill sexual sins because they were known to be pure and unlikely to spread disease for the deed. Awful!
https://www.voanews.com/a/nuns-break-silence-over-years-of-abuse/4504592.html

 

[High Fidelity]

While my story was nothing like that, I did post early in the thread that I felt groped when I tried a church as a teenager, and the adults thought it was "cute" because they liked the kid doing it. My mother and I were horrified and never went back

I read an article about nuns last week having to deal with a lot of abuse because of their station and the power held over them. Apparently some were used to fulfill sexual sins because they were known to be pure and unlikely to spread disease for the deed. Awful!
https://www.voanews.com/a/nuns-break-silence-over-years-of-abuse/4504592.html

That's awful on both counts

I think it can be quite dangerous given the environment it occurs in. How many Pastors have been caught and appeal to their congregation for forgiveness, prayer and mercy? That doesn't give the abused any justice and, frankly, is wholly unacceptable.

A lot of those in ministry hide behind religiosity and exploit the conscience of congregants to skirt responsibility. Such a shame.

 

[Dave-W]

That's awful on both counts

I could not agree more. How horrible.

 

[Dave-W]

How many Pastors have been caught and appeal to their congregation for forgiveness, prayer and mercy?

That is such a self serving idea. It has little to do with God’s justice or the Hebraic culture that gave rise to the church.

THe ONLY one who can give forgiveness is the one who was wronged. Biblically forgiveness is described in economic terms, as in the forgiving of a debt. If I am a pastor and I owe someone $10,000, can I ask the congregation to declare me debt free without paying that person? Of course not. That is NOT how it works.

 

[Runswithdogs]

When I was about to get married and move to a different country (so closing my buisness) one woman ask me “ so youll be having kids right away then?
When I said “nope, We dont want kids.”
She then proceded to scold me and tell me that I would change my mind and id better pop out a bunch of babys asap cause otherwards I wouldent be able to keep a man (the implication being that the man would only stay “for the children”) and how would I support myself then?

16 years later... no kids, still happily married, im the main breadwinner, hubby works for me in my buisness.... and she can go eat worms

 

[Paidiske]

I suppose one question to ask the ladies in the thread in light of yesterday's ordeal with a Bishop groping a female celebrity at a funeral of all places... is that something that's common?

Say what?! At a funeral? Gross on so many levels.

I haven't been groped at church. I've had the odd occasion where I suspect I might have been if I hadn't been quite so quick to physically move.

 

[teresa]

id better pop out a bunch of babys asap c

yuk! so many bizarro women needing to know what you are doing with your lady bits

so, so, creepy

 

[teresa]

how about when you're a teen and lots of women at church chide you in the bathroom about whether or not you've got your first period yet?

why is what goes on between womens legs so fascinating?

why are my body fluids, body parts or internal organs your business?!

 

[FireDragon76]

When I was about to get married and move to a different country (so closing my buisness) one woman ask me “ so youll be having kids right away then?
When I said “nope, We dont want kids.”
She then proceded to scold me and tell me that I would change my mind and id better pop out a bunch of babys asap cause otherwards I wouldent be able to keep a man (the implication being that the man would only stay “for the children”) and how would I support myself then?

People with non-traditional or egalitarian relationships seem to still be fair game for judgmental attitudes, despite the supposed advances of feminism and LGBT rights. What's worse is that I have heard about this sort of treatment from otherwise educated people.

 

[Paidiske]

I can't remember if I've told this story on CF before, but my husband and I belong to different churches, and always have.

When we got back from our honeymoon, we each went the next Sunday to our own church... and on the way out the door, the vicar bailed me up and said, "I realise we might lose you, Paidiske, but now that you're married you need to be worshipping under your husband's headship!"

Well, they lost me... to another parish that didn't try to tell me that!

 

[High Fidelity]

Say what?! At a funeral? Gross on so many levels.

I haven't been groped at church. I've had the odd occasion where I suspect I might have been if I hadn't been quite so quick to physically move.

 

[bekkilyn]

People with non-traditional or egalitarian relationships seem to still be fair game for judgmental attitudes, despite the supposed advances of feminism and LGBT rights. What's worse is that I have heard about this sort of treatment from otherwise educated people.

It's like they believe that God himself designed and approves of bigotry, discrimination, and prejudice which very clearly does a great deal of harm to people, and then promotes those evils as if coming from God. Many hold these beliefs out of ignorance, believing these faulty scriptural interpretations that are promoted (and only seem to be getting worse), but it's a very wicked thing and definitely a sign of our present evil age.

 

[FireDragon76]

It's like they believe that God himself designed and approves of bigotry, discrimination, and prejudice which very clearly does a great deal of harm to people, and then promotes those evils as if coming from God. Many hold these beliefs out of ignorance, believing these faulty scriptural interpretations that are promoted (and only seem to be getting worse), but it's a very wicked thing and definitely a sign of our present evil age.

Actually, I was not referring specifically to Christians, but to the wider US culture. It's still very conventional at times. Men are expected to be breadwinners, and any other marriage or long-term intimate relationship is judged in light of that.

 

[AnnaDeborah]

I suppose one question to ask the ladies in the thread in light of yesterday's ordeal with a Bishop groping a female celebrity at a funeral of all places... is that something that's common?

I can't tell if he's so incredibly stupid to think he'd get away with it or so emboldened by unchallenged experience to not care?

It was pretty awkward to watch and I feel so sorry for her. You could see how uncomfortable she was.

I've only ever encountered that level of inappropriate behaviour once from a minister, but it's very common from other men in church, judging by my own experiences in many churches over the years. One guy at a local Anglican church had a real reputation - I didn't go to that church, but he was a real pest at any united services - you always had to watch where he was. But get this - the last time he tried that on me, I jabbed him in the stomach really hard with my elbow...and three older women nearby told me I should apologise to him for my 'overreaction'. I wonder if women would have to experience so much of this type of behaviour if so many older ladies didn't have the 'just deal with it dear; it's part of being a woman' attitude.