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any men on here?

Discussion in 'Anxiety, Panic & Agoraphobia' started by Rbob, Mar 1, 2008.

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  1. Rbob

    Rbob Junior Member

    27
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    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    I am new on here. I am up in the middle of the night because of panic or anxiety waking me in the middle of the night (again). I am beginnng to get help again, I have never stuck with it not wanting meds, but this is hard for me to understand. I have fought depression and mental doubts (spiritual, feelings or unreality) all my life, am easily hyped, and have lived a very stressed life, it is now catching up. In the last year I have been to the emergency room several times, thinking a heart attack or something worse, several tests of all kinds. Prognosis is anxiety, panic, and I know depression. I have functioned ok on the outside, but always a terrible battle inward. Now I wake at night, short of breath, thinking I am losing it, facial numbness,hard to consentrate, foggy, etc. My hardest battle is where is the Lord? I know Him, I am in and have been various ministrys and live my life fully with my whole heart for the Lord. The dissapointment kills me. I watched my mother live and die addicted to pills and drinking-I feared and stayed away from that. Now I am almost forced to take meds, and have been fighting that over the years. I am getting worse, it is on and off but more frequent. I tried Zoloft for almost a week, the side effects were to much and I only had a half a pill and had to stop. I was given Zanex several months ago, and hardly use it, only a half pill on several occasions this past week. I hate the thought of pills, I beleive God heals, yet I am faced with this dsiparity of who I believe God is, and the reality of this tormenting situation. I feel like I am loosing control and my mind will just keep going down. Several other symptoms have developed recently, waves of dred or just depression come over me and change my mood in an instant. I have tried all the self help books on my own. I have sought prayer for healing, I feel desparate and just can't understand what is happening. I am not in any sin, unforgiveness, rebellion, etc. I know the word and the promises, that seems to be the hardest thing for me right now. My wife is no help, she is the biggest sorce of stress aside from my job. I only say that becasue no one knows me here, and I am not tring to put her down in any way. I love her but just being honest. Lfe is a continual up hill battle and I feel like I am losing right now. I need to try to go back to sleep if I can, I am rambing on, just venting. If there are any men out there I would appreciate a responce, from anyone would be ok.
    God bless, Bob
    (What I meant was it looked like mostly women posting on this topic, I just was wondering if any other men had these issues. I wasn't tring to limit any responces from a women-any help appreciated.)
     
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  2. JoeJoe83

    JoeJoe83 Regular Member

    271
    +9
    Christian
    Single
    I know EXACTLY what you feel. I got so dizzy to night from anxiety I almost passed out.

    My brain was literally sore from thinking so much.

    I'm trying SO HARD to believe. I'm scared that if I go to a mental health professional the Lord will be angry with me like I didn't trust He would heal me. I feel like either way I go I lose. Religion confuses me and scares me so much. Before I was frustrated with religion, it was always something else. Fear of some disaster or illness. Always something. =(

    YOU'RE NOT ALONE. My thoughts are with you.
     
  3. Rbob

    Rbob Junior Member

    27
    +10
    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    Thanks for the responce Joe Joe. Although I am struggling big time right now, I still know God is in control and will not walk away from the only One who matters. (I may not "feel" like it is true right now, but in my heart I know it is)
    This is just such a parodox and hard to understand, but we are not alone, reading others having simular problems in one way helps-like you are not isolated and the only one who suffers these things.
    On one hand I feel so helpless, but on the other I am thankfull that I am saved, and never would want to cause any discouragement to others.
    Hang in there, I don't have any other answer right now, I can't even figure out my own problem, but I will pray for you my brother. God bless, Bob
     
  4. Inkachu

    Inkachu Bursting with fruit flavor!

    +3,724
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    Hi JoeJoe and Rbob, :wave:

    I'm very glad the two of you are here. Rbob, my struggle is VERY similar to yours. I also wonder "where is God? He's able to help me, why isn't He?" I wonder that a lot, and it can make me very sad. I try to speak the truth in the face of those times, that God loves me, He is my healer, He's with me, even when I FEEL like He's ignoring me and doesn't care about me. Sometimes I just sit at night in the dark and cry my eyes out, telling myself that He is with me and He loves me even though I feel completely alone and abandoned. My panic is always worse at night, too. I think that's pretty common, because it's dark and quiet and most of the world is sleeping peacefully and it just makes us feel even more alone.

    Anyway...I know I'm a girl, but I hope you will stay and continue to share with us. Trust me, we girls wish there were more men here! :thumbsup:
     
  5. Inkachu

    Inkachu Bursting with fruit flavor!

    +3,724
    Christian
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    Sorry, I forgot to address one other point: I resisted going to my doctor or seeking any kind of "secular" help for months, because I was stubborn and determined that God would heal me miraculously. Well, I finally got to the point where I couldn't face life anymore, and I did go to my Dr. However, the antidepressants gave me side effects, just like you said Rbob...I had to stop taking them almost immediately. I also have Xanax for emergencies, but thankfully I don't need it often. I wanted to find a Christian therapist, but there aren't any in my area, so I'm sort of just stuck trying to make it through this phase of my life with just me and God and the prayers of friends and family. There are a lot of Christians who will tell you that if you seek therapy or take meds, you aren't trusting God, and I honestly think that's ridiculous. You don't tell people with cancer not to take chemo because it means their faith is weak. Sometimes, people need doctors. Even Jesus said that in the Bible, "The healthy don't need a doctor, the sick do".

    Hope I'm not rambling too much. God bless!
     
  6. Rbob

    Rbob Junior Member

    27
    +10
    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    Thanks Silver - I thought today about another low time like this many years back. The Lord did bring me through-I must beleive He will again, not only me but all that are His. God bless.
     
  7. wonderous

    wonderous Member

    236
    +4
    Anglican
    Single
    I have gone through a lot. I've been suffering from panic attacks for 1.5 years already and it's starting to leave me right now! I know how it feels to 'lose' so much in life! But that's looking from a carnal perspective. God can use satan's work and do an even greater work! There's a reason why things are happening right now! I was feeling as dreadful as you only 5 days ago and a miracle happened to me and some relatives prayed for me a lot happened last week and now I feel extremely liberated!

    If you need to talk or vent certain issues I would gladly help! Add my MSN! God bless you!
     
  8. Inkachu

    Inkachu Bursting with fruit flavor!

    +3,724
    Christian
    Married
    US-Others
    Great to hear, Wonderous! I also have had many people pray with and over me, and I know God is listening and working behind the scenes. I'm trying to pray for everybody here, even though I don't know all of you personally. Depression and anxiety are crippling, and they are spreading like crazy among people, and it's heartbreaking. We need to fight back with all we've got, cause this isn't what God wants for us.

    Everybody keep your chin up!
     
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