Anxious rn can't sleep

[Angeleyes7715]

Financial issues have me panicking rn. I cried today over money. Cried and panicked because I feel like I can't get out of this rut. I can't do it in my own strength though I guess.

B/c it seems like the more I work or harder or more I make the more is taken away. The more the government takes or debt collectors. I feel forever trapped.

And I cry and cry cause it's just I know I hate my job and Im very antisocial and socially anxious and it's mentally draining to be stuck 8 hours in a place with people I don't really care to know in a place I don't want to be doing stuff I hate pretty much most of my life and then not ever make enough to be free.

I'm so scared and tired of this life. This life isn't good.

 

[Zoii]

Financial issues have me panicking rn. I cried today over money. Cried and panicked because I feel like I can't get out of this rut. I can't do it in my own strength though I guess.

B/c it seems like the more I work or harder or more I make the more is taken away. The more the government takes or debt collectors. I feel forever trapped.

And I cry and cry cause it's just I know I hate my job and Im very antisocial and socially anxious and it's mentally draining to be stuck 8 hours in a place with people I don't really care to know in a place I don't want to be doing stuff I hate pretty much most of my life and then not ever make enough to be free.

I'm so scared and tired of this life. This life isn't good.

So sorry to hear it. Is there a career that you could aim for to move forward. Does getting re-qualified help?

 

[mukk_in]

Financial issues have me panicking rn. I cried today over money. Cried and panicked because I feel like I can't get out of this rut. I can't do it in my own strength though I guess.

B/c it seems like the more I work or harder or more I make the more is taken away. The more the government takes or debt collectors. I feel forever trapped.

And I cry and cry cause it's just I know I hate my job and Im very antisocial and socially anxious and it's mentally draining to be stuck 8 hours in a place with people I don't really care to know in a place I don't want to be doing stuff I hate pretty much most of my life and then not ever make enough to be free.

I'm so scared and tired of this life. This life isn't good.

It might help if you saw your job not just as a source of income but as a chance to be a witness unto the Lord. Re-training to obtain an advanced diploma may also bump up your pay and give you better bargaining power at the current or a different job. Universities offer part-time and long distance education programs. Early retirement may be appealing but working to a full retirement will maximize your social security and other retirement benefits. I have enough to retire now but plan on working for another 17 years till 65. Cutting down on discretionary spending and using that for debt reduction will also help in the long run. Hold one or two credit cards and shred the rest. Saving $25 a month for retirement can do wonders long term. Hope that helps. There's plenty of wisdom in Proverbs. God bless .

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I feel you .. I'm only getting 12 hours at one job and 15 at another...and when I do my budget it makes me frustrated too.... the only thing that saves me from being depressed is the fact I'm in school and close to being in my program (meaning; this won't last forever)

 

[Angeleyes7715]

I mean I have a biochemistry bachelor's degree and I'm self studying programming and taught myself languages so in on the right track there I guess. And I make a $19/hr salary at my current call center job and the work is semi challenging cause I basically do part of the pharmacists job. I process claims, I do coverage determinations on medications, I even so accounting
-__- cause our accounting department is non existent. And I'm a licensed pharm tech but still it's like I'm still very down.

Part of it is I got swindled $3000 on a bad car deal and then this year I found out even though I made less because I filed multiple W2s I don't get a refund I actually owe and it feels like they already take so much out of my check. Now I'm scared to ever change jobs or to make more cause the government just takes it away.

But about the job stuff.... It's like no matter what I never feel comfortable around a group of other people. I have two girls at my job who have been really snotty and catty to me for jealousy reasons, then I have the trainer who accidentally marked me 6 min. Late when I was 5 min. early ( he corrected it but still it was after I got a write up and it causes a whole ordeal),
then there's the fact that everyone seems super loud and competitive social and the trainer likes to announce who finishes first or has the best scores, I'm an introvert, quiet, shy, and it's just I feel miserable around people like this. I feel like the oddball out. I'm an INTJ personality so I know I'm kinda weird but I really just don't like being around people. So that's a big part of my problem. Coworkers eat lunch together I feel like they eye me and joke behind my back because I don't and it's like I've always hated eating with other people.



Then there's the sitting all day..... and the fact that I'm trying to write a book series, study code, and paint, also spend time with my bf and family, and my job takes my time away from me.
I just feel like a slave and stuck with people I don't want to see.

Just when I walk into work I want to cry. It doesn't feel like a different job would help cause it's like I always feel trapped. I'm gonna try to work remote and see if that helps but lately I've been a frequent job hopper cause I don't feel comfortable anywhere always this horrible anxiety and dread of seeing co-workers. The odd thing is I don't have a problem working with the public I actually like them. It's just co-workers and bosses I don't like. And it's only because I'm paid to see them and I'm stuck there everyday.

For example Friday they had a potluck. Normal people would enjoy this. Me, I despised it. I spent part of my time hiding in the bathroom. The rest of the time I spent trying to fake smile like I cared what ppl were talking about. I wanted to leave cause the two girls kept flicking their hair and laughing snottily. I was the first one back at my desk, I preferred working over spending time with coworkers. The one girl even told me she could tell I'm not a talker.

:/ I feel like such a loner. This has been the story of my entire life. Always running from ppl, being left out, not getting along with ppl.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I mean I have a biochemistry bachelor's degree and I'm self studying programming and taught myself languages so in on the right track there I guess. And I make a $19/hr salary at my current call center job and the work is semi challenging cause I basically do part of the pharmacists job. I process claims, I do coverage determinations on medications, I even so accounting
-__- cause our accounting department is non existent. And I'm a licensed pharm tech but still it's like I'm still very down.

Part of it is I got swindled $3000 on a bad car deal and then this year I found out even though I made less because I filed multiple W2s I don't get a refund I actually owe and it feels like they already take so much out of my check. Now I'm scared to ever change jobs or to make more cause the government just takes it away.

But about the job stuff.... It's like no matter what I never feel comfortable around a group of other people. I have two girls at my job who have been really snotty and catty to me for jealousy reasons, then I have the trainer who accidentally marked me 6 min. Late when I was 5 min. early ( he corrected it but still it was after I got a write up and it causes a whole ordeal),
then there's the fact that everyone seems super loud and competitive social and the trainer likes to announce who finishes first or has the best scores, I'm an introvert, quiet, shy, and it's just I feel miserable around people like this. I feel like the oddball out. I'm an INTJ personality so I know I'm kinda weird but I really just don't like being around people. So that's a big part of my problem. Coworkers eat lunch together I feel like they eye me and joke behind my back because I don't and it's like I've always hated eating with other people.



Then there's the sitting all day..... and the fact that I'm trying to write a book series, study code, and paint, also spend time with my bf and family, and my job takes my time away from me.
I just feel like a slave and stuck with people I don't want to see.

Just when I walk into work I want to cry. It doesn't feel like a different job would help cause it's like I always feel trapped. I'm gonna try to work remote and see if that helps but lately I've been a frequent job hopper cause I don't feel comfortable anywhere always this horrible anxiety and dread of seeing co-workers. The odd thing is I don't have a problem working with the public I actually like them. It's just co-workers and bosses I don't like. And it's only because I'm paid to see them and I'm stuck there everyday.

For example Friday they had a potluck. Normal people would enjoy this. Me, I despised it. I spent part of my time hiding in the bathroom. The rest of the time I spent trying to fake smile like I cared what ppl were talking about. I wanted to leave cause the two girls kept flicking their hair and laughing snottily. I was the first one back at my desk, I preferred working over spending time with coworkers. The one girl even told me she could tell I'm not a talker.

:/ I feel like such a loner. This has been the story of my entire life. Always running from ppl, being left out, not getting along with ppl.

I'm sorry you have crazy coworkers..that does make things more difficult. I don't care to interact with my coworkers at my second job .... all I can sauy is just hang in there girl! its all you can do. But atleast you've been working on your hobbies.. I haven't at all... just been planning financially,work wise and for school... I almost forgot about my dream lol..but I'm gonna try and set time aside like get up early or stay up later to work on my comics...its hard when youre juggling so much. I need to make a schedule.

 

[Babe Ruth]

AngelEyes,.. hi.
In your post, you mention that you spend a lot of your day sitting.. I would recommend regular exercise. Exercise helps release stress & anxiety. It also may improve bad sleep (you referenced in thread title)..
I understand it may be hard to schedule, but if your mental health is at stake, exercise can be vital.
Just my thoughts, based on my experience.. I'm rooting for you. Peace~