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Anxiety is Killing Me

Discussion in 'Anxiety, Panic & Agoraphobia' started by DannyKing, Aug 31, 2016.

  1. John Davidson

    John Davidson Well-Known Member

    +552
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    DannyKing,
    There were some events that triggered my fear. It started about 5 months ago when I began having spasms in my body. Next, I learned that my blood pressure was really high. After that my heart began racing a lot. Now I am on medication for my blood pressure and to slow my heart rate. With all of those issues began my fears. The next thing that went wrong was that the eye doctor told me I may have glaucoma.

    I am not seeing a counselor and I am not on medication for anxiety. But I spend every day terrified of death.

    This verse kind of helped me: Isaiah 26:3-4
     
  2. kodadog1024

    kodadog1024 Well-Known Member

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    Yea Danny! That's awesome. "But the thought of having to wait for another 6 months to see what the marker does is really disconcerting." I feel that same way about seeing my cardiologist Danny every 6 months. Even though everything is ok with me, I still worry that he'll say I'll need open-heart surgery or my heart is really bad (even though my heart is fine). It's a HUGE trigger for me and my anxiety/Intrusive thoughts. Just so you know you are NOT the only one who gets feeling like this. BUT, I've been thinking about you for days now and checking this forum to see how your tests came out. So, awesome news man. Sounds like you need to adjust a few things in your life up (to relieve the stress).
     
  3. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    My wife has a colleague whose husband went through an experience strikingly similar to yours last year. He had high blood pressure and an eye problem (not sure if it was glaucoma). This guy practically lives in a gym and is really fit. He became terrified of death for 4 months before seeing a doctor and was prescribed with an anti-depressant. Five weeks later, all his fears and anxiety melted away and he went back to his normal life.

    It's important for us to make a distinction between normal anxiety which comes and goes away and an anxiety disorder which comes and stays. Anxiety disorders and depression are illnesses and like all illnesses, they need to be diagnosed and treated. While it is excellent that we, children of God, turn to Scripture for strength and comfort, illnesses require more than reading the Bible.

    I urge you, John, to seriously consider seeking professional help. Five months is a long time to suffer. I believe it isn't the disease that produces this fear. After all, hypertension and glaucoma are very common conditions and easily treated with medication. These diseases make us face our mortality and remove us from our cozy state of denial about death. I often wish I could return to that denial state.
     
  4. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    My brother, I'm always touched by your love, kindness and concern. Thank you also for sharing your struggles. I wish I knew a believer in real life who could be so open. I feel so lonely in church when I see everyone putting on smiles and talking in such a spirited manner. I'm sure many are suffering but they carefully hide it away. I suppose that's considered being civil and polite.
     
  5. kodadog1024

    kodadog1024 Well-Known Member

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  6. John Davidson

    John Davidson Well-Known Member

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    Not really. I am on a lot of medication and my blood pressure still goes really high sometimes. And glaucoma causes blindness. I have been getting tons of red veins in my eyes. They look really bad. And my heart still beats fast sometimes even though I am on medication. So this is no walk in the park. It's only normal to have anxiety at this point in my life with my health declining. I don't think medication would solve the problem.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2016
  7. kodadog1024

    kodadog1024 Well-Known Member

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    Hey John, I have High BP too. It's been 199 over 155. What is yours? What medicine are you on for your BP? I recently started walking/jogging about 5 times a week. I'm up to about 1.3-1.5 miles per morning. I still don't have the guts to take by BP at home yet (it's been about a month now). I bought a BP cuff machine but I would get soooo worked up before taking it, it was always around 188-190 over 150. Then my anxiety/worry and panic would set in. So I'm waiting to loose some serious weight (I was 340+ at 6'-2.5"). Hoping to get down to 300 before November 15th (next cardiac doc appt.). ANYWAYS, you are not alone at least in the BP worry part.
     
  8. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    The reason your blood pressure cannot be controlled by the medication is because your anxiety is driving it up. If the anxiety is under control, your blood pressure will be easily regulated.

    Glaucoma is only a problem if left untreated. My sister-in-law is an ophthalmologist and she is very concerned when glaucoma is undetected. I have bloodshot eyes too. My ophthalmologist tells me it's because my eyes are too dry. Eye drops are all that's needed.

    I really think you're in reasonably good health. All your conditions are easily controlled by the wonders of medical science. Take everything in stride and express your worries to your doctor and he will reassure you.
     
  9. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    It's really good to hear that you are exercising. Not only is exercise good for our bodies, it makes us feel calmer and happier too. Just don't forget that to lose weight, you need to pay attention to your diet as well. Too many people gorge themselves thinking that exercise alone will atone for all their excesses. My wife has a colleague who is overweight and joined a gym to lose weight. After each session, he would enjoy a hefty meal as a form of self-reward. After some time, he was surprised that his weight was going up!

    I encourage you to measure your blood pressure yourself. The way to do it is to measure it multiple times. I always get a high reading the first time because I'm all tense. The second reading will be lower and the third and subsequent readings will be the lowest. Those are the readings you should pay attention to.
     
  10. John Davidson

    John Davidson Well-Known Member

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    I wish everything was that simple unfortunately it isn't.

    High blood pressure is caused by problems with the heart or circulatory system.

    I have heart problems. My heart beats too fast. I'm on medication to slow it down.

    Glaucoma is the number one cause of blindness.

    I use eye drops but still my eyes grow more bloodshot everyday. There are many possible causes of bloodshot eyes not just dry eye.

    I'm not in good health. I can barely feel my pulses anymore. I am dying.
     
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2016
  11. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    I cannot believe it has been a year since my anxiety started. And it has not gone away. But the fear and anxiety had been coming down.

    The problem is that now my fear is ramping up again. This is because my next follow-up test is on March 27, just 10 days away! I am so afraid my tumor marker has gone up again. Please pray for me. I really need help!
     
  12. look4hope

    look4hope Love.Fellowship.Joy Supporter

    +1,344
    Lutheran
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    Late to this but I wanted to offer my prayers, dear sir.
    Reading all the advice and kind words by the other members...is a great reminder.

    Keep us posted.

    I want to add that I absolutely agree with this paragraph--
     
  13. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    Thank you very much. May our Lord bless you.
     
  14. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    Some time ago, a woman at my church (who used to be a missionary in Mongolia for 12 years) told me that the reason for my fear and anxiety was because I lacked trust in the Lord. I was very hurt then when she said that. But is it not true? Why do I fear cancer and death so much if I truly trust in the Lord of Life?

    My counselor asked me a similar question more than once, though in a more probing, less accusatory way. She said that our strong emotions told us something about ourselves. She asked me to explore possible reasons as to why death terrifies me so much. Could it be because I did not believe in an afterlife?

    I find her question very disturbing. I have for decades believed in Christ and the Bible. I used to even teach the Bible and lead Bible study groups. Even now, I study the Bible daily and attend a cell group.

    One serious problem that I have with questions like this is that, in my state of anxiety, they always seem to lead me to doubt my salvation. This, when added to all my other problems, makes me feel like I'm losing my sanity.

    Please let me know what you think, my dear brothers and sisters.
     
  15. Far Side Of the Moon

    Far Side Of the Moon " The moon is high& the stars are aligned" :)

    +2,865
    United States
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    I have major issues with anxiety.... I know I lack trust majorly. , so those people were spot on.
     
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