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Anxiety is Killing Me

Discussion in 'Anxiety, Panic & Agoraphobia' started by DannyKing, Aug 31, 2016.

  1. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    In late February of this year, my father-in-law died of cancer. A couple of weeks after that, my prostate tumor marker (PSA) was found to have risen by quite a bit. Further tests showed that I had a 93% chance of having prostate cancer. This frightened me terribly, so I went for a prostate biopsy.

    It took 6 days for the results to come out and I cannot begin to explain to you how I passed those 6 days. Anyway, the biopsy found no cancer cells. You would think that this would fill me with relief and thanksgiving but it wasn't the end of my ordeal. The urologist told me that even though the 12 biopsy samples showed no trace of cancer, because the samples were randomly taken, he could have missed the cancer. He asked me to wait for 6 months before retesting. If the tumor marker continues to rise, it would be a concern.

    My hellish 6-day wait had been extended to an even more nightmarish 6-month wait! Now the 6 months are drawing to a close. I am scheduled for follow-up tests on September 21. I have been suffering from fear, anxiety and worries for more than 5 months. I have done everything I can think of - prayer, Bible study, professional counseling, self-help books but nothing seems to work. The only thing I haven't tried is medication.

    I feel that God has deserted and abandoned me. I call out to Him but He has been very silent. It troubles me greatly that He does not spare His people from serious diseases. I believe in Him but how do I trust Him?
     
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  2. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    Firstly, I want to say, I'm sorry for the loss of your Father.

    the best advice I can give is to just never give up faith in God, it may seem like he's being silent, but He hears you, and will answer.
    I know it isn't easy, infact it's one of the hardest things you can do, I feel.
    God will answer you, keep praying. He knows what's best for you.
    And if the test results come back positive, don't let that discourage you, it's hard to understand why God would let something like that happen. God puts us through trials, and through these trials we must remain true to our faith.
    God would never abandon you.
    I think http://www.gotquestions.org/trials-tribulations.html is a good answer to your question. also http://www.gty.org/resources/questi...does-god-seem-so-distant-when-i-need-him-most
    I hope I helped shed light on your problem
     
  3. JesusIsTheeFaith

    JesusIsTheeFaith New Member

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    I'm sorry to hear about your situation brother but please know that God does care about you and loves you very much. Don't let the devil deceive and feel you with doubt.

    I have been going through anxiety/panic disorder for the past 5 years and I have had my moments of doubt, some worse then others but I never lost hope completely and that's because God's love and concern for me/us.

    “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”
    ‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬

    God will never leave you or forget you. It's us, his children, that choose to leave or even worse, forget him.

    I encourage you to study 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7-10. It helped me to understand how important accepting our issues and current circumstances are. See, I found myself praying for a "cure" this whole time, not even realizing that God is the cure. I was praying for the wrong thing for my own selfish desires. I just wanted to get better so I could go live MY life again, eventually putting God 2nd AGAIN. What I am now learning, is to not ask God for a cure to my anxiety, rather, ask for help to accept it and teach me how to live with it so I may move forward for HIM. If God wants to use my issues for HIS GLORY, then Amen and I am confident that he will heal me of my anxiety and anyone else who puts their trust in him, in HIS time!

    By casting all your care upon him (1 Peter 5:7) and trusting that he has your best interest, you will be able to start experiencing his peace and comfort along with having the desire to serve him however you've been called to serve.

    I will keep you in prayer brother and encourage you to spend some time in Gods Word today.

    Take care and Godspeed!
     
  4. kodadog1024

    kodadog1024 Well-Known Member

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    sometimes God shouts like a roaring tidal wave, other times it's in our deepest darkest silence that we can hear Him the best, a quiet whisper that tells us to stay calm. "I've got this". And it's in those moments, our weakest moments we find His true strength and mercy. Praying for you Danny.
     
  5. LionL

    LionL Believer in God, doubter of religion

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    We all must die - each and every one; even some innocent children.
     
  6. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    Thank you, brother, for your kind response. I really appreciate it and thank God for you.

    Doesn't it bother you that the Bible tells us we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us (Rom 8:37), and yet we are left grovelling in the mud in fear and trembling? Why are Satan's assaults so powerful and visible? I know we must glorify God with our thoughts and words and I say this with reluctance but don't you think God's love is far less visible than Satan's wrath?
     
  7. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    Thank you for your prayers. I need and crave badly all the help I can get. I often feel this trial I am going through is too great for me to bear. I suppose I am weak and unprepared for it. But often, I feel my mental state and faith are at the point of shattering.

    In March, one day before I had to go see the doctor to get my biopsy results when I was going insane with fear, I went to see the pastors at my church because I simply did not know how to pass the day on my own. I spent two hours with the Youth Pastor talking mostly about theology, which was a nice distraction. Then I went to see the Senior Pastor. When I told him everything I was going through, he just said, "You are going through an awful trial." It was amazing how much those simple words meant to me. Instead of dismissing my fear and telling me that everyone must suffer and die, he showed compassion and understanding.

    Lots of Christians have come to me to tell me to have more more faith, to pray more, to trust more. Such platitudes are very unhelpful. I have been praying more than I ever have in my entire life. And how am I supposed to have more faith and trust more when that very faith is under such ferocious assault I barely can hold on?
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2016
  8. kodadog1024

    kodadog1024 Well-Known Member

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    I read this earlier this week and I cried a bit, because I know I am weak, BUT, through MY weakness, I will find HIS strength, which is far greater than mine (or yours)... "Grow strong in your weakness. Some of my children I've gifted with abundant strength and stamina. Others, like YOU, have received the humble gift of frailty. Your fragility is NOT a punishment, NOR does it indicate lack of faith. On the contrary, weak ones like you MUST live by faith, depending on Me to get you through the day. I am developing your ability to trust Me, to lean on Me, rather on YOUR understanding. Your natural preference is to plan out your day, knowing what will happen when. MY preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting ME to guide you and strengthen you as needed. THIS is how you grow strong in your weakness."
     
  9. kodadog1024

    kodadog1024 Well-Known Member

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    Hey Danny, these songs are for you. They helped me draw close to the Lord and I hope they do for you as well. // , and

    "Be still and know that I am God" – Psalm 46:10 "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit." – Psalm 34:18
     
  10. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    Hey, kodadog1024, the message you quoted reminds me of this:
    reliability-of-god.jpg
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2016
  11. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    Thank you for the songs. You are very kind.
     
  12. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    I really like that quote by CS Lewis. I keep it on my phone and look at it rather regularly. The words "The time will come when you will regard all this misery as a small price to pay for having been brought to that dependence" mean a lot to me. They give my suffering meaning and fill me with hope.

    The problem is that I live in constant fear. Fear drives out trust. Trust seems like such a fleeting and fragile thing while fear is unbelievably robust.
     
  13. JesusIsTheeFaith

    JesusIsTheeFaith New Member

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    Amen and Praise God for all the encouraging replys to your post!

    Let me start off by saying that Rom 8:37 is one of my favorite verses. To be a conqueror is an amazing achievement but God says that we are MORE than conquerors!!! Wow! No words to express how grateful I am to know that God loves us that much. Incredible!!

    Did you have a chance to study 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 yet? If not, I encourage you to. If anyone knew about anxiety, it was the Apostle Paul. In those verses, he says:

    “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
    ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:7-10‬

    Paul described something that sounded like physical pain to me. "A thorn in the flesh," that doesn't sound pleasing. In fact, he put it this way, "the messenger of Satan to buffet me." The greek meaning of the word buffet is: to strike with the fist. Paul said the pain he felt was as if Satan sent someone to punch him extremely hard. You could see why he would ask God 3 times to remove the pain, yet God simply said, no, "My grace is sufficient for you," I'M enough for you to endure, you have all you need, just Trust Me. He continues with, "My strength is made perfect in weakness."

    God did not call the strong, referring to the pridful man, nor can he use the strong because they feel they can do everything themselves, ultimately having no use for God. That's why God called the weak, because they will be the ones to cry out to God and will learn how important it is to rely on God DAILY. Unlike the prideful man, the humble at heart begins to understand that in this life, he cannot do it alone, but it is God who carries him through each day. God uses our weakness to humble us, which in return makes Him stronger in us. Paul understood that and prasied God for that. He was willing to be content with the pain if it was "for Christ's sake," if it was going to bring God Glory and further His kingdom.

    It's all part of His plan for our lifes, to bring us into a deeper relationship with Him, to grow us, to use us for His perfect will.

    “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
    ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬

    “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.”
    ‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:4‬

    I will continue to keep you in prayer and I encourage you to meditate on His word daily and pray throughout the day, especially when you're feeling anxious. Ask Him to help you accept what your going through and teach you to live with it so that you can move forward doing His will!
     
  14. Far Side Of the Moon

    Far Side Of the Moon " The moon is high& the stars are aligned" :)

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    It did for me, you can just look at my previous threads... It bothered me I was done wrong by a church leader and they're enjoying their life while I'm scuffling...but a friend showed me a FB video it explained scientifically that God was real ( I already knew..but I looked anyway) and one part really took me back. It was an experiment they did with rice and snow flake crystals...they spoke negative and positively over them... The negatively spoken over ones , the rice molded..it was blacker than its counter part...the crystals just look like someone slashed through it with a knife..

    But what sealed the deal for me was looking at my favorite speaker Priscilla shirer and she had a guest who was a neuroscientist...she had clips of the brain and what happened when you thought positive or negative thoughts....do you know the negative thoughts created a black spot that looked like the moldy black rice..

    It was then that I really believed life and death truly are in the tongue..i mean if rice...RICE! Is responding and lining up with God's word...you know this is truth..

    Another thing that has helped me to stop asking why is to understand God is sovereign.... I could never do what God does nor will I care for people the god can or love him the way he does....God is god and not me... So I have to trust and will .

    I hope this helps
     
  15. Far Side Of the Moon

    Far Side Of the Moon " The moon is high& the stars are aligned" :)

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    I know exactly how you feel...if you u can just pm me if u want to talk
     
  16. Far Side Of the Moon

    Far Side Of the Moon " The moon is high& the stars are aligned" :)

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    Fear is faith in reverse...if we had as much confidence in faith as we do fear...we'd be unstoppable :)

    I just think of some of the things done that strengthens anxiety that can be done to strengthen faith.

    1) negative self talk ( opposite- speak God's word)

    2) expecting something bad to happen ( BC we think so negatively all the time, or feed negativity through fear mongering news or listening to that one friend that has nothing but bad news to bring...it cements negativity in our mind..and we expect it... ) opposite? Look at all that is good in the world, the Lord said think of whatever is lovely and pure, meditate on that...caste down vain imaginations and replace it with the word of God, listen to worship music, listen to sermons about Gods love until its cemented in your mind. ( trust me, everything I'm saying to you in saying to myself as well)

    3) speaking negatively over yourself--Speak Gods word.

    4) when you feel symptoms... Speak gods word..

    I'm going through this too, I kno how messed up it can be..but god provided a way out.
     
  17. DannyKing

    DannyKing New Member

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    Thank you, everyone, for your posts. Your concern is very encouraging.

    I would like to ask all of you a question. Do you fear death? I know the fear of death is rather illogical for people whose Lord has conquered death.

    Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death - that is, the devil - and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.
    Hebrews 2:14-15

    But I'm afraid of death. In fact, death terrifies me. I sometimes feel there is something defective about my faith.
     
  18. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    Bless yer heart, praying for you brother (((hug)))
     
  19. Far Side Of the Moon

    Far Side Of the Moon " The moon is high& the stars are aligned" :)

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    I think we all are to qn extent...no one is excited to die...but when it becomes an obsession that's the bad part.
     
  20. Wolfe

    Wolfe Pack Leader

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    I don't fear death, I'm looking forward to it in a sense, I'll be going to Heaven.
    I don't 'want' to die, but I can't stop it from happening, so why bother living your life in fear of death? A poet in the 1800s (Can't remember his name) He said, death is the beginning of life, not the end.
    As for your faith, just keep praying, stay strong, we're praying for you :D

    God bless!
     
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