Anxiety in relationship

[BattlerForChrist]

Hello dear Brothers and Sisters.

I'm a 21 year old male, a lone believer in my family, have tried and still trying to make my parents seek salvation.

I must thank our Lord eternally for showing himself to me. I must also thank my current girlfriend (whom I have plans to marry, of course). Me and her came to faith together, due to a spiritual experience we had. We were both big-time sinners. We were never sober.

She already had some faith in her before this event, due to her family and her being raised as a Christian, baptized etc.

I was not, however. Quite the opposite. I hated God, even though I didn't believe in his existence. But our God is soooo good that He showed Himself to us. My ignorance left my soul. I saw Christ's love in front of my eyes, and since then, I have given my life to Christ. This was approx. 3 years ago. Me and her have been together for about 4 years now.

Ever since then, there have been constant miracles happening. God showing his love to us, everyday. We concluded that God chose me and her to be together, and we would marry eventually when we have the opportunity (finances, living situations, family etc).

It's been a while now, but I'm feeling that she is changing. She is losing her relationship with God. She's admitting it. I attempt to help her, I try to pray with her but she does not accept Him into her life again.

Satan has been attacking her multiple times, and I believe recently it has happened excessively. She goes on chatroom apps and talks to other people, she shares many unbiblical and contradicting posts on her social medias, she doesn't talk about the Lord with me anymore. We used to talk about Him and read the Bible together for hours and hours... but no more.

I understand that like all Christians at some point, she is struggling with her faith. But it has been going on for months now, and I'm worried.

I don't know what to do. I'm truly in love with this woman and I want her to be my future wife. But I don't know if it's good for me to be with a woman whom resents God and falls for the tricks of Satan. I pray for her and our relationship everyday.

I need help, my friends. I'm truly at the end of what I can do. I have given the choice to God. I hope some of you can pray for us, and maybe guide me biblically.

Thank you all so much. May God bless you and your families.

 

[ReesePiece23]

I think it's fair to say that we all experience turbulence at one point or another. I was in a relationship with a Hindu when I was around your age, and I also practised Buddhist disciplines when I travelled the far east, it's all part of growing up and finding out what you're all about as a person. (It's also about going away and then coming back to realise what you were missing.)

I wouldn't stress about it - really, I wouldn't. If you make it a big deal she'll just distance herself further away from the faith. This religion is an open house, the door is ALWAYS open. It's best to just let her casually walk in on her own accord.

To be honest, it just sounds to me like she's going through an experimental phase. It'll pass.

 

[bèlla]

It is common for people to be on fire spiritually early in their walk then hit a patch where challenges dampen the flame. You met as singles and are entering a different season with the requisite problems and newness that change will bring.

I’m uncertain of your companion’s age. But given the timeline you’ve shared; that’s pretty young. When you make lifelong commitments with little mileage under your belt. It isn’t uncommon to see your life through different lenses when compared with others your age.

You can’t expect her to remain the way she was or assume you’ll behave the same throughout your relationship. Pray for her. But don’t make the bible a battlefield. If she doesn’t want to join you in reading or discussion don’t force it. She has to develop a relationship and practice that’s authentically hers.

Some seasons of dryness last longer than others. If you haven’t experienced the same it can be difficult to understand what she’s going through. Christian classics like The Dark Night of the Soul are a good starting point.

As for you, in marriage you agree to remain for better or worse. You don’t determine what that means. Put the shoe on the other foot. How would handle knowing she was contemplating the relationship’s future during your period of weakness? Is it wise or a kick in the gut?

You will have your share of spiritual hardships too. Do you want her to bail or stand firm and support you through them? Love your neighbor. This is the perfect opportunity to live that out.

~Bella

 

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

Surrender. In the words of Cheap Trick, "Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away!" . I have no clue whether or not that's meant to be a spiritual song, but remember to give yourself to God, but not to anyone else before Him.

This is a hard thing to do, but Jesus specializes in hard cases. I'm sharing a link to the best way to pray in difficult situations. This is a 9-day prayer that is centered on giving all to God & begging for the grace of trust. Imagine the words from each day as Jesus talking directly to you, spend quiet time with Him each day as best as you can, and I promise you will have the grace of peace. I can't guarantee the outcome, but you will know that God is with you if you allow this prayer to become the pattern of your life.

https://www.themelancholicmomma.com/the-surrender-novena/

God is blessing you as you read this; thank Him with half a smile & an attempt of trust! He always meets us halfway.

 

[Tolworth John]

I need help, my friends. I'm truly at the end of what I can do. I have given the choice to God. I

Basically you have to talk to her.
To ask her about her position with regard to Jesus.
A question does she attend church with you?

Once you have an answer you can work on that.

 

[BattlerForChrist]

I think it's fair to say that we all experience turbulence at one point or another. I was in a relationship with a Hindu when I was around your age, and I also practised Buddhist disciplines when I travelled the far east, it's all part of growing up and finding out what you're all about as a person. (It's also about going away and then coming back to realise what you were missing.)

I wouldn't stress about it - really, I wouldn't. If you make it a big deal she'll just distance herself further away from the faith. This religion is an open house, the door is ALWAYS open. It's best to just let her casually walk in on her own accord.

To be honest, it just sounds to me like she's going through an experimental phase. It'll pass.

Hey ReesePiece, thank you so much for your answer.

I try to not make it a big deal, in fact I haven’t brought it up lately. But this has been going on since November last year. It’s a long time. I know God takes His time with us, and He knows the perfect timing, but I believe that she is the one denying Him. She tells me that she is ”mad” at God. I tell her you can’t. How can you be mad at perfection? It’s impossible.

Not only am I worried for her walk in her faith, but this is also hurting our relationship. It’s like our spirits are clashing—we love eachother but our spirits don’t.

 

[BattlerForChrist]

It is common for people to be on fire spiritually early in their walk then hit a patch where challenges dampen the flame. You met as singles and are entering a different season with the requisite problems and newness that change will bring.

I’m uncertain of your companion’s age. But given the timeline you’ve shared; that’s pretty young. When you make lifelong commitments with little mileage under your belt. It isn’t uncommon to see your life through different lenses when compared with others your age.

You can’t expect her to remain the way she was or assume you’ll behave the same throughout your relationship. Pray for her. But don’t make the bible a battlefield. If she doesn’t want to join you in reading or discussion don’t force it. She has to develop a relationship and practice that’s authentically hers.

Some seasons of dryness last longer than others. If you haven’t experienced the same it can be difficult to understand what she’s going through. Christian classics like The Dark Night of the Soul are a good starting point.

As for you, in marriage you agree to remain for better or worse. You don’t determine what that means. Put the shoe on the other foot. How would handle knowing she was contemplating the relationship’s future during your period of weakness? Is it wise or a kick in the gut?

You will have your share of spiritual hardships too. Do you want her to bail or stand firm and support you through them? Love your neighbor. This is the perfect opportunity to live that out.

~Bella

Hey Bella, thanks for your answer

We are both the same age. And you’re right; but with so much struggle we have had (distance, financial etc.) we believe that God has a great path waiting for us both, as a relationship. We want to get married to we can truly become one flesh, as the Bible says. I believe that marriage not only connects you physically, but also mentally and spiritually. Sometimes she has told me that she believes God has already declared me and her as married.

I don’t force it and I would never. I respect God’s rule to give humans free will, who am I to force someone? I, however, try to give her advice. She tells me she’s struggling with her mental health, and I just say seek God! I don’t need to teach her anything, she knows most of it. She’s a smart woman and she knows God’s word, but it worries me that she’s walking away from it.

Like I said in the reply above, it has been going on for over 6 months. And it’s also hurting our relationship. I’m stuck between if I should leave her for my own good, or if I should stay but possibly suffer. I need help in this decision and I ask God all the time but I can’t find signs of an answer, yet.

Maybe I’m too early in my worry.

 

[BattlerForChrist]

Surrender. In the words of Cheap Trick, "Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away!" . I have no clue whether or not that's meant to be a spiritual song, but remember to give yourself to God, but not to anyone else before Him.

This is a hard thing to do, but Jesus specializes in hard cases. I'm sharing a link to the best way to pray in difficult situations. This is a 9-day prayer that is centered on giving all to God & begging for the grace of trust. Imagine the words from each day as Jesus talking directly to you, spend quiet time with Him each day as best as you can, and I promise you will have the grace of peace. I can't guarantee the outcome, but you will know that God is with you if you allow this prayer to become the pattern of your life.

The Surrender Novena : Fr. Don Dolindo-The Melancholic Momma

God is blessing you as you read this; thank Him with half a smile & an attempt of trust! He always meets us halfway.

Hi Alex, thanks for replying to my thread

I give all of me to Jesus and oh have I surrendered to Him. He is so good and to this day I can’t thank Him enough for choosing me.

Thank you for the link, I’ll definitely check it out!

God bless you my friend

 

[BattlerForChrist]

Basically you have to talk to her.
To ask her about her position with regard to Jesus.
A question does she attend church with you?

Once you have an answer you can work on that.

Hey John, thanks for your reply!

I have asked her and she is denying the question, changing the subject completely, as if she doesn’t dare to be questioned.

Sadly no, we’re in quite a distance right now as I’m in Europe and she is in America. I did attend church with her when I was with her, but at the moment; no.

She does go with her family however, but since this pandemic, the church is closed and they do livestreams online. Sadly she doesn’t attend these, though I encourage her to.

 

[Tolworth John]

Hey John, thanks for your reply!

I have asked her and she is denying the question, changing the subject completely, as if she doesn’t dare to be questioned.

Sadly no, we’re in quite a distance right now as I’m in Europe and she is in America. I did attend church with her when I was with her, but at the moment; no.

She does go with her family however, but since this pandemic, the church is closed and they do livestreams online. Sadly she doesn’t attend these, though I encourage her to.

The virus makes things difficult
I think you have to continue to talk and to ask questions.
Why don't you watch the live stream services?
You changed the subject why?

Will you ring and talk to your minister or his wife??

Why not? Again Is there anything wrong?

You know her and can feed these into a phone conversation.