Anxiety about past sins, need clarity

[HuskeyBoy]

Hi my name is Tommy. I’m 42 and I’ve been a Christian since I was 8, and been in church my whole life. I didn’t have many friends in HS, so when I found some with common interests (sports) they weren’t Christians. I should have turned the other way, but I didn’t. I decided to fit in with them and listen to what they listened to, go where they went, and acted like they acted.

In the meantime I listened to horrible music that took Gods name in vain repeatedly because they did. Some of the songs said some really disrespectful stuff about Him and it really troubled me. I would “turn the radio down” when those parts came up. All the while I justified it by telling myself I wasn’t the one saying it so that made it ok. After a couple of years my conscience couldn’t take it any more. I dumped all of the music and told God I was sorry and felt relieved.

Fast forward about 10 years later, the guilt of how I disrespected God’s name fell on me like a pile of rocks. Add on top of that the passages in Hebrews about sinning willfully and you know the rest. My heart is like melted wax.

Where I need clarity is not whether I failed to honor Gods name, I know I didn’t. I need clarity on whether I sinned in such a hard-hearted way (Hebrews 6 &10) that Infit the description of those verses. I need to know if I am as guilty as a listener as the person is who sung those terribly disrespectful things. I need wisdom on whether I crossed the line or just came close, or if I’m totally off base.

I’m about to go crazy, the weight is getting unbearable, and any help or wisdom is appreciated.

Sincerely,
Tommy H.

 

[FatalFantasy]

Hi my name is Tommy. I’m 42 and I’ve been a Christian since I was 8, and been in church my whole life. I didn’t have many friends in HS, so when I found some with common interests (sports) they weren’t Christians. I should have turned the other way, but I didn’t. I decided to fit in with them and listen to what they listened to, go where they went, and acted like they acted.

In the meantime I listened to horrible music that took Gods name in vain repeatedly because they did. Some of the songs said some really disrespectful stuff about Him and it really troubled me. I would “turn the radio down” when those parts came up. All the while I justified it by telling myself I wasn’t the one saying it so that made it ok. After a couple of years my conscience couldn’t take it any more. I dumped all of the music and told God I was sorry and felt relieved.

Fast forward about 10 years later, the guilt of how I disrespected God’s name fell on me like a pile of rocks. Add on top of that the passages in Hebrews about sinning willfully and you know the rest. My heart is like melted wax.

Where I need clarity is not whether I failed to honor Gods name, I know I didn’t. I need clarity on whether I sinned in such a hard-hearted way (Hebrews 6 &10) that Infit the description of those verses. I need to know if I am as guilty as a listener as the person is who sung those terribly disrespectful things. I need wisdom on whether I crossed the line or just came close, or if I’m totally off base.

I’m about to go crazy, the weight is getting unbearable, and any help or wisdom is appreciated.

Sincerely,
Tommy H.

"It is done" Jesus spoke.

And

"Sin must come, but woe to those who cause those too sin.

Everyone has sinned okay, there's is no escaping that. But much of our guilt comes from wanting to live up to the expectations we invent in our own heads.

Paul understood that he need not judge himself or anyone (Thou shalt not judge) so why do you judge yourself guilty when judgement is in God's hands. Do you think you know how God judge's you? What method does he go by, what standard does he use. Are you not assuming how God sees you, and how he thinks?

 

[HuskeyBoy]

"It is done" Jesus spoke.

And

"Sin must come, but woe to those who cause those too sin.

Everyone has sinned okay, there's is no escaping that. But much of our guilt comes from wanting to live up to the expectations we invent in our own heads.

Paul understood that he need not judge himself or anyone (Thou shalt not judge) so why do you judge yourself guilty when judgement is in God's hands. Do you think you know how God judge's you? What method does he go by, what standard does he use. Are you not assuming how God sees you, and how he thinks?

Not sure I totally grasp your answer, but I’m not sure how God sees me, that’s part of the problem.

 

[FatalFantasy]

Not sure I totally grasp your answer, but I’m not sure how God sees me, that’s part of the problem.

Yes, but you are judging yourself, and measuring yourself by what standard?

The Bible?

Doesn't the Bible say that it is there to build people up? But do you tear yourself down with it?

 

[childeye 2]

Hi my name is Tommy. I’m 42 and I’ve been a Christian since I was 8, and been in church my whole life. I didn’t have many friends in HS, so when I found some with common interests (sports) they weren’t Christians. I should have turned the other way, but I didn’t. I decided to fit in with them and listen to what they listened to, go where they went, and acted like they acted.

In the meantime I listened to horrible music that took Gods name in vain repeatedly because they did. Some of the songs said some really disrespectful stuff about Him and it really troubled me. I would “turn the radio down” when those parts came up. All the while I justified it by telling myself I wasn’t the one saying it so that made it ok. After a couple of years my conscience couldn’t take it any more. I dumped all of the music and told God I was sorry and felt relieved.

Fast forward about 10 years later, the guilt of how I disrespected God’s name fell on me like a pile of rocks. Add on top of that the passages in Hebrews about sinning willfully and you know the rest. My heart is like melted wax.

Where I need clarity is not whether I failed to honor Gods name, I know I didn’t. I need clarity on whether I sinned in such a hard-hearted way (Hebrews 6 &10) that Infit the description of those verses. I need to know if I am as guilty as a listener as the person is who sung those terribly disrespectful things. I need wisdom on whether I crossed the line or just came close, or if I’m totally off base.

I’m about to go crazy, the weight is getting unbearable, and any help or wisdom is appreciated.

Sincerely,
Tommy H.

We are in a battle against the devil who is both a tempter and accuser of those he tempted. I believe that this is who is troubling you in your thoughts.

Just be honest and humble which is all God expects from us. We all have fallen to some temptation, so we become hypocritical only when we condemn others. Therefore we are judged according to what measure we judge others with.

My advice is to have mercy and understanding for others, don't focus on yourself and whether you have sinned according to Hebrews 6 and 10, but focus on how you might serve others who are in need.

 

[paul1149]

Fast forward about 10 years later, the guilt of how I disrespected God’s name fell on me like a pile of rocks. Add on top of that the passages in Hebrews about sinning willfully and you know the rest. My heart is like melted wax.

When we're called deeper into God the enemy resists desperately. Because of the Cross, God is glorified by extending mercy and grace to us sinners. He who is forgiven much, loves much. You have a choice to accept God at His word, and accept His forgiveness (there is no sin equal to the blood of Christ, so long as we repent and confess), or to turn away disbelieving. The verses in Hebrews were not given to condemn, but to admonish. It literally says so. Don't allow the devil to trick you into thinking you're beyond God's grace. He didn't let go of me, and He won't let go of you.

 

[WESTOZZIE]

about sinning willfully and you know the rest

""and you know the rest"?? I sure do brother! It's condemnation from the enemy....it's not the Holy Spirit convicting you. God wants you to rest in the FACT that He HAS forgiven you already. That forgiven place is entered into by believing it is so. And to stay in that place is also through believing. So the enemy comes to bring up our past sins and hurl them at us...Why? To get us to speak in disagreement with what God has declared about our past and us. The enemy wants you to speak unbelief, which then brings your eyes off Jesus' work on the cross for you...which then leads you down into a pit of despair...where once there, you will be attacked further to cause you to sin in other ways in order to bury you alive under guilt and shame etc etc....been there done that!! But your FAther is with you, He hasnt changed His mind about you. He hasnt stopped forgiving you. Nothing has changed from His side. Tell the enemy to take a hike! You are a son of God...FORGIVEN...CLEANSED...PURE.....PERFECT IN HIS SIGHT!! Many verses on this all through Scripture. Just take Col 2:13

Col 2:13 And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses,
Col 2:14 having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.
Col 2:15 Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it.

And the whole context of Hebrews was about believers in Jesus, going back to sacrificing animals for their sins.

 

[Oldmantook]

Hi my name is Tommy. I’m 42 and I’ve been a Christian since I was 8, and been in church my whole life. I didn’t have many friends in HS, so when I found some with common interests (sports) they weren’t Christians. I should have turned the other way, but I didn’t. I decided to fit in with them and listen to what they listened to, go where they went, and acted like they acted.

In the meantime I listened to horrible music that took Gods name in vain repeatedly because they did. Some of the songs said some really disrespectful stuff about Him and it really troubled me. I would “turn the radio down” when those parts came up. All the while I justified it by telling myself I wasn’t the one saying it so that made it ok. After a couple of years my conscience couldn’t take it any more. I dumped all of the music and told God I was sorry and felt relieved.

Fast forward about 10 years later, the guilt of how I disrespected God’s name fell on me like a pile of rocks. Add on top of that the passages in Hebrews about sinning willfully and you know the rest. My heart is like melted wax.

Where I need clarity is not whether I failed to honor Gods name, I know I didn’t. I need clarity on whether I sinned in such a hard-hearted way (Hebrews 6 &10) that Infit the description of those verses. I need to know if I am as guilty as a listener as the person is who sung those terribly disrespectful things. I need wisdom on whether I crossed the line or just came close, or if I’m totally off base.

I’m about to go crazy, the weight is getting unbearable, and any help or wisdom is appreciated.

Sincerely,
Tommy H.

May God make his face shine upon you and give you peace Tommy.
Rest assured. The Hebrews 6 passage that you cited does not apply to you as you are repentant for your past sins. The Hebrews 6 passage refers to those who are STILL SINNING as the Greek verb tenses in this verse are in the present tense. It states they are still crucifyING AND shamING Christ subject him to public disgrace. The fact that these people are still engaged in sinning in this manner, demonstrates that they have not repented but continue in their sin - therefore it is "impossible to renew them to repentance."
6and then having fallen away—to restore them again to repentance, crucifying in themselves the Son of God and subjecting Him to open shame. (BLB)
So yes you're "totally off base" but that's good as your heart is in the right place as you appear genuinely sorry for sin in the past and are not continuing in sin unlike that those described in Heb 6. Now throw that heavy weight off of your back!

 

[HuskeyBoy]

Thank you for the kind and wise words. I will take them to heart and pray with them.

I know simply listening to or watching sinful stuff is not necessarily a sin in itself, what bothers me is that my heart was in a place that I thought it was ok for someone who professed to believe in Him to disregard respecting His name for the approval of others. I was very presumptuous and prideful that it didn’t really matter. I made a god of people’s approval for the sake of being wanted by others I looked up to. I violated my conscience and now it reminds and injures me daily like a mad taskmaster.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Hi my name is Tommy. I’m 42 and I’ve been a Christian since I was 8, and been in church my whole life. I didn’t have many friends in HS, so when I found some with common interests (sports) they weren’t Christians. I should have turned the other way, but I didn’t. I decided to fit in with them and listen to what they listened to, go where they went, and acted like they acted.

In the meantime I listened to horrible music that took Gods name in vain repeatedly because they did. Some of the songs said some really disrespectful stuff about Him and it really troubled me. I would “turn the radio down” when those parts came up. All the while I justified it by telling myself I wasn’t the one saying it so that made it ok. After a couple of years my conscience couldn’t take it any more. I dumped all of the music and told God I was sorry and felt relieved.

Fast forward about 10 years later, the guilt of how I disrespected God’s name fell on me like a pile of rocks. Add on top of that the passages in Hebrews about sinning willfully and you know the rest. My heart is like melted wax.

Where I need clarity is not whether I failed to honor Gods name, I know I didn’t. I need clarity on whether I sinned in such a hard-hearted way (Hebrews 6 &10) that Infit the description of those verses. I need to know if I am as guilty as a listener as the person is who sung those terribly disrespectful things. I need wisdom on whether I crossed the line or just came close, or if I’m totally off base.

I’m about to go crazy, the weight is getting unbearable, and any help or wisdom is appreciated.

Sincerely,
Tommy H.

Many of us feel the way you do.

Paul described himself as the chief of sinners.

I actually think that title belongs to me.
Although not one to be proud of.

The key for us all is to repent and not do those things again.

And thank God for forgiving us for our sins.

You Are Not Alone a Lady at our church brought up this topic with me last week after church.

Maybe we are giving the devil a stronghold here?

M-Bob

 

[Oldmantook]

Thank you for the kind and wise words. I will take them to heart and pray with them.

I know simply listening to or watching sinful stuff is not necessarily a sin in itself, what bothers me is that my heart was in a place that I thought it was ok for someone who professed to believe in Him to disregard respecting His name for the approval of others. I was very presumptuous and prideful that it didn’t really matter. I made a god of people’s approval for the sake of being wanted by others I looked up to. I violated my conscience and now it reminds and injures me daily like a mad taskmaster.

Know who you are in Christ. Stand upon it and drive out the enemy from those intrusive thoughts that falsely accuse you. Remember that Christians still sin as 1 John 1:8-10 testifies to. However we must not practice sinning as those who habitually sin, walk in darkness and do not even have fellowship with God (1 John 1:6). IF we walk in the light, Jesus' blood cleanses us when we repent and seek forgiveness (1 John 1:7). The word "if" indicates a condition and a possibility; not a certainty. Not all believers choose to walk in the light as we all have the choice whether to live according to the Spirit or to live according to our flesh. If our lifestyle is characterized by abiding in God's Word and living a repentant lifestyle, then when we do occasionally sin and repent, the blood of Jesus cleanses our sin. 1 John is a good book to study as it distinguishes between habitual sin and occasional sin and how we can be assured or our salvation.

 

[HuskeyBoy]

Here's the question that's bothering me the most. If I listen or watch something and it winds up having content dishonouring to God in it I know that it's not any sort of intentional sin, but if I knowingly watch or listen to something that does dishonour God or Christ, where does that fall on the "sin scale"? How does God judge me on those actions? Am I guilty the same way as if I said those things? That's where I'm struggling the most.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

It's hard watching movies nowadays because many of them use God's name in vain and have a lot of cussing. When the wife and I hear God's name used in vain kind of feels like a knife stabbing one in the heart.

We are supposed to avoid all talk that is not edifying. Pretty hard to do in this world.

How will we be judged for our sins?
If we are born again and have faith in Christ alone thank God we will not be judged for our many, many sins.

If there was to be a prison sentence handed down for my sins I would spend eternity in hell. It's a good thing I believe to thank God each and every day that he has forgiven us and sent his Son to die for us.

The Bible says to examine ourselves. Yes, once again I realize there are probably some things I should let go of.

M-Bob

 

[HuskeyBoy]

I agree, none of us want what we deserve. I guess my biggest fear is that some sins are much worse than others, like abusing Gods name. I’m tortured by my conscience that even though it didn’t come out of my mouth, I approved of others doing it around me so it might as well be the same thing. It haunts me like I can’t even explain. I keep thinking about the woman’s son in Leviticus that was stoned for blaspheming God, and keep thinking that should be me .

 

[Mountainmanbob]

You know the world teaches people that it's so important to forgive themselves. I'm not big on that and don't really see it in the Bible. But it's a good thing to constantly thank God for his forgiveness.
M-Bob

 

[Blood Bought]

If Hebrews 10 means that if you sin willfully one time; then you are done. Then David would not be going to heaven and we know he is forgiven and in Heaven.

So it has to mean something else.

Hebrews says: He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses:

2 Samuel says (speaking about David when he was confronted about his sin)
Why then have you despised the command of the LORD by doing evil in His sight? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife as your own, for you have slain him with the sword of the Ammonites.

Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” “The LORD has taken away your sin,” Nathan replied. “You will not die.

Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not hide my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”and You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah Therefore let all the godly pray to You while You may be found.


If some professing believer never has any change in their life; and they think the Grace of God is an excuse to go on sinning. Then they never encountered the true Grace of God; because that sets you free from sin. Sounds like God drew you back because He loves you.

Forget the past and press onto the future in Christ

 

[HuskeyBoy]

If Hebrews 10 means that if you sin willfully one time; then you are done. Then David would not be going to heaven and we know he is forgiven and in Heaven.

So it has to mean something else.

Hebrews says: He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses:

2 Samuel says (speaking about David when he was confronted about his sin)
Why then have you despised the command of the LORD by doing evil in His sight? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife as your own, for you have slain him with the sword of the Ammonites.

Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” “The LORD has taken away your sin,” Nathan replied. “You will not die.

Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not hide my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”and You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah Therefore let all the godly pray to You while You may be found.


If some professing believer never has any change in their life; and they think the Grace of God is an excuse to go on sinning. Then they never encountered the true Grace of God; because that sets you free from sin. Sounds like God drew you back because He loves you.

Forget the past and press onto the future in Christ

Thank you, I am struggling with God wanting to forgive me, but I know God loves to forgive. The day I read Hebrews 10:26 my sins became extremely heavy and frightening to me, and I haven’t figured out why that verse set it off if it doesn’t really apply as people have counseled me.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Thank you, I am struggling with God wanting to forgive me,


but I know God lobes to forgive. The day I read Hebrews 10:26 my sins became extremely heavy and frightening to me, and I haven’t figured out why that verse set it off if it doesn’t really apply as people have counseled me.

If We Trust In Christ Alone we repent and accept his forgiveness and try our best to move on.
M-Bob

 

[Blood Bought]

But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.