Anyone messianic for awhile that has fallen out of the right observance of Sabbath? With my job right now, I have somewhat of a condensed work week, caregiving for an antisocial Alzheimer’s patient at her home, so not demanding in the way of some other jobs I’ve had. In past, the sabbath was a delight and welcome break, much different from the rest of the week, but I really had to ‘work’ hard at carving out that time, and having faith that working Sunday on my own time would be enough to be ready for the week on Monday. Whereas now though I actively look for work to be done, I have a fair amount of downtime during my shifts. By Thursday morning, my work week is done, so Thursday/Friday are my days to do errands and work around the house. It kind of feels like my week starts again, then gets shut down right away for the Sabbath. I’m having trouble getting into the frame of mind to focus on God and put away my distractions (computer).
Maybe I am not diligent enough to use my time to work during the six days? Projects to bring to my job to do? One thing that feels like a distraction is my needy sister who calls me every day, sometimes multiple times, often extended times. I multi-task as able, and we are comfortable with plenty of dead air, it is just something I have gotten used to in her mental health journey. With this job she can call me at work as well as home. But they say that you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. It does somewhat fragment my time and make it less productive, but it is no excuse.
While I love my schedule, it seems to throw any sort of routine out the window. As a single person living alone, not that I had a lot of routine, but routine might make it easier for me to enter into Shabbat when it is harder to reign myself in. I don’t want to reduce it to routine either, but where do I start? In what ways can I anticipate Shabbat during a relaxing week so that my mindset changes? I try to dial back the wandering internet browsing, not wanting to do my own pleasure on God’s holy day, but looking for a fresh positive approach? I am lacking in consistency in having daily time with God also, despite a general orientation towards Him, I know that doesn’t help, but I guess on the sabbath it is highlighted for me. Maybe I'm stuck on some email conversations of faith also and just ending up avoiding thinking about it?
Maybe I know what to do if I think well enough on it, but my mind is rather scattered and unruly and I’m hoping a discussion can help me align my focus and discipline during the week before the sabbath comes with its pressure to do so.
