Another sexless unconsummated marriage

Dave-W

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Jesus had brothers.
I think it's safe to say that Joseph and Mary had relations after she gave virgin birth.
The Catholics say they were “cousins.”
THe Orthodox say they were children from Joseph’s first wife (died).

Either way, they insist Mary was a virgin until she died. Some ECFs even said that instead of being born normally, Jesus “beamed out” directly into Mary’s arms so there would be no opening of the womb.
 
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Dave-W

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She is not fulfilling her marital duties to her husband.
I have trouble with that whole concept of “marital duties.” It makes something that is supposed to be a delight into slave drudgery.
 
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barefeetonholyground

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I have trouble with that whole concept of “marital duties.” It makes something that is supposed to be a delight into slave drudgery.
There's a lot in the Bible that I have trouble with, but as a pastor of mine once said, "If there's something in the Bible you don't agree with, you're wrong."
 
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Dave-W

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There's a lot in the Bible that I have trouble with, but as a pastor of mine once said, "If there's something in the Bible you don't agree with, you're wrong."
And that I agree with. But the Bible says marital relations are to be a delight. Not slave drudgery.

THere are any number of reasons why it becomes negative, like childhood abuse, teaching that sex is evil, etc. Look up “purity culture fail” and see what I mean.
 
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barefeetonholyground

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The Catholics say they were “cousins.”
THe Orthodox say they were children from Joseph’s first wife (died).

Either way, they insist Mary was a virgin until she died. Some ECFs even said that instead of being born normally, Jesus “beamed out” directly into Mary’s arms so there would be no opening of the womb.
I'm aware that Catholics teach that, but that doesn't mean it's correct.
Matthew 1:24-25 even says that when Joseph took Mary as his wife he kept her a virgin until she gave birth.
It doesn't say that he kept her a virgin forever, just for a time.
 
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barefeetonholyground

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And that I agree with. But the Bible says marital relations are to be a delight. Not slave drudgery.

THere are any number of reasons why it becomes negative, like childhood abuse, teaching that sex is evil, etc. Look up “purity culture fail” and see what I mean.
Of course it's a delight!
That doesn't make it any less of a duty.
1 Corinthians 7:1-7 makes that very clear.
 
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Dave-W

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I'm aware that Catholics teach that, but that doesn't mean it's correct.
Matthew 1:24-25 even says that when Joseph took Mary as his wife he kept her a virgin until she gave birth.
It doesn't say that he kept her a virgin forever, just for a time.
You and I agree on that, especially since the Catholics say Mary did not sin either, and a lack of frequent sexual activity was considered a sin under Judaism. In fact, the MINIMUM frequency would have been spelled out in their ketubah, marriage contract.
 
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Dave-W

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Of course it's a delight!
That doesn't make it any less of a duty.
1 Corinthians 7:1-7 makes that very clear.
Delight is something you do because you want to and enjoy it.

Duty is something you hate but have to do it anyway.
 
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barefeetonholyground

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Delight is something you do because you want to and enjoy it.

Duty is something you hate but have to do it anyway.
I think I would have to disagree on your definition of duty then.
I don't see duties as necessarily something you hate, just something you're required to do whether or not you like to do them.
 
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Dave-W

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Ricky3369

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So what WOULD you call having to do what you hate?

The sexual duty in marriage is not simply to do it whether you want to or not, but the duty includes the requirement to also WANT to have sex, i.e. "due benevolence". There is no benevolence or kindness in giving something begrudgingly. So the moral requirement on BOTH spouses is this: Have frequent sex from a desire to please and bring delight to your spouse. You can change your attitude with God's help. Just having sex doesn't get you off the hook. Your attitude is important too.

This, however, is not permission to refuse to have sex until your attitude is right. Your attitude is a SIN. Not having sex is a SIN. Refusing to have sex because or your sinful attitude is SIN times 2.
 
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Dave-W

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This, however, is not permission to refuse to have sex until your attitude is right. Your attitude is a SIN. Not having sex is a SIN. Refusing to have sex because or your sinful attitude is SIN times 2.
I find your legalistic attitude Disturbing.

Tell that to the new bride that has ptsd flashbacks of violent sexual abuse when she was in grade school. Tell that to the rape victim. Tell that to the person of either gender that has had it drilled into them by parents or church from age 4 or 5 how evil sex is and how much God hates it.
 
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Mountainmanbob

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She has to do all the work; just so he can get his jollies?

How selfish is that?

That's a sad way to put it Dave.

How long does it really take to get to be satisfied by your spouse? 5 or 10 minutes? Any mate that cannot do that for their husband or wife is falling very short? And that would be according to the Bible -- mb
 
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mama2one

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How long does it really take to get to be satisfied by your spouse? 5 or 10 minutes?

5 or 10 min? no wonder many woman aren't interested

allow ourselves best part of an hr; not saying it always takes that long but try to have that time
 
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Mountainmanbob

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5 or 10 min? no wonder many woman aren't interested, lol
allow ourselves an hr; not saying it always takes that long but try to have that time

I agree with you.
My challenge for the day.
M-Bob
 
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Dave-W

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How long does it really take to get to be satisfied by your spouse? 5 or 10 minutes?
It’s not a matter of time; it is a matter of attitude.

there is more to being “satisfied” than just a release.
 
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Dave-W

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As a Marine I find this statement laughably insulting
OK Marine, what do YOU call it when you are forced to do something you can’t stand?

Like being told to watch a NAVY guy snap to attention and the CO says that is how YOU are supposed to be doing it? (My son was the navy guy... in A school)
 
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Dave-W

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Tell that to the new bride that has ptsd flashbacks of violent sexual abuse when she was in grade school. Tell that to the rape victim. Tell that to the person of either gender that has had it drilled into them by parents or church from age 4 or 5 how evil sex is and how much God hates it.
I see no one has touched this one yet.
 
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DZoolander

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Well, my gut instinct on that is "No, such a person ought not feel compelled to have sex"

But at the same time, I also think "I wouldn't want to be married to such a person."

...and did they make those things clear ahead of time so that both partners knew what they were walking into? Because that's a heck of a thing to get surprised by once the vows have been taken.
 
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