Annoyed at this guy

[Annalafrenchy7]

This guy who works in the same cafe as me, who I thought was my friend turned out to be a total jerk. We have been friends for almost a year. He goes to the same school as me as well, so we just talk when we run into eachother. When we first met he tried flirting with me but I ignored it. I told him he was just a friend and was very kind to him. Later in the friendship he acted like the idea of him liking me was repulsive. He started acting very rude towards me insulting me then laughing about it. He would know who I had a crush on because he’d always follow me around at school. He would get mad when I’d say a guy was cute, his whole demeanor would change he would be in a snappy mood after. He would often say of they would never give u a chance. He would rub in my face when he got a better grade than me on something. He just turned into a real big headed meany. But when I first met him he was shy and quiet then when he started following me around he started acting loud and confident. I am very hurt because I thought he was my friend and he is always unsupportive and insulting.he acts very possessive of me and it’s weird. Oh and also nobody would talk to him at work or school so I felt bad for him and started talking to him, he had no friends before. I have been nothing but nice to him. Thanks for reading guys!

 

[blackribbon]

He isn't your friend. He is and always has been interacting with you because he thought he could convince you that he was a great guy and that you would change your mind. He is hurt and is showing anger because he is jealous of any guy you notice when he believes you should be noticing him instead. What you consider friendship, he has always considered sort of pre-dating. He is interested in you romantically....always has been. Men call this "being put in the friend zone" and take this as a rejection.

You being nice to him in friendship has him believing he has hope for this to turn into something romantic, no matter how many times you have made it clear otherwise. He feels like he has "paid his dues" and now deserves a chance to date you.

Time to sit down with him and make him choose...you as a friend with zero hope of romance or he needs to walk out of your life. Expect that the second will happen because the truth he is interested in you and needs to make a clean cut to clear his mind of you. If he picks the first one, realize that he probably still hopes that you will change your mind because the truth is he still likes you.

In the end, you might have to show him love by doing the cutting off...even though you want him as a friend. If you keep him as a "friend" when he wants more, you are sort of using him because of what you want. AT the very least, cut back on the time you spend together so he has time to heal alone and hopefully turn his attention to another girl. Note that other girl will likely cut you out of his life because he is likely to tell her that he always had a crush on you...and you will become her competition in her mind for his heart, mind, and time.

 

[exitstageright]

He isn't your friend. He is and always has been interacting with you because he thought he could convince you that he was a great guy and that you would change your mind. He is hurt and is showing anger because he is jealous of any guy you notice when he believes you should be noticing him instead. What you consider friendship, he has always considered sort of pre-dating. He is interested in you romantically....always has been. Men call this "being put in the friend zone" and take this as a rejection.

You being nice to him in friendship has him believing he has hope for this to turn into something romantic, no matter how many times you have made it clear otherwise. He feels like he has "paid his dues" and now deserves a chance to date you.

Time to sit down with him and make him choose...you as a friend with zero hope of romance or he needs to walk out of your life. Expect that the second will happen because the truth he is interested in you and needs to make a clean cut to clear his mind of you. If he picks the first one, realize that he probably still hopes that you will change your mind because the truth is he still likes you.

In the end, you might have to show him love by doing the cutting off...even though you want him as a friend. If you keep him as a "friend" when he wants more, you are sort of using him because of what you want. AT the very least, cut back on the time you spend together so he has time to heal alone and hopefully turn his attention to another girl. Note that other girl will likely cut you out of his life because he is likely to tell her that he always had a crush on you...and you will become her competition in her mind for his heart, mind, and time.

That is a very astute analysis of this situation.

 

[Lost4words]

Just ignore him. Get on with ur life

 

[Annalafrenchy7]

He isn't your friend. He is and always has been interacting with you because he thought he could convince you that he was a great guy and that you would change your mind. He is hurt and is showing anger because he is jealous of any guy you notice when he believes you should be noticing him instead. What you consider friendship, he has always considered sort of pre-dating. He is interested in you romantically....always has been. Men call this "being put in the friend zone" and take this as a rejection.

You being nice to him in friendship has him believing he has hope for this to turn into something romantic, no matter how many times you have made it clear otherwise. He feels like he has "paid his dues" and now deserves a chance to date you.

Time to sit down with him and make him choose...you as a friend with zero hope of romance or he needs to walk out of your life. Expect that the second will happen because the truth he is interested in you and needs to make a clean cut to clear his mind of you. If he picks the first one, realize that he probably still hopes that you will change your mind because the truth is he still likes you.

In the end, you might have to show him love by doing the cutting off...even though you want him as a friend. If you keep him as a "friend" when he wants more, you are sort of using him because of what you want. AT the very least, cut back on the time you spend together so he has time to heal alone and hopefully turn his attention to another girl. Note that other girl will likely cut you out of his life because he is likely to tell her that he always had a crush on you...and you will become her competition in her mind for his heart, mind, and time.

I agree completely, thank you for your time in responding.

 

[Annalafrenchy7]

Just ignore him. Get on with ur life

That is not very kind to say, I was trying to do the right thing and be kind since he has no friends.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

I agree with what blackribbon said in her first few words. But as far as sitting down to talk with this creep and reason things out; I wouldn't waste my time. He's already shown his true colours.

 

[Annalafrenchy7]

I agree with what blackribbon said in her first few words. But as far as sitting down to talk with this creep and reason things out; I wouldn't waste my time. He's already shown his true colours.

Thanks for responding, I appreciate both your advice. I am not going to have a sit down, he has shown his true colors

 

[Sketcher]

Oh and also nobody would talk to him at work or school so I felt bad for him and started talking to him, he had no friends before.

Now you know why.

 

[Lost4words]

That is not very kind to say, I was trying to do the right thing and be kind since he has no friends.

Really? After what you said about the guy?

 

[Annalafrenchy7]

Really? After what you said about the guy?

I merely stated the truth about him. I had been nothing but kind.

 

[Annalafrenchy7]

I merely stated the truth about him. I had been nothing but kind.

To say move on with your life is rude.

 

[blackribbon]

The reason I said talk to him was because you said he was a friend. That is what you do with a friend. However, it looks like the relationship was already over and you just needed insight into why he was acting this way.

 

[Annalafrenchy7]

The reason I said talk to him was because you said he was a friend. That is what you do with a friend. However, it looks like the relationship was already over and you just needed insight into why he was acting this way.

Yes I completely agree with you. Thank you. You are right I was thinking about talking to him but I realized he doesn’t care about a friendship. Thanks for the message friend

 

[blackribbon]

Now when you see him act professional...like you would with a customer that you didn't particularly care for. Be polite and impersonal. Shut down the emotions and just use basic manners.

 

[Annalafrenchy7]

Now when you see him act professional...like you would with a customer that you didn't particularly care for. Be polite and impersonal. Shut down the emotions and just use basic manners.

Thank you, I intend on doing just that. You are very knowledgeable on this subject thank you

 

[ReesePiece23]

Sounds as if he needs to go away and mature emotionally for a couple of years.

I wouldn't bother being kind, just tell him to stop being a big girl's blouse.

 

[Radagast]

I am very hurt because I thought he was my friend and he is always unsupportive and insulting.he acts very possessive of me and it’s weird.

The problem with men and women being friends is that, if one or other person falls in love, the friendship cannot survive.

 

[blackribbon]

The problem with men and women being friends is that, if one or other person falls in love, the friendship cannot survive.

Wrong...I have a friendship like that which is 30 years old...it just has had to evolve over the years...and there needed to be a period of being apart to allow hearts to heal.... We don't hang out in person...but we chitchat periodically.

 

[blackribbon]

Sounds as if he needs to go away and mature emotionally for a couple of years.

I wouldn't bother being kind, just tell him to stop being a big girl's blouse.

They work together.... and as a Christian, you don't need to be rude or aggressive if someone who has not treated you kindly walks by you in the streets. It is okay and proper to say "hi" and keep on walking.