Am i wrong or should my mom wear a bra around my boyfriend? (At home)

[Amy Lohter]

And there's nothing i can really say to my dad about it. Would be even harder

 

[WindHund]

I would be quite annoyed if I had a girlfriend that demanded her mother put on a bra when I was around. (I am assuming a serious boyfriend). Part of having a serious sig other is getting comfortable with the rest of the family. That includes mom being able to be comfortable in a family group, its not like she is hanging out nude or anything.

I would seriously question the relationship because there seems to be some serious baggage there somewhere that I would not want to have to deal with in the future. I am finding a bit of difficulty here in determining just who the OP doesn't trust more.

 

[Amy Lohter]

Thanks. I understand being comfortable

No you have it wrong. I fully trust both! I just think some comfortable things are too revealing and its not nice

 

[Amy Lohter]

I would be quite annoyed if I had a girlfriend that demanded her mother put on a bra when I was around. (I am assuming a serious boyfriend). Part of having a serious sig other is getting comfortable with the rest of the family. That includes mom being able to be comfortable in a family group, its not like she is hanging out nude or anything.

I would seriously question the relationship because there seems to be some serious baggage there somewhere that I would not want to have to deal with in the future. I am finding a bit of difficulty here in determining just who the OP doesn't trust more.

Thanks. I understand being comfortable

No you have it wrong. I fully trust both! I just think some comfortable things are too revealing and its not nice

 

[WindHund]

I just think some comfortable things are too revealing and its not nice

So, sounds like it is your problem! Good thing you weren't in the Garden of Eden!

 

[Amy Lohter]

So, sounds like it is your problem! Good thing you weren't in the Garden of Eden!

Oh no thats different situation i think?

 

[Cearbhall]

If it's not your house, it would be difficult to take the stance that you can have company over whenever you want and everyone needs to be presentable for them.

 

[Amy Lohter]

Its not like whenever i want. Its just certain times her comfy wear is a little too comfy. Certain comfy tops are not good with no bra. I think sheshould wear one. Esp sometimes.

If it's not your house, it would be difficult to take the stance that you can have company over whenever you want and everyone needs to be presentable for them.

 

[quatona]

Hi everyone

We are a very religious family and happy

Ive been reading here a while and its an awesome site but wanted to ask a question and i thought here was best.

I have an issue and maybe its me insecure? I dunno

But hanging around the house you wear something comfy and for us girls it normally means bra off if no one is around.

But i wish my mom would put a bra on / wear more suitable clothes when my boyfriend comes over

I trust my boyfriend and i trust my mom but i think she should wear a bra when hes over. Ive been seeing him for about 3 months and ive always hated that my mom is braless when hes there. I wish she would just throw one on when he comes over.

Like i said i trust my boyfriend but its easy to notice shes not wearing one because of her nipples. I trust him but ive seen his eyes looking in that direction a few times when he hasnt known ive noticed him looking. If i can notice him looking in that direction then surely she has noticed?? But she just keeps chatting to him.

I definitely wouldnt say my mom flirts with him but shes definately very talkative with him and like i said ive noticed him looking in that direction (her boobs). Am i being insecure or can i ask my mom to wear one?

I havnt asked yet because i just think it will make her think that i dont trust her or cause some kind of weird reaction.

We havnt always been super close and i dont want to lose the little bit of closeness i have with her now

Thanks

I´ve always found it most beneficial to openly talk about my feelings, concerns, fears and ambiguities (if you have little practice in doing this, it might be difficult to avoid those parts that are something else, though - e.g. reproaches, demands, arguments, reasonings, judgements, moral appeals.... It also depends a little on the way you typically communicate).
This - if being presented as some sort of confession - creates closeness rather than destroying it.

 

[Amy Lohter]

I´ve always found it most beneficial to openly talk about my feelings, concerns, fears and ambiguities (if you have little practice in doing this, it might be difficult to avoid those parts that are something else, though - e.g. reproaches, demands, arguments, reasonings, judgements, moral appeals.... It also depends a little on the way you typically communicate).
This - if being presented as some sort of confession - creates closeness rather than destroying it.

Ok true thank you

 

[Cearbhall]

Its not like whenever i want. Its just certain times her comfy wear is a little too comfy. Certain comfy tops are not good with no bra. I think sheshould wear one. Esp sometimes.

Right. But that's what happens when you live in someone else's home. It might not be the type of space that you personally want for entertaining, whether because of clutter, a shirtless brother, an overly-friendly dog, etc.

You can certainly ask her if she'd be willing to put on a bra when he comes over, but she's under no obligation to accommodate your guests. If she says no, it's your responsibility to figure it out. Your opinion of her decision doesn't really have any relevance or carry any weight.

 

[Amy Lohter]

Ok fair enough. Just thought with certain tops she could wear one

 

[JCFantasy23]

As one poster said, I think mothers tend to embarrass daughters without meaning to. It's just the nature of things

 

[quatona]

Ok fair enough. Just thought with certain tops she could wear one

Is it common practice in your family to tell the other persons what and what not to wear?

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Maybe having a chat with your boyfriend about looking at your mum boobs?

 

[Radagast]

But i wish my mom would put a bra on / wear more suitable clothes when my boyfriend comes over

To me it seems rather strange behaviour on your mother's part when there's a visitor in the house.

I have no advice to give, however. Perhaps, as some people have suggested, you could spend more time away from the house.

 

[Dave-W]

And there's nothing i can really say to my dad about it. Would be even harder

OK I was going to suggest talking to your dad. I understand it may be difficult, but still may be the best way to go if you want it fixed up on your mom's side of the issue.

If dad was to see your bf ogling your mom's chest, ....

Maybe having a chat with your boyfriend about looking at your mum boobs?

If you have noticed that behavior (as clearly you have); it is definitely time to have that conversation.

 

[brinny]

To me it seems rather strange behaviour on your mother's part when there's a visitor in the house.

I have no advice to give, however. Perhaps, as some people have suggested, you could spend more time away from the house.

To me it seems rather strange behaviour on your mother's part when there's a visitor in the house.

This.

 

[WolfGate]

"Mom, this may just be my problem and all that, but I feel awkward when my boyfriend is over and you're going braless. I know it's your house and you're not doing anything wrong, but would you be willing to wear one when he is here? I realize I'm projecting me onto you since I wouldn't go braless with him around, but is that something you would consider doing for me so I will be more comfortable having him over?"

 

[tansy]

I suppose it's just possible your mum doesn't realise how much her nipples are showing in certain tops? Unless she's noticed hrelf in a mirror, she perhaps hasn't quite realised?
Or perhaps she wouldn't see a problem, anyhow...I don't know.