Am i turning into a pervert?

[HMSSydney]

Hi all, I think I am turning into a serious pervert, I just cant help looking at nice bodies as they walk the street or nice and sometimes stunning females at university or church. Am I the only one who struggles with this? I heard somewhere “the first time you look is innocent but the second look is evil”

I must confess that I enjoy looking at females, especially those who dress to be looked at, if everyone was to wear modest clothes it probably wouldn’t be a problem but we all know what goes on in our universities, churches and streets; tight jeans, tight tops and/or miniscule clothes don’t help.

Today as i was driving back home, i saw this stunning brunette wearing one of those nice but totally evil skirts (if you know what i mean by evil) well, traffic was moving slow and I thought I’d look, then it turned into staring and she caught me staring at her and gave me a funny look, (maybe I should have given her my number- lol) but seriously tho I felt really bad bacause I saw her as an object and not as a person.

It is so hard to stay physically pure and even harder to be psychologically pure. Is this the lesser of two evils? Any thoughts from gals or guys?

 

[DailyBlessings]

Well, it is something to fight against.

But you are not a pervert- the fact that you are so concerned about this really very minor fault, establishes that much. Most everyone has a sex drive.

 

[Evie]

Hi all, I think I am turning into a serious pervert, I just cant help looking at nice bodies as they walk the street or nice and sometimes stunning females at university or church. Am I the only one who struggles with this? I heard somewhere “the first time you look is innocent but the second look is evil”

I must confess that I enjoy looking at females, especially those who dress to be looked at, if everyone was to wear modest clothes it probably wouldn’t be a problem but we all know what goes on in our universities, churches and streets; tight jeans, tight tops and/or miniscule clothes don’t help.

Today as i was driving back home, i saw this stunning brunette wearing one of those nice but totally evil skirts (if you know what i mean by evil) well, traffic was moving slow and I thought I’d look, then it turned into staring and she caught me staring at her and gave me a funny look, (maybe I should have given her my number- lol) but seriously tho I felt really bad bacause I saw her as an object and not as a person.

It is so hard to stay physically pure and even harder to be psychologically pure. Is this the lesser of two evils? Any thoughts from gals or guys?

yep,your just normal. Don't fret over it.
God made us to look at the opposite sex,just becareful is does not turn to lust. Then that can lead to other things.

 

[MetalBlade]

Everybody does it. It's human nature.

 

[SOLDOUT4HIM]

It's hard to not look at the ladies, if something catches your eye look away. I've found that praying right away or singing a Christian/Worship song helps me keep my mind from running to a lustful thought after seeing a pretty lady. Pray that God gives you the strenght to stay strong and pure. I'll be praying for you bro!

 

[chanis]

dude you're such a pervert!

NOT...it's normal but just don't be all nasty about it ya know...

 

[Sketcher]

I wouldn't call that perverted, I'd call that normal. And self control is possible.

 

[AllTalkNoAction]

Yeah, lust is shallow & deceptive, you cannot serve 2 masters though, God's love is stronger, have you received it Sydney ?
That's NOT just having a love *for* God, it's a completely new love:-
Romans 5v5, Acts 2v4, 33, 39, Jude19-21

 

[fishstix]

You can admire beauty. Just be careful what you are thinking while you are looking. If you're thinking something along the lines of 'That is a really attractive looking person', you're probably ok. If you're thinking something along the lines of 'I'd really like to have sex with that', and allowing yourself to dwell on that thought and start mentally undressing the person or something, then you need to get your thoughts under control. If you find that you can't get your thoughts under control, that looking itself is a temptation, then you may need to force yourself not to look.

 

[TheBatman]

You can admire beauty. Just be careful what you are thinking while you are looking. If you're thinking something along the lines of 'That is a really attractive looking person', you're probably ok. If you're thinking something along the lines of 'I'd really like to have sex with that', and allowing yourself to dwell on that thought and start mentally undressing the person or something, then you need to get your thoughts under control. If you find that you can't get your thoughts under control, that looking itself is a temptation, then you may need to force yourself not to look.

I concur.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Learning to control your eyes is very important as a Christian guy. I would recommend reading "Every Man's Battle" by Fred Stoeker and Stephen Arterburn. This book talks about why it is important to not lust with your eyes and what you can do about. It will be very important if you are dating or get married because whoever you are with deserves to have your attention, and you should not be turning to stare at everyone woman that walks by. That is very disrespectuful. I could never be with a man who is not at least trying to control his eyes.

 

[Cordy]

Being attracted to the opposite gender is natural – not at all perverted. It is just something you have to learn how to express it and how to control it. When you start thinking sexual thoughts or see her as a thing, not a person, think “what if a guy thought of my sister that way” – or sidetrack yourself with something else – a car, what you had for dinner, what your pastor talked about in church etc. If you know the girl, think about things about her character to think beyond just what you see.

 

[California Dreamin']

I'm a girl... (obviously) and I sometimes look at other women and think they have a nice body but I don't think anything is wrong with that... Because I don't think of anything sexual or anything, I moreso think "Oh, that's what I'd like to look like".

 

[D'Ann]

You are very normal... what I noticed in your op is something better than normal... A conscience and also knowing that it is demeaning and hurtful to look at a woman as a "object". Some never learn that lesson and I'm grateful that you have.

My advice... pray as much as you can and do your best to look away... and in moments of weakness... try and close your eyes and think of a prayer like "Our Father" or something that will help guide your mind onto heavenly things...

God's blessings and peace and goodness be with you throughout your life.

 

[xxclixxx]

EVERY MANS BATTLE

Very few guys DONT have a problem with this, and yes it is a problem. No you aren't perverted, but learning to "bounce the eyes" is a must. Letting in the second glances can EASILY lead you down a perverted road. It can start out as a "oh she looks nice" second glance, and become a constant thought process, wherever you go getting a "high" from checking out girls.

Also - be carefull about advice that says "it's normal just don't lust" coming from girls.. They generally don't have the sexual reactions guys have from looking, and so they can easily look at a guy and say he's cute without having any lust, but guys are wired totally different (so girls I'd suggest reading the book too so you understand what your brothers and future husband are going through, it'll probably change the way you dress =P)

 

[xxclixxx]

"When you start thinking sexual thoughts or see her as a thing, not a person, think “what if a guy thought of my sister that way” – or sidetrack yourself with something else"

It's easy to say that, but I've found with myself that once sexual thoughts are started, it is just about impossible to stop unless an outside force comes into play (like your cell phone ringing or a friend coming around the corner yelling "HEY WHATS UP").

 

[DailyBlessings]

"When you start thinking sexual thoughts or see her as a thing, not a person, think “what if a guy thought of my sister that way” – or sidetrack yourself with something else"

It's easy to say that, but I've found with myself that once sexual thoughts are started, it is just about impossible to stop unless an outside force comes into play (like your cell phone ringing or a friend coming around the corner yelling "HEY WHATS UP").

Also, if the strategy is not successful, thinking about family members every time you are aroused might not be the wisest idea... :o

 

[jko]

Everybody does it. It's human nature.

But does that mean it's alright to do? Sin is human nature, yet God hates sin and we are to be more like Christ. Yes, it is hard to not look at a beautiful woman, but when does it become lusting instead of recognizing beauty?

 

[ArmouredSaint]

you laid it out so nicely I need not post.

You can admire beauty. Just be careful what you are thinking while you are looking. If you're thinking something along the lines of 'That is a really attractive looking person', you're probably ok. If you're thinking something along the lines of 'I'd really like to have sex with that', and allowing yourself to dwell on that thought and start mentally undressing the person or something, then you need to get your thoughts under control. If you find that you can't get your thoughts under control, that looking itself is a temptation, then you may need to force yourself not to look.

 

[liveoutloud82]

Yep we all look at the opposite sex, just don't lust on those feelings.