The last time I officially got saved was Monday (August 31st). Then, like on other occasions previous, I really tried to "look" at Christ and open the door of my heart. I came to understand I was saved for real. But between my OCD and my wondering about whether my Christianity is all in my head and not in my heart, I can still question whether or not I am really saved.
Read Romans 9:30-33. The David Jeremiah Study Bible notes on 32-33 say:
"The Jews could not attain righteousness by the works of the law (Gal. 2:16, Phil. 3:9). Their rejection of the Messiah was clearly prophesied in Psalm 118:22 and Isaiah 28:16-19. Because Israel was committed to righteousness out of their works, they stumbled at the stumbling stone and fell over the offer of righteousness through faith in the finished work of Christ (1 Cor. 1:23; 1 Peter 2:6-8)."
Since understanding myself to be saved on Monday, I have switched out of full-time seeking salvation to going full steam ahead with other plans. My plans, of course, include Bible reading and prayer. But just this morning, on reading Romans 9 and the David Jeremiah study notes, I got to thinking: what if I'm still depending on myself for my salvation? What if I've stumbled at the stumbling block, just like the Jews? What if my having "sincerely" given my life to Christ is what I'm depending on, and I'm not really, in my heart, depending on Him?
One thing I've concluded is, being born again is a real, supernatural experience and phenomenon. One can have some psychological/mental/emotional experience, and call it salvation, without really being, supernaturally, born again.
Read Romans 9:30-33. The David Jeremiah Study Bible notes on 32-33 say:
"The Jews could not attain righteousness by the works of the law (Gal. 2:16, Phil. 3:9). Their rejection of the Messiah was clearly prophesied in Psalm 118:22 and Isaiah 28:16-19. Because Israel was committed to righteousness out of their works, they stumbled at the stumbling stone and fell over the offer of righteousness through faith in the finished work of Christ (1 Cor. 1:23; 1 Peter 2:6-8)."
Since understanding myself to be saved on Monday, I have switched out of full-time seeking salvation to going full steam ahead with other plans. My plans, of course, include Bible reading and prayer. But just this morning, on reading Romans 9 and the David Jeremiah study notes, I got to thinking: what if I'm still depending on myself for my salvation? What if I've stumbled at the stumbling block, just like the Jews? What if my having "sincerely" given my life to Christ is what I'm depending on, and I'm not really, in my heart, depending on Him?
One thing I've concluded is, being born again is a real, supernatural experience and phenomenon. One can have some psychological/mental/emotional experience, and call it salvation, without really being, supernaturally, born again.