Am I cursed? Does god really listen to me?

Anonymous162900

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I am a senior in high school and lately I’ve been feeling suicidal thoughts. I just feel lonely and want someone to talk to. I’ve never really had any friends, I’ve prayed to god for as long as I can remember but nothing seems to change. I spend most of my free time staring at the wall in my room wondering if anyone would care if I were to disappear. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t want to be here anymore. I wonder if god actually listens to my prayers. I just need guidance...
 

disciple Clint

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I am a senior in high school and lately I’ve been feeling suicidal thoughts. I just feel lonely and want someone to talk to. I’ve never really had any friends, I’ve prayed to god for as long as I can remember but nothing seems to change. I spend most of my free time staring at the wall in my room wondering if anyone would care if I were to disappear. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t want to be here anymore. I wonder if god actually listens to my prayers. I just need guidance...
Why not talk to your pastor and your church friends. If you are not attending church start and get active in the youth program. Remember you are loved by God, your family, and the friends that your are going to have in the near future. Blessings
 
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spiritfilledjm

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I'm 32 now...when I was 17 I felt the same way you did (on a lighter note, ah to be a young angsty teenager again)...and so I tried to kill myself. When I got out of the hospital I was greeted at school with friends literally jumping into my arms, I rededicated my life to God and life went up and up and up for a good while. I'm not going to lie and say things have been all sunshines and flowers, that's a lie. I've been divorced twice, have health issues, money problems, and some other issues. What's always kept me grounded though was that season in my life. Looking back on it and knowing that, by the grace of God, I kicked suicidal thoughts and depression's butt back to where it came from.

To make this more Christ-centric and not just happy joy joy motivational, the book that really helped me in this season was Ephesians, which a teen study bible that I used to have called "The book for those who feel abandoned and unloved." Read it...you're not alone.
 
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Anonymous162900

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Why not talk to your pastor and your church friends. If you are not attending church start and get active in the youth program. Remember you are loved by God, your family, and the friends that your are going to have in the near future. Blessings

I used to go to church every Wednesday and Sunday till my mom and dad decided to take a break from each other. Now I try to give every Wednesday. When I go to church I don’t talk to anyone besides my family. I feel out of place all the time when I go. I want to further my relationship with god but he never replies or impacts my life.
 
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Anonymous162900

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I'm 32 now...when I was 17 I felt the same way you did (on a lighter note, ah to be a young angsty teenager again)...and so I tried to kill myself. When I got out of the hospital I was greeted at school with friends literally jumping into my arms, I rededicated my life to God and life went up and up and up for a good while. I'm not going to lie and say things have been all sunshines and flowers, that's a lie. I've been divorced twice, have health issues, money problems, and some other issues. What's always kept me grounded though was that season in my life. Looking back on it and knowing that, by the grace of God, I kicked suicidal thoughts and depression's butt back to where it came from.

To make this more Christ-centric and not just happy joy joy motivational, the book that really helped me in this season was Ephesians, which a teen study bible that I used to have called "The book for those who feel abandoned and unloved." Read it...you're not alone.

Thank you for
Welcome to the forums, Anonymous. Are you a Christian?
Yes I am, well I try to be but my relationship with god seems to be out of place. I try to pray to him but I’m left with doubt as he never answers.
 
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Jesusismyking87!!

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I am a senior in high school and lately I’ve been feeling suicidal thoughts. I just feel lonely and want someone to talk to. I’ve never really had any friends, I’ve prayed to god for as long as I can remember but nothing seems to change. I spend most of my free time staring at the wall in my room wondering if anyone would care if I were to disappear. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t want to be here anymore. I wonder if god actually listens to my prayers. I just need guidance...

I know how it feels to not really feel like you don't have friends. I was thinking that when I was driving into work today and Jesus reminded me that he is the truest of a friend that I could ever ask for. No your not cursed your just in a season that will pass just prayer and seek Gods word also my inbox is always open friend.
 
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Anonymous162900

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I'm 32 now...when I was 17 I felt the same way you did (on a lighter note, ah to be a young angsty teenager again)...and so I tried to kill myself. When I got out of the hospital I was greeted at school with friends literally jumping into my arms, I rededicated my life to God and life went up and up and up for a good while. I'm not going to lie and say things have been all sunshines and flowers, that's a lie. I've been divorced twice, have health issues, money problems, and some other issues. What's always kept me grounded though was that season in my life. Looking back on it and knowing that, by the grace of God, I kicked suicidal thoughts and depression's butt back to where it came from.

To make this more Christ-centric and not just happy joy joy motivational, the book that really helped me in this season was Ephesians, which a teen study bible that I used to have called "The book for those who feel abandoned and unloved." Read it...you're not alone.

Thank you for your comment I will be sure to read the book. God bless you.
 
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Monk Brendan

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I am a senior in high school and lately I’ve been feeling suicidal thoughts. I just feel lonely and want someone to talk to. I’ve never really had any friends, I’ve prayed to god for as long as I can remember but nothing seems to change. I spend most of my free time staring at the wall in my room wondering if anyone would care if I were to disappear. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t want to be here anymore. I wonder if god actually listens to my prayers. I just need guidance...
Have you been to your school counsellor or doctor to discuss your concerns?

I suffered from clinical depression most of my life, until a nurse pointed out that is is not a moral or spiritual failure, but a CHEMICAL IMBALANCE that can be corrected with the proper med or meds.

I take my meds with an attitude of obedience and thankfulness to God for His provision for me.
 
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Jesusismyking87!!

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Have you been to your school counsellor or doctor to discuss your concerns?

I suffered from clinical depression most of my life, until a nurse pointed out that is is not a moral or spiritual failure, but a CHEMICAL IMBALANCE that can be corrected with the proper med or meds.

I take my meds with an attitude of obedience and thankfulness to God for His provision for me.

Amen
 
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Mark Quayle

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I am a senior in high school and lately I’ve been feeling suicidal thoughts. I just feel lonely and want someone to talk to. I’ve never really had any friends, I’ve prayed to god for as long as I can remember but nothing seems to change. I spend most of my free time staring at the wall in my room wondering if anyone would care if I were to disappear. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t want to be here anymore. I wonder if god actually listens to my prayers. I just need guidance...



"28 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.…" Matthew 11

"20 A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out." Matthew 12

"8 The Lord is kind and merciful.
He is patient and full of love." Psalm 103

As you learn about God, it becomes apparent that this life is not about you, but about God. He made you for his own purposes. THAT is worth living for. Why he is so patient and kind to me when I deserve the opposite, I can't understand.

Do a search for Thomas Blackshear's "Forgiven" painting, in which a man who has worn himself out trying to nail Jesus to the Cross, is sustained by Christ himself. That is me, having done all I can do to give him reason to anihilate me, but instead he keeps me going.
 
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SarahsKnight

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I am a senior in high school and lately I’ve been feeling suicidal thoughts. I just feel lonely and want someone to talk to. I’ve never really had any friends, I’ve prayed to god for as long as I can remember but nothing seems to change. I spend most of my free time staring at the wall in my room wondering if anyone would care if I were to disappear. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t want to be here anymore. I wonder if god actually listens to my prayers. I just need guidance...

Anonymous, I will not claim to speak for you since I admit I have never quite been in this terrible position that you describe, but surely, surely there is someone out there who would in fact care very much about you if you were no longer around. :(
 
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royal priest

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Yes I am, well I try to be but my relationship with god seems to be out of place. I try to pray to him but I’m left with doubt as he never answers.
You coming onto this forum to seek answers is actually a form of how God is going to answer your prayers. Many of His answers come in the form of causing us to seek His face more diligently. We see many examples of this in the Bible. God usually makes us have to wait for His answer. It will come in His time. This is part of how he helps us to grow in our trust and reliance upon Him. He calls us to endure nearly impossible circumstances, and just as we are about to break, He rescues us out of our misery. This trend is clearly seen in the life of David as you read the Psalms. God is the Savior and the power of His salvation is most realized when our need is greatest.
One thing that will help you to be patient in waiting for answers is to fill your prayers with thanksgiving. Gratitude is one of the best antidotes to discouragement.
 
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Richard T

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Proverbs 29:18 (KJV) 18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. As a high school senior who seems to be short on hope, I think the first part of the above scripture especially applies to you. You need a vision of what you are going to be doing the next year. Now you might have some plans already made, but if those plans are not appealing, or if you expect more of the same, then you need to upgrade those. Your entire life and choices on your own are before you. Believe me it will soon be different. At times it might even be worse, but God is on your side. I encourage you to start charting your course. Start by seeking God, voicing your problems, your concerns, your dreams. Begin to read the word and find some promises that you can use as a foundation to believe in. There is no such thing as an unimportant part in the body of Christ, do not give voice or place to the lies that try to continually hurt you. You are going to overcome. YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT!
As to the second part of the proverb, it refers to the obeying the laws of God. This too might seem overwhelming but fortunately, Jesus summed up the entire law by telling us to love God and love our neighbor. You can do more of this too, by putting aside your own feelings at times to reach out and see if there is anyone that you can assist. Help a neighbor, assist your parents or relative with something without being told, do anything that will help fulfill what Jesus asked us too and it will also help you on the path to happiness by taking the focus off you, and onto someone else.

Of course, many of the other things on this thread are excellent advice. There is a proverb for that as well:Proverbs 15:22 (KJV) 22 Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.
Your greatest counselor is the word of God but other Christian's advice can help make a difference too. Once again, you are going to make it! I pray you have both purpose and passion, especially in the things of God, that you learn how to overcome, that you will be a blessing to others and experience the peace and joy of God in your life as you learn to abide in Him. In Jesus name
 
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caring 2018

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Thank you for

Yes I am, well I try to be but my relationship with god seems to be out of place. I try to pray to him but I’m left with doubt as he never answers.

It is wonderful that you reached out on this forum. As you can see you are not alone. Many of have had similar struggles and we can relate. I have been a Christian since I was 17. I started to struggle with depression in my mid 20's. Being a Christian I couldn't understand why I was struggling with such darkness. Then as mentioned by Monk Brendan it is not something I could have controlled. It is a chemical imbalance in my brain. It took the right medication, therapy, and prayer to feel better. If you haven't already gone, I would recommend you go seek professional help. Here is a Christian counseling group that provides online counseling to help guide you to the right counselor in your area.
Counseling Services and Referrals I also learned that our 'mind is a battlefield' and we have to guard it with scripture. Here too is a book that brought me clarity about depression and how to get the Godly peace we all desire. Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers -
https://bit.ly/2IQhptu
Just remember God is always with you. He loves all of us. We will go through tough times, but he never leaves our side.

Psalm 34:17-18
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I will be praying for you. Try journaling your thoughts, it helps get them out of your mind and then make them prayers. You will be surprised how often God responds and we don't even realize it. Also, what helped me too was putting my concerns at the alter of God, what I mean by that is any bad thought, any concern, I would right down on a paper, then give it up to God by either putting the paper away, throwing it away, or even burning it. Through this symbolic act, I am saying to God, I am not longer concerned about this, I am going to give it to you and TRUST YOU. My favorite saying is GOD'S GOT THIS and GOD IS IN CONTROL!

Please continue to reach out here. We are here to support you and care for you. God Bless and lots of Hugs!
 
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