Thank you for
Yes I am, well I try to be but my relationship with god seems to be out of place. I try to pray to him but I’m left with doubt as he never answers.
It is wonderful that you reached out on this forum. As you can see you are not alone. Many of have had similar struggles and we can relate. I have been a Christian since I was 17. I started to struggle with depression in my mid 20's. Being a Christian I couldn't understand why I was struggling with such darkness. Then as mentioned by Monk Brendan it is not something I could have controlled. It is a chemical imbalance in my brain. It took the right medication, therapy, and prayer to feel better. If you haven't already gone, I would recommend you go seek professional help. Here is a Christian counseling group that provides online counseling to help guide you to the right counselor in your area.
Counseling Services and Referrals I also learned that our 'mind is a battlefield' and we have to guard it with scripture. Here too is a book that brought me clarity about depression and how to get the Godly peace we all desire. Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers -
https://bit.ly/2IQhptu
Just remember God is always with you. He loves all of us. We will go through tough times, but he never leaves our side.
Psalm 34:17-18
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
I will be praying for you. Try journaling your thoughts, it helps get them out of your mind and then make them prayers. You will be surprised how often God responds and we don't even realize it. Also, what helped me too was putting my concerns at the alter of God, what I mean by that is any bad thought, any concern, I would right down on a paper, then give it up to God by either putting the paper away, throwing it away, or even burning it. Through this symbolic act, I am saying to God, I am not longer concerned about this, I am going to give it to you and TRUST YOU. My favorite saying is GOD'S GOT THIS and GOD IS IN CONTROL!
Please continue to reach out here. We are here to support you and care for you. God Bless and lots of Hugs!