Am I cursed but I am christian

[Newme2017]

I always felt like there was a dark cloud on me. I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit. Everything I do, especially things that I feel that will edify myself, never succeeds. It just never happened or fails. For instance, I cannot seem to be able to finish school. Not because I am dumb but because there is always something or circumstance that makes me go backward. I feel like God is trying to reach out to me, there is a message, a blessing for me but I just seem to not be able to access God. There is something that blocks me from him.

In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?

This week I read Deuteronomy 28, it was the first time I read this part of the bible. And EVERYTHING that appears there concerning disobedience IS happening to my life. I mean everything from feeling confused, infectious disease, I cant see I cant hear. I have even sought medical assistance with that, and obviously they see nothing wrong. Everything I do is motive of laughter, people see me as a joke I am constantly humiliated by my actions. I have moved countries, literally, from continent to continent in the hope of starting a new life and the cycle repeats itself. ALWAYS FAILING. I feel like there is no end to this, i never seem to go to the next chapter, i am always revolving around the same place. I am spiritually blind and deaf. I have considered suicide, I have thought in the middle of despair, that maybe I am not cut to be christian I should choose something else. But, I understand that all of that is against God.

Sorry for the long essay, but I have tried talking to priests, pastors, deacons and nothing. I am looking for guidance in order to solve this issue.

Many thanks

 

[Muslim-UK]

I always felt like there was a dark cloud on me. I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit. Everything I do, especially things that I feel that will edify myself, never succeeds. It just never happened or fails. For instance, I cannot seem to be able to finish school. Not because I am dumb but because there is always something or circumstance that makes me go backward. I feel like God is trying to reach out to me, there is a message, a blessing for me but I just seem to not be able to access God. There is something that blocks me from him.

In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?

This week I read Deuteronomy 28, it was the first time I read this part of the bible. And EVERYTHING that appears there concerning disobedience IS happening to my life. I mean everything from feeling confused, infectious disease, I cant see I cant hear. I have even sought medical assistance with that, and obviously they see nothing wrong. Everything I do is motive of laughter, people see me as a joke I am constantly humiliated by my actions. I have moved countries, literally, from continent to continent in the hope of starting a new life and the cycle repeats itself. ALWAYS FAILING. I feel like there is no end to this, i never seem to go to the next chapter, i am always revolving around the same place. I am spiritually blind and deaf. I have considered suicide, I have thought in the middle of despair, that maybe I am not cut to be christian I should choose something else. But, I understand that all of that is against God.

Sorry for the long essay, but I have tried talking to priests, pastors, deacons and nothing. I am looking for guidance in order to solve this issue.

Many thanks

Always sad when people feel at a low that never seems to lift. You go to School, so are quite young and should never think of suicide. Things will get better, someone or something will come along and you will get the help or the boost you need to lift your spirits.

Whilst retaining your Christian faith, you may want to listen to some healing from the God of Abraham, peace be upon him. 30 mins listening in Arabic alone, (you can read the English translation before or after) but the audio should be in Arabic only:

laptop version:
Quran Explorer select the following; translation = hide, reciter = Mishari Rashid, or whatever voice appeals to you.

Start at chapter 1 and listen with headphones on medium vol for min 10 mins - 30 mins.

Quran - Recite & Listen Quran Online <<<has a Mobile phone option

It will lift your spirits and dispel any negative spirits that might be keeping you down. Repeat for 3-5 days, it can also be listened to before bed for 10-15 mins and will help you have a good nights rest, beats depression etc. Stayed blessed, and never give up hope.

 

[1watchman]

I always felt like there was a dark cloud on me. I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit. Everything I do, especially things that I feel that will edify myself, never succeeds. It just never happened or fails. For instance, I cannot seem to be able to finish school. Not because I am dumb but because there is always something or circumstance that makes me go backward. I feel like God is trying to reach out to me, there is a message, a blessing for me but I just seem to not be able to access God. There is something that blocks me from him.

In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?

This week I read Deuteronomy 28, it was the first time I read this part of the bible. And EVERYTHING that appears there concerning disobedience IS happening to my life. I mean everything from feeling confused, infectious disease, I cant see I cant hear. I have even sought medical assistance with that, and obviously they see nothing wrong. Everything I do is motive of laughter, people see me as a joke I am constantly humiliated by my actions. I have moved countries, literally, from continent to continent in the hope of starting a new life and the cycle repeats itself. ALWAYS FAILING. I feel like there is no end to this, i never seem to go to the next chapter, i am always revolving around the same place. I am spiritually blind and deaf. I have considered suicide, I have thought in the middle of despair, that maybe I am not cut to be christian I should choose something else. But, I understand that all of that is against God.

Sorry for the long essay, but I have tried talking to priests, pastors, deacons and nothing. I am looking for guidance in order to solve this issue.

Many thanks

I cannot see from your post that you are a real Christian ---just a general believer in God. That would explain your problems. Have you read John 1; John 3; John 14, and asked God to teach you more about that (and don't be reading in the Old Testament until you are a Christian)? When one has the Lord Jesus in their life they will have a sure resource ---though some such souls fail to regard the Lord when they have problems, so suffer a lot in their misery. Be sure, friend, that you know the Lord Jesus as your Savior and Lord of your life. Then the flesh can be handled and Satan will "flee from you" as God says. Look up always!

 

[1watchman]

Let me expand my thoughts, friend (which are very sound thoughts from Scripture). Seek out a fundamental Bible-only church fellowship and associate with real "born again" believers (as John 3) who can help you see how to surrender your life to the Lord Jesus, the Christ of God. You can also ask questions at the very sound web site: biblecounsel.net and get clear Bible counseling. Pray to God to teach you, and read daily the Gospels in a sound Bible, like the KJV or NKJV. Write me at my profile -Conversations, if you would like to talk personally.

 

[Michelle Moore]

I always felt like there was a dark cloud on me. I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit. Everything I do, especially things that I feel that will edify myself, never succeeds. It just never happened or fails. For instance, I cannot seem to be able to finish school. Not because I am dumb but because there is always something or circumstance that makes me go backward. I feel like God is trying to reach out to me, there is a message, a blessing for me but I just seem to not be able to access God. There is something that blocks me from him.

In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?

This week I read Deuteronomy 28, it was the first time I read this part of the bible. And EVERYTHING that appears there concerning disobedience IS happening to my life. I mean everything from feeling confused, infectious disease, I cant see I cant hear. I have even sought medical assistance with that, and obviously they see nothing wrong. Everything I do is motive of laughter, people see me as a joke I am constantly humiliated by my actions. I have moved countries, literally, from continent to continent in the hope of starting a new life and the cycle repeats itself. ALWAYS FAILING. I feel like there is no end to this, i never seem to go to the next chapter, i am always revolving around the same place. I am spiritually blind and deaf. I have considered suicide, I have thought in the middle of despair, that maybe I am not cut to be christian I should choose something else. But, I understand that all of that is against God.

Sorry for the long essay, but I have tried talking to priests, pastors, deacons and nothing. I am looking for guidance in order to solve this issue.

Many thanks

 

[Michelle Moore]

Newmember2017,
I feel exactly exactly the same thing. Don't let anybody tell you that it's all in your imagination, which is what they mean when they tell you it's just your lack of faith. I believe there may be something blocking you and I from God's presence and blessing. But I also believe that God is faithful and will answer you if you persevere in prayer and ask Him to show you what the problem is and what to do about it, because he wants no one to perish. He will do everything he can to help you out of your current situation, if you keep asking. What really encourages me to keep living, keep trying, keep seeking, keep believing, is some of the promises to unfaithful Israel in the prophetic books, like Lamentations, Isaiah, Zedekiah, really they all have promises. Promises of restoration, of healing, of freedom from captivity, of closeness to God, of purification from sin, of material blessing and victory. God will do it and you have to believe he has a future for you if you are going to have any hope for yourself. There may be punishment involved in your current failures (I realize you posted this 3 years ago, so maybe God has already changed your life), but sometimes God simply hides his face from us to teach us something good in the long run, like faith, perseverance. He may be growing your faith. There is always a delay before God's promises are fulfilled so please please do not give up your hope and faith, because God is your only real hope, even though He may be also the source of your current pain. He has a plan and a reason for everything and He loves you and will not ever give you up unless you give up first. He sees the end from the beginning and knows exactly what you need and his ultimate purpose is your salvation and happiness so please keep having faith for today and for the future!
Sorry for this long post but your post really touched me and I understand where you're coming from. I created an account just to answer you (I'm just a few years late) and I guess I'm really preaching to my own self here!