All my struggling with ocd (condemn)

[Grace1234]

I have already make a post about afraid to be condemn already.But I also want to give you more detail about my ocd story.
For your information, this is my ocd story.
I have been ocd for 8 years since I remembered. Almost of it was religious ocd. Making vows and swear is something so common to me. My thought always pop up to making vows with something I fear the most. I can't control my action
because of fear. My ocd always told me to do something I don't want to. Most of it I follow to reduce my anxiety. Some I didn't follow. But I overcome those because I could find reassurance everytimes. The most common reassurance I used is that just my ocd and god knows my heart.In that times, I also got sleep paralysis with hearing scary laugh and scary nightmare. I didn't told anyone until last year, I attend to my churchs' camp. My church invite the foreigner to this camp too. In that camp, I have pray about my ocd. And that night, The pastors call alot of disorder to heal at the front. Suddenly, He said "mental illness and hearing voices" . I totally stand at the back and my family were about to leave.And also noone knows what I suffer.So I didn't go to the front. The day later, We have divided into a group. A group consist of teenager. And one foreigner talk to all of us said that God said somethings about people name Grace. Grace is familiar name, right. There are about 3 peoples stand. He said god let Him saw a picture of tape paste to a mouth. It might mean that you have something that never told anyone and you need to told. I crying. And later, there are other foreigner ask that "have anyone got anxiety and worried so much and can't do anythings, it likes there are someone in your head." I stand and cry again. Ocd control so much of my action, example I singing a song and my ocd told me to not sing orelse.......... And this situation makes me told my family what I have suffer and also one of my teacher in church. I started to learn about god more and also about this disorder. I also have attend "Amazing love festival" and I pray about my sleep paralysis and my sleep paralysis dissapear for a while.**If you have religious ocd, don't continue reading please. It would make your ocd worst.**
I read about unpardonable sin, and my blasphemy thought start to come with alot of doubt. I pray to telling me something in dream. I always pray but most of it, nothing happened. I also have a dream(close my eyes and suddenly the picture appear)of someone giving an apples and god (picture of what in movies) closing a door .I think it was my anxiety cause that, but I also worried about it sometimes.
I saw a story about ocd fear to sold a soul
and as normal ocd fear depends what you feared. And this story might be interested by my ocd. My fear develop to sold a soul.
And as more detail I got, it can happens in dream. I have dreamed about 10 times that I have sold my soul. Later, I found that ocd can affect dream and alot of people expereince it too. Okay, I didn't fear of intrusive thought and dream. The fear go to hearing voices. My most important thing is be an exchange student abroad. My ocd let me suffer of sold a soul to pass the exam, to get the great host family and freinds. However, I have pass the exam.But Actually, I always got a good scored and I'm a top range in the class. So I think it is my ability. My ocd makes me make a vows don't go to exchange orelse I would be condemn. And some vows that opposite.
Sometimes, I don't sure are those thoughts(vows, blasphemy, sold a.soul),
I make with my will or ocd, If I make with my will.Would god forgive me?
I have sleep paralysis again and hearing voices. I have heard phrases alot of unclear and some I can't remember. But clearly one said "I love you, welcome home." also another unclear phrases which are
1.This is why jesus2........anxiety......praise.....
I only hearing voices when nearing sleep.
And one night, some phrases and syllable of my thought turn to audio. After those audio thought dissapear for a while I think I heard somethings like Don't go to exchange, orelse you will be condemn. I don't sure about sentences because I can't remember clearly. I was crying all that day so I get tried and headache.After I heard that voices,I thought that I have no energy to deal with it so I sleep But I sure I heard some voices.The night later, I woke up at night and my thought pop up " Go to exchange, orelse you will be condemn." I don't sure that I have heard any voices or not. But I think not. My mind keep telling me yes,I have. If you were me, would you go to exchange?(It used to be my dream, but now not)What you think those voices from? From the information above, would you think I will be condemn? Has God forsake me?

 

[Aussie Pete]

I have already make a post about afraid to be condemn already.But I also want to give you more detail about my ocd story.
For your information, this is my ocd story.
I have been ocd for 8-9 years since I remembered. Almost of it was religious ocd. Making vows and swear is something so common to me. My thought always pop up to making vows with something I fear the most. I can't control my action
because of fear. My ocd always told me to do something I don't want to. Most of it I follow to reduce my anxiety. Some I didn't follow. But I overcome those because I could find reassurance everytimes. The most common reassurance I used is that just my ocd and god knows my heart.In that times, I also got sleep paralysis with hearing scary laugh and scary nightmare. I didn't told anyone until last year, I attend to my churchs' camp. My church invite the foreigner to this camp too. In that camp, I have pray about my ocd. And that night, The pastors call alot of disorder to heal at the front. Suddenly, He said "mental illness and hearing voices" . I totally stand at the back and my family were about to leave.And also noone knows what I suffer.So I didn't go to the front. The day later, We have divided into a group. A group consist of teenager. And one foreigner talk to all of us said that God said somethings about people name Grace. Grace is familiar name, right. There are about 3 peoples stand. He said god let Him saw a picture of tape paste to a mouth. It might mean that you have something that never told anyone and you need to told. I crying. And later, there are other foreigner ask that "have anyone got anxiety and worried so much and can't do anythings, it likes there are someone in your head." I stand and cry again. Ocd control so much of my action, example I have sing a song and my ocd don't sing orelse.......... And this situation makes me told my family what I have suffer and also one of my teacher in church. I started to learn about god more and also about this disorder. I also have attend "Amazing love festival" and I pray about my sleep paralysis and my sleep paralysis dissapear for a while.**If you have religious ocd, don't continue reading please. It would make your ocd worst.**
I read about unpardonable sin, and my blasphemy thought start to come with alot of doubt. I pray to telling me something in dream. I always pray but most of it, nothing happened. I also have a dream(close my eyes and suddenly the picture appear)of someone giving an apples and god (picture of what in movies) closing a door .I think it was my anxiety cause that, but I also worried about it sometimes.
I saw a story about ocd fear to sold a soul
and as normal ocd fear depends what you feared. And this story might be interested by my ocd. My fear develop to sold a soul.
And as more detail I got, it can happens in dream. I have dreamed about 10 times that I have sold my soul. Later, I found that ocd can affect dream and alot of people expereince it too. Okay, I didn't fear of intrusive thought and dream. The fear go to hearing voices. My most important thing is be an exchange student abroad. My ocd let me suffer of sold a soul to pass the exam, to get the great host family and freinds. However, I have pass the exam.But Actually, I always got a good scored and I'm a top range in the class. So I think it is my ability. My ocd makes me make a vows don't go to exchange orelse I would be condemn. And some vows that opposite.
Sometimes, I don't sure are those thoughts(vows, blasphemy, sold a.soul),
I make with my will or ocd, If I make with my will.Would god forgive me?
I have sleep paralysis again and hearing voices. I have heard phrases alot of unclear and some I can't remember. But clearly one said "I love you, welcome home." also another unclear phrases that
1.This is why jesus2........anxiety......praise.....
I only hearing voices when nearing sleep.
And one night, some phrases and syllable of my thought turn to audio. After those audio thought dissapear for a while I think I heard somethings like Don't go to exchange, orelse you will be condemn. I don't sure about sentences because I can't remember clearly. I was crying all that day so I get tried and headache.After I heard that voices,I thought that I have no energy to deal with it so I sleep But I sure I heard some voices.The night later, I woke up at night and my thought pop up " Go to exchange, orelse you will be condemn." I don't sure that I have heard any voices or not. But I think not. My mind keep telling me yes,I have. If you were me, would you go to exchange?(It used to be my dream, but now not)What you think those voices from? From the information above, would you think I will be condemn? Has God forsake me?

You can trust God's word absolutely. Voices are lies and deceptions and have only brought you grief. God's word assures you that He will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5).

There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). If you are worried that you might have committed the unpardonable sin, you have not.

You do need help to be set free from the voices and the other problems that you suffer. But God is on your side. He loves you and wants to set you free. Even if you make a mistake, God will forgive you and turn it around for your good.

I had a similar problem for 6 months, many years ago. I did not sleep more than a couple of hours a night. God brought me through that ordeal. He will do the same for you.

Evil spirits have access to our minds, if we permit them. Mostly it is through lack of knowing where the thoughts come from. You can command the thoughts to stop in Jesus name. You do need to find a Christian who can help you and pray with you. God will lead you if you ask Him.

 

[Grace1234]

You can trust God's word absolutely. Voices are lies and deceptions and have only brought you grief. God's word assures you that He will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5).

There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). If you are worried that you might have committed the unpardonable sin, you have not.

You do need help to be set free from the voices and the other problems that you suffer. But God is on your side. He loves you and wants to set you free. Even if you make a mistake, God will forgive you and turn it around for your good.

I had a similar problem for 6 months, many years ago. I did not sleep more than a couple of hours a night. God brought me through that ordeal. He will do the same for you.

Evil spirits have access to our minds, if we permit them. Mostly it is through lack of knowing where the thoughts come from. You can command the thoughts to stop in Jesus name. You do need to find a Christian who can help you and pray with you. God will lead you if you ask Him.

Thank you so much. You encouraged me.
I always feel sad and empty and I don't know how to overcome those feeling and thought.
Sometimes I think I can overcome it, but those situation likes blasphemy always pop up and make me worried so much. I don't sure are those come from my ocd. But anyway god will forgive me, right? I always pray to confess my sin,but I think god might not forgive me because I'm not feeling of repentance enough.(mostly, i think it was ocd so I feel that I'm not feeling of repentance enough and god might not forgive me.)
*sorry for my bad english

 

[Aussie Pete]

Thank you so much. You encouraged me.
I always feel sad and empty and I don't know how to overcome those feeling and thought.
Sometimes I think I can overcome it, but those situation likes blasphemy always pop up and make me worried so much. I don't sure are those come from my ocd. But anyway god will forgive me, right? I always pray to confess my sin,but I think god might not forgive me because I'm not feeling of repentance enough.(mostly, i think it was ocd so I feel that I'm not feeling of repentance enough and god might not forgive me.)
*sorry for my bad english

Hey, your English is much better than my Thai. God will forgive you. All you have to do is confess that you are wrong. The precious blood of Jesus has already paid for all your sins. God sees your heart and knows your struggles. He will bring you through them to a place of freedom that may seem impossible now. Just keep close to Him and keep asking for His help. It's not your job to overcome. Lord Jesus is your victory. As you trust Him with your life, you will get to know Him better. Feelings can be deceptive. You need to stand on the truth of God's word. Do you read the Bible much? There is much help there.

 

[Mari17]

I have already make a post about afraid to be condemn already.But I also want to give you more detail about my ocd story.
For your information, this is my ocd story.
I have been ocd for 8 years since I remembered. Almost of it was religious ocd. Making vows and swear is something so common to me. My thought always pop up to making vows with something I fear the most. I can't control my action
because of fear. My ocd always told me to do something I don't want to. Most of it I follow to reduce my anxiety. Some I didn't follow. But I overcome those because I could find reassurance everytimes. The most common reassurance I used is that just my ocd and god knows my heart.In that times, I also got sleep paralysis with hearing scary laugh and scary nightmare. I didn't told anyone until last year, I attend to my churchs' camp. My church invite the foreigner to this camp too. In that camp, I have pray about my ocd. And that night, The pastors call alot of disorder to heal at the front. Suddenly, He said "mental illness and hearing voices" . I totally stand at the back and my family were about to leave.And also noone knows what I suffer.So I didn't go to the front. The day later, We have divided into a group. A group consist of teenager. And one foreigner talk to all of us said that God said somethings about people name Grace. Grace is familiar name, right. There are about 3 peoples stand. He said god let Him saw a picture of tape paste to a mouth. It might mean that you have something that never told anyone and you need to told. I crying. And later, there are other foreigner ask that "have anyone got anxiety and worried so much and can't do anythings, it likes there are someone in your head." I stand and cry again. Ocd control so much of my action, example I singing a song and my ocd told me to not sing orelse.......... And this situation makes me told my family what I have suffer and also one of my teacher in church. I started to learn about god more and also about this disorder. I also have attend "Amazing love festival" and I pray about my sleep paralysis and my sleep paralysis dissapear for a while.**If you have religious ocd, don't continue reading please. It would make your ocd worst.**
I read about unpardonable sin, and my blasphemy thought start to come with alot of doubt. I pray to telling me something in dream. I always pray but most of it, nothing happened. I also have a dream(close my eyes and suddenly the picture appear)of someone giving an apples and god (picture of what in movies) closing a door .I think it was my anxiety cause that, but I also worried about it sometimes.
I saw a story about ocd fear to sold a soul
and as normal ocd fear depends what you feared. And this story might be interested by my ocd. My fear develop to sold a soul.
And as more detail I got, it can happens in dream. I have dreamed about 10 times that I have sold my soul. Later, I found that ocd can affect dream and alot of people expereince it too. Okay, I didn't fear of intrusive thought and dream. The fear go to hearing voices. My most important thing is be an exchange student abroad. My ocd let me suffer of sold a soul to pass the exam, to get the great host family and freinds. However, I have pass the exam.But Actually, I always got a good scored and I'm a top range in the class. So I think it is my ability. My ocd makes me make a vows don't go to exchange orelse I would be condemn. And some vows that opposite.
Sometimes, I don't sure are those thoughts(vows, blasphemy, sold a.soul),
I make with my will or ocd, If I make with my will.Would god forgive me?
I have sleep paralysis again and hearing voices. I have heard phrases alot of unclear and some I can't remember. But clearly one said "I love you, welcome home." also another unclear phrases which are
1.This is why jesus2........anxiety......praise.....
I only hearing voices when nearing sleep.
And one night, some phrases and syllable of my thought turn to audio. After those audio thought dissapear for a while I think I heard somethings like Don't go to exchange, orelse you will be condemn. I don't sure about sentences because I can't remember clearly. I was crying all that day so I get tried and headache.After I heard that voices,I thought that I have no energy to deal with it so I sleep But I sure I heard some voices.The night later, I woke up at night and my thought pop up " Go to exchange, orelse you will be condemn." I don't sure that I have heard any voices or not. But I think not. My mind keep telling me yes,I have. If you were me, would you go to exchange?(It used to be my dream, but now not)What you think those voices from? From the information above, would you think I will be condemn? Has God forsake me?

These are very common obsessions for people with OCD! I think you should go on the exchange, because if not, you're actually giving into your OCD. The way to overcome the OCD is to work against it, to NOT do the things that it wants you to do. Do you have any help for your OCD (medications, therapy?). Regardless, there is a lot you can do to learn about OCD, and learn about strategies for dealing with these thoughts and fears that come into your head. OCD is such a discouraging disorder, but there's lots of hope for living victoriously over it!

 

[Grace1234]

Hey, your English is much better than my Thai. God will forgive you. All you have to do is confess that you are wrong. The precious blood of Jesus has already paid for all your sins. God sees your heart and knows your struggles. He will bring you through them to a place of freedom that may seem impossible now. Just keep close to Him and keep asking for His help. It's not your job to overcome. Lord Jesus is your victory. As you trust Him with your life, you will get to know Him better. Feelings can be deceptive. You need to stand on the truth of God's word. Do you read the Bible much? There is much help there.

Actually, I'm not reading much bible. But this situation make me want to read it so much.
Thank you so much. I always believe that god knows my heart, but some coincidence make me worried. But I will finish the bible as soon as possible, I knows it would help me.

 

[Grace1234]

These are very common obsessions for people with OCD! I think you should go on the exchange, because if not, you're actually giving into your OCD. The way to overcome the OCD is to work against it, to NOT do the things that it wants you to do. Do you have any help for your OCD (medications, therapy?). Regardless, there is a lot you can do to learn about OCD, and learn about strategies for dealing with these thoughts and fears that come into your head. OCD is such a discouraging disorder, but there's lots of hope for living victoriously over it!

Thank you so much. I want to know that are hearing voices and saw a (I don't know what to called, it isn't a dream. It appear when I'm close my eyes, although I didn't sleep yet.) are common for Ocd because I have read alot on Internet but didn't find any of this case?

 

[Mari17]

Thank you so much. I want to know that are hearing voices and saw a (I don't know what to called, it isn't a dream. It appear when I'm close my eyes, although I didn't sleep yet.) are common for Ocd because I have read alot on Internet but didn't find any of this case?

I think it's very common for those of us with OCD to latch onto feelings or things we hear/see as "confirmation" that our obsession is true, when really it's all just coincidence. When I'm obsessing, I think/dream a lot more about my obsessive topic, and get strong feelings about it, and I worry that those things are "signs." But really, all it means is that I'm thinking about the topic so much that I keep getting thoughts/dreams/feelings about it. That's all.

 

[Grace1234]

I think it's very common for those of us with OCD to latch onto feelings or things we hear/see as "confirmation" that our obsession is true, when really it's all just coincidence. When I'm obsessing, I think/dream a lot more about my obsessive topic, and get strong feelings about it, and I worry that those things are "signs." But really, all it means is that I'm thinking about the topic so much that I keep getting thoughts/dreams/feelings about it. That's all.

Thank you so much. I will try to get rid of my anxiety. It is terrible that my thought always told me that I have done an unpardonable sin and god might forsake me. Actually, before I saw a dream of god closing door. I have pray to god to let dream told something likes if I still have chance to be saved(door open) and if no(door closing) so it terrible when I have a dream(the picture appears before I sleep, suddely when I closed my eyes.) that doors' close. It has happened since long time ago.When I open my eyes, I just thought that I would find a key to open. And then my anxiety get away. But, I have remembered this situation last 2 weeks and still can't stop worried. I would thank you so much, if you could write somethings to me.

 

[Mari17]

Thank you so much. I will try to get rid of my anxiety. It is terrible that my thought always told me that I have done an unpardonable sin and god might forsake me. Actually, before I saw a dream of god closing door. I have pray to god to let dream told something likes if I still have chance to be saved(door open) and if no(door closing) so it terrible when I have a dream(the picture appears before I sleep, suddely when I closed my eyes.) that doors' close. It has happened since long time ago.When I open my eyes, I just thought that I would find a key to open. And then my anxiety get away. But, I have remembered this situation last 2 weeks and still can't stop worried. I would thank you so much, if you could write somethings to me.

When we have OCD, we have to learn not to put too much stock in things like dreams and "signs," since our minds often bring up these images at random and they don't really mean anything.