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Alcoholism is ruining my marriage

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I posted this in another thread but am hoping I can reach people here who have experienced alcoholism firsthand or through a family member.

My husband and I have been married almost 13 years. We have both been married before. He has three grown sons from his first marriage. His drinking has been an issue since we married. I am also an alcoholic. I have been sober for almost four years. He has go back and forth. Recently he began drinking again. He did it on the sly, and I noticed and later (when he was sober) called him on it. He minimized it and said it has only happened a few times and he does not need AA or want to go back to it.

A few years ago, we got into a car accident and he got a DUI. I did not know he had been drinking when I got into the car. As a result of this accident (and a lot of other stuff that happened), I moved out for a few months. He got sober and agreed to that our marriage cannot survive if either of us drinks. Besides the obvious issues, for us alcohol is a sin that separates us from Christ. It opens the door to a bunch of other sinful behavior.

I am not sure how long he actually stayed sober, because he does not tell my the truth about his drinking. Last summer we moved to a new state and he began a new job. He admitted he drank when he got to the new town. (I was still at our home trying to sell our house so I didn't join him for a month). Long story short, I asked him if he would agree to go to counseling with the pastor at our new church. He agreed. He met with him by himself a few weeks ago. Yesterday we met with the pastor together.

Overall, the meeting was ok although it didn't start very well. The pastor began by asking me is there was physical abuse in my childhood (there was emotional abuse but not really physical beyond the occasional drunken slap). He asked the same about my marriage. Again, it's more emotional/verbal, not physical. I said no, and he said then I have no biblical basis for divorce.

I had not said I wanted a divorce, nor do I, so I'm not sure why he led with this unless my husband mentioned it in their previous one-on-one session. Anyway, the pastor spent the rest of the time describing the husband and wife roles as described in scripture. He told my husband to stop drinking and to not bring alcohol into our home, including being under the influence. He told him to love me and be the leader of the home.

The pastor told me I need to commit to my husband that I will not divorce him no matter what, because one of our trust issues is that my husband fears I will leave. The pastor said I need to fully commit to the marriage, meaning divorce is not an option, and I need to submit to my husband and respect him (if I intend to follow Christ).

I understand what the pastor is saying--and I absolutely want to follow Christ and fulfill my Biblical role as a wife. However, I do not want to enable my husband or give him tacit approval to drink with impunity. I told this to the pastor and also mentioned that when I left my husband a few years ago, he got sober. He later told me that if I hadn't have left, he would've kept drinking.

I know I am as sick as my husband because I've been affected by his alcoholism and my parents throughout my childhood. I also realize I am a sinner whose only redemption is through Jesus Christ, and I need to show compassion and support to my husband. But I am worried that the pastor minimized the impact my husband's alcoholism has had on our marriage. In fact, I'm not sure he understands alcoholism at all (although he said his brother was an alcoholic).

I do not want to go back to Alanon because some of the women there have left their husbands. I don't know if they are Christians, but I don't want to be influenced by them to sin. Having said that, I was getting a lot of support there. When I went to the meetings, I didn't feel as hopeless and alone. I also have serious codependency traits due to growing up in an alcoholic home. I know I am part of the problem; it is not just my husband.

I have been praying so much about this, reading the Word, listening to sermons and just trying to connect with God. I honestly don't know where He is taking me with all of this, but some days I feel like I can't take much more. Today I was driving down the highway and I had this thought of just turning the wheel a little and driving into the barricade. I wouldn't be hurting anyone else. I just feel so tired and defeated.

I don't want to be a victim. I realize I probably sound that way, but I don't think of it like that. I am trying to honor my marriage and love my husband, despite his illness, weaknesses. I certainly have enough of my own.

If there are any women out there who have been in a similar situation and could PM me, I would appreciate it very much. I feel so very stressed and alone. I don't know where to turn. I am about to start with a new counselor next week. But I would also really appreciate the perspective of Christian women who have been through something similar.
 

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To over come a addiction you have to put 100 % effort in overcoming it. realizing that your life has a higher purpose to serve God. The higher meaning that the man is the head of the household is God the Father is the man and we are the Bride Of Christ .Your husband is taking you down in a downward spiral he is overcome with the demons of addiction you have a right to leave hold the vision he can change , but thats his choice again . Jesus told us to love God with all our hearts , souls and minds meaning put God before anything or anyone .You have a right to tell him "You may chose to continue down this path of alcoholism , but I have a right to choose not to follow you and let your choice effect me and therefore I must leave you behind and move on " Seek first the kingdom of God that is within in you and the answers will come to your heart what to do.
 
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SkyWriting

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I posted this in another thread but am hoping I can reach people here who have experienced alcoholism firsthand or through a family member.

My husband and I have been married almost 13 years. We have both been married before. He has three grown sons from his first marriage. His drinking has been an issue since we married. I am also an alcoholic. I have been sober for almost four years. He has go back and forth. Recently he began drinking again. He did it on the sly, and I noticed and later (when he was sober) called him on it. He minimized it and said it has only happened a few times and he does not need AA or want to go back to it.

A few years ago, we got into a car accident and he got a DUI. I did not know he had been drinking when I got into the car. As a result of this accident (and a lot of other stuff that happened), I moved out for a few months. He got sober and agreed to that our marriage cannot survive if either of us drinks. Besides the obvious issues, for us alcohol is a sin that separates us from Christ. It opens the door to a bunch of other sinful behavior.

I am not sure how long he actually stayed sober, because he does not tell my the truth about his drinking. Last summer we moved to a new state and he began a new job. He admitted he drank when he got to the new town. (I was still at our home trying to sell our house so I didn't join him for a month). Long story short, I asked him if he would agree to go to counseling with the pastor at our new church. He agreed. He met with him by himself a few weeks ago. Yesterday we met with the pastor together.

Overall, the meeting was ok although it didn't start very well. The pastor began by asking me is there was physical abuse in my childhood (there was emotional abuse but not really physical beyond the occasional drunken slap). He asked the same about my marriage. Again, it's more emotional/verbal, not physical. I said no, and he said then I have no biblical basis for divorce.

I had not said I wanted a divorce, nor do I, so I'm not sure why he led with this unless my husband mentioned it in their previous one-on-one session. Anyway, the pastor spent the rest of the time describing the husband and wife roles as described in scripture. He told my husband to stop drinking and to not bring alcohol into our home, including being under the influence. He told him to love me and be the leader of the home.

The pastor told me I need to commit to my husband that I will not divorce him no matter what, because one of our trust issues is that my husband fears I will leave. The pastor said I need to fully commit to the marriage, meaning divorce is not an option, and I need to submit to my husband and respect him (if I intend to follow Christ).

I understand what the pastor is saying--and I absolutely want to follow Christ and fulfill my Biblical role as a wife. However, I do not want to enable my husband or give him tacit approval to drink with impunity. I told this to the pastor and also mentioned that when I left my husband a few years ago, he got sober. He later told me that if I hadn't have left, he would've kept drinking.

I know I am as sick as my husband because I've been affected by his alcoholism and my parents throughout my childhood. I also realize I am a sinner whose only redemption is through Jesus Christ, and I need to show compassion and support to my husband. But I am worried that the pastor minimized the impact my husband's alcoholism has had on our marriage. In fact, I'm not sure he understands alcoholism at all (although he said his brother was an alcoholic).

I do not want to go back to Alanon because some of the women there have left their husbands. I don't know if they are Christians, but I don't want to be influenced by them to sin. Having said that, I was getting a lot of support there. When I went to the meetings, I didn't feel as hopeless and alone. I also have serious codependency traits due to growing up in an alcoholic home. I know I am part of the problem; it is not just my husband.

I have been praying so much about this, reading the Word, listening to sermons and just trying to connect with God. I honestly don't know where He is taking me with all of this, but some days I feel like I can't take much more. Today I was driving down the highway and I had this thought of just turning the wheel a little and driving into the barricade. I wouldn't be hurting anyone else. I just feel so tired and defeated.

I don't want to be a victim. I realize I probably sound that way, but I don't think of it like that. I am trying to honor my marriage and love my husband, despite his illness, weaknesses. I certainly have enough of my own.

If there are any women out there who have been in a similar situation and could PM me, I would appreciate it very much. I feel so very stressed and alone. I don't know where to turn. I am about to start with a new counselor next week. But I would also really appreciate the perspective of Christian women who have been through something similar.

Get into the habit of being in support groups.
Study about "Habits"

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life ... - Amazon.com
 
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paul becke

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I posted this in another thread but am hoping I can reach people here who have experienced alcoholism firsthand or through a family member.

My husband and I have been married almost 13 years. We have both been married before. He has three grown sons from his first marriage. His drinking has been an issue since we married. I am also an alcoholic. I have been sober for almost four years. He has go back and forth. Recently he began drinking again. He did it on the sly, and I noticed and later (when he was sober) called him on it. He minimized it and said it has only happened a few times and he does not need AA or want to go back to it.

A few years ago, we got into a car accident and he got a DUI. I did not know he had been drinking when I got into the car. As a result of this accident (and a lot of other stuff that happened), I moved out for a few months. He got sober and agreed to that our marriage cannot survive if either of us drinks. Besides the obvious issues, for us alcohol is a sin that separates us from Christ. It opens the door to a bunch of other sinful behavior.

I am not sure how long he actually stayed sober, because he does not tell my the truth about his drinking. Last summer we moved to a new state and he began a new job. He admitted he drank when he got to the new town. (I was still at our home trying to sell our house so I didn't join him for a month). Long story short, I asked him if he would agree to go to counseling with the pastor at our new church. He agreed. He met with him by himself a few weeks ago. Yesterday we met with the pastor together.

Overall, the meeting was ok although it didn't start very well. The pastor began by asking me is there was physical abuse in my childhood (there was emotional abuse but not really physical beyond the occasional drunken slap). He asked the same about my marriage. Again, it's more emotional/verbal, not physical. I said no, and he said then I have no biblical basis for divorce.

I had not said I wanted a divorce, nor do I, so I'm not sure why he led with this unless my husband mentioned it in their previous one-on-one session. Anyway, the pastor spent the rest of the time describing the husband and wife roles as described in scripture. He told my husband to stop drinking and to not bring alcohol into our home, including being under the influence. He told him to love me and be the leader of the home.

The pastor told me I need to commit to my husband that I will not divorce him no matter what, because one of our trust issues is that my husband fears I will leave. The pastor said I need to fully commit to the marriage, meaning divorce is not an option, and I need to submit to my husband and respect him (if I intend to follow Christ).

I understand what the pastor is saying--and I absolutely want to follow Christ and fulfill my Biblical role as a wife. However, I do not want to enable my husband or give him tacit approval to drink with impunity. I told this to the pastor and also mentioned that when I left my husband a few years ago, he got sober. He later told me that if I hadn't have left, he would've kept drinking.

I know I am as sick as my husband because I've been affected by his alcoholism and my parents throughout my childhood. I also realize I am a sinner whose only redemption is through Jesus Christ, and I need to show compassion and support to my husband. But I am worried that the pastor minimized the impact my husband's alcoholism has had on our marriage. In fact, I'm not sure he understands alcoholism at all (although he said his brother was an alcoholic).

I do not want to go back to Alanon because some of the women there have left their husbands. I don't know if they are Christians, but I don't want to be influenced by them to sin. Having said that, I was getting a lot of support there. When I went to the meetings, I didn't feel as hopeless and alone. I also have serious codependency traits due to growing up in an alcoholic home. I know I am part of the problem; it is not just my husband.

I have been praying so much about this, reading the Word, listening to sermons and just trying to connect with God. I honestly don't know where He is taking me with all of this, but some days I feel like I can't take much more. Today I was driving down the highway and I had this thought of just turning the wheel a little and driving into the barricade. I wouldn't be hurting anyone else. I just feel so tired and defeated.

I don't want to be a victim. I realize I probably sound that way, but I don't think of it like that. I am trying to honor my marriage and love my husband, despite his illness, weaknesses. I certainly have enough of my own.

If there are any women out there who have been in a similar situation and could PM me, I would appreciate it very much. I feel so very stressed and alone. I don't know where to turn. I am about to start with a new counselor next week. But I would also really appreciate the perspective of Christian women who have been through something similar.
 
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paul becke

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You are a saint, rjf. I find it difficult to understand a husband who could cause his wife such grief and suffering, essentially through fecklessness. Even now, he can only think of himself... fear you will leave him. Is self-pity a feature of his self-absorption, by the way ?

I don't even want to reflect on what I think of his character, so I must leave it at that. John Bowen's post seems to me to make a lot of sense, though. You will know that recovering from alcoholism makes demands on your interior prayer life, living not only one day at a time, but one moment at a time - not wildly dissimilar to the call to the interior life of a devout monk or nun.

Incidentally, you might find a book called, Abandonment to Divine Providence by the Abbot Marmion on the subject of what he calls, 'the sacrament of the present moment', interesting.
 
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patrick jane

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I posted this in another thread but am hoping I can reach people here who have experienced alcoholism firsthand or through a family member.

My husband and I have been married almost 13 years. We have both been married before. He has three grown sons from his first marriage. His drinking has been an issue since we married. I am also an alcoholic. I have been sober for almost four years. He has go back and forth. Recently he began drinking again. He did it on the sly, and I noticed and later (when he was sober) called him on it. He minimized it and said it has only happened a few times and he does not need AA or want to go back to it.

A few years ago, we got into a car accident and he got a DUI. I did not know he had been drinking when I got into the car. As a result of this accident (and a lot of other stuff that happened), I moved out for a few months. He got sober and agreed to that our marriage cannot survive if either of us drinks. Besides the obvious issues, for us alcohol is a sin that separates us from Christ. It opens the door to a bunch of other sinful behavior.

I am not sure how long he actually stayed sober, because he does not tell my the truth about his drinking. Last summer we moved to a new state and he began a new job. He admitted he drank when he got to the new town. (I was still at our home trying to sell our house so I didn't join him for a month). Long story short, I asked him if he would agree to go to counseling with the pastor at our new church. He agreed. He met with him by himself a few weeks ago. Yesterday we met with the pastor together.

Overall, the meeting was ok although it didn't start very well. The pastor began by asking me is there was physical abuse in my childhood (there was emotional abuse but not really physical beyond the occasional drunken slap). He asked the same about my marriage. Again, it's more emotional/verbal, not physical. I said no, and he said then I have no biblical basis for divorce.

I had not said I wanted a divorce, nor do I, so I'm not sure why he led with this unless my husband mentioned it in their previous one-on-one session. Anyway, the pastor spent the rest of the time describing the husband and wife roles as described in scripture. He told my husband to stop drinking and to not bring alcohol into our home, including being under the influence. He told him to love me and be the leader of the home.

The pastor told me I need to commit to my husband that I will not divorce him no matter what, because one of our trust issues is that my husband fears I will leave. The pastor said I need to fully commit to the marriage, meaning divorce is not an option, and I need to submit to my husband and respect him (if I intend to follow Christ).

I understand what the pastor is saying--and I absolutely want to follow Christ and fulfill my Biblical role as a wife. However, I do not want to enable my husband or give him tacit approval to drink with impunity. I told this to the pastor and also mentioned that when I left my husband a few years ago, he got sober. He later told me that if I hadn't have left, he would've kept drinking.

I know I am as sick as my husband because I've been affected by his alcoholism and my parents throughout my childhood. I also realize I am a sinner whose only redemption is through Jesus Christ, and I need to show compassion and support to my husband. But I am worried that the pastor minimized the impact my husband's alcoholism has had on our marriage. In fact, I'm not sure he understands alcoholism at all (although he said his brother was an alcoholic).

I do not want to go back to Alanon because some of the women there have left their husbands. I don't know if they are Christians, but I don't want to be influenced by them to sin. Having said that, I was getting a lot of support there. When I went to the meetings, I didn't feel as hopeless and alone. I also have serious codependency traits due to growing up in an alcoholic home. I know I am part of the problem; it is not just my husband.

I have been praying so much about this, reading the Word, listening to sermons and just trying to connect with God. I honestly don't know where He is taking me with all of this, but some days I feel like I can't take much more. Today I was driving down the highway and I had this thought of just turning the wheel a little and driving into the barricade. I wouldn't be hurting anyone else. I just feel so tired and defeated.

I don't want to be a victim. I realize I probably sound that way, but I don't think of it like that. I am trying to honor my marriage and love my husband, despite his illness, weaknesses. I certainly have enough of my own.

If there are any women out there who have been in a similar situation and could PM me, I would appreciate it very much. I feel so very stressed and alone. I don't know where to turn. I am about to start with a new counselor next week. But I would also really appreciate the perspective of Christian women who have been through something similar.
I was an alcoholic and always will be I suppose but I was able to get 3.5 years of sobriety and still counting. I can tell you first hand that alcoholism is an insidious and extremely selfish disease. He may continue to drink behind your back but you would likely begin to see evidence of that over the course of time.

I kept a bottle in my sock and drank from morning till bedtime, little sips every ten minutes or so. I did this to be high all day. I enjoyed the "buzz" and that is the reason I kept doing it. I lost my house and several jobs. Fortunately, I have never been married and no children so the harm I did to others was not as bad as it could have been. Just the same, the damage was done within my family.

I could not be trusted because I would walk miles to get it and return things to the store to get it. I would hide it and drink it all day no matter what I had to do. Alcohol destroyed my life. Stopping drinking was the best thing I ever did and it wasn't easy. With time it is easier and I think about it much much less, but still tempted.

I'm praying for you and your husband and your family and you are doing the right things by addressing this. Ignoring it will only cause more pain and suffering for all. God bless you !!!
 
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paul becke

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You are a saint, rjf. I find it difficult to understand a husband who could cause his wife such grief and suffering, essentially through fecklessness. Even now, he can only think of himself... fear you will leave him. Is self-pity a feature of his self-absorption, by the way ?

I don't even want to reflect on what I think of his character, so I must leave it at that. John Bowen's post seems to me to make a lot of sense, though. You will know that recovering from alcoholism makes demands on your interior prayer life, living not only one day at a time, but one moment at a time - not wildly dissimilar to the call to the interior life of a devout monk or nun.

Incidentally, you might find a book called, Abandonment to Divine Providence by the Abbot Marmion on the subject of what he calls, 'the sacrament of the present moment', interesting.

Even more incidentally, perhaps, as it might not transfer to alcoholism, the way I stopped smoking was to keep telling myself I'd put off the next cigarette until a few minutes later - a few minutes that have lasted about 45 years. Just the smell of other people's cigarette-smoke soon began to sicken me, rather than tempt me.
 
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NothingIsImpossible

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My mom is an alcoholic and no matter what we try she just won't change. Shes almost 60 now and I really feel like its too late. They say the older you get, the harder it is to change your ways.

In the end all we can do is pray and hope the person wants to change. I had a inappropriate content addiction and its like insane trying to get the addiction gone. Most of the time my will power was to low. Even with programs and prayers...ect.

But stay strong and keep trying things. Sometimes it takes a major event for an alcoholic to stop. In my moms case her liver is about shot. I think once it dies it will wake her up to finally stopping. She doesn't seem to notice the damage her drinking does to us mentally and emotionally though. My wife and mom have a very dicey relationship because of it.
 
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paul becke

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My mom is an alcoholic and no matter what we try she just won't change. Shes almost 60 now and I really feel like its too late. They say the older you get, the harder it is to change your ways.

In the end all we can do is pray and hope the person wants to change. I had a inappropriate content addiction and its like insane trying to get the addiction gone. Most of the time my will power was to low. Even with programs and prayers...ect.

But stay strong and keep trying things. Sometimes it takes a major event for an alcoholic to stop. In my moms case her liver is about shot. I think once it dies it will wake her up to finally stopping. She doesn't seem to notice the damage her drinking does to us mentally and emotionally though. My wife and mom have a very dicey relationship because of it.

I'm very sorry to hear that. When a reformed alcoholic very close to me eventually died, all her organs were packing in at about the same time. In fact, her main problem was the organ that is crucial for getting the goodness from nutrients - I think, the spleen, but I'll have to Google it.

By stopping when she did - with just one brief relapse, latterly, but I suspect doing immense damage - she lived almost 40 years longer than the doctor had given her. But she had the perfect, wonderfully equable, temperament, was honest as the day is long (except when she was 'in her cups'), always said her night-prayers and came to Mass with me on Saturdays - though a die-hard Anglican, culturally. I think she had a lot of people praying for her.
 
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Lost4words

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Been going for alcohol myself recently. Even now as i type this!!

Why? An escape! Escape from reality. The utter pain in my life. I wish i too could break free from it. Problem being is that life is pure dog poo at the mo and has been for quite a few years.

But, through it all, Jesus is my saviour.

I LOVE YOU OH LORD.
 
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paul becke

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Been going for alcohol myself recently. Even now as i type this!!

Why? An escape! Escape from reality. The utter pain in my life. I wish i too could break free from it. Problem being is that life is pure dog poo at the mo and has been for quite a few years.

But, through it all, Jesus is my saviour.

I LOVE YOU OH LORD.

Sorry to hear it, but glad you're still clinging to the anchor of all of our lives.
 
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paul becke

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Yes. Jesus is my life even though i am turning into a drunk

Try not to give into self-pity, though, because it is endlessly destructive, particularly with regard to alcoholism, and your prayer-life will deteriorate. Everything takes time, but you don't want to keep giving in to the impulse to drown your sorrows. When you stop, your life will not fail to get better, even in this vale of tears.
 
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rejoiceinfaith

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You are a saint, rjf. I find it difficult to understand a husband who could cause his wife such grief and suffering, essentially through fecklessness. Even now, he can only think of himself... fear you will leave him. Is self-pity a feature of his self-absorption, by the way ?

I don't even want to reflect on what I think of his character, so I must leave it at that. John Bowen's post seems to me to make a lot of sense, though. You will know that recovering from alcoholism makes demands on your interior prayer life, living not only one day at a time, but one moment at a time - not wildly dissimilar to the call to the interior life of a devout monk or nun.

Incidentally, you might find a book called, Abandonment to Divine Providence by the Abbot Marmion on the subject of what he calls, 'the sacrament of the present moment', interesting.
Thank you for the book recommendation. I will look into it.

What is causing me the most stress in my uncertainty regarding God's will. I don't know if I am doing what he wants (by staying) or I am ignoring his will because I am afraid to leave. I honestly cannot discern what His will is for me in this situation even though I have been praying about it and reading his word.

I am so afraid I will make a mistake and act on my will instead of His, that I'm stuck. If we aren't sure we are hearing God aren't we supposed to do nothing?

My husband appears to be sober right now and probably for the last several weeks, so I tell myself I need to give him a chance to be successful. However, I also live with this constant anxiety that he will drink and get arrested, hurt someone, hurt himself, etc.

The pastor made it pretty clear to me that biblically, I'm to stay and support my husband no matter what. But that is not what I think I'm sensing from God. I fear I am enabling my husband by staying.

I am so confused.
 
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paul becke

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I got arrested sat night because of drink! 2nd time in 2 weeks! Not good. Got to stop drinking. Only drinking because depressed but, drinking makes depression worse!

Are you sure it's not a reaction of petulance ? Perhaps in part. I mean a protest to God that he's asking too much of you. It's very human and common for us to react in that way at times - going so far as to cut our nose to spite our face. Miss Haversham in Dickens' Great Expectations is one example of. Try reminding yourself that depression doesn't last, even it does come back fairly regularly. Maybe, last a few hours or even till the next day. So it's an opportunity to draw closer to God by sitting quietly while putting your trust in Him - testing your patience in doing so. Finding interesting books to read is a good way to take your mind off your problems, our imagination is so much more brilliant than TV or film pictures. The root meaning of the word 'patience' is 'suffering', whence also Christ's 'passion'. Perhaps it is how and where God wishes to lead you. Just a few thoughts.
Best wishes
Paul
 
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rejoiceinfaith

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I got arrested sat night because of drink! 2nd time in 2 weeks! Not good. Got to stop drinking. Only drinking because depressed but, drinking makes depression worse!
Oh no! I'm sorry to hear this. I have been through my own struggles with alcohol. Thanks to God, I've been sober for some time now. If you would like someone to talk with about this, feel free to PM me.
 
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patrick jane

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Thank you for the book recommendation. I will look into it.

What is causing me the most stress in my uncertainty regarding God's will. I don't know if I am doing what he wants (by staying) or I am ignoring his will because I am afraid to leave. I honestly cannot discern what His will is for me in this situation even though I have been praying about it and reading his word.

I am so afraid I will make a mistake and act on my will instead of His, that I'm stuck. If we aren't sure we are hearing God aren't we supposed to do nothing?

My husband appears to be sober right now and probably for the last several weeks, so I tell myself I need to give him a chance to be successful. However, I also live with this constant anxiety that he will drink and get arrested, hurt someone, hurt himself, etc.

The pastor made it pretty clear to me that biblically, I'm to stay and support my husband no matter what. But that is not what I think I'm sensing from God. I fear I am enabling my husband by staying.

I am so confused.
I gave you advice and apparently you ignored it.
 
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rejoiceinfaith

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My husband has been drinking all along, and I feel like a fool. I recently had to go on heart medication, and I believe my anxiety is the cause. This was a wake up call for me from God, so I finally mustered the courage to speak with my husband.

The short version is I told him he needs to return to AA and being seeing a Christian counselor. I have been doing my part, but he hasn't been doing his. Surprisingly, he agreed. He said our marriage is the most important thing to him.

He went to an AA meeting last Saturday. He hasn't met with the counselor yet, but I am gave him some recommendations (from my counselor). He said he is going to research the names this weekend.

This morning I listened to one of Charles Stanley's sermons on trials and how God uses them to strengthen us and glorify him. I prayed and asked God to reveal His purpose to me, because I cannot see how I am becoming stronger or glorifying him in my marriage. I feel like I'm barely hanging on. I want to honor my vows and be the wife God intended for me to be, but I keep failing. I fail when I double my husband, when I question where he is, whether he's drinking, what else he may be lying to me about. I fail when I try to control a situation that is uncontrollable. But mostly, I fail when I doubt God and feel like I want to give up.

I prayed for strength this morning, because I know that is what I need to withstand this trial. I want to be strong as Paul was strong--and his trials were much greater than mine. I want to be faithful and trusting of God even when I see no light anywhere.
 
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