Advice Regarding Church Attendance

[Lys Nogales]

Long story ahead, so buckle up.

I am currently attending a church founded and operated by my grandparents. The church has about 40-50 regular members, and I have grown up here. (I'm currently 21.) Starting a couple years ago, I started to feel lonely at the church. At least 90% of church attenders are 40 and over, and there's no one around my age. I really don't have anyone that I am close to. Not that they aren't nice and caring people, but the church community that I feel like I need just isn't there. I'm involved in basically everything at church and feel like I try to socialize with others, but I just don't feel a strong connection.

What complicates this even more is that I am currently the church's choir director and the pianist. I'm carrying a large load right now, and it gives me a lot of anxiety and stress. While I believe that I could be replaced without too much issue, I'm worried that things would just get awful for my family when trying to understand with my stepping down, much less leaving their church.

I've been invited to a church in the past with some college students and other people that I know, and they have many opportunities to serve in the church and in the community. I think I would like going there, but I hate to feel like I'm turning into a church shopper.

So my question is, should I stay with this church or should I look for another church?

I totally understand your situation, I grew up for 18 years in one church- my family grew up with it and I loved the fellowship and worship there- it definitely set up my foundation in Christ and equipped me with sound doctrine and knowledge of the bible. Ministry and mission work has always been important to me and I used all the chances I found to go on and support local missions. When I turned 20 and moved in my my childhood best friend, she had just started going to this new church at a local christian college and invited me to attend with her- and I found that I really enjoyed it. It was small (40-50 people, mostly young families and older couples, as well as college-age young adults) and they were very mission focused, energetic, and connection based. I found a new family there. Sorry for the long story, in essence to say that the church that we grow up in is not always the church you have to stay in forever. I still attend some Wednesday night services at my old church and my family is completely supportive of my decision to branch out. So I'd say start cutting back in your responsibilities at your current church and maybe just try out this new church to see if it is a good fit for you then you can pray over it and see if that's the path God wants you to take. I'll be praying for your decision!

 

[Tangible]

I know what my pastor would say if this question were posed to him. He would ask if you have any friends in the community who aren't attending church and would suggest that you invite them to come to church with you. The fact that you are the only young person in your congregation should tell you that there is a void to be filled. Pray that God would open doors for you to invite other people to church, especially those in your age group.

 

[Blade]

ukuleleguy0 ...<staff edit> JESUS IS REAL! He can OPEN CLOSE anything....where does HE want you to go? Now.. we REALLY need to make sure when we ask HIM for HIS will that we really want it. Well say you wanted to marry someone. You ask Him.. He will answer what ever you want. Why? Because we already wanted that person before we asked Him. He will never go against our will.

I know 100% very well what your talking about. Went to that Church for 7+years. Had more elderly but.. every Wednesday night they would all bring food.. WOW.. like going HOME for Xmas every Wednesday. Sorry got side tracked lol

 

[dqhall]

Long story ahead, so buckle up.

I am currently attending a church founded and operated by my grandparents. The church has about 40-50 regular members, and I have grown up here. (I'm currently 21.) Starting a couple years ago, I started to feel lonely at the church. At least 90% of church attenders are 40 and over, and there's no one around my age. I really don't have anyone that I am close to. Not that they aren't nice and caring people, but the church community that I feel like I need just isn't there. I'm involved in basically everything at church and feel like I try to socialize with others, but I just don't feel a strong connection.

What complicates this even more is that I am currently the church's choir director and the pianist. I'm carrying a large load right now, and it gives me a lot of anxiety and stress. While I believe that I could be replaced without too much issue, I'm worried that things would just get awful for my family when trying to understand with my stepping down, much less leaving their church.

I've been invited to a church in the past with some college students and other people that I know, and they have many opportunities to serve in the church and in the community. I think I would like going there, but I hate to feel like I'm turning into a church shopper.

So my question is, should I stay with this church or should I look for another church?

If you want to meet people your own age, you might need to find a group your own age. If you want to hear a good sermon, you may need to find a church with a good preacher. Jesus preached a sermon on a mountain. He preached from a boat. He preached a sermon about resurrection at the tomb of Lazarus.

Acts 7:48 "However, the Most High doesn't dwell in temples made with hands, as the prophet says,"
Matt. 18:20 "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them."

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Long story ahead, so buckle up.

I am currently attending a church founded and operated by my grandparents. The church has about 40-50 regular members, and I have grown up here. (I'm currently 21.) Starting a couple years ago, I started to feel lonely at the church. At least 90% of church attenders are 40 and over, and there's no one around my age. I really don't have anyone that I am close to. Not that they aren't nice and caring people, but the church community that I feel like I need just isn't there. I'm involved in basically everything at church and feel like I try to socialize with others, but I just don't feel a strong connection.

What complicates this even more is that I am currently the church's choir director and the pianist. I'm carrying a large load right now, and it gives me a lot of anxiety and stress. While I believe that I could be replaced without too much issue, I'm worried that things would just get awful for my family when trying to understand with my stepping down, much less leaving their church.

I've been invited to a church in the past with some college students and other people that I know, and they have many opportunities to serve in the church and in the community. I think I would like going there, but I hate to feel like I'm turning into a church shopper.

So my question is, should I stay with this church or should I look for another church?

ukuleleguy what of your witnessing to those of your own age? how many have you
talked to about the Lord? how many have you prayed for/an invited to church?
Do talk with your minister, fellow believers etc about the lack of youth in the church
and be willing to offer ideas on reaching the youth.

 

[JESUS=G.O.A.T]

Long story ahead, so buckle up.

I am currently attending a church founded and operated by my grandparents. The church has about 40-50 regular members, and I have grown up here. (I'm currently 21.) Starting a couple years ago, I started to feel lonely at the church. At least 90% of church attenders are 40 and over, and there's no one around my age. I really don't have anyone that I am close to. Not that they aren't nice and caring people, but the church community that I feel like I need just isn't there. I'm involved in basically everything at church and feel like I try to socialize with others, but I just don't feel a strong connection.

What complicates this even more is that I am currently the church's choir director and the pianist. I'm carrying a large load right now, and it gives me a lot of anxiety and stress. While I believe that I could be replaced without too much issue, I'm worried that things would just get awful for my family when trying to understand with my stepping down, much less leaving their church.

I've been invited to a church in the past with some college students and other people that I know, and they have many opportunities to serve in the church and in the community. I think I would like going there, but I hate to feel like I'm turning into a church shopper.

So my question is, should I stay with this church or should I look for another church?

I feel the same way you do I feel lonely cause most of the church is age 27+ and i'm 19 and there are young people but i'm the only one saved and only one in a calling right now. But What You must do is come to appreciate the fact that you're even in a good nice church full of older saints who can give advice.

Sure I personally believe a combination of young and old in a church is great but pray for that, pray for your church to grow, contribute to growth, reach other young people rather then simply move to a place that has that pray to be utilized by God to bring in other young folk. I pray every day I can saved the unsaved young folk so we can work together and I can help them get to a place where God can speak through them. I Pray I can actually get insight and encouragement from them too eventually and i've been seeing some changes since.

But yeah I also you would rather be in a church full of older saints then a church full of younger, and I say this because as much as I hate to admit it we young people and we of this generation...are kinda... um... confident and sensitive to put it nicely. And a bunch of young confident sensitive people isn't a good mix. IDK about you but I tend to sit and listen and argue/speak back less with someone who's older and actually has more experience and wisdom and knowledge of the word then me then someone my own age. I'm in ministry and such and lowkey a calling tends to lowkey give anyone but especially a young person a lot of confidence. You're not going to just straight up take criticism and such or sometimes even certain advice from people who are where you're at like it's just how it is. Part of this is because you're more careful about who you trust when you enter a calling becuase you don't want to be led astray, but also just out of a sort of confidence and ego you may have to a degree and lastly maybe you just aren't confident in their credentials in a certain area.

But if IK a minister (met one today) who's established churches and has been saved 10+ years and who even if he is still young (he's in 30s) has that experience and walk with God i'm going to listen and shut up. You even feel different when you're sitting with an elder saint or someone who knows more and has experienced more then you. That sort of natural ego we all have tends to be lower and your sensitivity and urge to response lower as well when you're with someone who's a veteran. That's why in the NBA young teams without veterans tend to have lots of downs when it comes to chemistry.


In conclusion stay with the church and pray God can use you to add young folk.

 

[david.d]

I haven't read all of the responses, so forgive me if this was already mentioned. Why not grow the church you are in and invite people your age? Pray for God to assist you in building up the flock. I'm not questioning your need to be around a younger church body, I just think if you are there then your responsibility may be to draw more people there.

I've been in your situation, except the average age was around 55 and I was in my mid 20s. It can be a blessing to be around those people, try to bring in more young people and see what happens.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I haven't read all of the responses, so forgive me if this was already mentioned. Why not grow the church you are in and invite people your age? Pray for God to assist you in building up the flock. I'm not questioning your need to be around a younger church body, I just think if you are there then your responsibility may be to draw more people there.

I've been in your situation, except the average age was around 55 and I was in my mid 20s. It can be a blessing to be around those people, try to bring in more young people and see what happens.

Acts 2.41-42 can be a good guide for basic local church activities for Christians of all ages.

 

[Mercy Mc Hass]

As much as I'd advise not always listening to your feelings, I totally understand needing a younger, more active group. I know you can get advice and lots of wisdom from older people, but, contrary to many views in this thread, the social connection of the Church is a huge part of it. I think one of the failures of the modern church is that we don't "get to know" each other. My husband and I attend a church for younger people, and we do it for the kids we work with, but we have our own set of friends that are our "real" church. They are people we can share our spiritual struggles with, who understand our references, who we can go to and work with. They are like-minded people who have a passion for the same things.

Sometimes, people from totally different generations find it hard to identify with each other. And for it to be effective, I think your church family should be people you can share intimately with. And a lot of times, that doesn't happen in the modern church.

So, back to your problem: maybe you can keep going to your current church, but step back a little, bit by bit, and start getting involved with the other church. Meet people, maybe start mixing them, etc. But also remember that no church is perfect, but if you can get involved with the people and support and encourage each other in the right things, that is the goal of the church.

Hope everything works out.

Long story ahead, so buckle up.

I am currently attending a church founded and operated by my grandparents. The church has about 40-50 regular members, and I have grown up here. (I'm currently 21.) Starting a couple years ago, I started to feel lonely at the church. At least 90% of church attenders are 40 and over, and there's no one around my age. I really don't have anyone that I am close to. Not that they aren't nice and caring people, but the church community that I feel like I need just isn't there. I'm involved in basically everything at church and feel like I try to socialize with others, but I just don't feel a strong connection.

What complicates this even more is that I am currently the church's choir director and the pianist. I'm carrying a large load right now, and it gives me a lot of anxiety and stress. While I believe that I could be replaced without too much issue, I'm worried that things would just get awful for my family when trying to understand with my stepping down, much less leaving their church.

I've been invited to a church in the past with some college students and other people that I know, and they have many opportunities to serve in the church and in the community. I think I would like going there, but I hate to feel like I'm turning into a church shopper.

So my question is, should I stay with this church or should I look for another church?

 

[Truthfrees]

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