Advice Please

[aiki]

I'm wondering if my sister and I would do best relocating to a different city to escape their control and abuse (we do have bigger dreams for ourselves), or should I try to live on my own and what support systems might be available if I take the big step of moving to a city where I don't know anyone, or is it more advisable to stay local around people I already know. I'm sure I'm not wrong for not wanting to contribute to their charity when they have taken advantage of me financially in my earlier stages of life, as well as being abusive, right? Financially am I wrong for not giving them more money? As they're getting older, though my mom still works for now, I'd like to take over their finances though I'm not quite there yet, but hope to be very soon. How does this sound? Any advice would be appreciated please.

Have you sat down and made a list of the pros and cons of each option you have? Doing so can help you to see which of the options is most wise, practical and beneficial.

Do you have a clearly-established hierarchy of values? Imagine all the things you consider important being laid out in a list with the most important at the top, the second most important below the first, the third most important below them, and so on. With this list before you, examine your options to see which fits best with it.

Remember: As a child of God, our list of values ought to be shaped by His. What, then, are God's priorities for your life? What does He say ought to be at the top of your list of things you value? What should be in second place, and so on. Here's a few of God's top priorities for your life:

- Know God: study His word (Psalms 1; Psalms 119:105; Matthew 4:4; 2 Timothy 3:16-17); by faith, live in His truth (2 Corinthians 5:7); talk with Him often (Ephesians 6:18).

- Love God: be fully convinced of God's great love for you (1 John 4:16-19); desire (this is what "love" means) God above all else (Matthew 22:36-38); invest your "treasure" (time, energy, money), above and before all else, in your relationship with Him (Matthew 6:21); love what God loves (truth, justice, holiness, fellow believers, the lost).

- Glorify God: in all you do, seek to honor God and bring Him praise (1 Corinthians 10:31; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Matthew 5:16).

- Serve God: first and foremost by ministering to His children, your brothers and sisters in Christ (feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and lonely, etc. - Matthew 25:31-46); by evangelism of the lost (Mark 16:15) and the discipling of the spiritually-immature (Matthew 28:19).

You might be surprised by how much this clarifies what you should do (provided you're willing to conform yourself to God's will and way). Ask yourself: Is this path going to best achieve God's purposes in my life? Will moving into this thing/direction strengthen my relationship with God or hinder it? If the answer is "Hinder," you can strike that option off your list (or, at least, move it to the bottom).

It helps also to have a solid grounding in the spiritual principles that govern Christian living. These, too, aid greatly in deciding which way to turn in big life decisions. What are these principles?

God's kingdom is an upside-down one:

- the first shall be last (and vice versa - Matthew 19:30).
- the way up is down (1 Peter 5:6; James 4:10)
- in losing your life you'll find it. (Matthew 10:34-38; Matthew 16:24-25; John 12:24-25)
- believing comes before seeing. (2 Corinthians 5:7; Hebrews 3:12-19)

And so on. If you try to walk with God on the basis of the way the world proceeds, you'll find yourself at odds with God, confused, and frustrated. God's view of success is in many ways directly opposite the world's view of success. Money, fame, power - these are of little importance to God. John the Baptist had it right:

John 3:30
30 "He must increase, but I must decrease.

 

[bèlla]

Bella, thank you. Sometimes I go through things and don't even realize I'm going through something. I appreciate your kind words. <3

You're welcome.

If growth and change are your focus you'll experience attacks. It goes with the territory. A healthier 'you' moves you closer to your intended place in the kingdom. Satan's primary strategies are disbelief and ineffectiveness. If he can't prevent you from believing in God he works to limit your impact. Family, friends, believers, and the workplace are familiar sources of strife.

You can't change your parents but you can stand against their behavior. Write down everything you've experienced. Including the incidents you recounted and find the biblical remedy. Confess your thoughts and feelings too.

For example, pray about X incident, declaring Ephesians 6:4 as the biblical standard (for your parents), confess your response/feelings and ask the Lord for wisdom to Ephesians 6:2 according to His will and purposes.

Praying for change on one side rarely moves the needle. You have to do it from both ends.

~bella

 

[grumix8]

Don't go sheepman :O things are gonna get harder before you should of done it, I mean left to be independant. But if you can't make it with them. it's gonna be harder later very soon things are gonna get hard and prayer is gonna help. They need your family they will surely miss you ;-;. Things are not safe better play it safe.