Advice on whether to move out or not?

[ChristinaK]

Hi, I hope this is the right place to post. If not appologies!

I am posting here because lately I feel that I just want to move out and do not wan to be making a rash decision. I intend to come up with a plan to make sure I would be able to support myself of course. I would like to weigh up my options. By posting here I'm hoping some of you could provide some wisdom/insight/advice from an outsiders perspective on whether I should be moving out or not.

A bit about my situation - currently I am a 20 year old still living with my parents and studying in the city I've grown up in. So if I did move out obviously it would be easier than if I was moving to another city. I know if something went wrong I would easily be able to go back home to family. I should also add that my grandad and uncle also live in the same city although I am not close with them.

Anyway I have a few reasons for wanting to move out. One reason being I would like more independence from my family. Currently I feel that I am relying on them too much and through that I am not really maturing. For example, mum still cooks dinner/meals every night, does most of the cleaning and all the laundry etc. I am very grateful don't get me wrong! Another reason - although I love my dad I feel I am "grating" (if that's the right word?) with my dad and would like to be away from that. E.g. often wake up late and when on the few occasions I am up earlier he questions in a way I don't like. I also would just like my own space where I can have my own routine and things etc.

Things like studying when/how I want and although not good be able to stay up late if I'd like to. I feel I can't do any of that t home and they often say to go to bed by a certain time (even though they say that I am often up late anyway which is bad). Also sometimes this year I have felt that I have missed being able to do certain things etc. with other students as I feel I can't stay out as late as I have to be back. My younger brother also turned 18 recently and is moving to another city to start university so in a way I feel I should too. Basically even if it is a bad idea I'd like the freedom to run my own life and make my own decisions even though I recognise they may not be the best. As I will explain below its concerning that I have a particularly bad track records in everything I need to be good at. However this year I really want to turn over a new leaf and want prove to them that I can do better. Which If I did move out I would make sure I can do the things I have listed below at being terrible at.

Reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea (which honestly is a lot so I won't blame anyone for saying its a bad idea):

• I am often dishonest with them and have trouble being accountable. I hate that and in my mind when I am it is not to be malicious but I it is because I feel ashamed that I can't tell them I am behind for example.
• Another very big one that has ruined stuff in the past. Terrible at time management. I honestly hate this and even if given support e.g. timetabling find myself procrastinating and often do not stick to a work plan. It has affected my work to the point that it is not adequate and rushed and I always hand things in at the last possible minute. I did get into university by the skin of my teeth and if it hadn't been for parents help I would not have gotten in. Often stay up late, pull all nighters and wait until the lasty minute to get work done. In college (uk's equivalent to community college I would say) I was called out for it and also now at university twice by a lecturer. I was also late quite often at college (though was not called out for it) However at my university I do qualify for disability support (extended deadlines as well)and will be getting a specialist mentor and study skills adviser etc. to help me and I am hoping this will help me turn things around once and for all.
• Money management. Another big one and still not great. There was a period of time before Uni where I basically was very irresponsible and depleted savings buying things I did not need. I That even included the vast majority of a large some of money that my uncle gave me which was supposed to go towards driving lessons. This meant unfortunately my mum for a period of times was forced to cover the cost. Ugh. Sadly I still have weeks where I will be like this if I'm being honest. e.g. week before last - bought expensive croissant breakfasts each day I was at uni as well as lunch and iced mochas from the cafe across the road. However I have been trying to put away money I receive from university finance into savings and towards driving lessons. For a few months now I have not withdrawn much money from savings apart from buying a McDonald's the other night for dinner.
• I am terrible at keeping things clean and organised. I don't like to tidy and there have been several periods of times where my room has been so messy that you could not see the floor. Although lately I have kept my room tidy in a way (as in floor mostly clear) but I don't put stuff back in the right places. So if you open all draws cupboard etc. it would be very messy.

Here's the thing as well. If I did move out my mum would like me to be living with other students but I am not sure if that is something I would want. I'm an introvert and all though I do like people I really enjoy my own space and alone time and the main reasons for me moving out would be that I'd be able to come back to a space that is just mine. I think from her perspective it would make me learn how to compromise and learn to live with other people being considerate with them in mind. I think my mum also thinks that I would get lonely if I lived alone and I wouldn't if I had house or flat mates. Living with people would mean for her there would be people I would be held accountible too.

Also please don't get the wrong idea about my parents. Its just sometimes I have my gripes with them and in things like this it often comes across that way as I emphasise them I guess. They are genuinely loving and supportive parents and I am really lucky to have them.

 

[SkyWriting]

Hi, I hope this is the right place to post. If not appologies!

I am posting here because lately I feel that I just want to move out and do not wan to be making a rash decision. I intend to come up with a plan to make sure I would be able to support myself of course. I would like to weigh up my options. By posting here I'm hoping some of you could provide some wisdom/insight/advice from an outsiders perspective on whether I should be moving out or not.

A bit about my situation - currently I am a 20 year old still living with my parents and studying in the city I've grown up in. So if I did move out obviously it would be easier than if I was moving to another city. I know if something went wrong I would easily be able to go back home to family. I should also add that my grandad and uncle also live in the same city although I am not close with them.

Anyway I have a few reasons for wanting to move out. One reason being I would like more independence from my family. Currently I feel that I am relying on them too much and through that I am not really maturing. For example, mum still cooks dinner/meals every night, does most of the cleaning and all the laundry etc. I am very grateful don't get me wrong! Another reason - although I love my dad I feel I am "grating" (if that's the right word?) with my dad and would like to be away from that. E.g. often wake up late and when on the few occasions I am up earlier he questions in a way I don't like. I also would just like my own space where I can have my own routine and things etc.

Things like studying when/how I want and although not good be able to stay up late if I'd like to. I feel I can't do any of that t home and they often say to go to bed by a certain time (even though they say that I am often up late anyway which is bad). Also sometimes this year I have felt that I have missed being able to do certain things etc. with other students as I feel I can't stay out as late as I have to be back. My younger brother also turned 18 recently and is moving to another city to start university so in a way I feel I should too. Basically even if it is a bad idea I'd like the freedom to run my own life and make my own decisions even though I recognise they may not be the best. As I will explain below its concerning that I have a particularly bad track records in everything I need to be good at. However this year I really want to turn over a new leaf and want prove to them that I can do better. Which If I did move out I would make sure I can do the things I have listed below at being terrible at.

Reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea (which honestly is a lot so I won't blame anyone for saying its a bad idea):

• I am often dishonest with them and have trouble being accountable. I hate that and in my mind when I am it is not to be malicious but I it is because I feel ashamed that I can't tell them I am behind for example.
• Another very big one that has ruined stuff in the past. Terrible at time management. I honestly hate this and even if given support e.g. timetabling find myself procrastinating and often do not stick to a work plan. It has affected my work to the point that it is not adequate and rushed and I always hand things in at the last possible minute. I did get into university by the skin of my teeth and if it hadn't been for parents help I would not have gotten in. Often stay up late, pull all nighters and wait until the lasty minute to get work done. In college (uk's equivalent to community college I would say) I was called out for it and also now at university twice by a lecturer. I was also late quite often at college (though was not called out for it) However at my university I do qualify for disability support (extended deadlines as well)and will be getting a specialist mentor and study skills adviser etc. to help me and I am hoping this will help me turn things around once and for all.
• Money management. Another big one and still not great. There was a period of time before Uni where I basically was very irresponsible and depleted savings buying things I did not need. I That even included the vast majority of a large some of money that my uncle gave me which was supposed to go towards driving lessons. This meant unfortunately my mum for a period of times was forced to cover the cost. Ugh. Sadly I still have weeks where I will be like this if I'm being honest. e.g. week before last - bought expensive croissant breakfasts each day I was at uni as well as lunch and iced mochas from the cafe across the road. However I have been trying to put away money I receive from university finance into savings and towards driving lessons. For a few months now I have not withdrawn much money from savings apart from buying a McDonald's the other night for dinner.
• I am terrible at keeping things clean and organised. I don't like to tidy and there have been several periods of times where my room has been so messy that you could not see the floor. Although lately I have kept my room tidy in a way (as in floor mostly clear) but I don't put stuff back in the right places. So if you open all draws cupboard etc. it would be very messy.

Here's the thing as well. If I did move out my mum would like me to be living with other students but I am not sure if that is something I would want. I'm an introvert and all though I do like people I really enjoy my own space and alone time and the main reasons for me moving out would be that I'd be able to come back to a space that is just mine. I think from her perspective it would make me learn how to compromise and learn to live with other people being considerate with them in mind. I think my mum also thinks that I would get lonely if I lived alone and I wouldn't if I had house or flat mates. Living with people would mean for her there would be people I would be held accountible too.

Also please don't get the wrong idea about my parents. Its just sometimes I have my gripes with them and in things like this it often comes across that way as I emphasise them I guess. They are genuinely loving and supportive parents and I am really lucky to have them.

Clean and organise your desk or working area each day.
It should be completely clear and empty before you go to sleep.
The rest will follow that lead in time.

 

[dqhall]

Hi, I hope this is the right place to post. If not appologies!

I am posting here because lately I feel that I just want to move out and do not wan to be making a rash decision. I intend to come up with a plan to make sure I would be able to support myself of course. I would like to weigh up my options. By posting here I'm hoping some of you could provide some wisdom/insight/advice from an outsiders perspective on whether I should be moving out or not.

A bit about my situation - currently I am a 20 year old still living with my parents and studying in the city I've grown up in. So if I did move out obviously it would be easier than if I was moving to another city. I know if something went wrong I would easily be able to go back home to family. I should also add that my grandad and uncle also live in the same city although I am not close with them.

Anyway I have a few reasons for wanting to move out. One reason being I would like more independence from my family. Currently I feel that I am relying on them too much and through that I am not really maturing. For example, mum still cooks dinner/meals every night, does most of the cleaning and all the laundry etc. I am very grateful don't get me wrong! Another reason - although I love my dad I feel I am "grating" (if that's the right word?) with my dad and would like to be away from that. E.g. often wake up late and when on the few occasions I am up earlier he questions in a way I don't like. I also would just like my own space where I can have my own routine and things etc.

Things like studying when/how I want and although not good be able to stay up late if I'd like to. I feel I can't do any of that t home and they often say to go to bed by a certain time (even though they say that I am often up late anyway which is bad). Also sometimes this year I have felt that I have missed being able to do certain things etc. with other students as I feel I can't stay out as late as I have to be back. My younger brother also turned 18 recently and is moving to another city to start university so in a way I feel I should too. Basically even if it is a bad idea I'd like the freedom to run my own life and make my own decisions even though I recognise they may not be the best. As I will explain below its concerning that I have a particularly bad track records in everything I need to be good at. However this year I really want to turn over a new leaf and want prove to them that I can do better. Which If I did move out I would make sure I can do the things I have listed below at being terrible at.

Reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea (which honestly is a lot so I won't blame anyone for saying its a bad idea):

• I am often dishonest with them and have trouble being accountable. I hate that and in my mind when I am it is not to be malicious but I it is because I feel ashamed that I can't tell them I am behind for example.
• Another very big one that has ruined stuff in the past. Terrible at time management. I honestly hate this and even if given support e.g. timetabling find myself procrastinating and often do not stick to a work plan. It has affected my work to the point that it is not adequate and rushed and I always hand things in at the last possible minute. I did get into university by the skin of my teeth and if it hadn't been for parents help I would not have gotten in. Often stay up late, pull all nighters and wait until the lasty minute to get work done. In college (uk's equivalent to community college I would say) I was called out for it and also now at university twice by a lecturer. I was also late quite often at college (though was not called out for it) However at my university I do qualify for disability support (extended deadlines as well)and will be getting a specialist mentor and study skills adviser etc. to help me and I am hoping this will help me turn things around once and for all.
• Money management. Another big one and still not great. There was a period of time before Uni where I basically was very irresponsible and depleted savings buying things I did not need. I That even included the vast majority of a large some of money that my uncle gave me which was supposed to go towards driving lessons. This meant unfortunately my mum for a period of times was forced to cover the cost. Ugh. Sadly I still have weeks where I will be like this if I'm being honest. e.g. week before last - bought expensive croissant breakfasts each day I was at uni as well as lunch and iced mochas from the cafe across the road. However I have been trying to put away money I receive from university finance into savings and towards driving lessons. For a few months now I have not withdrawn much money from savings apart from buying a McDonald's the other night for dinner.
• I am terrible at keeping things clean and organised. I don't like to tidy and there have been several periods of times where my room has been so messy that you could not see the floor. Although lately I have kept my room tidy in a way (as in floor mostly clear) but I don't put stuff back in the right places. So if you open all draws cupboard etc. it would be very messy.

Here's the thing as well. If I did move out my mum would like me to be living with other students but I am not sure if that is something I would want. I'm an introvert and all though I do like people I really enjoy my own space and alone time and the main reasons for me moving out would be that I'd be able to come back to a space that is just mine. I think from her perspective it would make me learn how to compromise and learn to live with other people being considerate with them in mind. I think my mum also thinks that I would get lonely if I lived alone and I wouldn't if I had house or flat mates. Living with people would mean for her there would be people I would be held accountible too.

Also please don't get the wrong idea about my parents. Its just sometimes I have my gripes with them and in things like this it often comes across that way as I emphasise them I guess. They are genuinely loving and supportive parents and I am really lucky to have them.

When I was at a university, the dorms were sometimes loud as people played loud music. Students went to libraries or other quiet spaces to study. Classes were accessible by walking.

One alternative to staying up late is awakening before dawn and staying in bed to read class assignments.

In most cases young people eventually left their parents’ homes anyway, especially as they found jobs and married.

God should be sought for advice. Finding time to read a Gospel might be of benefit.

 

[A_Thinker]

When I was at a university, the dorms were sometimes loud as people played loud music. Students went to libraries or other quiet spaces to study. Classes were accessible by walking.

One alternative to staying up late is awakening before dawn and staying in bed to read class assignments.

In most cases young people eventually left their parents homes anyway, especially as they found jobs and married.

God should be sought for advice. Finding time to read a Gospel might be of benefit.

Sorry ... wrong poster ...

 

[A_Thinker]

Hi, I hope this is the right place to post. If not appologies!

I am posting here because lately I feel that I just want to move out and do not wan to be making a rash decision. I intend to come up with a plan to make sure I would be able to support myself of course. I would like to weigh up my options. By posting here I'm hoping some of you could provide some wisdom/insight/advice from an outsiders perspective on whether I should be moving out or not.

A bit about my situation - currently I am a 20 year old still living with my parents and studying in the city I've grown up in. So if I did move out obviously it would be easier than if I was moving to another city. I know if something went wrong I would easily be able to go back home to family. I should also add that my grandad and uncle also live in the same city although I am not close with them.

Anyway I have a few reasons for wanting to move out. One reason being I would like more independence from my family. Currently I feel that I am relying on them too much and through that I am not really maturing. For example, mum still cooks dinner/meals every night, does most of the cleaning and all the laundry etc. I am very grateful don't get me wrong! Another reason - although I love my dad I feel I am "grating" (if that's the right word?) with my dad and would like to be away from that. E.g. often wake up late and when on the few occasions I am up earlier he questions in a way I don't like. I also would just like my own space where I can have my own routine and things etc.

Things like studying when/how I want and although not good be able to stay up late if I'd like to. I feel I can't do any of that t home and they often say to go to bed by a certain time (even though they say that I am often up late anyway which is bad). Also sometimes this year I have felt that I have missed being able to do certain things etc. with other students as I feel I can't stay out as late as I have to be back. My younger brother also turned 18 recently and is moving to another city to start university so in a way I feel I should too. Basically even if it is a bad idea I'd like the freedom to run my own life and make my own decisions even though I recognise they may not be the best. As I will explain below its concerning that I have a particularly bad track records in everything I need to be good at. However this year I really want to turn over a new leaf and want prove to them that I can do better. Which If I did move out I would make sure I can do the things I have listed below at being terrible at.

Reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea (which honestly is a lot so I won't blame anyone for saying its a bad idea):

• I am often dishonest with them and have trouble being accountable. I hate that and in my mind when I am it is not to be malicious but I it is because I feel ashamed that I can't tell them I am behind for example.
• Another very big one that has ruined stuff in the past. Terrible at time management. I honestly hate this and even if given support e.g. timetabling find myself procrastinating and often do not stick to a work plan. It has affected my work to the point that it is not adequate and rushed and I always hand things in at the last possible minute. I did get into university by the skin of my teeth and if it hadn't been for parents help I would not have gotten in. Often stay up late, pull all nighters and wait until the lasty minute to get work done. In college (uk's equivalent to community college I would say) I was called out for it and also now at university twice by a lecturer. I was also late quite often at college (though was not called out for it) However at my university I do qualify for disability support (extended deadlines as well)and will be getting a specialist mentor and study skills adviser etc. to help me and I am hoping this will help me turn things around once and for all.
• Money management. Another big one and still not great. There was a period of time before Uni where I basically was very irresponsible and depleted savings buying things I did not need. I That even included the vast majority of a large some of money that my uncle gave me which was supposed to go towards driving lessons. This meant unfortunately my mum for a period of times was forced to cover the cost. Ugh. Sadly I still have weeks where I will be like this if I'm being honest. e.g. week before last - bought expensive croissant breakfasts each day I was at uni as well as lunch and iced mochas from the cafe across the road. However I have been trying to put away money I receive from university finance into savings and towards driving lessons. For a few months now I have not withdrawn much money from savings apart from buying a McDonald's the other night for dinner.
• I am terrible at keeping things clean and organised. I don't like to tidy and there have been several periods of times where my room has been so messy that you could not see the floor. Although lately I have kept my room tidy in a way (as in floor mostly clear) but I don't put stuff back in the right places. So if you open all draws cupboard etc. it would be very messy.

Here's the thing as well. If I did move out my mum would like me to be living with other students but I am not sure if that is something I would want. I'm an introvert and all though I do like people I really enjoy my own space and alone time and the main reasons for me moving out would be that I'd be able to come back to a space that is just mine. I think from her perspective it would make me learn how to compromise and learn to live with other people being considerate with them in mind. I think my mum also thinks that I would get lonely if I lived alone and I wouldn't if I had house or flat mates. Living with people would mean for her there would be people I would be held accountible too.

Also please don't get the wrong idea about my parents. Its just sometimes I have my gripes with them and in things like this it often comes across that way as I emphasise them I guess. They are genuinely loving and supportive parents and I am really lucky to have them.

If you can manage it now, perhaps you shoud move out. Such would begin to give you an idea of what's required to maintain an independent lifestyle. This would be the time to risk failing, when you still have a plan B (i.e. living with parents) ...

 

[ChristinaK]

Sorry ... wrong poster ...

What did you mean by that? Sorry I'm genuinly confused

 

[A_Thinker]

What did you mean by that? Sorry I'm genuinly confused

My advice to you is in post #5, which I inadvertantly also sent to dqhall ...

 

[ChristinaK]

My advice to you is in post #5, which I inadvertantly also sent to dqhall ...

Ok thank you! sorry about that haha

 

[Athanasius377]

I believe that every young person should move out and experience just how hard it can be to live independently. I moved out a month before my 19th birthday and never came back. I spent the next two and half years working more than one job just to make ends meet. I remember being so hungry one evening I cut the nasty looking party of a pepperoni sausage off and ate the good part with a jalapeno sauce and that was the only food I had until the next evening. So I wouldn't worry about learning how to manage money before you move out. You will learn or else. The jobs I had at this time included working at a brick factory, a chemical plant, a freight dock and delivering pizza. The best part about working manual labor jobs especially the brick factory is I was in the best shape of my life. I was shredded. Yet I also knew I couldn't do that job for more than a few years before my body would begin to break down. So I finally applied and got accepted into University with a scholarship to boot.

So campus life for me was hardly about partying. I had done enough of that before I went to school. I was very much focused on improving my life through education. Every time I thought I didn't want to study for an exam or go to class thought of the times I got stuck cleaning the brick mixing hopper where it was 130 degrees F while I'm wearing thick coveralls and a respirator to keep this dust that was poisonous from getting into my lungs. I remember getting concrete poisoning in my skin where it looked like a poison ivy rash only it burned for weeks. Or working outside when the air temperature is -18 F and coffee freezes in your cup before you get a chance to drink it. If anything having these experiences taught me how to endure hardship and become a responsible adult. There's something about living on your own that teaches you lessons you can't learn anywhere else. It also helps to know what its like to have the idea in your head that one wrong move and you go under financially in order to say no to fancy coffee or breakfast sammy.

I'm now 43 and have a really good paying job. It was also this experience that kept me focused throughout my career. I was willing to do things and work extra that my colleagues often would not so I wound up leaping frogging over them when it came to promotions as a result. Now I don't have to do these things any longer and I want to retire early and donate my time to the ministry whether ordained or not.

Bottom line. Should you? yes. Will it be harder than you think? You have no idea. But you will grow to appreciate your parents in ways you never though possible.

 

[HARK!]

(CLV) 1Co 11:3
Now I want you to be aware that the Head of every man is Christ, yet the head of the woman is the man, yet the Head of Christ is God.

(CLV) Num 30:16
These are the statutes which Yahweh had instructed Moses between a man and his wife and between a father and his daughter in her youth in her father's house.

As a child of YHWH, you are under the headship of your father, until that headship is passed to your future husband.

Your father loves you; and wants you to be the best you can be; and he wants the very best for you.

With that headship comes protection. Let your father help you guard your spirit. Let his wisdom protect your future here on Earth, and in the world to come.

Be thankful that you have a father who watches over you. Don't reject the gift of a protective father, that YHWH gas given you. Rejoice in the love of your family and the provision of your Heavenly father.

 

[thehehe]

I moved out when I turned 18, four years ago. There is nothing I regret less than this decision: we all need to go away, build our own life and learn how to be independent & self-sufficient. Yes, it is hard and challenging, but this is how we grow up and become adults, by taking risks and taking on challenges. As a messy person myself, I finally managed pretty well. So yes, it will be messy, but leaving home is the best way to discover a new part of yourself & to live a fresh start. This is something every kid needs. Moving out with other people actually is a good idea to me, this is the best way to meet people and get new friends, and they will be the ones that will help you make you feel at home in a brand new place. And I say that as a girl who lived 3 years in a student residence until finally getting a personal flat.

 

[Athanasius377]

I moved out when I turned 18, four years ago. There is nothing I regret less than this decision: we all need to go away, build our own life and learn how to be independent & self-sufficient. Yes, it is hard and challenging, but this is how we grow up and become adults, by taking risks and taking on challenges. As a messy person myself, I finally managed pretty well. So yes, it will be messy, but leaving home is the best way to discover a new part of yourself & to live a fresh start. This is something every kid needs. Moving out with other people actually is a good idea to me, this is the best way to meet people and get new friends, and they will be the ones that will help you make you feel at home in a brand new place. And I say that as a girl who lived 3 years in a student residence until finally getting a personal flat.

Great post. One thing I would add is not to be roommates with a friend. That seemed to always end badly. But someone where you have firm boundaries is a great roommate.

 

[Annner]

Hi, I hope this is the right place to post. If not appologies!

I am posting here because lately I feel that I just want to move out and do not wan to be making a rash decision. I intend to come up with a plan to make sure I would be able to support myself of course. I would like to weigh up my options. By posting here I'm hoping some of you could provide some wisdom/insight/advice from an outsiders perspective on whether I should be moving out or not.

A bit about my situation - currently I am a 20 year old still living with my parents and studying in the city I've grown up in. So if I did move out obviously it would be easier than if I was moving to another city. I know if something went wrong I would easily be able to go back home to family. I should also add that my grandad and uncle also live in the same city although I am not close with them.

Anyway I have a few reasons for wanting to move out. One reason being I would like more independence from my family. Currently I feel that I am relying on them too much and through that I am not really maturing. For example, mum still cooks dinner/meals every night, does most of the cleaning and all the laundry etc. I am very grateful don't get me wrong! Another reason - although I love my dad I feel I am "grating" (if that's the right word?) with my dad and would like to be away from that. E.g. often wake up late and when on the few occasions I am up earlier he questions in a way I don't like. I also would just like my own space where I can have my own routine and things etc.

Things like studying when/how I want and although not good be able to stay up late if I'd like to. I feel I can't do any of that t home and they often say to go to bed by a certain time (even though they say that I am often up late anyway which is bad). Also sometimes this year I have felt that I have missed being able to do certain things etc. with other students as I feel I can't stay out as late as I have to be back. My younger brother also turned 18 recently and is moving to another city to start university so in a way I feel I should too. Basically even if it is a bad idea I'd like the freedom to run my own life and make my own decisions even though I recognise they may not be the best. As I will explain below its concerning that I have a particularly bad track records in everything I need to be good at. However this year I really want to turn over a new leaf and want prove to them that I can do better. Which If I did move out I would make sure I can do the things I have listed below at being terrible at.

Reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea (which honestly is a lot so I won't blame anyone for saying its a bad idea):

• I am often dishonest with them and have trouble being accountable. I hate that and in my mind when I am it is not to be malicious but I it is because I feel ashamed that I can't tell them I am behind for example.
• Another very big one that has ruined stuff in the past. Terrible at time management. I honestly hate this and even if given support e.g. timetabling find myself procrastinating and often do not stick to a work plan. It has affected my work to the point that it is not adequate and rushed and I always hand things in at the last possible minute. I did get into university by the skin of my teeth and if it hadn't been for parents help I would not have gotten in. Often stay up late, pull all nighters and wait until the lasty minute to get work done. In college (uk's equivalent to community college I would say) I was called out for it and also now at university twice by a lecturer. I was also late quite often at college (though was not called out for it) However at my university I do qualify for disability support (extended deadlines as well)and will be getting a specialist mentor and study skills adviser etc. to help me and I am hoping this will help me turn things around once and for all.
• Money management. Another big one and still not great. There was a period of time before Uni where I basically was very irresponsible and depleted savings buying things I did not need. I That even included the vast majority of a large some of money that my uncle gave me which was supposed to go towards driving lessons. This meant unfortunately my mum for a period of times was forced to cover the cost. Ugh. Sadly I still have weeks where I will be like this if I'm being honest. e.g. week before last - bought expensive croissant breakfasts each day I was at uni as well as lunch and iced mochas from the cafe across the road. However I have been trying to put away money I receive from university finance into savings and towards driving lessons. For a few months now I have not withdrawn much money from savings apart from buying a McDonald's the other night for dinner.
• I am terrible at keeping things clean and organised. I don't like to tidy and there have been several periods of times where my room has been so messy that you could not see the floor. Although lately I have kept my room tidy in a way (as in floor mostly clear) but I don't put stuff back in the right places. So if you open all draws cupboard etc. it would be very messy.

Here's the thing as well. If I did move out my mum would like me to be living with other students but I am not sure if that is something I would want. I'm an introvert and all though I do like people I really enjoy my own space and alone time and the main reasons for me moving out would be that I'd be able to come back to a space that is just mine. I think from her perspective it would make me learn how to compromise and learn to live with other people being considerate with them in mind. I think my mum also thinks that I would get lonely if I lived alone and I wouldn't if I had house or flat mates. Living with people would mean for her there would be people I would be held accountible too.

Also please don't get the wrong idea about my parents. Its just sometimes I have my gripes with them and in things like this it often comes across that way as I emphasise them I guess. They are genuinely loving and supportive parents and I am really lucky to have them.

hi Christina,

I think you should stay where you are at. You listed far too many very important reasons why you should not move..... Money and your having a track record of spending too quickly for unneeded things. You will find yourself in a heap of trouble when you run short and can’t pay your bills. That’s the last thing you want to happen.
School will is temporary, get yourself in a GOOD position financially before you do it. Take this time to get thru school and later you will have all the time you want for the sake of freedom. Just a word of wisdom...don’t be dishonest with your parents, it will get you in trouble with the Lord!
I would just be sooooo thankful to be in a safe place, you have no financial worries or burdens, your mom makes you nice dinners, ENJOY it! What a Hugeee blessing. How many young adults can do that?

 

[ChristinaK]

Hello all, Sorry for not replying to comments on this thread. I don't check here on christianforums enough evidently! I just wanted to say though, thank you for all your responses. Every response I have read here is thorough and you have obviously taken some time to respond! I have received some very good advice here, so thanks again!