would be appreciated.
Ever since I was in my late teens I have been someone who 'likes a drink'. I didn't consider myself an alcoholic then and I am by no means convinced I am physically addicted to alcohol now. However, I do have a problem. It is not specifically a drinking problem but drink is a large part of it and I feel this is the most appropriate place to tell my story.
I grew up in a loving, Christian family in a middle class area and whilst of course they made mistakes(what parents haven't?) my childhood was in general a very happy one. Alcohol has been a part of my life since my mid to late teens(quite normal for the area I live). I rebelled against the church at the age of about 17(I can't quite remember exactly how old I was). Whilst I remained a believer, I turned my back on organised religion. Whilst a lot of the people I hung around with were Christians, some of them didn't act very much like Christians to myself or others(with one exception who remains one of my best friends). I decided I didn't want to be associated with them and would go it on my own. This is one regret I have in life that I didn't just try and find another church. However, I was a teenager so obviously knew everything
That's my background. Now scoot forward about 10 years(in which I have held down a steady job, not a dream job but relatively pleasant, been a regular drinker, sometimes heavy but never considered myself to have a problem) to about 3 or 4 years ago. In the last 3 or 4 years, one of my best friends has committed suicide, my father was ill and getting progressively worse, my job has changed beyond all recognition and is now a very stressful environment, on top of this I nearly got the sack, Thanks to the grace of God I managed to keep my job but I remain on a final warning. I unexpectedly and very suddenly was made homeless. I wasn't on the streets thanks to a very kind friend putting me up in her spare room but I was stressed out by the whole situation all the same. I had a few financial worries and another family issue I would rather not divulge on top of this. For most of this time church didn't figure very highly in my thought process. Beer did! I was drinking every day and usually a significant amount every day as well. This new year I recognised I was drinking an insane amount just to get through these stresses, a lot of these problems were behind me(some of them weren't and still are not) and I made a conscious decision to drink less. I decided I would have at least 2, and aim for 3 days a week when I don't drink anything. Last year, when I almost lost my job, I also almost lost my faith as well. However I had an experience which made it stronger than it's ever been. I also decided along with drinking less, this new year I would try and find a church that I am comfortable in. To my utter amazement, I have!
So things were looking up, then a month ago, my dad died. As I mentioned he had been ill and was getting worse. As a strong Christian he didn't fear death and I know he is in a better place free from illness now. However it did still affect me and, along with my job being stressful, I started drinking quite heavily again. One of my friends who is not a Christian, or a particularly big drinker, has commented on the amount I am drinking and I fear he may have a point. It seems that whenever I have a stressful day at work, I head for the pub. I also think this is affecting my physical health although, because of everything that has happened I have been diagnosed with stress and anxiety and because of that, I am a bit of a hyperchondriac. I haven't had a drink in 3 days! I haven't felt I have needed one, I have several alcoholic beverages in the house and have not been tempted. However, I do seem to use alcohol as a form of self medication when things are going wrong. I don't believe I am physically addicted but may be wrong about that. I didn't have a bad childhood and neither of my parents are/were alcoholics(My dad liked his beer but had it under control and drank modestly. My mum is practically teetotal maybe having one or two drinks a year).
I would like to get to a position where I can go out once or twice a week and have a couple of beers(I rarely drink spirits and the only time I drink wine is at communion. Beer is my drink of choice). I believe I can. Total abstinence is a last resort but if need be I will do it! I called an alcohol advice charity who told me I was drinking about 10 times the government guidelines. However they also told me to cut down rather than stop as if I stop completely it may be dangerous to my health. They refused to believe I wasn't physically addicted but I genuinely don't think I am.
I wonder if any of you can relate to what I'm going through and have any advice? Thank you for reading. Sorry I went on a bit but I feel better for saying this.
Ever since I was in my late teens I have been someone who 'likes a drink'. I didn't consider myself an alcoholic then and I am by no means convinced I am physically addicted to alcohol now. However, I do have a problem. It is not specifically a drinking problem but drink is a large part of it and I feel this is the most appropriate place to tell my story.
I grew up in a loving, Christian family in a middle class area and whilst of course they made mistakes(what parents haven't?) my childhood was in general a very happy one. Alcohol has been a part of my life since my mid to late teens(quite normal for the area I live). I rebelled against the church at the age of about 17(I can't quite remember exactly how old I was). Whilst I remained a believer, I turned my back on organised religion. Whilst a lot of the people I hung around with were Christians, some of them didn't act very much like Christians to myself or others(with one exception who remains one of my best friends). I decided I didn't want to be associated with them and would go it on my own. This is one regret I have in life that I didn't just try and find another church. However, I was a teenager so obviously knew everything
That's my background. Now scoot forward about 10 years(in which I have held down a steady job, not a dream job but relatively pleasant, been a regular drinker, sometimes heavy but never considered myself to have a problem) to about 3 or 4 years ago. In the last 3 or 4 years, one of my best friends has committed suicide, my father was ill and getting progressively worse, my job has changed beyond all recognition and is now a very stressful environment, on top of this I nearly got the sack, Thanks to the grace of God I managed to keep my job but I remain on a final warning. I unexpectedly and very suddenly was made homeless. I wasn't on the streets thanks to a very kind friend putting me up in her spare room but I was stressed out by the whole situation all the same. I had a few financial worries and another family issue I would rather not divulge on top of this. For most of this time church didn't figure very highly in my thought process. Beer did! I was drinking every day and usually a significant amount every day as well. This new year I recognised I was drinking an insane amount just to get through these stresses, a lot of these problems were behind me(some of them weren't and still are not) and I made a conscious decision to drink less. I decided I would have at least 2, and aim for 3 days a week when I don't drink anything. Last year, when I almost lost my job, I also almost lost my faith as well. However I had an experience which made it stronger than it's ever been. I also decided along with drinking less, this new year I would try and find a church that I am comfortable in. To my utter amazement, I have!
So things were looking up, then a month ago, my dad died. As I mentioned he had been ill and was getting worse. As a strong Christian he didn't fear death and I know he is in a better place free from illness now. However it did still affect me and, along with my job being stressful, I started drinking quite heavily again. One of my friends who is not a Christian, or a particularly big drinker, has commented on the amount I am drinking and I fear he may have a point. It seems that whenever I have a stressful day at work, I head for the pub. I also think this is affecting my physical health although, because of everything that has happened I have been diagnosed with stress and anxiety and because of that, I am a bit of a hyperchondriac. I haven't had a drink in 3 days! I haven't felt I have needed one, I have several alcoholic beverages in the house and have not been tempted. However, I do seem to use alcohol as a form of self medication when things are going wrong. I don't believe I am physically addicted but may be wrong about that. I didn't have a bad childhood and neither of my parents are/were alcoholics(My dad liked his beer but had it under control and drank modestly. My mum is practically teetotal maybe having one or two drinks a year).
I would like to get to a position where I can go out once or twice a week and have a couple of beers(I rarely drink spirits and the only time I drink wine is at communion. Beer is my drink of choice). I believe I can. Total abstinence is a last resort but if need be I will do it! I called an alcohol advice charity who told me I was drinking about 10 times the government guidelines. However they also told me to cut down rather than stop as if I stop completely it may be dangerous to my health. They refused to believe I wasn't physically addicted but I genuinely don't think I am.
I wonder if any of you can relate to what I'm going through and have any advice? Thank you for reading. Sorry I went on a bit but I feel better for saying this.