- Jan 1, 2019
- 65
- 66
- 34
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Divorced
I have so many thoughts going on in my head right now, and need some support and advice from my Christian Brothers and Sisters.
A VERY condensed background of me - I became completely debilitated in January 2013 by chronic anxiety and depression that lasted until mid-2017. In my suffering, I sought after God and he graciously delivered me from it and gave me his peace. My faith grew strong through this (it was previously so very small). My wife did not like that I was becoming more Godly, and she resisted. She eventually committed adultery and left me for another man last year who is a devout atheist.
I am now in a position where I feel ready to date again, God willing. I want it to be with a very special woman who desires to put God above her spouse, family, job, hobbies, children - everything. I believe that is the way God intended it to be.
This type of person with this mindset is hard to find at my age (29). However, I believe I may have found a woman like this on an online Christian dating site. All of my research seems to conclude that she is very passionate about God and loves God deeply.
She is a Pastor's daughter and I'm trying to wrap my mind around how a relationship may function with this dynamic (assuming this woman is a right fit, is attracted to me, and we end up dating - lots of assumptions, I know!).
I certainly see how it could have great benefits. Her father and family could be a wonderful blessing, helping us to grow in our walk with God. He would be able to share Godly knowledge and wisdom he has learned over the years, and help to be a great example of a Godly husband. I have listened to some of his sermons online, and his theology seems sound and it appears that he knows his Bible well and loves God.
On the flip side, I have some concerns.
1.) Again, lots of assumptions, but I could see a situation where, if we ended up married, the Pastor would constantly think he knows what's best and would interfere in me as the the head of the household. He would criticize my leadership to my wife, criticize certain actions or inactions as "unbiblical" and perhaps cause her confusion and create division in our marriage.
2.) if my wife and I were having a dispute over something biblical, she would possibly run to her dad for advice. With her being his daughter, he might naturally take her side and somewhat turn her against me and my leadership.
3.) overall just me following in the footsteps of her father. I have concerns that I may never be able to measure up to his leadership, knowledge of the Bible, and maturity in God in my wife's eyes. I have concerns that if married, my wife wouldn't take my leadership as seriously because "I'm not at the spiritual maturity level of her Dad".
Sorry to ramble. I know there are basically no easy answers here and it will all depend on the character of this woman and her father. If we were to end up together, it would certainly be important that I discuss these concerns with her before marriage and feel comfortable with her heart and attitude towards this. If she loves God as much as I think she does, she should know about the "cleaving" principle found in Genesis and obey it. Her father should know this too and allow me to be the Godly husband and perform my responsibility as husband.
I guess why I'm posting this is just for some overall feedback and general advice. I'm probably overthinking if as I am prone to do (anxious background!) but I like to be prepared. If I pursue this woman and a relationship develops, it will likely be long-distance initially. There will be a large time investment involved and at almost 30 years old and wanting to have a family, I don't like to be unprepared.
Thank you all so much!
Jordan
A VERY condensed background of me - I became completely debilitated in January 2013 by chronic anxiety and depression that lasted until mid-2017. In my suffering, I sought after God and he graciously delivered me from it and gave me his peace. My faith grew strong through this (it was previously so very small). My wife did not like that I was becoming more Godly, and she resisted. She eventually committed adultery and left me for another man last year who is a devout atheist.
I am now in a position where I feel ready to date again, God willing. I want it to be with a very special woman who desires to put God above her spouse, family, job, hobbies, children - everything. I believe that is the way God intended it to be.
This type of person with this mindset is hard to find at my age (29). However, I believe I may have found a woman like this on an online Christian dating site. All of my research seems to conclude that she is very passionate about God and loves God deeply.
She is a Pastor's daughter and I'm trying to wrap my mind around how a relationship may function with this dynamic (assuming this woman is a right fit, is attracted to me, and we end up dating - lots of assumptions, I know!).
I certainly see how it could have great benefits. Her father and family could be a wonderful blessing, helping us to grow in our walk with God. He would be able to share Godly knowledge and wisdom he has learned over the years, and help to be a great example of a Godly husband. I have listened to some of his sermons online, and his theology seems sound and it appears that he knows his Bible well and loves God.
On the flip side, I have some concerns.
1.) Again, lots of assumptions, but I could see a situation where, if we ended up married, the Pastor would constantly think he knows what's best and would interfere in me as the the head of the household. He would criticize my leadership to my wife, criticize certain actions or inactions as "unbiblical" and perhaps cause her confusion and create division in our marriage.
2.) if my wife and I were having a dispute over something biblical, she would possibly run to her dad for advice. With her being his daughter, he might naturally take her side and somewhat turn her against me and my leadership.
3.) overall just me following in the footsteps of her father. I have concerns that I may never be able to measure up to his leadership, knowledge of the Bible, and maturity in God in my wife's eyes. I have concerns that if married, my wife wouldn't take my leadership as seriously because "I'm not at the spiritual maturity level of her Dad".
Sorry to ramble. I know there are basically no easy answers here and it will all depend on the character of this woman and her father. If we were to end up together, it would certainly be important that I discuss these concerns with her before marriage and feel comfortable with her heart and attitude towards this. If she loves God as much as I think she does, she should know about the "cleaving" principle found in Genesis and obey it. Her father should know this too and allow me to be the Godly husband and perform my responsibility as husband.
I guess why I'm posting this is just for some overall feedback and general advice. I'm probably overthinking if as I am prone to do (anxious background!) but I like to be prepared. If I pursue this woman and a relationship develops, it will likely be long-distance initially. There will be a large time investment involved and at almost 30 years old and wanting to have a family, I don't like to be unprepared.
Thank you all so much!
Jordan
