I want to say first off that I'm 17, and I have a great relationship with God. I don't date, drink, smoke, do drugs or any of that. It seems like I'm always at church. I love being there. I started going to this church late February of this year. I have recently discovered that I am a natural flirt, or as everyone tells me I am. I never ever ever try to flirt intentionally. I guess I'm just really loud, outgoing and crack jokes and teases all the time, and that gets interpreted as being flirty. Also apparently I'm extremely attractive too (dispite my insecurities) which doesn't help. I can't make male friends because they all think I'm into them, and everyone watching thinks we're freaking dating so then gossip starts about what a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] I am even though I'm a virgin. The gossip at churches is unbareable... All the girls hate me. I don't know what to do? My one guy friend said to my sister that I move sexually, like I hair flip, and I sway my hips when I walk. What the heck? I don't even consciously know I'm doing these things and I want to stop. How do I stop being naturally flirty? I don't want to be a boring person, and I finally feel like I'm being fully myself in public but ever since I've been comfortable with who I am everyone's bashing me... which is making it really hard for me. Knowing everyone is gossiping about me, my one guy friend who I had to tell off because he was getting too clingy started spreading lies about me... All the girls avoid me... I don't know what to do!!! Advice please...
Advice?! Apparently Im a natural flirt...
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stuart lawrence
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Churches are no more immune from gossip than anywhere else.
My parents used to spend Sunday lunch chatting about other people in the church and criticising many of them.
If it is really that bad at your Chur h, find another one to worship at. On the plus side, if all the girls gate you, no need to worry about the sins of the flesh concerning them is there!
Seriously, they should cut you some slack. You are seventeen. I'm sure I was a far bigger pain at that age than you could be.
I didn't have any friends in the church at that age. I was so different from the other young people.
Good luck
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- Mar 2, 2017
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I hear ya. I get what you are going through.
First of all, don't ever let those lies define you. What they are calling you is not you, and you know this, so keep holding on to that. The Lord sees your heart and your intentions.
Secondly, I've been there. I used to be really popular with boys (even though I didn't know why), but I've learned that I needed to be very aware of what I was doing, how I was behaving and moving, how I was talking. And I needed to tone all that down. Even though I didn't mean to have that effect on them, and knew I wasn't doing anything wrong, I sent the wrong signals.
So I would suggest you do the same. Ask the Lord to help you become more aware of what is being interpreted as flirty, and then make a conscious decision to change.
You do this for the Lord, and not for them. So not to put any stumbling blocks before others. Teenage boys are very hormonal, and all teenage girls have the responsibility to not cause them to stumble.
If you feel like if you do this they are winning, they aren't. Learning how we affect others and what we can do to make sure our effects are positive and not negative, is part of our growing process.
I hope this helped. I'll say a prayer for you as well. May Jesus bless you with the perfect solution to this problem.
First of all, don't ever let those lies define you. What they are calling you is not you, and you know this, so keep holding on to that. The Lord sees your heart and your intentions.
Secondly, I've been there. I used to be really popular with boys (even though I didn't know why), but I've learned that I needed to be very aware of what I was doing, how I was behaving and moving, how I was talking. And I needed to tone all that down. Even though I didn't mean to have that effect on them, and knew I wasn't doing anything wrong, I sent the wrong signals.
So I would suggest you do the same. Ask the Lord to help you become more aware of what is being interpreted as flirty, and then make a conscious decision to change.
You do this for the Lord, and not for them. So not to put any stumbling blocks before others. Teenage boys are very hormonal, and all teenage girls have the responsibility to not cause them to stumble.
If you feel like if you do this they are winning, they aren't. Learning how we affect others and what we can do to make sure our effects are positive and not negative, is part of our growing process.
I hope this helped. I'll say a prayer for you as well. May Jesus bless you with the perfect solution to this problem.
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Conker
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I'm 17 too, and well to be honest if people aren't very fond of you (from experience) it's best not to fret about it. It separates the Genuine from the illegitimate Godly people. As for you being naturally flirty, there only thing you can do is tone it down a whole ton, because us guys have delusions of grandeur, we think every girl we talk to that we have a crush on likes us. I mean I once went out with a girl thinking it was a date, to realize it was not. So as for flirty, I mean anything a girl does is "a sign" 
So I guess just dress conservatively like Paul says.
But don't worry about boys, because we are much too immature to date, no matter how mature we think we are.
So I guess just dress conservatively like Paul says.
But don't worry about boys, because we are much too immature to date, no matter how mature we think we are.
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