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Adoption

Discussion in 'Conservative Christianity' started by nyj, Nov 14, 2007.

  1. Apollo Celestio

    Apollo Celestio Deal with it.

    +1,259
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    US-Green
    I'd probably adopt before having my own. But they don't let single guys adopt.. right?
    It's unlikely that I'd do either, I'm not that great with children.
     
  2. BelindaP

    BelindaP Senior Contributor

    +664
    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    Actually, they do. If you have any interest, you should look into it.
     
  3. Mary_Magdalene

    Mary_Magdalene AKA..Godschosengirl

    +387
    Calvary Chapel
    Married
    yeah, it has just been these past 2 yrs they have been cracking down and getting really tough on things. now they are starting to push for americans to take special needs kids more.
     
  4. Mary_Magdalene

    Mary_Magdalene AKA..Godschosengirl

    +387
    Calvary Chapel
    Married

    :hug: :hug:

    what a blessing that turned out to be! :hug:

    i was brought up the opposite way and the thought of NOT having an abortion never crossed my mind when i wound up pregnant twice. :cry:

    still healing from it... :cry:

    im always amazed at how God saved me from that mess I made and still continues to bless me. :bow:
     
  5. PreachersWife2004

    PreachersWife2004 by his wounds we are healed Supporter

    +3,909
    Lutheran
    Married
    God truly is amazing, isn't he GCG? Just when we think we're at the precipice, He comes along and rescues us.

    I understand the healing part, too. I've worked with women who chose to have abortions and then later...sometimes days, sometimes years...they come to regret it and they feel awful about it. There's no reconciling that with some of these women, either. Even though it was something legal that they did, it was NOT right.

    All we can do is learn from our mistakes. God is a forgiving God, so we know that our slate will be wiped clean on judgment day because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for us. He died for you, too, GCG, as well you know, so feel his loving arms around you, 'kay?

    Oh, and mine, too...

    :hug:
     
  6. ladyt28

    ladyt28 God's Grace Fills My Life

    +1,256
    Baptist
    Married
    US-Democrat
    I'm an adoptee and can tell you that I realized at a very young age that God is real because of the parents He gave me.
     
  7. BAFRIEND

    BAFRIEND Well-Known Member

    +1,108
    Catholic
    Private
    But the kids in Russia are throw aways who end up in adult prisons or the subways or worse. When you adopt a kid out of an orphanage in Russia you make room for one to come off the streets. Not saying that domestic adoption is wrong, just adding that there is a real safety and quality of life issue to consider.
     
  8. BAFRIEND

    BAFRIEND Well-Known Member

    +1,108
    Catholic
    Private
    They are more open minded towards single parent adoptions when it comes to older kids. I think the main issue of concern would be the question of your finances.
     
  9. BelindaP

    BelindaP Senior Contributor

    +664
    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    I'm not at all against foreign adoptions. However, I tend to think we should take care of our nearest neighbors first. I can tell you with certainty that the older kids in the US system are also throwaways who will likely fare poorly.
     
  10. ladyt28

    ladyt28 God's Grace Fills My Life

    +1,256
    Baptist
    Married
    US-Democrat
    our state has an honest-to-goodness "catalog" of children who's parents had their parental rights terminated and now the children need to be adopted.
     
  11. Mary_Magdalene

    Mary_Magdalene AKA..Godschosengirl

    +387
    Calvary Chapel
    Married
    this is true. with china, most of the girls end up in prostitution. that is not true here in the states.

    The Holy Spirit put this on my heart one day-Does God love a Chinese baby any less than an American one? Does He value that life over another?

    beware: this is a disturbing story, but you would never find this in America or most other countries:

    http://www.taliacarner.com/deadnewborningutter.html
     
  12. Tenebrae

    Tenebrae A follower of The Way

    +1,805
    Anglican
    Private
    It has been very prevalent in muslim countries, sons are wanted and prized, many fear and dread having female children. Infanticide was very common however I think its on the decline.
     
  13. nyj

    nyj Goodbye, my puppy

    +1,249
    Catholic
    Back during the Clinton days, we used to give money to the United Nations to help China with its one child policy ... in which they often force abortions and sterilizations on women who have had more than one child.

    The United Nations has even given China awards for these crimes against humanity.
     
  14. BAFRIEND

    BAFRIEND Well-Known Member

    +1,108
    Catholic
    Private
    A young relative of mine just turned 18 in July. He was in state custody for three and half years. He pays 25% of his income for an apartment and the state pays and guarantees the balance and the state also pays his college tuition until the age of 21. He rented a two bedroom, rents out the other room for 400 and only works part time while going to school. Not bad for a kid whose parents don't have to pay a dime but have a combined income of over 150k a year, huh ?
     
  15. BelindaP

    BelindaP Senior Contributor

    +664
    Christian
    Married
    US-Republican
    Trust me, that's not how it worked for most of us. :(
     
  16. BAFRIEND

    BAFRIEND Well-Known Member

    +1,108
    Catholic
    Private
    It became real political and public about 6 or 7 years ago about the kids coming out of foster care at the age of 18 and being left homeless on the streets in California.

    To top it off a lot of state courts are forcing divorced dads to continue their child support after the kids turn 18 and go to college- so people wondered why the state was not helping its wards once they turned 18 also.

    One of the kids my nephew was in the group home with lost both his parents to cancer and their are other kids too who do not deserve to get tossed into the garbage when they turn 18- a lot of those kids are still in high school.
     
  17. PreachersWife2004

    PreachersWife2004 by his wounds we are healed Supporter

    +3,909
    Lutheran
    Married
    Our state won't terminate both parental rights unless there is someone in line to take over custody of the child.

    Heck, I can't even get my state to terminate my oldest son's father's rights simply because he pays a nominal child support now and then when he is threatened with jail. My husband wants to adopt my oldest son (and with the exception of a formal legal document has) but cannot because my ex won't sign the consent form (he wants me to sign off on all his child support, something I don't have the authority to do) and we can't terminate his rights.

    To me, the adoption laws of my state are very screwed up. I think the fact that it costs SO MUCH money to adopt a child is ridiculous...I think the redtape is somewhat needed but also borderline ridiculous.

    It's a very easy system to give a child up for adoption - I have no clue why it isn't as easy to adopt.
     
  18. D'Ann

    D'Ann Catholic... Faith, Hope and the greatest is LOVE

    +3,925
    Catholic
    Married
    US-Others
    Wow... that is heart breaking for a mom to bond for 2 weeks with her newborn and then go through the adoption process. In most situations, it takes great love and sacrifice for a mom to give up her baby.

    :hug: My mom was 4 years old when her mom had gotten ill and couldn't take care of her anymore. At first, her mom's sister took care of my mom and my mom's half brother as well. They decided to keep her half brother and adopt her out to her grandparents. My mom never knew her real dad and her real mom pretty much cut her off and wouldn't have anything to do with her.

    The good news is that her adoptive grand parents were wonderful to her. Her grandpa was a doctor and she grew up in a real nice neighborhood and nice home with her own horse and well... she had a very very very nice life. They loved her very much.

    My mom's real mom never wanted to keep in contact with my mom until much later on in life. One day when I was a teen, my mom's mom called and we talked a bit. But by then, my mom just couldn't bring herself to the phone to talk with her mom. Her situation is a lot different than the normal adoption process. I really believe that when adoption is done correctly and when parents embrace their child fully and love them, it is a miracle for both child and parents.

    My mom is like that too. She taught me to have strong values and even though she wasn't a Christian at the time, she encouraged me to embrace my Christian faith.

    I think my mom would of been shocked and stunned if I had gotten pregnant before getting married, but like your parents, she would have been supportive throughout the duration. My sister must of broken her in some. :hug:

    :hug: :hug: :hug: God is truly loving and so are you. Life is never easy and some times we learn things the hard way, but it is not how we start the race, but how we finish. With God's grace, I pray that we all finish the race and hear our heavenly Father say, well done. :hug:

    And mine too :hug: :hug:

    There was a time when my husband and I considered adopting, but it was so complicated and expensive and we just couldn't afford it and we didn't really think of adopting from Russia or China because we couldn't afford to fly out there and go through the process over in another country. (It's strange that even working for an airline, it still would of cost thousands more than we had).

    I do try and give to various charities that help children in other countries. Although, I don't know how much money truly reaches the children in need.

    That is very true Belinda. I know of many kids who ended up making bad decisions and some are in jail now. They didn't have much of a home life and they pretty much lived off the streets. Some of my friends from high school never graduated because they got into things and got pregnant and ended up on the street and eventually they did get some help... but yes, our own kids here need our help and support.

    I agree. I think most states have screwed up adoption laws. It is completely ridiculous how much money it is to adopt. I can understand screening adoptive parents and making sure it's a good fit with them and a child. I understand doing a profile check and all of the other research on people who want to adopt, but I don't know why it is so expensive and you ask a very good question, why is it easy to give a baby up for adoption, but most difficult to adopt one.

    Interesting.

    God Bless
     
  19. JPPT1974

    JPPT1974 January Jump

    +9,721
    United States
    Baptist
    Single
    CA-Conservatives
    Very true my friend as we do need
    To take care of our neighbors at home
    But being adopted from Vietnam myself
    There are others that need adoption
    From foreign countries.
    You know more kids from foreign countries
    Need to be adopted as if you think it is bad in the US, it really is much more worse as the need for adoption in foreign countries grows.
     
  20. PreachersWife2004

    PreachersWife2004 by his wounds we are healed Supporter

    +3,909
    Lutheran
    Married
    If we decide to adopt someday, and we might, we will probably go outside of the US. To be honest, I can't really give any reasons other than that I think even the worst of kid in foster care here in America still has a chance to make something of himself, while a child in a lesser country may not have that chance.

    My husband's sister adopted twins from Haiti, during one of the most tumultuous periods in Haitian history. Two weeks after getting the twins to the states, their village was pillaged and virtually destroyed. And then I believe a hurricane went through. Fortunately the twins' family survived, but they have little to nothing left.

    I think I would like to adopt from Russia or China. I'd like to adopt a girl, and I think we'd have a fairly good chance of that happening. The cost is about the same as doing a state-side adoption, but the waiting time is a little longer. My sister-in-law waited four years to get her twins.

    This is, of course, if we decide to adopt. We will have four kids of our own, but we also know that God has blessed us immensely and we would love to share those blessings with other children, but my body just wouldn't be up to it after this baby is born.
     
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