Addiction to inappropriate contentography

[PaxSincera]

Sorry in advance for such a long post... I guess this is more of a rant than anything else, but if you have any advice to give or if you could just pray for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Background (feel free to skip):
I'm currently 19 years old, I grew up in a Christian family, and I guess I asked the Lord to forgive me for my sins and to be my Savior when I was around 6 or 7, although I never read the Bible or prayed or enjoyed going to church; I think I asked for forgiveness more out of fear than actual repentance. I started looking at inappropriate contentography when I was... how long ago was it? I must have been no older than 8. When I was about 15 I started to become aware of my problem with inappropriate contentography, and tried quitting a few times only to fall within a few days. I continued in sin for the next couple years, but when I was 17 I really started to feel awful about it, and I remember falling on my face, weeping, and asking the Lord to forgive me and to cleanse me, and that I didn't want to live the way I was anymore. I began praying and reading the Bible everyday, and really enjoyed doing so. I felt like I could hear the Lord speaking to me through His Word, and when I prayed, I could tell he was listening. I was free from inappropriate contentography for the next two months, and decided to begin receiving communion at my church within that time period. Then, all of the sudden, I fell back into inappropriate contentography. I don't know what circumstances brought me to fall so suddenly, but ever since, I haven't been able to be free for more than a week at a time at best (although usually I can't resist temptation for more than two days or so).

Current Situation:
I feel really lost right now. I don't understand why I consistently choose pleasure over Him. Recently I get more and more doubts as towards my salvation. I hear so many people saying things like "No matter how many times we fall, he forgives us", and "Satan is the one who condemns us, but the Lord is always loving and forgiving", and I somewhat agree with that, but I see so many times throughout the Bible where the Word is clear about those who live in sin (examples at the bottom of this post).

I feel like I've tried really hard to stop... and while I know it's not my own effort that will deliver me, it is only by His grace, I don't understand why I continue to sin. If it is my responsibility to stop, then there is no hope for me, because evidently I am not able. If it is by His grace that I should be delivered, then is there nothing to do but to continue to sin until He saves me? I read and pray everyday still, and I try to just focus on Him and enjoy Him, but I always fall to temptation within a couple of days. Mentally speaking, I feel so weak; just the slightest temptation is all it takes to make me fall. I feel so numb, it's like sinning doesn't make me feel as awful as it used to; I seem to be starting to just accept it and I hate that. I've confessed to a few people that I'm close to, and who have gone through the same thing as me and have overcome. They said they pray for me, and they gave me advice, but there is no success (I moved to go to college now, and I've only ever talked to them about it in person, so we've kind of gotten out of touch about it even though we still chat online). I pray through Psalm 51 every morning and night now, and ask the Lord to help me, but I remain in my sin.

I honestly just miss the days when the Lord felt so close, and it was like we could just enjoy each others' presence throughout the day. Now I feel so far from him, and I don't know how to return to the days when things were going so well.

Examples:
"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."
(1 Corinthians 6:9)

"For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire." (2 Peter 2:20-22)

 

[Zach0024]

Praying

 

[Tomm]

Sorry in advance for such a long post... I guess this is more of a rant than anything else, but if you have any advice to give or if you could just pray for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Background (feel free to skip):
I'm currently 19 years old, I grew up in a Christian family, and I guess I asked the Lord to forgive me for my sins and to be my Savior when I was around 6 or 7, although I never read the Bible or prayed or enjoyed going to church; I think I asked for forgiveness more out of fear than actual repentance. I started looking at inappropriate contentography when I was... how long ago was it? I must have been no older than 8. When I was about 15 I started to become aware of my problem with inappropriate contentography, and tried quitting a few times only to fall within a few days. I continued in sin for the next couple years, but when I was 17 I really started to feel awful about it, and I remember falling on my face, weeping, and asking the Lord to forgive me and to cleanse me, and that I didn't want to live the way I was anymore. I began praying and reading the Bible everyday, and really enjoyed doing so. I felt like I could hear the Lord speaking to me through His Word, and when I prayed, I could tell he was listening. I was free from inappropriate contentography for the next two months, and decided to begin receiving communion at my church within that time period. Then, all of the sudden, I fell back into inappropriate contentography. I don't know what circumstances brought me to fall so suddenly, but ever since, I haven't been able to be free for more than a week at a time at best (although usually I can't resist temptation for more than two days or so).

Current Situation:
I feel really lost right now. I don't understand why I consistently choose pleasure over Him. Recently I get more and more doubts as towards my salvation. I hear so many people saying things like "No matter how many times we fall, he forgives us", and "Satan is the one who condemns us, but the Lord is always loving and forgiving", and I somewhat agree with that, but I see so many times throughout the Bible where the Word is clear about those who live in sin (examples at the bottom of this post).

I feel like I've tried really hard to stop... and while I know it's not my own effort that will deliver me, it is only by His grace, I don't understand why I continue to sin. If it is my responsibility to stop, then there is no hope for me, because evidently I am not able. If it is by His grace that I should be delivered, then is there nothing to do but to continue to sin until He saves me? I read and pray everyday still, and I try to just focus on Him and enjoy Him, but I always fall to temptation within a couple of days. Mentally speaking, I feel so weak; just the slightest temptation is all it takes to make me fall. I feel so numb, it's like sinning doesn't make me feel as awful as it used to; I seem to be starting to just accept it and I hate that. I've confessed to a few people that I'm close to, and who have gone through the same thing as me and have overcome. They said they pray for me, and they gave me advice, but there is no success (I moved to go to college now, and I've only ever talked to them about it in person, so we've kind of gotten out of touch about it even though we still chat online). I pray through Psalm 51 every morning and night now, and ask the Lord to help me, but I remain in my sin.

I honestly just miss the days when the Lord felt so close, and it was like we could just enjoy each others' presence throughout the day. Now I feel so far from him, and I don't know how to return to the days when things were going so well.

Examples:
"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."
(1 Corinthians 6:9)

"For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire." (2 Peter 2:20-22)

Fear not, my friend, there's hope.

 

[PaxSincera]

Can you message me? I'd love to talk. I'm a college student with a similar story.

I'd love to message you, but it seems this site requires you to make 20 posts before you can start a conversation Thanks for offering to talk though.

 

[Tempura]

Do not be hopeless. Plenty of people go through this, whatever it is they're struggling with. Some get delivered quickly, some later when they're older, some have a "thorn" that keeps them humble, depending on Christ. Some have to absolutely come to their wits' end in order for them to fully admit, without any kind of doubt, that God alone is the answer, not what we try to accomplish in our fleshly struggle (Romans 7 comes to mind). It's a process, how we grow in the spirit, think of it as children being trained.

Don't stare at your flesh as if you can turn it into something else than it is. It's already crucified, and we can already think of it as if it's dead. It's hard for us to see that we're already spiritual beings in Jesus Christ. But think of it like you are. Adjust your point of view. Instead of staring at what you did and beating yourself up with it constantly, stare at Christ. Stare at His goodness, and understand that you're not racing against Him, as if you needed to get to the same level. You can't. You're racing with Him, enabled and carried by Him. He is the best teacher and provider, and He will, in time, grow in you, in spirit. You will in time know how to better walk in spirit, to depend on Christ, and your faith will grow tremendously because of it. He will do this for you, and in the meantime you will learn patience, you will learn humility, you will learn not to judge other sinners but instead have mercy on them, you will learn to trust God more because your trust in your own flesh and its efforts is getting weaker and weaker.

So instead of obsessing about "why am I not already there, why can't I see it and why can't I do this", calm yourself, and look at Christ, look at his healing love for the sinner, and pray with the faith and hope you have. God molds our faith, strengthens it especially if that's what we want, and whatever tribulations we go through, we become stronger. Said a prayer for you, for comfort, guidance and peace to come for you. Glad to see some brother in Christ already contacted you. God bless.

 

[Blade]

Repent.. renounce it in Jesus name. He said.. anyone that calls on the name of the lord ...SHALL BE DELIVERED! God does not lie. Yes.. we can get stuck in some sins if we keep doing them.. the enemy comes and latches on so to speak. But NEVER can control you.

There is nothing but NOTHING that makes you do anything. Repent renounce it...what ever it is.. in JESUS name. For greater is He that is in you then he thats in the world. Jesus gave you ALL power over the enemy and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

You can take a run.. take a cold shower... READ THE WORD.. always praying. See with EVERY temptation He makes a way out.. there is NO temptation thats not common to man.

So...yeah.. that enemy that spirit of lust just lied to you.. it cant tell the truth.. told you your stuck.. cant stop.. YOU have to listen...YOU have to believe for it to have any power. GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN YOU THEN HE THATS IN THE WORLD! Quote HIS WORD!

So I bind the spirit of lust fornication and any other friends.. lose him and set him free ...by the authority give to me by Yeshua Christ.. in JESUS NAME! Your free...

 

[PaxSincera]

Do not be hopeless. Plenty of people go through this, whatever it is they're struggling with. Some get delivered quickly, some later when they're older, some have a "thorn" that keeps them humble, depending on Christ. Some have to absolutely come to their wits' end in order for them to fully admit, without any kind of doubt, that God alone is the answer, not what we try to accomplish in our fleshly struggle (Romans 7 comes to mind). It's a process, how we grow in the spirit, think of it as children being trained.

Don't stare at your flesh as if you can turn it into something else than it is. It's already crucified, and we can already think of it as if it's dead. It's hard for us to see that we're already spiritual beings in Jesus Christ. But think of it like you are. Adjust your point of view. Instead of staring at what you did and beating yourself up with it constantly, stare at Christ. Stare at His goodness, and understand that you're not racing against Him, as if you needed to get to the same level. You can't. You're racing with Him, enabled and carried by Him. He is the best teacher and provider, and He will, in time, grow in you, in spirit. You will in time know how to better walk in spirit, to depend on Christ, and your faith will grow tremendously because of it. He will do this for you, and in the meantime you will learn patience, you will learn humility, you will learn not to judge other sinners but instead have mercy on them, you will learn to trust God more because your trust in your own flesh and its efforts is getting weaker and weaker.

So instead of obsessing about "why am I not already there, why can't I see it and why can't I do this", calm yourself, and look at Christ, look at his healing love for the sinner, and pray with the faith and hope you have. God molds our faith, strengthens it especially if that's what we want, and whatever tribulations we go through, we become stronger. Said a prayer for you, for comfort, guidance and peace to come for you. Glad to see some brother in Christ already contacted you. God bless.

Thank you for the kind words. I see much truth in what you are saying, like how we should not stare at our flesh, but stare at Christ. I've been trying to focus on him and just think about his righteousness instead of my own failure. Or like how you said experiencing sin makes us more humble and forgiving, I agree with that whole-heartedly; but I don't feel like the Lord's intention is for us to learn humility and mercy through sin. Surely we can learn those things without living a life in defilement?

Throughout the gospels, whenever Jesus healed someone, or forgave someone, they just immediately were healed, or followed him. Like when he saved the man in Luke 8 who was possessed with Legion, the man didn't go through some long and complicated process to be healed, the Lord just cast out the demons from him, and he was saved.

Or with the woman caught in adultery in John 8, after the Pharisees left, Jesus said to her "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." (v. 11). I realize it would be unreasonable to suggest that she lived the rest of her life without sinning, but I feel like she probably didn't go around committing adultery all the time after that. Why is it that in my life Jesus has forgiven me from my sins, particularly inappropriate contentography, yet I continue to live in the same sin he forgave me from?

You mentioned Romans 7, but then there are verses in just the previous chapter promising: "sin shall not have dominion over you" (Romans 6:14), and I don't see how those two ideas reconcile.

I really do appreciate your words of encouragement, it means so much to me that you would take the time to write that comment, so forgive me for my confusion and questions.

 

[bèlla]

There's some helpful information on this thread. I shared some spiritual warfare tips you can use to combat the issue along with an online support group.

 

[Tempura]

but I don't feel like the Lord's intention is for us to learn humility and mercy through sin. Surely we can learn those things without living a life in defilement?

If I didn't know my sin, mercy and grace would only mean something very surface-level for me. If I didn't struggle with my sin, I would find it harder to sympathize deeply with others who struggle, and I would find it harder to depend on Christ. I can only speak for myself, I'm not trying to push anything on anyone. I'm not trying to say that God wants us to sin, or that sin itself has anything good in it. I'm trying to say that God can turn broken, miserable piles of failure into something else, and where our castles fall, He will build something that lasts, and our patience grows while we learn to wait for the Lord. The woman you mentioned, she had already, fully and wholly experienced and accepted her sins to be forgiven. There was no struggle left in her. God enables us to do this, as we learn to walk in the spirit.

If I think of every instance of wrong I do as life wholly defiled, but not every instance of love and grace as life in spirit, I'm lost, I would devote everything I have for fear and escape of judgement, instead of embracing Christ as a loving savior who grows in us, nurtures us, and enables us to God's will and love each other with a grateful heart.

I got over the worst when I embraced Him as true love, as one who is able and willing to help me grow, one who's love I can trust in every situation. When I did that, I could no longer stare at my flesh, I could no longer think of myself as someone who has to rise up to Christ with my effort in fear and confusion, but instead of one who can wholly depend on God who gave His son, as a divine act of love, when we were already sinners. And little by little, tribulation after tribulation, my faith has grown, my dependence on Him has grown, and I see myself - or more like Him in me - working good things, seeing fruits of the spirit, instead of focusing all I have on flesh in an effort to turn it into spirit. Because when I focused anything I had - which was basically nothing - to turn my flesh into something else, indeed I was under the dominion of sin. There was no escape for me. But God is good, and His ways are better. In our weakness His strength is made perfect.

I've seen testimonies from people who had been delivered from their sins, their flesh-walk, and some of them were very old when they witnessed it. But the amount of gratitude, love and compassion in those people, it's something to behold, and it's something to inspire us, that God won't abandon us, and "that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.". He does it.

Again, I'm not pushing anything on you, nor am I arguing with you. I avoid arguments. I'm not judging you either, nor am I pretending that I know best. There is nothing for me to forgive in your confusion and questions, friend, because God knows I have plenty of my own, and He's got plenty to teach me still, much work to be done with me. But I take it with patience and faith. God works in you in ways that I wouldn't understand. I just want to say: don't give up, trust in God to work in you, confess Him whatever it is you have to confess, and pick yourself up - and allow Him to pick you up as well. There will be changes, your patience and wisdom will grow, He has not abandoned you. In time you'll have your answer. Said a prayer for you, for His will to be done in you, and all of us.

 

[Bux72]

STOP IT. God hasn't given you a spirit of weakness to make excuses for your lack of self control so you can post on a Christian website for consolation to continue in sin. ENOUGH. STOP IT. Do not run His name through the mud pretending to be a believer while acting as an unbeliever. You know better than this. PLUCK OUT YOUR EYE and STOP SINNING.

 

[Bux72]

You Are Not Your Own

 

[PaxSincera]

If I didn't know my sin, mercy and grace would only mean something very surface-level for me. If I didn't struggle with my sin, I would find it harder to sympathize deeply with others who struggle, and I would find it harder to depend on Christ. I can only speak for myself, I'm not trying to push anything on anyone. I'm not trying to say that God wants us to sin, or that sin itself has anything good in it. I'm trying to say that God can turn broken, miserable piles of failure into something else, and where our castles fall, He will build something that lasts, and our patience grows while we learn to wait for the Lord. The woman you mentioned, she had already, fully and wholly experienced and accepted her sins to be forgiven. There was no struggle left in her. God enables us to do this, as we learn to walk in the spirit.

If I think of every instance of wrong I do as life wholly defiled, but not every instance of love and grace as life in spirit, I'm lost, I would devote everything I have for fear and escape of judgement, instead of embracing Christ as a loving savior who grows in us, nurtures us, and enables us to God's will and love each other with a grateful heart.

I got over the worst when I embraced Him as true love, as one who is able and willing to help me grow, one who's love I can trust in every situation. When I did that, I could no longer stare at my flesh, I could no longer think of myself as someone who has to rise up to Christ with my effort in fear and confusion, but instead of one who can wholly depend on God who gave His son, as a divine act of love, when we were already sinners. And little by little, tribulation after tribulation, my faith has grown, my dependence on Him has grown, and I see myself - or more like Him in me - working good things, seeing fruits of the spirit, instead of focusing all I have on flesh in an effort to turn it into spirit. Because when I focused anything I had - which was basically nothing - to turn my flesh into something else, indeed I was under the dominion of sin. There was no escape for me. But God is good, and His ways are better. In our weakness His strength is made perfect.

I've seen testimonies from people who had been delivered from their sins, their flesh-walk, and some of them were very old when they witnessed it. But the amount of gratitude, love and compassion in those people, it's something to behold, and it's something to inspire us, that God won't abandon us, and "that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.". He does it.

Again, I'm not pushing anything on you, nor am I arguing with you. I avoid arguments. I'm not judging you either, nor am I pretending that I know best. There is nothing for me to forgive in your confusion and questions, friend, because God knows I have plenty of my own, and He's got plenty to teach me still, much work to be done with me. But I take it with patience and faith. God works in you in ways that I wouldn't understand. I just want to say: don't give up, trust in God to work in you, confess Him whatever it is you have to confess, and pick yourself up - and allow Him to pick you up as well. There will be changes, your patience and wisdom will grow, He has not abandoned you. In time you'll have your answer. Said a prayer for you, for His will to be done in you, and all of us.

Thank you for praying for me, and thank you your words. I'll try to remember that He loves me, and that I should see Him as someone who's trying to help me improve, not someone that I need to measure up to.

 

[Verv]

I have five small pieces of advice for you, and one will be controversial. I will make it short.

Consider fasting: Don't eat meat on certain days. If you're brave, go full vegan and eat only vegetables, zero animal byproducts...

In Orthodoxy, there are fasting periods, plus most Wednesdays & Fridays are fast days; people can also just undertake a pesonal fast over a problem.

Many old Christian Saints say that our appetite is connected with our sexual appetite. Every time you look at the stuff, fast for a day... If you want big results, fast for two days next time, and if you look at the material while you are fasting, reset the clock.

Scheduled activity: This will sound crazy but you can actually avoid this by re-positioning your time so you don't just have FREE TIME to let yourself get triggered by circumstance and boredom into doing it. If you're anything like you, you had specific times where you did it -- it was almost ritualized, right? In the morning before you shower; in the evenign when you're home alone, whenever.

Take all htose times and schedule them with something else.

And it doesn't have to be something serious or boring... Say, "I'm going to play video games from 5 to 7."

Exercise: Physical exhaustion helps balance you out and give your body shots of good chemicals you need. You'll feel better.

Pray when it hits you: Pray immediately when you get the urge to view it.

Scale it back: If you can't go cold turkey...

At least don't look at the hard stuff.

Some people need to quit nicotine or some such in a slow fashion... Most people say you should do a sin completely cold turkey, but let's be honest: many people relapse.

Don't justify your relapse... avoid the relapse... but in the moment you are overcome, at least tone it down and don't give your brain a big shot of the worst material.

 

[Ttalkkugjil]

Sorry in advance for such a long post... I guess this is more of a rant than anything else, but if you have any advice to give or if you could just pray for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Background (feel free to skip):
I'm currently 19 years old, I grew up in a Christian family, and I guess I asked the Lord to forgive me for my sins and to be my Savior when I was around 6 or 7, although I never read the Bible or prayed or enjoyed going to church; I think I asked for forgiveness more out of fear than actual repentance. I started looking at inappropriate contentography when I was... how long ago was it? I must have been no older than 8. When I was about 15 I started to become aware of my problem with inappropriate contentography, and tried quitting a few times only to fall within a few days. I continued in sin for the next couple years, but when I was 17 I really started to feel awful about it, and I remember falling on my face, weeping, and asking the Lord to forgive me and to cleanse me, and that I didn't want to live the way I was anymore. I began praying and reading the Bible everyday, and really enjoyed doing so. I felt like I could hear the Lord speaking to me through His Word, and when I prayed, I could tell he was listening. I was free from inappropriate contentography for the next two months, and decided to begin receiving communion at my church within that time period. Then, all of the sudden, I fell back into inappropriate contentography. I don't know what circumstances brought me to fall so suddenly, but ever since, I haven't been able to be free for more than a week at a time at best (although usually I can't resist temptation for more than two days or so).

Current Situation:
I feel really lost right now. I don't understand why I consistently choose pleasure over Him. Recently I get more and more doubts as towards my salvation. I hear so many people saying things like "No matter how many times we fall, he forgives us", and "Satan is the one who condemns us, but the Lord is always loving and forgiving", and I somewhat agree with that, but I see so many times throughout the Bible where the Word is clear about those who live in sin (examples at the bottom of this post).

I feel like I've tried really hard to stop... and while I know it's not my own effort that will deliver me, it is only by His grace, I don't understand why I continue to sin. If it is my responsibility to stop, then there is no hope for me, because evidently I am not able. If it is by His grace that I should be delivered, then is there nothing to do but to continue to sin until He saves me? I read and pray everyday still, and I try to just focus on Him and enjoy Him, but I always fall to temptation within a couple of days. Mentally speaking, I feel so weak; just the slightest temptation is all it takes to make me fall. I feel so numb, it's like sinning doesn't make me feel as awful as it used to; I seem to be starting to just accept it and I hate that. I've confessed to a few people that I'm close to, and who have gone through the same thing as me and have overcome. They said they pray for me, and they gave me advice, but there is no success (I moved to go to college now, and I've only ever talked to them about it in person, so we've kind of gotten out of touch about it even though we still chat online). I pray through Psalm 51 every morning and night now, and ask the Lord to help me, but I remain in my sin.

I honestly just miss the days when the Lord felt so close, and it was like we could just enjoy each others' presence throughout the day. Now I feel so far from him, and I don't know how to return to the days when things were going so well.

Examples:
"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."
(1 Corinthians 6:9)

"For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire." (2 Peter 2:20-22)

You just need a new hobby to replace the inappropriate content. Maybe try macrame.

 

[PaxSincera]

I have five small pieces of advice for you, and one will be controversial. I will make it short.

Consider fasting: Don't eat meat on certain days. If you're brave, go full vegan and eat only vegetables, zero animal byproducts...

In Orthodoxy, there are fasting periods, plus most Wednesdays & Fridays are fast days; people can also just undertake a pesonal fast over a problem.

Many old Christian Saints say that our appetite is connected with our sexual appetite. Every time you look at the stuff, fast for a day... If you want big results, fast for two days next time, and if you look at the material while you are fasting, reset the clock.

Scheduled activity: This will sound crazy but you can actually avoid this by re-positioning your time so you don't just have FREE TIME to let yourself get triggered by circumstance and boredom into doing it. If you're anything like you, you had specific times where you did it -- it was almost ritualized, right? In the morning before you shower; in the evenign when you're home alone, whenever.

Take all htose times and schedule them with something else.

And it doesn't have to be something serious or boring... Say, "I'm going to play video games from 5 to 7."

Exercise: Physical exhaustion helps balance you out and give your body shots of good chemicals you need. You'll feel better.

Pray when it hits you: Pray immediately when you get the urge to view it.

Scale it back: If you can't go cold turkey...

At least don't look at the hard stuff.

Some people need to quit nicotine or some such in a slow fashion... Most people say you should do a sin completely cold turkey, but let's be honest: many people relapse.

Don't justify your relapse... avoid the relapse... but in the moment you are overcome, at least tone it down and don't give your brain a big shot of the worst material.

Verv, thank you for your advice. I guess just a quick update since this post is from a few months ago: over the past few months since I posted this I've still been having a lot of ups and downs. About a week or two ago I told some of the adults from my church about what I'm going through, and they've been really kind and willing to help, but they also aren't going easy on me and just telling me it's okay which I appreciate. I still really haven't been having much success to be honest, but I feel like I'm getting a few steps closer to overcoming this.

Now back to your advice. I have tried fasting, but not in the way you suggested; mostly I've just been picking random days of the week to not eat on. I like the idea of fasting for a day whenever I sin, and resetting the clock every time I sin again. I think that might help me to get through times when I just fall over and over within a short period of time. I'll definitely start doing that.

As for filling my time with other activities like you and Ttalkkugjil suggest, I don't think that will work very well for me. I find that usually I get the worst temptations right after leisure time. I already have plenty of things I should be doing like school work, but I procrastinate a lot, so I just feel like scheduling isn't a very practical solution for me.

I'm also trying to start exercising a little, like just going for short jogs and whatever, but I'm not very consistent with that, so I guess it's something I need to work on.

Praying is something I actually do really consistently, especially when I am really tempted, so yeah I agree with that piece of advice a lot and I'll try to keep at it.

I also like what you said about avoiding the more extreme kinds of inappropriate contentography. I think I generally have more of a problem with masturbation than inappropriate contentography, so I can usually avoid looking at stuff. My main problem is just my thoughts I guess, and my lack of self control with what I do with those thoughts.

Thanks again for your advice and prayers, it really means a lot to me.

 

[Verv]

Since you haven't been making a lot of progress... Let me tell you this -- and bear in mind, this is a post meant to console more than anything...

I can name three unmarried Christians that I deeply respect that haven't conquered this and are older than you, one of whom left seminary over the issue and reported that many others did not leave the seminary in spite of worse issues pertaining to sins of lust.

You're trying to conquer the Mt. Everest of vices right now. You are basically attempting to live as a monk because you are unmarried and have no other outlet, and you have none of the advantages of a monk.

That is to say, prayer is not your primary occupation, nor do you live out in the desert or mountains with no distractions, nor do you have a spiritual father listening to your confessions daily... I am guessing that you also can end up feeling weary and bent out of shape when you fast too hard. You get spiritually exhausted and you're then still dealing with the secular world... And you can't just ask to go and pray in a cave for 2 weeks while living on a diet of bread and water.

You probably will need to get creative... Shake things up. Try tactics that ar eperhaps unconventional.

And if you fail, you shouldn't let it harm your relationship with God or your hope for Christian ethics, but remember that the average Christian was getting married at your age for centuries. You should always maintain your relationship with God...

And accept the fact that maybe the only way out of this is your eventual marriage, and while you may never be able to fully conquer this, the struggles that you deal with now will be an aid for you down the line in some other way.

 

[PaxSincera]

I appreciate the desire to give me comfort, but I think the only thing that will comfort me is to overcome and be able to do as is said in Romans 12:1, "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service". Not that I don't respect those who have ongoing struggles with sin, but I don't tend to look at them as role models I guess. I believe that God wants us to be holy, so he's given us the grace to be able to meet that request at least in some measure.

I agree that I don't have a lot of the opportunities to really be alone with God for extended periods as maybe others throughout different places and times have, but I don't think that I should use that as an excuse. Marriage is something that I understand might be necessary at some point in my future, but I don't really feel the Lord leading me in that direction at the moment. If I did get married, I would like to do so after I've overcome sexual sin. I would feel awful burdening someone else with this problem if it's something the Lord can help me gain the victory over now.

And yeah, I'll do my best to lose hope in Christ or give up on a relationship with Him. Like Peter said: "Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast words of life eternal; and we have believed and known that thou art the holy one of God." (John 6:68-69).

 

[carp614]

I'm not sure why this hasn't been mentioned so I'm glad to be the one to tell you about it.

Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability™ | Covenant Eyes

I am not totally free of this sin today. But, praise God, I have experienced complete freedom from it over long periods in the past.
Covenant eyes provided me with accountability. That accountability has proven to be the difference between success and failure for me. Everything I do online is recorded...everything. Anytime my accountability partners want to, they can see what I'm clicking on. It helps a great deal.

Also Pastor Johnny Hunt wrote a book called Demolishing Strongholds that I found to be tremendously helpful.

Your future wife will thank you for making this problem a part of your past. May God bless your efforts Brother.

 

[PaxSincera]

I'm not sure why this hasn't been mentioned so I'm glad to be the one to tell you about it.

Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability™ | Covenant Eyes

I am not totally free of this sin today. But, praise God, I have experienced complete freedom from it over long periods in the past.
Covenant eyes provided me with accountability. That accountability has proven to be the difference between success and failure for me. Everything I do online is recorded...everything. Anytime my accountability partners want to, they can see what I'm clicking on. It helps a great deal.

Also Pastor Johnny Hunt wrote a book called Demolishing Strongholds that I found to be tremendously helpful.

Your future wife will thank you for making this problem a part of your past. May God bless your efforts Brother.

I've heard of Covenant Eyes before but have never got around to trying it out. I guess the main reason for why I haven't decided to use it as of yet is because I feel my problem is more with masturbation rather than inappropriate contentography. They are similar problems but I think at the root they are a little different. Usually when I fall into sin I first fall into masturbation, and then afterwards for whatever reason I turn to inappropriate contentography. Perhaps it's because I feel really bad emotionally and I'm looking for something to comfort me.... who knows, but I always fall to masturbation first it seems. That being said, I still think an accountability program like Covenant Eyes would be a good program to use, just so that people I've talked to about this can see how I'm doing. I guess I'd have to work up the courage to talk to those who are aware of my problem and ask if they'd be willing to do such a program with me. (I'm not very good at keeping in regular contact with people, so I haven't spoken with them for a couple weeks). I'm also not a big fan of the monthly fee. I'm still in college and not financially independent, so I'll have to work that out somehow, but I guess it's an extremely small sacrifice to make for a step closer to purity.

Anyway, thanks for the advice. It's so frustrating that this is a problem so long after I've told multiple people about it. More and more I'm learning where some of the bad influences are in my life though, so I guess at least there's that.

 

[carp614]

I see you are in a difficult spot slightly different from me.
Accountability is the scariest most drastic and difficult thing I have ever done to deal with my addictions.

There are less stressful more indirect means to achieving the same ends I think. Really involvement at a local church has been tremendously helpful. The more I do for Christ, the more I focus on others needs, the less interested I am in inappropriate content, etc.

I also kind of quit a lot of social media/TV in this process. That kind of limitation is definitely worth trying as a part of this as well.

I mean if you think about it, this all ends up being about self denial. Find opportunities to deny yourself and you may find this less of a burden. Just don't give up.

God bless you!