Act your age, not your shoe size (why?)

sk8brdkd · Sep 18, 2013

Why is it socially accepted when let's say a teenager acts very mature for their age n it's widely accepted but when someone who is btwn the ages of 25-35 acts much younger like a 15-20 year old, it's frowned upon? Why?

What's the big issue about having people act their age? What does that even mean? Bc people grow n mature differently. Not everyone is the same

Another thing that has annoyed me for years is when guys do something that people think is dumb they just shake their head n laugh it off bc "that's what guys do" but if a girl did the same thing, they would be talking bout it saying how wrong it is. Why??

I'm only asking bc that has happened to me several times n it's annoying

I've been told often to act my age, not my shoe size but what's the fun in that? I act proper when needed but the majority of the time I act silly n a fun loving way. I never actually want to grow up bc from my point of view, it's boring to be forced to act your age.

A few weeks ago someone was telling me how most women my age like this or that n they would Never do or act like I do. Well I'm sorry I'm not like most girls so ur just going to have to live with it. I am me and I'm happy with who I am. If it's not socially accepted? Oh well. I don't care. I'll just have more fun while everyone my age or older is "acting their age".

ezeric · Sep 18, 2013

I generally agree with you.

We don't have to get old and stuffy - we were made to enjoy life, its abundant life or life to the fullest isn't it?

The only thing is this: Does our fun cause hurt to ourselves or others? Do we talk and say things that hurt others? This is where adults generally learn to control that.

Not saying you do, just rambling with you here...

-eric

fm107 · Sep 18, 2013

I would just urge you to think of your testimony. You don't want to portray yourself as a fool or a clown. You want to be showing maturity and that your a sensible person so that people feel your approachable should they have questions about your faith. They should feel they can have a sensible conversation with you about what your believe. They will not come question a clown.

But yes, enjoy life, every thing has its season as the wise Kind Solomon said - there is a time to laugh and a time to be serious.

parsley · Sep 18, 2013

Do not conform to others' molds.
People will always criticize, but what do you owe them? Will they notice that you tried to please them? Will they even remember it mattered to them?

That phrase is sometimes used when a person is careless. They take up work time to distract others with play, they use hard-earned resources irresponsibly. But there are times as you say when people are just killjoys.

In my 20's there was someone who kept telling me to get a short permed haircut like older women wear. They had no reason other than thinking my shoulder-length hair looked young. And also they tended to want everyone to fit into their molds.

Some advice is worth listening to. If you want a better job, more respect from people, to be considered for a role with authority. It really helps to show the world what you're capable of. But if your specialty is fun and a spark of energy, then there are important channels for that, worth pursuing. Coaches, entertainers, and youth ministers are not hired for their dullness.

Tony Hawk is -what, 45? and doesn't need to wear a suit. Richard Branson...Larry Page and Sergey Brin... Rowan (Bean) Atkinson... Christopher Lloyd...
The Donald has his immature moments too.

Imagine having a career where the child in you can't come out! What does Condoleeza do with a childish impulse? When can H.Clinton joke around without someone making a big deal of her statements... Can Ben Bernanke wear flip-flops?

Another thing that has annoyed me for years is when guys do something that people think is dumb they just shake their head n laugh it off bc "that's what guys do" but if a girl did the same thing, they would be talking bout it saying how wrong it is. Why??

Good question!

I act proper when needed but the majority of the time I act silly n a fun loving way.

parsley · Sep 18, 2013

You could move to Europe...

35 35½ 36 37 37½ 38 38½ 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46½ 48½ EuropeW shoe sizes
5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10.5 12 13 14 15.5 U.S. & CanadaW

Or Korea!

228 231 235 238 241 245 248 251 254 257 260 267 273 279 286 292 Korea (mm.)

Inkachu · Sep 18, 2013

It's one thing to be youthful and vibrant and enjoy life in all its various phases and stages. It's another thing to annoy the crap out of everyone around you because you insist on acting like a kindergartner when you're 35.

If you really feel like your behaviors are appropriate and pleasant to be around, and everyone who criticizes you is just uptight and cranky, then the problem is theirs, not yours.

I'm a very childlike, youthful adult. I love laughing, trying new things, getting wide-eyed and excited about things, and never taking life too seriously. And yet even I have seen many... soooo many... adults who simply refuse to "grow up". You CAN be an adult with lots of energy and vitality and fun, without being an overgrown child who can't seem to mature past the romper room.

I think some people think that if they start to "act their age", they're somehow losing their youth or not being true to themselves. There is a balance between acting like an adult instead of a child (1 Cor 13:11) and acting so childish that you're just a nuisance to everyone around you.

A lot if it has to do with the situation or environment that you're in. If you want to snuggle with your Hello Kitty pillow and watch Blues Clues in your bedroom when you're 40 years old, that's up to you. But if you parade down the street in Strawberry Shortcake pajama pants and pigtails, then yes, you're inviting stares and comments.

ezeric · Sep 18, 2013

parsley said:
You could move to Europe...

35 35½ 36 37 37½ 38 38½ 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46½ 48½ EuropeW shoe sizes
5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10.5 12 13 14 15.5 U.S. & CanadaW

Or Korea!

228 231 235 238 241 245 248 251 254 257 260 267 273 279 286 292 Korea (mm.)

Amazing!

Like i said in the other thread about how things are translated differently in other places (we were discussing words there, but shoe sizes and wisdom here).

That was good for a laugh...

-eric

seeingeyes · Sep 18, 2013

sk8brdkd said:
Why is it socially accepted when let's say a teenager acts very mature for their age n it's widely accepted but when someone who is btwn the ages of 25-35 acts much younger like a 15-20 year old, it's frowned upon? Why?

What's the big issue about having people act their age? What does that even mean? Bc people grow n mature differently. Not everyone is the same

Another thing that has annoyed me for years is when guys do something that people think is dumb they just shake their head n laugh it off bc "that's what guys do" but if a girl did the same thing, they would be talking bout it saying how wrong it is. Why??

I'm only asking bc that has happened to me several times n it's annoying

I've been told often to act my age, not my shoe size but what's the fun in that? I act proper when needed but the majority of the time I act silly n a fun loving way. I never actually want to grow up bc from my point of view, it's boring to be forced to act your age.

A few weeks ago someone was telling me how most women my age like this or that n they would Never do or act like I do. Well I'm sorry I'm not like most girls so ur just going to have to live with it. I am me and I'm happy with who I am. If it's not socially accepted? Oh well. I don't care. I'll just have more fun while everyone my age or older is "acting their age".

Aim to be trustworthy (totally worth it). Let the rest slide.

God bless

Alvis · Sep 18, 2013

I won't ever act my age. I'm old. I don't ever want to act older than 25, tops. Even that's kind of old.

aiki · Sep 18, 2013

Why is it socially accepted when let's say a teenager acts very mature for their age n it's widely accepted but when someone who is btwn the ages of 25-35 acts much younger like a 15-20 year old, it's frowned upon? Why?

Because with time and experience comes wisdom - or it should. Paul the apostle wrote,

1 Corinthians 13:11
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Apart from the physical differences between a child and an adult, there is - or ought to be - a significant difference in level of emotional, intellectual, and social maturity. Experience teaches us, if we let it. We accumulate knowledge, and understanding, and wisdom as we live our lives. When a person refuses to be the student of experience, when they ignore the maturing lessons of life, when they behave as an adult like a child would, they demonstrate, not a carefree youthful spirit, but their own foolishness.

What's the big issue about having people act their age? What does that even mean? Bc people grow n mature differently. Not everyone is the same

No, not everyone is the same. But we are alike enough to fit into general stages of growth as people.

Another thing that has annoyed me for years is when guys do something that people think is dumb they just shake their head n laugh it off bc "that's what guys do" but if a girl did the same thing, they would be talking bout it saying how wrong it is. Why??

I have no idea. A fool is a fool whether male or female.

I'm only asking bc that has happened to me several times n it's annoying

As it should be. Double standards are always annoying.

I've been told often to act my age, not my shoe size but what's the fun in that? I act proper when needed but the majority of the time I act silly n a fun loving way. I never actually want to grow up bc from my point of view, it's boring to be forced to act your age.

Well, my dear, if you refuse to mature, life has a way of forcing you to. And usually when we are forced to mature, the experience is very unpleasant.

A few weeks ago someone was telling me how most women my age like this or that n they would Never do or act like I do. Well I'm sorry I'm not like most girls so ur just going to have to live with it. I am me and I'm happy with who I am. If it's not socially accepted? Oh well. I don't care. I'll just have more fun while everyone my age or older is "acting their age".

Well, if you're a follower of Christ, this "I'll-do-what-I-want-so-stuff-it" attitude is completely against what Christ commands of you. How do you love others sacrificially with such an attitude? Christ has called us all to love others even when it costs us to do so. But you seem quite opposed to such an idea. Can you really call yourself a Christian, a Christ-follower, when you put yourself before others?

Selah.

turkle · Sep 18, 2013

It's wonderful to be fun loving and exuberant. One can be mature, and still fully enjoy life.

If you behave in an immature manner, expect to be treated like a kid. Are you ok with that? If you have an immature perspective, then people will not respect you. Are you ok with that? If your behavior is irritating to your peers, they will avoid you. Are you ok with that?

It sounds, from what you say, like people are telling you that your behavior is annoying. Chances are, they won't hang around if you continue to behave that way. If you don't mind that you will lose relationships, then by all means, behave like a child. But don't expect them to feel forced to tolerate it just because you like yourself that way. Your friends will probably be much younger than you, and if that works for you, then that's great.

So my point is, you are absolutely free to be yourself, as you please. But don't expect people your age to accept you and want a close relationship with you. Maybe hanging with a much younger crowd suits you better, and if so, enjoy!

sk8brdkd · Sep 18, 2013

turkle said:
It's wonderful to be fun loving and exuberant. One can be mature, and still fully enjoy life.

If you behave in an immature manner, expect to be treated like a kid. Are you ok with that? If you have an immature perspective, then people will not respect you. Are you ok with that? If your behavior is irritating to your peers, they will avoid you. Are you ok with that?

It sounds, from what you say, like people are telling you that your behavior is annoying. Chances are, they won't hang around if you continue to behave that way. If you don't mind that you will lose relationships, then by all means, behave like a child. But don't expect them to feel forced to tolerate it just because you like yourself that way. Your friends will probably be much younger than you, and if that works for you, then that's great.

So my point is, you are absolutely free to be yourself, as you please. But don't expect people your age to accept you and want a close relationship with you. Maybe hanging with a much younger crowd suits you better, and if so, enjoy!

I see what you're getting at.

I do not like to be treated like a child although, I only Sometimes act like that. I guess the reason why I don't and have never acted my age is bc about 99% of my friends/acquaintences are younger then me. I only have about "3-4 friends" that are older then me.

The people who are telling me to act my age aren't friends or acquaintences (well, sometimes but, not usually) -- It's family. Parents/sister/cousins/etc. etc. Only once in awhile do I get other people tell me that I don't act my age and that I should.

All my life, or, lets just say the last 10 years or so, people have constantly thought that i'm btwn 16-18 years old and it could be that I look young, dress young and sometimes act young. I have never acted my age and never plan to.

I mean, I do understand the differences of acting like an immature child and just acting young/silly. I get that completely. Most of my friends nowadays are btwn 5-10 years younger then me and I get along w/ them perfectly. I have a much harder time becoming friends w/ people who are my age or older then me --- I've Always had a difficult time w/ that and have, for the most part only had friends younger then me as my maturity level matches theirs, well, in some respects that is. I don't Always join in when they're being extremely immature but, sometimes I do, it just depends what it is.

sk8brdkd · Sep 18, 2013

aiki said:
Well, if you're a follower of Christ, this "I'll-do-what-I-want-to-stuff-it" attitude is completely against what Christ commands of you. How do you love others sacrificially with such an attitude? Christ has called us all to love others even when it costs us to do so. But you seem quite opposed to such an idea. Can you really call yourself a Christian, a Christ-follower, when you put yourself before others?

that's not exactly what I meant. Let's say, we're going out to a nice restaurant and am told to dress up. Now, I absolutely HATE to dress up, however, whether it's my parents or friends, I will respect their wishes and will dress up. Do I have to like it? no, but, I will listen and do what's asked. I think I rarely put myself before others. I usually try and put others before myself. I know when I'm in prayer, 99% of the time I pray for others and rarely pray for myself and my wants/needs. I care more about what others are going thru then what i'm going through.

sk8brdkd · Sep 18, 2013

I've caught my mom on this often. She likes to treat me like a 5 yr old sometime and that Really annoys me bc I know that I do not act anything like a 5 year old. I would say the youngest I act is probably 16 or 17. I don't think my mentality has caught up w/ my physical age yet. Anyways, sometimes, at night, when i'm playing xbox or watching TV, my mom will come in and tell me, now, don't forget to put your dog out. It's like duh, of course I won't forget to put her out once more at night, I Always do it. Or, she'll say, don't forget to lock the door, and don't forget to flush the toilet. It's like, Really?!? How old am I?? I've been doing these same tasks for years and just now she's reminding me to do them? I shake my head every single time she brings up a dumb comment like that --- but, it was comments like that, that got me to thinking about these other things.

I know people judge people on their maturity levels. I remember when my sister was 16. She was very mature for her age and when she got her permit, they only drove w/ her for 6 weeks, then let her off on her own. Yet, when I turned 16 and got my permit, my dad had this rule that the 2 of them would have to drive w/ me for an entire year before letting me off on my own. And why?!? bc I was more immature then my sister was, so, they had to keep their eye on me.

Well, you know what that did to me right?!? Made me extremely angry bc I was the first one in my high school class to get my permit, yet, the last one allowed to drive on their own, so, I was made fun of enough in high school (bullied) and them knowing this just made everything worse. So, what did I do when they Finally let me out on my own?? Took the car, went on the highway and sped up to over 100 mph. Was that smart on my part?!? no of course not but, I was extremely mad and then I told the kids in my class what I did and they were jealous bc they were never allowed to go that fast but, I rebelled bc my parents treated me a LOT differently then my sister.

How would you compare 6 weeks of driving w/ your parents Everywhere you go to driving around w/ them everywhere for 1 year?!? How would you react?!?

Anyway, I always had a lead foot but, only drove to 100 the first several times I was out on my own, then slowed it down to 75 and now I rarely drive over 75 but, 75 is my speed limit mainly.

parsley · Sep 18, 2013

my mom will come in and tell me, now, don't forget...

For some people, that's just making conversation and not knowing what else to say. For her, it might be closure before she goes to sleep -- things she used to be responsible for, she now has to hand over to people who are up latest. That might make her feel like she has loose ends -- not really a reflection on you, even tho it comes out that way.

Anyway, I always had a lead foot but, only drove to 100 the first several times I was out on my own, then slowed it down to 75 and now I rarely drive over 75 but, 75 is my speed limit mainly.

Well... you made sense up until there.

Last night a kid in the NE died when his car went airborne. His friends didn't know how such a good friend and decent guy could get killed that way.

Some prom-goers in our area died with a carful of friends-- half who lived and half who didn't, with no alcohol in their systems.

I live near a curve in the road, and we average one accident per year where people missed the curve and went into our yard, driving fast. Someone on our street died while mowing the lawn, because a fast driver knocked into him.

You might be in control of the car, but other people do unpredictable things.

Lecture over (maybe).

People who are overly-mature and stuffy have usually seen too many incidents that caused them to tighten up.
They want to prevent pain and loss.

CounselorForChrist · Sep 19, 2013

Inkachu said:
It's one thing to be youthful and vibrant and enjoy life in all its various phases and stages. It's another thing to annoy the crap out of everyone around you because you insist on acting like a kindergartner when you're 35.

If you really feel like your behaviors are appropriate and pleasant to be around, and everyone who criticizes you is just uptight and cranky, then the problem is theirs, not yours.

I'm a very childlike, youthful adult. I love laughing, trying new things, getting wide-eyed and excited about things, and never taking life too seriously. And yet even I have seen many... soooo many... adults who simply refuse to "grow up". You CAN be an adult with lots of energy and vitality and fun, without being an overgrown child who can't seem to mature past the romper room.

I think some people think that if they start to "act their age", they're somehow losing their youth or not being true to themselves. There is a balance between acting like an adult instead of a child (1 Cor 13:11) and acting so childish that you're just a nuisance to everyone around you.

A lot if it has to do with the situation or environment that you're in. If you want to snuggle with your Hello Kitty pillow and watch Blues Clues in your bedroom when you're 40 years old, that's up to you. But if you parade down the street in Strawberry Shortcake pajama pants and pigtails, then yes, you're inviting stares and comments.

EXactly. I'm in my early 30s and me and my wife are like teens at heart. We laugh, we make jokes, we can be silly. BUT people still see we are wise and mature at heart. We know how to be serious and are very much so at times, we help people and don't make jokes when doing so.

Its those who act like children and haven't matured at all that annoys people. Of course the opposite could be said about someone who is so mature that they act like a grumpy pessimistic 90 year old lol. They are just as annoying.

znr · Sep 19, 2013

I can make a variety of farting noises with kitchen utensils.

parsley · Sep 19, 2013

Hurray for the arrival of silicon in housewares.

ezeric · Sep 19, 2013

znr said:
I can make a variety of farting noises with kitchen utensils.

Of course you can Znr!
I wouldn't think anything else!

But isn't that part of it?

Arn't we all a little different?

For someone like Znr its ok, and acceptable but maybe for someone else
it isn't or their temperament wouldn't allow them to be like that.
Really they wouldn't even 'think' that way.

I'm not picking on you Znr, keep exploring GOD and enjoy life! You're great!

Just thinking that somethings are not 'age worthy' deal, but rather we all act and think in many different ways - and that makes life interesting, never boring.

Some people get cranky, BECAUSE you are supposed to act like me - and you don't.
Religion looks just like that.
Pharisees talk just like that too.

JESUS even said "We played a song for you and you wouldn't dance and a dirge and you wouldn't mourn" - JESUS wasn't what was to be expected either!
see Matthew 11:17

We really are tired and stop playing the game!

The real and only hurt (as I see it) is when silliness doesn't know its own time -
and it becomes painful or causes harm to another.

Hopefully you get what I am saying..
Bless you Znr!

-eric

LoricaLady · Sep 19, 2013

We are never told to "act your age" in the Bible. We are told to be loving, to be kind, to be forgiving and so on. Those are the things that matter. Those people are being critical and intrusive, but...you gotta act loving, kind and forgiving and so on toward them.

As far as gender differences, studies have shown that men can get away with more in some ways, particularly in schools with teachers who should know better. (My daughter noticed this is school and it really annoyed her.) Try not to let it bother you since you can't change the culture.

Praying for wisdom and guidance and peace in these issues.

Act your age, not your shoe size (why?)

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