Abusive Friend

Hello everyone, I need your assistance. I came on here because I am afraid people outside of this website are going to actually say really mean things thinking I am stupid or something, and I been cyber-bullied enough just trying to ask for help.

I have a friend from high school who I occasionally hang out with, and he has been having the same problems since high school, and I am 24. As much as I try to be help to this guy, it only gets worse for me, and for his situation.

Lets just call my no good friend Bob for this post. Bob in short is a overly possessive person for girls, because he is desperate for a girlfriend. He also has a short temper, and doesn't accept help unless he has what he wants. Which is a girlfriend.

For him, he is someone who doesn't get out of his room. He tells me he hates people, but he really wants a girlfriend. So technically he is using the internet for all of his dating. He dated a girl online who was a lot younger than he was in High school, and they broke up two years later.

The problem is that Bob just doesn't let go of her. His first online girlfriend just didn't like the long distance, and she had interest in a other guy. Bob doesn't cut any connection out with her because he was making sure she was okay. Which made it really worse for him because in the past year this girl has been just telling him over Skype of how awesome her boyfriend is.

A few months ago he got into this other relationship with this girl who was very insecure about long distant relationships. She somehow passively accepted Bob's dating invitation, and she been scared about the relationship and kept telling him that the relationship wasn't probably a good idea. The other problem is that she was talking to all other guys other than Bob on a streaming chat, and Bob just waits there feeling jealous that she barely talks to him. She finally ended the relationship 3 weeks ago because she felt she wasn't being good to him. She did it out of his sake, because she known she didn't want to talk to him, and didn't want to make it any worse.

Just a few days ago, the first girl I talked about apparently got upset with Bob because HE got mad about her talking about her boyfriend, and she has been ignoring him since then. Also, the insecure girl asked Bob to take her off Skype so they wouldn't talk anymore, and he is very upset and breaking down from this.

The problem with me is that if he doesn't get any girl to accept him, he comes to me asking me to cuddle with him. I ignore him every time he asks, because I am pretty much terrified. I know this sounds horrible, but I am the only friend who listens to this guy's girl problems, and he feels I am the last resort to get with a girl. He's super desperate, but the only reason why I listen to him is because the dude threaten to kill himself more than 5 dozen times. I was trying to give him some purpose in life other than needing to have a girl. But every time I try to give him options, he starts getting really angry, starts calling me names, and one time he threatened to hit me.

I barely hang out with him, but a lot of his anger comes from online chatting, and of course I don't want to be treated like that, and I am really ready to pull the plug on this so called friendship I have with him. The only reason why I didn't in the first place is because I was afraid of the guy committing suicide. However I ended up putting myself in a abusive spot. That is why I need your assistance. Should I pull the plug or figure out how to help this person while dealing with his abusive behavior.

I know he is lonely, I know he lacks a lot of good things in his life, and he takes people's care for him for granted all the time. Its hard to even get to him because he plays "I am right and your wrong." deal. He wont' even accept his own mistakes because he does not like people giving him the lecture. So I don't know what to do for him other than pray for him.

Thank you for responding christainsoul. I been trying to get use to CF, finding the right forums for the right threads is still something confusing to me. (There is so many.)

You pretty much nailed his characteristics here. I was afraid that I wasn't giving enough information, but I didn't want to turn this into a drama novel either. But yes, he acts just like you mentioned, and of course as someone who knows that suicide is a serious thought and feeling, I felt it wasn't a good idea to just leave the guy to himself. (Because all suicide advice said don't leave the person alone.) But I also learned he has been saying the same line over and over again throughout his school years too. So apparently he uses the threat of suicide to make people not go away or something. I was just talking about this to a friend earlier, and she said to me that he used the same threat to her and that was 4 years ago.

Deep down, I wish he can find some help. I realized that I can't do it because of his sly actions. To be honest I wanted to stop being around or even communicating with him years ago, but I never understood or could even give myself a proper good reason why for the longest time.

Prayer would be great for myself and him. He is no believer sadly, so I don't know how much God is going bug him until he starts wondering. Thank you for your response.