- Mar 27, 2017
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- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
I felt to write more about the torture I endured. Jesus prompted me today to accept that I was tortured. I have had a hard time accepting what happened to me. It helps me to write about it here. It was over 8 months of torture. The woman who tortured me did a lot of evil to me. Jesus has showed me that she was a very evil person because she was damaged. She became a torturer. Jesus wants me to have love for her and the other people who hurt me. I have now become interested in reading about people who healed from torture. It is one of the worst things that can happen to someone. The woman who hurt me, named Silver, made me destroy Bibles, kept me from my friends and family, made me wear what she wanted me to wear, kept me from being able to care for myself, would not let me go to the bathroom sometimes to damage my stomach, took me to church and abused me in the church bathroom, made her male friends rape me, told me she wanted to make me like the devil, beat me and a lot more painful things. I was talking to Jesus about it today and he said to my spirit that all of that was torture. He let me know it would take a while for me to heal and that I had to be creative with my healing. One of the things that has been helping me a lot is to look at pictures of beautiful dolls. I picked up a doll hobby some months ago. I havn't brought a doll yet, Ive been searching. I talked to Jesus about my doll hobby and I realized that it was me trying to reclaim some of my innocence that I lost in the torture. I forgive Silver and I pray for her that she will be healed by Christ and gain back her innocence as well as the men who hurt me. I will talk about dolls sometimes in the hobby sub forum here, because it soothes me, and it also replaces avatar communities for me.