A question about Facebook and more importantly LIFE

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

My Pastor tells me I need to associate with folk that are of a different stroke than me. Now I feel bad about unfollowing those on Facebook that like to drop f-bombs and other four letter word derivatives. I feel like when I share this I could shamefully nickname myself "Fellow Justice"


As if there's scale with a godly crowd on one side and a heathen bunch on the other and there I am with a blindfold over my eyes meting out what I was never intended to give in the first place. But there's still a nagging urge I get when I see people post things that don't interest me; and that's the temptation to remove all their future feeds from my timeline. Is the proper etiquette to unfollow them but keep them on as friends anyway? And doesn't that seem a bit hypocritical? Wouldn't that be like being in the presence of someone and just totally disregarding and ignoring everything they say? If I can't tolerate this scenario of just reading what people have to say on the internet, how in the world am I going to live with those I brush up against in real life? It seems I'm in a bit of a dilemma. But God is no respecter of persons. He chooses to love and commune with me even though I'm a lifetime away from being anywhere near perfect as I will be in Heaven.

But still I'm wondering about "evil communications corrupting good manners". Can anyone help a brother out?

 

[Waddler]

First of all, I've been in your shoes. Especially during the political season, I couldn't stand most of what my Facebook folks were posting. Even now I struggle to take an interest in a lot of what they post.

A few things I've learned:
1. We choose what offends us. Some people are easily offended by crass language, to use your example. It's not our place to judge others, but we should discern for ourselves what is appropriate. After studying what sin is, I've arrived at something of a different perspective than many Christians as to what words or actions constitute sin.

More to the point, I'm not usually offended by the sins of others. Someone using crass language doesn't offend me in and of itself. I'm not offended by my friends who engage in premarital or non-heterosexual sex. On and on. That's not to say I approve of such things, but it's not my place to judge those people, and it does no good to be offended.

What offends me are my own sins, and the sins that hurt others. Murder, sexual assault, theft, bullying--these are just some of what offends me, and it is my place to speak on it. I don't mean I have any right to be emotionally upset at such things, though sometimes that's justified; "in your anger do not sin" says it's okay to be angry, just not to sin in anger. "Speaking on it" means I can voice an opinion in rational terms (e.g., "He ought to be punished," not "That bleeping bleep ought to bleep bleep bleep for what he did!").

2. Facebook is yours to customize. If you value the friendships of people, it's okay to be friends with them on Facebook and unfollow those whose content you can't handle. On your own terms, you can then go to their page to see if they've posted anything of interest. I have some friends who, in person, are great to hang out with. On the Internet, not so much.

3. As you grow and mature in not being offended, it gets easier to open up to varying points of view. I've done that, and still dismiss a lot as so much speculative drivel. It no longer offends me, but I also don't put any value in it. Sometimes, the views of others challenge my own, and it gives me food for thought. A sign of maturity is being able to open your mind to other points of view without fear; if you believe something that isn't true and you're challenged on it, it's better to accept the challenge and grow in truth.

I'd say unfollow people whose content you can't handle at all, but challenge yourself to consider why you're offended, and whether it's right or useful to be offended. If it's not right or useful, challenge yourself to consider the point that offends you, and read beyond the specific words to the meaning behind them. Consider whether the point is valid, and look for truth where it may be found, not just where it's comfortable.

 

[Grace2022]

My Pastor tells me I need to associate with folk that are of a different stroke than me. Now I feel bad about unfollowing those on Facebook that like to drop f-bombs and other four letter word derivatives. I feel like when I share this I could shamefully nickname myself "Fellow Justice"


As if there's scale with a godly crowd on one side and a heathen bunch on the other and there I am with a blindfold over my eyes meting out what I was never intended to give in the first place. But there's still a nagging urge I get when I see people post things that don't interest me; and that's the temptation to remove all their future feeds from my timeline. Is the proper etiquette to unfollow them but keep them on as friends anyway? And doesn't that seem a bit hypocritical? Wouldn't that be like being in the presence of someone and just totally disregarding and ignoring everything they say? If I can't tolerate this scenario of just reading what people have to say on the internet, how in the world am I going to live with those I brush up against in real life? It seems I'm in a bit of a dilemma. But God is no respecter of persons. He chooses to love and commune with me even though I'm a lifetime away from being anywhere near perfect as I will be in Heaven.

But still I'm wondering about "evil communications corrupting good manners". Can anyone help a brother out?

Hi
well, a man is judged by those he associates with. I have long conjectured about this.

Just loosen your ties with those who are godless, use bad language and appear to have no real morals. Go through your friends list and see who you are in tune with. Make certain people acquaintances, then adjust your audience for whatever you post. Reduce postings from those you don't need and don't waste your time or give head space to nonsense. Nurture fellow Christians. Sounds a bit brutal but do what suits you and helps you grow in faith. We cannot change the world overnight. Be on good terms with everyone, no need to upset anyone. Just quietly distance yourself from those who really are not good for your peace of mind.

 

[Cearbhall]

Just loosen your ties with those who are godless, use bad language and appear to have no real morals.

I think the mistake is thinking that people who don't believe in the same things as you or who use language differently have no morals at all and aren't worthy of interaction. That's probably the attitude that the pastor wants the OP to avoid.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

I think so, Cearbhall. I've taken the action to re-follow all my Facebook friends and be proactive with real life relationships too.

I think the mistake is thinking that people who don't believe in the same things as you or who use language differently have no morals at all and aren't worthy of interaction. That's probably the attitude that the pastor wants the OP to avoid.

 

[NurseAbigail]

I've unfollowed a lot of facebook friends, I realize how short time is why waste it feeling angry over posts from friends who are miles away and i haven't seen for a long time or are not close to me. I also unfollowed people who gossip a lot lol, no point in sharing my life to people like that. I treat facebook like life, would i share these informations that i post to these people if i see them in person? If not, i go ahead and unfollow them but still keep them as friends. The eyes are the window to the soul, it's almost impossible not to have the day ruined by someone's careless posts, once read, i get irritated throughout the whole day so i guess if it affects you in a neg way, feel free to unfollow the person, doesn't mean you don't want their friendship anymore, more like you want to focus on more important things.

 

[Grace2022]

I've unfollowed a lot of facebook friends, I realize how short time is why waste it feeling angry over posts from friends who are miles away and i haven't seen for a long time or are not close to me. I also unfollowed people who gossip a lot lol, no point in sharing my life to people like that. I treat facebook like life, would i share these informations that i post to these people if i see them in person? If not, i go ahead and unfollow them but still keep them as friends. The eyes are the window to the soul, it's almost impossible not to have the day ruined by someone's careless posts, once read, i get irritated throughout the whole day so i guess if it affects you in a neg way, feel free to unfollow the person, doesn't mean you don't want their friendship anymore, more like you want to focus on more important things.

You know, it all illustrates the power of words, written or spoken, for good or I'll.
I pray daily for God to help me control my tongue. Just a few words can make or ruin friendship. X

 

[Grace2022]

I think the mistake is thinking that people who don't believe in the same things as you or who use language differently have no morals at all and aren't worthy of interaction. That's probably the attitude that the pastor wants the OP to avoid.

Well, I take your point, but I am talking about the waste of time maintaining friendship with people who really are on another entirely different world view. We are surely happier spending our precious time and energy with those who are supportive and with whom we can have meaningful discussions. My favourite evening each week is with my housegroup. It's a balm to the soul being with like minded souls.

I've got rid of those on my Facebook list who just aggravate me. We do have a choice.

 

[Paulie079]

My Pastor tells me I need to associate with folk that are of a different stroke than me. Now I feel bad about unfollowing those on Facebook that like to drop f-bombs and other four letter word derivatives. I feel like when I share this I could shamefully nickname myself "Fellow Justice"


As if there's scale with a godly crowd on one side and a heathen bunch on the other and there I am with a blindfold over my eyes meting out what I was never intended to give in the first place. But there's still a nagging urge I get when I see people post things that don't interest me; and that's the temptation to remove all their future feeds from my timeline. Is the proper etiquette to unfollow them but keep them on as friends anyway? And doesn't that seem a bit hypocritical? Wouldn't that be like being in the presence of someone and just totally disregarding and ignoring everything they say? If I can't tolerate this scenario of just reading what people have to say on the internet, how in the world am I going to live with those I brush up against in real life? It seems I'm in a bit of a dilemma. But God is no respecter of persons. He chooses to love and commune with me even though I'm a lifetime away from being anywhere near perfect as I will be in Heaven.

But still I'm wondering about "evil communications corrupting good manners". Can anyone help a brother out?

The thing about social media is that in some ways it's a true representation of who people are in and some ways it's not. It's not in that people say things on social media all the time that they would never say in person. There is a lack of any human element to the interactions and people quickly forget that they are interacting with another human being. It is a true representation in the sense that out of the heart the mouth speaks (or the person tweets).

Social media also has really changed the way that we connect with people or understand those connections. For the first time really ever in human history, I can keep track of the life of people that I went to elementary school with and I don't really even have to interact with them. You can also stay connected with the life of a person you met once at a concert eight years ago and haven't talked to since. It's just an odd thing. My point, though, is that you can't maintain relationships with hundreds of people. I think your focus should be on loving, serving, and building relationship with the people God has put directly into your life.

With that line of thinking as the frame of reference, I don't believe there is anything wrong with unfollowing people on Facebook in and of itself. The right or wrong is found more in the heart behind the unfollowing than anything. If you are doing it out of a sense of pride, spite, moral superiority, etc. that's not exactly great. But if you are doing it because you continue to see things in your newsfeed that have a negative impact on you, by all means hit the unfollow button. Most of the people in your newsfeed aren't people that you have an active, ongoing relationship with anyway. For me, I have unfriended people who I didn't believe were truly friends (aka have taken advantage of me or have been rude or unkind on social media), and for most of the people who are more acquaintances than anything now, I have kept them in my friends list mainly just for networking purposes. Most of the people I have unfollowed at this point are people who are wrapped up in identity politics and post about it often. The lack of intellectual honesty and critical thinking in identity politics drives me up a wall and I develop a sort of ornery and argumentative attitude about it, and I know it's just not worth it in the end. I have also unfollowed a few people who have a habit of passive-aggressively bringing all of their drama to Facebook and broadcasting it for the world to read (face your problems, don't Facebook 'em, people!). Social media can be useful in some ways, so it hitting the unfollow button helps me eliminate the aspects of it that I believe aren't helpful for me personally.

 

[JAM2b]

I think that this is a very personal decision. I think you should pray about it and follow your own conviction. It could be that you become more open to some that you would not have been before, or maybe that you develop a personal set of standards for what you are willing to accept and not accept. Or it could be that you decide to stick to what you have already been doing.

The internet is very public and once something is out there, you can't get it back. I sometimes worry I will accidentally share something that is offensive, and that will affect how others view me and my witness. Sometimes there will be something good posted, but the person's name or facebook page name is offensive, and I will choose to not share it because of the name even though the content was good.

I have unfriended or unfollowed people who post things that are bothersome to me. However, there are those who are not Christians or who are perhaps not living as "cleanly" as I am that I have not unfriended or unfollowed. Instead I just ignore the things that I feel are wrong, and try to continue to influence them by the way I live my life and what I post without being obnoxious or unnecessarily judgemental.

Sometimes what I do is I remain friends with them, but if they share something I am uncomfortable with, I will choose to hide what they have shared, especially if it is from another source or page, while still remaining friends and not unfollowing them.

There are some things that are just not healthy for me to see or read, and it can be emotionally or psychologically damaging to me personally. I don't feel that I have to subject myself to that, and I will usually quietly ignore it, or hide it, or unfollow the person if it happen frequently.

Usually I don't unfriend people unless it is because of their behavior, which is normally something hateful and hurtful to others. I tend to lose respect for people when they reveal their hate toward others. I have little tolerance for ridicule or insults or encouragement of the mistreatment of others regardless of their reasoning.

Ironically, I have unfollowed and even unfriended more Christians than non-Christians. Sometimes Christians can be vicious. Sometimes they are ignorant to the point of hurting others. It is more offensive for a believer to sin publically than for a non-believer to, and to be honest, I don't want my beliefs and faith in God to be associated with them and their behaviors.

 

[JAM2b]

There is a Scripture in the Bible about not judging those outside the church because what they do in the world should not concern us, but we should judge one another within the church.

We cannot minister and witness to those who are not believers by shutting them out. However, we should not allow them to harm us.

I think a good thing to look at would be the Scriptures involving meat sacrificed to idols, and how the Jewish Christians related to Gentile Christians. And also look at how Jesus treated people in the general public, sinners and faithful followers. He didn't exclude anyone, but He removed himself from those who would harm Him or were hypocritical. He often kept company with those who were undesirable to the religious community. However, He did so without letting himself get hurt and without participating in their sin.

But again, you need to search your own heart and seek the Lord's guidance in this matter because everyone's walk and journey and calling is different.

 

[blackribbon]

If you don't associate with the people in real life and they have over 200 "friends", they probably won't even know that you unfriended them. It is okay to keep your FB to people who you really want to stay connected to and remove those that just take up your time. You can always reconnect later if you have a reason to. It isn't rude. It actually makes sense to keep your FB time and feed to a minimum.

Unless you also have a real life friendship, I doubt that FB is a good form of witnessing.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

The issue with Facebook is that if you unfollow people or even friend only people who have the same views as you means that you can feel very much right about things, it can give you a one-sided view.

This can become dangerous, and i think this is why people aren't engaging, talking, discussing and understanding other peoples point of views.

Facebook has its good and bad points

 

[blackribbon]

It is better to interact with real people in real life to get other people's beliefs because then you see their point of view in context.

 

[sundewgrower]

I keep FB friends for three reasons.
One they are people I am actually friends with and value catching up with.
Two they are family and I am obligated/should keep them.
Three--they are business contacts and I keep them on the acquaintance list.

I have 25 "friends" total on FB and haven't looked back. If you read my message and don't respond after a few weeks with me needing you then I feel it's best we part company. If I see weird/off color or gross posts then I'm going to go as I don't want that around unless absolutely required.