- May 13, 2018
- 23
- 15
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
Simply put, my heart's just not into singing or listening to Christian music (or most kinds of music for that matter, especially ones with words). I do think that not having grown up in the church has made it harder for me to get into it, especially when it sounds, forgive me for saying this, "cringe worthy". I know my lack of interest is considered a personal blasphemy to those who need the radio blasting 24/7 or are actively part of the church music team, but at least understand the spirit of what I'm saying, even if you wholeheartedly disagree.
This frustration of mine ranges from contemporary stuff to the classic hymns. What's supposed to be "soul stirring" keeps me indifferent. I'm not completely "broken", however, since there are a few songs out there I like ("Sometimes by Step" by Rich Mullins, for example). Everybody has different interests and tastes, blah blah blah. I get that.
Still, I do my best to try to "get into it" by not skipping the music portion of the service altogether. I'll even sing along unenthusiastically 90% of the time (but I won't do the whole closing my eyes, mumbling to myself, waving my arm in the air stuff that many people do). All my attempts at being involved in this, however, come off as an obligation and not a willingness to worship. I can speak to God with words without necessitating sick drum beats, repeating a chorus 500 times in a row, or blaring a Whitney Houston-esque rendition of Amazing Grace.
I don't know. Maybe I'm coming off as bitter regarding this, but I'm torn between believing that I can worship God in other ways (prayer, ministry, etc.) or that I'm sinning and/or doing myself a spiritual disservice by not wanting to participate in pretty much one of the few aspects of going to church that remains difficult for me. My understanding of bible verses regarding singing implies to me that it is one of many scriptural ways to worship, not a required way to worship. Any advice or input is appreciated.
This frustration of mine ranges from contemporary stuff to the classic hymns. What's supposed to be "soul stirring" keeps me indifferent. I'm not completely "broken", however, since there are a few songs out there I like ("Sometimes by Step" by Rich Mullins, for example). Everybody has different interests and tastes, blah blah blah. I get that.
Still, I do my best to try to "get into it" by not skipping the music portion of the service altogether. I'll even sing along unenthusiastically 90% of the time (but I won't do the whole closing my eyes, mumbling to myself, waving my arm in the air stuff that many people do). All my attempts at being involved in this, however, come off as an obligation and not a willingness to worship. I can speak to God with words without necessitating sick drum beats, repeating a chorus 500 times in a row, or blaring a Whitney Houston-esque rendition of Amazing Grace.
I don't know. Maybe I'm coming off as bitter regarding this, but I'm torn between believing that I can worship God in other ways (prayer, ministry, etc.) or that I'm sinning and/or doing myself a spiritual disservice by not wanting to participate in pretty much one of the few aspects of going to church that remains difficult for me. My understanding of bible verses regarding singing implies to me that it is one of many scriptural ways to worship, not a required way to worship. Any advice or input is appreciated.
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