A Long Journey Home

[AnglicanPeace]

I have explored lots of religions and philosophies to deal with suffering including hearing abusive voices and deal with tons of verbal abuse all my life.

I found that in Buddhism, enlightenment is really no different from annihilation. The point of Buddhism is "the end of suffering." But what's the point of life itself? There is no point. Humans are seen as no different from trees. And this is assuming enlightenment is even real.

I was a LaVeyan Satanist. No I didn't worship the devil. I denied both God and Satan. It's a philosophy that combines objectivism, social darwinism (not fascism), and epicureanism. Satanists believe in themselves. I was selfish and hard working. And I was miserable. I was even in a relationship with another Satanist who was emotionally abusive, addicted to drugs, and used me for money. He was miserable. I noticed that most Satanists were quite unsuccessful and really not different from anyone else anyway. It's just a label. Work hard play hard.

I explored paganism. I thought the rituals were silly and a bit too "white bread" .

I explored hedonism, mainly to distract myself from the voices. I would drink to kill the pain and would try to distract myself. I couldn't deal with difficult people and I had anxiety about running into them. I found I couldn't distract myself all the time.

I tried stoicism/pessimism to lower my expectations and achieve inner peace. But stoics advocated suicide as noble. It's as if they thought life wasn't work living. I was somber. I didn't experience joy.

Finally, today, while listening to Studies In Pessimism by Arthur Schopenhauer, I heard him say that Christianity understands that life is about suffering (partially) and that if you're not a person of faith, you have no reason to live.

I read a scientific study that people are born believing in life after death and that there's no such thing as an atheist, so don't be fooled. Many of them secretly fear hell.

I have come to my senses. I love all people, including my enemies. Suffering brings me closer to God.

Thank you Lord, for giving me another chance.

 

[Benaiahian Monk]

Selah!

 

[1watchman]

One needs to keep seeking God, and that is found through the Bible rather than reasoning. One can see there in such as John 1; John 3; John 14; etc. the Gospel truth in an overview. Read there and pray to God to teach you what His message is for you. He says: "he that hath the Son has life (eternal); and he that has not the Son (of God) has not life (eternal)" ---see 1 Jn. 5:10-12. Look up always, friend, and read God's Word daily!

 

[1watchman]

Why read the Bible? The answer to that is simply that the Creator-God loves His creation and His people, and certainly would not leave them in ignorance of Himself. We need (desperately) to trust our Creator to provide His mind for us, and not leave us to wander, wonder and worry. Certainly one MUST believe in the Creator-God for any eternal hope (even read of this in John 14 and 1 Jn. 5:10:12 in God's Holy Word --which hope is in the Christ of God).

Most everything in the Bible has been fulfilled from the Old Testament ---even the coming of the Messiah for Israel (which most of them today reject, even as they did as shown in the Gospels, and killed Him). Since one cannot eliminate God, the Lord Jesus arose after offering Himself as the supreme sacrifice for sin, and showed Himself to faithful disciples before ascending back to His Father. He will come again ---not as a Savior, but as a conqueror over evil ones, as He promised. One needs the Lord Jesus in their heart NOW, as the Savior and Lord of one's life (and best Friend).

Well, consider this friend, and start reading in the Bible (I prefer the KJV or NKJV) at John 1; John 3; John 14 as an overview) and continue through the New Testament before looking at the creation, history, and God's care of the saints in the Old Testament. Write me anytime if you have any interest in knowing God and His purposes. - 1watchman