a little help...

[Beef]

Hello All,
I am having some anxiety, depression type thing going on...I am dating this girl, and for some reason keep getting upset, frustrated, depressed etc when talking/thinking about her past relationships. It bothers me mainly because she has been with 6 or so guys sexually before she became a "stronger Christian" and I have remained a virgin. Now I havent been completely pure with women, but have not lost my virginity. For some reason that is bothering me. Now, I have had a inappropriate content problem before, and maybe that has had an impact on my feelings. I keep thinking that these guys were not good to her, and she was sexual with them, but me who treats her great does not get any sexual stuff with her(Even though i want to wait) I dont even know if i am making sense...but something is bothering me inside and maybe i cant quite pin point it. Its like i should be happy with keeping my virginity but at the same time am upset about it, and am maybe jealous that she has experienced this with someone else, or maybe just has experienced it at all,..does that make sense?

Thanks for any answers.

 

[Lucis]

Maybe you are feeling frustrated because you feel you are missing out on sex. That you feel it is the right thing of you to wait, but at the same time you feel it is unfair that others are not doing the right thing and the same time get "benefits" from it?

 

[UnitynLove]

Maybe you feel insecure that you will not measure up to the others she has had? And since you don't have experience you feel that you will not be able to match up with the others? My advice is don't worry about it, if it is true love and you get married she will love you regardless. That is what marriage is about, love and being patient with each other.

 

[BlessEwe]

Hi Beef, hope you get some answers in Christian advise.

 

[Nilla]

Mod Hat On


This is just a little reminder to everyone that this thread is NOT to focus on the girl and what she has done but to encourage and support the OP.


Mod Hat Off​

 

[bliz]

Let me get this straight... you are upset that she sinned with other men in the past, and you are upset because she isn't sinning with you now? You're right, it makes no sense.

If you can't get past this soon, you need to end the relationship so that she is free to find someone who will lover her, past sins and all. God who is perfect has managed to do this. You and I are far from perfect.

 

[unkern]

Hey bro, Im proud of you for staying a virgin. I stayed one until I was married at 22 and I know how hard it is. Ill tell you that it is amazing when you do get married though and in my case to another virgin, theres less judging up to you other partners, of course unless you did other things fooling around and inappropriate content. Dont let yourself be beat up by all of this. You need to be strong, confident, and go out and get you a wife. I personally learned from experience that I was only going to marry a virgin, but the choice is ultimately yours. Only settle for the best. You ever need to talk bro PM me.

 

[jenniferkat]

Nothing to be jealous about sinful experiences other people had!

First get out of the inappropriate content which is polluting your mind, spirit man and leading you to the road of destruction. You must cut it off..the inappropriate content! The demonic beings are the ones moving into your flesh to bring ruins to your future in Christ Jesus. SO CUT IT OFF!

Before you can be with anybody you need deliverance from God. I would never be with someone who has a inappropriate content problem. There are reasons I say this. You can't walk with God in the Holy Spirit manifesting God's Kingdom in this world when you are submitting to Satan's kingdom of darkness. It's either one or the other dear sir. You can not have two masters or sitting on the fence. The church better wake up to the Lord's righteousness! Repent and reject this tool of the enemy that Satan is using against you and your life. When you feel like going back to inappropriate content get on your knees in prayer and fight against it! God will help you. Stay away from it!!! Give it no place in your house or you have already opened a door for the powers of darkness to take a hold of you whenever! Reading God's Word which will bring cleansing to your soul and spirit. Speak to your pastor and see if the church as any kind of group counseling where you can reach out in prayer together. There is more strength in group Holy Ghost prayer. Ask God to remove this evil from you but to do this you have to really mean it. Then the hand of God is on it's way to bring you new life in Him. I pray God delivers you soon.

 

[heron]

You are wondering why it bothers you, but I don't think God wonders. He knows the harm people do to each other and themselves. One of the reasons that people wait, is to respect the people who they finally end up with.

There should also be an uneasiness about health issues, because so many gnarly things can be spread from partner to partner. You might not be thinking this, but maybe the uneasiness is God reminding you of potential risks.

The Laws of Moses protected people from so many of these emotions and dangers. They were extremely strict, but recognized that people really do get hurt.

That's not reason enough to hold it against her, because as you say, she might have been a victim in some of these circumstances. God offers us fresh starts. Find some ways to put this into action in your mind.

 

[BigNorsk]

It's quite a problem. One of the reasons why we should all wait until marriage. It's very natural to wonder about those guys and to feel jealous towards them that they knew her in a way you haven't.

But realize that one's past is the past. It cannot be changed. We see that all of us sin, and indeed we are forgiven those sins. One of the great mistakes in a Christian's life is to be controlled by past sins, whether specifically ours, or someone elses.

Often the thing to focus on for a bit is yourself. Your sinfulness, your need of forgiveness, your need of a Savior. And when you can see your own unworthiness and how you repeatedly sin, well it puts some perspective on the sin of others, and makes it easier to let the past be the past.

I would also suggest reading of Rahab the harlot. There she was, a prostitute, yet what happened? Well, a man stepped up and married her. Wow, what a guy.

We read about Rahab another place. We read about her in the geneology of Jesus. Things would have certainly changed if that guy had said well you were a prostitute, I'm certainly not going to be able to get over that or forgive that.

It is important, whether or not you stay with this girl to work through this. Because if you do get married, a marriage without forgiveness is doomed. If your sins accumulate eventually the weight is too much and it breaks. If you cannot let the past be the past, you really are not suitable as a husband.

Marv

 

[nhisname]

The only advice that I know to give is to go to the Lord and lay all your grief and burdens at his feet, leave them and don't take them back. Ask God for protection over your thoughts because satan is a deceiver and he will keep bringing it back to you. Stay strong in the Lord. God Bless Beef!