A Good Golf Joke

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

So 3 guys are out golfing. The first, Moses, tees up, hits the ball, and it goes into the water hazard. He stands at the edge of the water, holds up his driver, parting his hands, and the water hazard splits. He walks down there, and chips the ball onto the fairway.
The second guy, Jesus, tees up, hits the ball, and it goes into the same water hazard. He walks out across it, holds out his hand, the ball rises to the surface, and He chips it onto the green.
The third guy tees up, hits the ball, and it almost goes into the water, when a fish jumps out & grabs it in its mouth. Before it can go back into the water, a hawk comes down, grabs the fish, and starts carrying it away. While it's flying, a freak bolt of lightning strikes the fish, and the ball pops out of its mouth, and falls down, right into the hole.
Upon seeing this, Moses looks at Jesus and says, "Next time we go golfing, let's leave your dad behind."

 

[Par5]

Three old-timers who were lifelong friends had played a round of golf every Thursday at the same course without fail for the past fifty years.
On their latest outing, they were all on the first green and old George was about to putt when he noticed a funeral cortege making its way along the road just outside the perimeter fence of the golf course. Old George then stepped back from his putt, removed his cap and bowed his head. When the cortege had passed he replaced his cap and finished off his putt. This was not lost on his two playing companions and they both remarked how respectful he had been.
Ah well, said old George, it was the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 45 years!

 

[prodromos]

Bud has a "nosebleed seat" at the final game in the Stanley Cup series. He notices an empty seat in the front row. After the first period, he makes his way down to the empty seat and asks the guy in the next seat if anyone's sitting there. The guy says, "No, you can sit there."

As they're watching the game, Bud asks the guy whether he knows who owned the ticket for the empty seat. The man says, "Yes, it was my wife's seat. We've been coming to Redwings games together for years. But she passed away."

Bud says, "I'm sorry about that, but couldn't you find a friend or relative to take the ticket? I mean, this is the FINAL game for the Stanley Cup!"

The guy says, "No, they're all at the funeral."