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A Girl's Love Is All I Need, and I Never Get It...

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by humblechristian08, Feb 2, 2013.

  1. humblechristian08

    humblechristian08 Newbie

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    First I am not crying and whining here bc i am not getting my way, I am crying out to God. So dont make it seem like Im acting like a child.
    I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me.
    Psalm 57:2

    With regards to the drinking thing, answer me this then, do you drink? Im sure I know your answer. The only reason you brought up the verse with regards to drinking was not about judgement, but to justify your own actions. Im not saying that is wrong, but dont point the finger at something else as your reasoning.

    With regards to pride, we all have pride, but I dont believe that I am letting pride run my life, God also wants us to have SELF WORTH in the accomplishments we acheive, I see me being able to overcome certain temptations with Gods strength as defining my self worth not necessarily pride.

    But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. Gal 6:4

    My pride is that life is unfair and we cant see everything that happens in other peoples lives, thus why i dont see anyone as better than anyone else. But I know what i am worth myself in Gods eyes, and i strive to serve him and no one else.

    And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men
    Col 3:23
     
  2. Spunkn

    Spunkn Newbie

    +286
    Christian
    Single
    Actually no, I do not drink. I've tasted champagne once or twice. But that's basically it. Unless you want to count beer cheese soup. I'm pretty sure that doesn't qualify as drinking though nor do I ever think you could actually get drunk off of it. It has very little alcohol in it.

    Be careful with assumptions :p
     
  3. quitespirit

    quitespirit Trusting & amp; amp; amp;

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    With regards to the drinking thing, answer me this then, do you drink? Im sure I know your answer. The only reason you brought up the verse with regards to drinking was not about judgement, but to justify your own actions. Im not saying that is wrong, but dont point the finger at something else as your reasoning.

    This here is unacceptable and ungodly. I am done, please do not direct further conversation toward me. I have offered prayer to God on your behalf. I pray He gives you all the clarity and tools you need for whatever He may ask of you. With that, I have nothing further to say.
     
  4. humblechristian08

    humblechristian08 Newbie

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    I didnt direct that at you :p haha
     
  5. DandyDandelion

    DandyDandelion Newbie

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    US-Constitution
    I can understand where you're coming from and why you are distressed so. However, sometimes we need to take a look in our own hearts. I think it's great that you haven't made the typical mistakes that a lot of people have made, and that you have had the strength to abstain from the things that posed themselves as spiritually dangerous to you. But coming from someone who has not made all of the best decisions when she should have, and someone who has made her fair share of mistakes and always will, a lot of those missteps were what brought me closer to God in the first place--I knew I wasn't/am not strong enough without Him and could never get by in this life if I didn't have His salvation and forgiveness. Sometimes, those mistakes are the ones that humble you. I'm not saying to go out and make those mistakes--I wish I had half the strength you do--but don't compare what others do to what you do/don't do.
    It seems to me as though you may be judgmental towards others (I'm not trying to sound mean; we're all judgmental to some degree) and that you set yourself above others. In some ways, you may have unrealistic expectations. I think you're aiming for a perfection that just isn't there. Everyone has their flaws and you have to be open-minded. When we're so closed-minded and write people off because they fall short of what we want by just a little thing, we miss out on A LOT. Maybe you haven't had a relationship because gals are intimidated by a kind of need for perfection you come across as having. If gals feel as though they can't quite measure up, and if they feel as though they're going to be judged by you all the time, they're not going to want to endure that. It's okay to accept people's faults and it's okay to have an open mind. That isn't settling for less than what you think you deserve and what you think God has planned for you. God doesn't see it as settling when He forgives us of our sins, or loves each one of us despite any wrong paths we may have ventured down.
    The way I see it, I try to be as accepting and understanding as possible because God affords me that same courtesy. Without that courtesy, without that unconditional love He has for me, I'd be nothing in this life. What you should remember is that love can come from anywhere. Oftentimes, we have this wild notion of how we think things are going to happen and how they should happen, but they don't always work out that way. Sometimes, God works things in your life in a different way and it's for the best.

    Again, I admire your strength and I pray you find the happiness you seek in someone with whom you are compatible. But don't be so quick to judge, don't be so quick to measure yourself against others, and don't be so quick to write people off as unworthy of you. By living close-minded, you will miss out on so much. Life isn't about things making sense and being perfect. You will find your special someone, but I think you have some growing and some living to do first. You're still so young--the clock isn't ticking for you. I have felt a lot of the same ways you have before so I do see where you're coming from. But just remember that, though your friends seem to have it easy, that's not the case. I've been on both sides of the fence and the grass isn't always greener. Everyone has their own struggles and just because they don't abstain from that which you choose to abstain, doesn't mean they sleep easier because of it. You never know if those are the things that haunt them. Enjoy YOUR life. You have a lot to give and you will make someone happy someday.
     
  6. chaoticfirefly

    chaoticfirefly reform jew

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    US-Democrat
    I found your problem.

    Sorry to butt into the conversation.
     
  7. humblechristian08

    humblechristian08 Newbie

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    I said "prideful in ways" are you saying you arent prideful, I like how the majority of everyone is attacking me and trying to persuade me into believing that drinking is right, instead of offering helpful advice or encouragement or respecting my beliefs on drinking, way to not be a good example to the world.
     
  8. seeingeyes

    seeingeyes Newbie

    +613
    Christian
    Married
    Maybe we just aren't as good as the Lord made you. You'll have to make allowances.
     
  9. humblechristian08

    humblechristian08 Newbie

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    I'll be sure to pray for all of you christians that choose to bully instead of encourage. And I hold onto Gods word.



    Romans 12:19-20

    Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
    Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
     
  10. seeingeyes

    seeingeyes Newbie

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    Christian
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    I would encourage you to do as you just said.

    You have nothing but contempt for others who are not as 'good' as you, those 'normal' people that you avoid for the sake of your own holiness.

    You trumpet your own 'goodness' while repeating "humble heart, humble heart, humble heart" as though humility were a function of clicking your ruby slippers together.

    I, too, was raised with every blessing, and I, too, thought that every blessing was simply what I deserved because I was walking straight.

    But then God, in His grace, knocked me the hell off my pedestal.

    And at the bottom I was born.

    Grace and peace to you, and may the Lord give you whatever you ask.
     
  11. chaoticfirefly

    chaoticfirefly reform jew

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    Pride is still pride. And I'm not persuading you to drink. Nobody is. If you don't drink, you don't drink. Nobody really...cares. It doesn't make you better than anybody else. Just like the other things you've listed about yourself. You are no better than anyone else. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but it's a fact of life.

    The way you spoke in your original post, you sound arrogant. You sound full of yourself. THAT is off putting. Your choice of words make you sound like you're very prideful about everything. Look, "normal" is a subjective thing. There is no definitive answer. So, even though you think all "normal" Christians are out partying and having sex and whatever else, you're very wrong. Not everybody does that.

    You need to work on YOU. Work on your pride. What if you get a girlfriend who drinks (in moderation, it's always key)? It won't destroy your relationship (again, if it's only in moderation and not to get drunk and be wild with it) or kill you. You get angry because people pointed out a comment you made about drinking. Is it only your opinion that matters? Will you dump someone just because they had a few sips of alcohol? My best friend, he doesn't drink, but his girlfriend does. Yeah, it bothers him but he looks past it because he loves her.

    Pride isn't wrong, per se, but it can be (Proverbs 8:13). Right now, you're letting it blind you. And that is the reason why you cannot get a girlfriend. You're so caught up in yourself, and all the things "you haven't done wrong" and that "you're athletic, you don't drink you don't smoke, you're still a virgin", as if that makes you better than anyone else. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it only becomes a problem when you look down on someone for it.

    Making mistakes is all part of relationships. I'm not saying go have sex and do whatever, don't do that. Just let yourself get into a relationship with some girl, even if you don't think it will work out.

    "I just want a girl as good as me"

    Elaborate. Otherwise, you sound incredibly prideful.

    Also, re-reading your OP, I can see why it never works out. Can you tell me anything about those girls? What are some of their hobbies? What was their eye color? Are they in school? Are they in any sports? What is their favorite movie or genre of music? Tell me anything about them. Their personality.

    Did you pay attention to them? Or was it always about yourself and what you wanted? Did the girl drink? Oh no. Was she just not "good enough for you"? See, God has someone planned for you but I don't think he will allow it until you work on your pride.
     
  12. BFine

    BFine Seed Planter

    +619
    Calvary Chapel
    Married
     
  13. humblechristian08

    humblechristian08 Newbie

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    I know that I am not better than anyone else! Ive said that idk how many times already so it wouldnt hurt me gee.

    And maybe I didnt make it clear, I may SOUND arrogant but i am no such thing in person. In my original post i said that i am tired of always holding in how i feel, i never ever tell or act prideful, but i felt the need to vent about it on here to get some advice about it. What i get instead is people telling me how awful and high and mighty i act when you dont even know me.

    I will refuse to date a girl that gets drunk, cusses, smokes, does drugs, or isnt a virgin. That is basically my view on what girls i will date, that is what i meant when i said "as good as me" i should have said that is the same as me, i didnt mean to sound better, i was just typing quickly to get me initial thoughts out.

    And i remember things about all the girls ive attempted to go on a date with, their eyes, their hair, especially their smile, the places we could have gone or hobbies we could have the fun together. I am selective and i actually care about a girls personality. I only wanted to make them happier with me in their life, it wasnt about me, it was just knowing that I was worth something to a girl.

    I never feel im good enough is the truth. I feel worthless bc Ive never been on a date.
     
  14. seeingeyes

    seeingeyes Newbie

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    And now we've come to the heart of the matter, brother. You believe that you have been loved because you are good, and because of this, you cannot understand why you are not being loved by a woman since you are being so good.

    But this is the wrong way around. You have been good because you have been loved.

    You have said that God may have made you this way for a reason, and you are right. He has been showering you with unearned blessings from the day you were born, and He expects you to do the same for others so that they, too, may have the chance to be good.

    Your value is not in what you have never had, nor is it in what you have never done, it is what you have freely received and what you have freely given.

    Perhaps your 'receiver' is clogged because your 'giver' is plugged up. Not even God can fill a pot that is already full. But pour out the grace you have been given on the poor slobs around you, and the Lord will surely never let you run dry.

    Then when you are tested, as Job was, you will find that your love for the Lord far exceeds any particular blessings that you have been given. Then your joy will be complete.

    May the Spirit keep you on the Way, brother. :)
     
  15. AnInnocentBystander

    AnInnocentBystander Opinionated belligerent

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    Reading your responses throughout this thread have given me a little insight into you.

    You come across as obscenely prideful, and before you shout that you never said let me remind you that is irrelevant, if that's what you come across to some strangers on the internet then there's a good chance that's how others perceive you. Furthermore how you go through your laundry list of accomplishments to establish your purity, and constantly refer to yourself as humble -forgetting that true humility is perceived by others and not assigned to ourselves- only reinforces this analysis.

    I understand where you're coming from though; you feel cheated somehow. You've spent you're who life playing by the rules yet it's not gotten you the results you desire, it's a common frustration that many people go through. Your main problem though is that your standards are far to high, you forget that there must be a degree of compromise and acceptance when it comes to people. Without that then I'm afraid you're not going to get very far with anyone, no matter how many drinks or drugs you turn down.

    Also before you refute every single one of my points with cherry-picked bible quotes in order to pardon your behavior and paint me as the evil villain of corruption in your head, allow me to give you a little piece of advice to remember when you're laying in bed at night languishing in despair of not procuring your pure virgin wife.

    You can either have excuses or you can have results. Pick one.
     
  16. Strider1002

    Strider1002 For when I am weak, then I am strong.

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    I could talk at length, and maybe I will, but first I want to know, OP, what do you stand for? What is your purpose on earth? What unique talents and gifts do you bring to the body of Christ?

    You were not put here expressly for the purpose of marrying a woman.
     
  17. CounselorForChrist

    CounselorForChrist Senior Veteran

    +203
    Christian
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    Your 23 and haven't married? That is indeed terrible! Only 65 years left to do so!! :p

    Seriously though most people think they need to be married by 18. I know its how I thought. I am 31 currently and getting married in a month. If anything its probably good someone doesn't come into our lives to marry until at last 25. Anytime before that can be dangerous since we don't truly know what we want in life.

    I didn't have my first date really until I was 27. Due to many reasons like being shy, disabled...etc Looking back I am glad GOd had me wait. It was worth it since I still needed to mature as a christian (even though at the time I though I knew everything).
     
  18. humblechristian08

    humblechristian08 Newbie

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    I stand for the Bible and the will of God.

    My purpose is to be a vessel that God shines His light through to bring others to God.

    I can't speak in front of people due to being shy, but what I am blessed with is faithfulness and maturity. I will always put God first, and I will always attend church (even 3+ times a week to some who see 1 as being enough), I will always pray daily for those around me and for those I haven't met yet and for those who persecute me, I pray to God as though He is there next to me and He is within my heart. I am faithful, that is my gift. I choose to live differently, I go to a college where essentially few are Christians, and those who are cant be seen because they choose to fit in with non believers. Everyone that knows me knows that I dont drink or cuss or smoke or etc... Its not that I come right out with it, but whenever they ask me to do those things, I refuse and I say I dont do it. I dont act better than them, but when they ask why. That is where I say that I am a Christian and believe differently. They dont hate me for it, they respect it. Sure i get made fun of every now and then, but I wont let it get me down. Because deep down I made an impression of them that God allowed. I was a seed for God in there lives. That is another gift, being a good example to people that choose to look. Of course I make mistakes, but for some things of the world, I am able to be a good example in some ways.
     
  19. Strider1002

    Strider1002 For when I am weak, then I am strong.

    +1,841
    Non-Denom
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    What are you going to do with your time on this earth? How will you "earn a living," as they say?

    I know you have more talents than just your super awesome boyfriend powers.
     
  20. TheyCallMeDave

    TheyCallMeDave At your service....

    +145
    Protestant
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    I truly sense desperation when i read this OP . 23 years old doesnt mean youre getting close to being elderly ! In fact, its very wise to wait on marriage till youre at least 30 . Lastly, if you are going to be desperate to get married, you will most likely hurry and end up with a poor marriage Partner in the end,so, completely turn it over to God and be happy with when he deems your fit for the very very difficult life of marriage thats filled with extreme challenges and many agonizing times ahead...even for above average marriages. Read books on how to think objectively when choosing a marriage mate and dont follow Hollywoods ideology.
     
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