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A Few Things

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Lee Fey

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Well, I'm eighteen. I'm a guy. This almost automatically means I'll struggle with sexuality. I love God, and I know that lust is wrong. But I've secretly disabled my parents' porn blocking software. Although I haven't abused that in a while, the temptation is still there. I've masturbated since I was twelve, and since I've longed to be free of the shackles.

Also, I've had homosexual tendancies. Sometimes I imagine what kind of person I'd be without God, and I'm afraid of the answer. I'd most likely be bisexual, and probably very active. Such things scare me, and I wonder what kind of wisdom is to be had about either of these issues.
 

LynneClomina

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hi curtis! :hug:

you're not alone. and it's not just a guy thing, either!! plenty of girls with similar struggles.

the software? enable it. and if you can get back into it, put in a bunch of random letters w/o looking at the keys, for a password, so you won't know it, and DON"T try to hack it. (a suggestion, anhoo, but consider it, k?)

it's very possible to be free of the shackles. with Christ all things are possible. ALL things.

i wonder who i'd be today if i never came to know Christ, and it is very scary. i would probably be homosexually active, prolly in the same abusive relationship i was in for almost 10 years (from the time i was 13), and who knows what else?

accountablility is a fantastic thing. there is a program at settingcaptivesfree.com called door of hope (for homosexuality) and pure freedom (for sexual impurity such as masturbation and pornography). i've done a bit of another program of theirs (Lord's table) and can say that the overall program is awesome, and brings accountability and a closeness to God that is pivotal to walking in His strength, not our own. http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/?PHPSESSID=81e7caa722ccb8fadf2973e19c41dc97

another interesting site has an inventive program: http://www.xxxchurch.com/patrol/kittens.asp
it's not for the faint of heart, though!

i'm really glad you're posting here, curtis. :hug:
hope to talk to you soon!

Lynne
 
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fool4jesus

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i engaged in petting with another guy and I feel terrible about it. ~ i am afraid God will not forgive me as this is not the first time. I ended things with the guy but I still dun feel the peace in God. have I lost God?

i m a youth-leader in training and I felt disgraced.. not worthy to do serve God. Wonder if anyone has similar experience and can share to me?
 
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LynneClomina

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fool4jesus said:
i engaged in petting with another guy and I feel terrible about it. ~ i am afraid God will not forgive me as this is not the first time. I ended things with the guy but I still dun feel the peace in God. have I lost God?

i m a youth-leader in training and I felt disgraced.. not worthy to do serve God. Wonder if anyone has similar experience and can share to me?
how many times do some ppl sin, and yet still find forgiveness and the peace of God in their hearts? you have not lost God if you still want Him, and you havent deliberately walked away from Him, saying "I dont need You, God". if you have repented, that is the end of it - you are fresh as a morning daisy.

ps. 103
11 For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
... the east and the west NEVER meet. they are removed forever.

micah 7
18 Who is a God like You, Pardoning iniquity And passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in mercy.
19 He will again have compassion on us, And will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins Into the depths of the sea.
He pardons the iniquities of those who call on His name and are repentant; that is why He died for us, so that He can pardon us when we least deserve it.

hebrews 8
10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 11 None of them shall teach his neighbor, and none his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' for all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them. 12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.
NO MORE.

He looks upon His repentant and sorrowful child, who comes to Him and says, "Oh, God, i am beyond hope, because i have sinned by (insert sin here) yet again!!!", He looks upon them and says, "what (insert sin here)? I remember no such thing!..."

that's the Word of God, trust it. He is not a man that He should lie, right?

read the entire story of David and Bathsheba, starting in 2 Samuel 11. He committed adultery, murder, lied, etc. but becuase of his repentant spirit, he is forever known as "a man after God's own heart".

condemnation is, point blank, of the devil. rebuke it, refuse it, reject it, however you want to call it.

Romans 8:1-9
1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,* who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
and you DO, see vs. 9

2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
the penalty has been paid.

3 For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.
do you want the things of God? and not the things of the flesh? then you are in the Spirit.

6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
theres an old song that goes something like:

turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
and the things of the world will grow strangely dim
in the light of His Glory and Grace.

and it's VERY TRUE. the worries and cares and desires of this world fade more and more as you fix your eyes on Jesus more and more.

7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you.

are you a born again child of God? then fear not, He will forgive you as many times as you need. (of course that is if one is truly repentant, one who says "oh i can sin all i want and be forgiven, yippee" isnt even likely a christian.)

take hold of these truths and hang onto them with your life. if is for FREEDOM that He has set us free, not to be buried under guilt and condemnation. repent (turn 180 degrees) recieve the forgiveness that is yours, and purpose to walk in the ways of Christ, and REFUSE guilt. He died to set us free from the yoke of sin and death.

:hug:
 
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Mebby01

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l know what your feeling boy most girls touch when they are horny its a normal thing to do. Its against christiany but God still loves you no matter what and being bi sexual is against his rules too but yet God will still your one of God childen he has a plan for each and ever one of us God will still upset you are but just ask him forgiveness and mean it God still loves you no matter what you have done he loves his children
 
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I'ddie4him

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Mebby01 said:
l know what your feeling boy most girls touch when they are horny its a normal thing to do. Its against christiany but God still loves you no matter what and being bi sexual is against his rules too but yet God will still your one of God childen he has a plan for each and ever one of us God will still upset you are but just ask him forgiveness and mean it God still loves you no matter what you have done he loves his children
Quite honestly, I think I could have picked a different way to say this, But, The main I idea would have been the same. I understand what you are going thru, Any healthy, red blooded male is going to have a problem with this, And from what Mebby says, Girls do this too. This doesn't surprise me, But, I have never heard any girl admit to it before. ;)
Don't be to hard on yourself if you continue to have urges to touch. It is a completely normal thing to do this at some point during puberty and maybe even beyond. This can be a very delicate matter to discuss, But, That is why we have this forum in which to do so and not be ridiculed. I hope that you will enable the porn blocking software on the computer and have you parents choose a random password so you can't disable it again.
 
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Anti-Fear

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Man, I can somewhat relate to you. You must stop looking at that stuff. Just understand that you have the willpower and determination and that unless you stop you will screw your life up.

Too much self-pleasuring is unhealthy. Looking at pornograhy is unhealhty because it will condition you to think of women in sexual way only.
Your "homosexual tendencies" as you call them probably also come from looking at too much pornography because you always see men in there, would be my guess.

Stop doing those things, just stop.
 
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Polycarp1

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I find it wonderfully encouraging that the gist of the messages from Lynne, Mebby, and Iddie and what I would have said is pretty much the same, and very much on target with relation to accepting God's mercy, accepting yourself as a sexual person, and then dealing with temptation forthrightly and trusting in God's strength and lovingkindness to help you along.

There are points on which I'd differ with elements of Lynne's post -- and those are not appropriate in a support thread. I think the key point is that, whatever you may be feeling, you need to remember that God loves you, His strength is there for you, other Christians have been dealing with much the same problems in the past and understand how you feel, and you're not alone, nor unredeemably evil, for having such desires.
 
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