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A few Moral stories from the Bible

Discussion in 'Christianity and World Religion' started by benmaarof, Oct 1, 2010.

  1. benmaarof

    benmaarof Senior Member

    Story 1
    4 Kings 2:
    [23] And he (Elijah) went up from thence to Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, little boys came out of the city and mocked him, saying: Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
    [24] And looking back, he saw them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord: and there came forth two bears out of the forest, and tore of them two and forty boys.

    Moral of the story:
    Don't make fun of bald people.

    Story 2
    Mark 11:
    [12] And the next day when they came out from Bethania, he was hungry. [13] And when he had seen afar off a fig tree having leaves, he came if perhaps he might find any thing on it. And when he was come to it, he found nothing but leaves. For it was not the time for figs.
    [14] And answering he said to it: May no man hereafter eat fruit of thee any more for ever. And his disciples heard it.

    Matthew 21
    [18] And in the morning, returning into the city, he (Jesus) was hungry.
    [19] And seeing a certain fig tree by the way side, he came to it, and found nothing on it but leaves only, and he saith to it: May no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And immediately the fig tree withered away.]

    Moral of the story
    Even an inanimate plant can't escape the curses and wrath of the Son of God

    Story 3
    Genesis 38
    [8] Juda, therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother's wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother.
    [9] He knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother's wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother's name.
    [10] And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing

    Moral of the Story
    In the words of Monty Python, “Every sperm is sacred…”

    Story 4
    Numbers 22
    [28] And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said: What have I done to thee? Why strikest thou me, lo, now this third time?
    [29] Balaam answered: Because thou hast deserved it, and hast served me ill: I would I had a sword that I might kill thee.
    [30] The ass said: Am not I thy beast, on which thou hast been always accustomed to ride until this present day? tell me if I ever did the like thing to thee. But he said: Never.
    [28] "Opened the mouth"... The angel moved the tongue of the ass, to utter these speeches, to rebuke, by the mouth of a brute beast, the brutal fury and folly of Balaam.

    Moral of the story
    Read the Bible to get inspiration for creating funny 3D animated movie characters (i.e. the talking Donkey from Shrek)
  2. Masihi

    Masihi love based faith is truer than fear based faith

    I find most of your moral conclusions not only false but disturbingly contrived from a negative mindset.

    Elijah is not G*d but had the power of miracles in his arsenal to either bless or curse. This is more than I can say about muhammad who possessed no power of such (not counting human strength). Jesus, as G*d in the flesh, blessed people (as opposed to cursing) by healing and curing the blind.

    I remember reading that hell is the destination for every muslim who dishonors islam's messiah. In the example cited, I see Jesus using a fruitless tree (as opposed to a human) to set an example for what happens to people who are fruitless (spiritual sense).

    I am not into movies and do not rely on movies as a fountain of validity but consider all of them fictional. Aside from this, the point was that Onan disobeyed the law which stipulated the need to continue the line of a deceased brother. That way, ALL of israel's descendents are assured land as their inheritence.

    Again, I do not rely on fictional hollywood characters for obtaining any valid information. I think muhammad misunderstood donkeys with respect to this donkey because it spoke....
    Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "When you hear the crowing of cocks, ask for Allah's Blessings for (their crowing indicates that) they have seen an angel. And when you hear the braying of donkeys, seek refuge with Allah from Satan for (their braying indicates) that they have seen a Satan." Bukhari, Book 54, Hadith 522

    Narrated 'Aisha: The things which annul the prayers were mentioned before me. They said, "Prayer is annulled by a dog, a donkey and a woman (if they pass in front of the praying people)." I said, "You have made us (i.e. women) dogs. I saw the Prophet praying while I used to lie in my bed between him and the Qibla. Whenever I was in need of something, I would slip away. for I disliked to face him." Bukhari, Book 9, Hadith 490

    So according to this, irrefutably, should you ever hear a dog bark while praying, your prayers were annuled. If a woman ever passes in front of you (even outside the mosque) while you are praying, your prayers were annulled. Irrefutable; must repeat prayers starting with ablution. I expect you concur and will follow.
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2010
  3. Booko

    Booko Poultry in Motion

    Other Religion
    And yet, in Jewish circles there's plenty of opinion that Onan was killed not for sperm-wasting, but because of disobedience. God ordered Onan to give Tamar a child, but instead Onan performed a bit of coitus interruptus.
  4. A_maize

    A_maize Newbie

    In Relationship
    EDIT:Ah never mind, I guess mudslinging is common on both sides, including the outsider(other religion or Atheist or other) riding down on a high horse saying we're all messed up and delusional.
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2010
  5. Harry3142

    Harry3142 Regular Member


    You forgot a quote: Harsh times make for harsh decisions.
  6. Delphiki

    Delphiki Well-Known Member

    In Relationship
    I saw Ricky Gervais' comedy special lsst night on HBO. He did a bit on moral stories, which were pretty funny and had some truth to them.

    For example, the story of the Boy Who Cried wolf. He briefly goes over the story. Boy is in the field with the sheep, cries wolf twice when there is no wolf. Then the day there is a wolf, he cries out and no one comes to save him. He says the moral is supposed to be "lying is bad", except the real moral is "don't tell the same lie twice"
  7. salida

    salida Veteran

    Is this suppose to be funny?
    Ga 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
  8. Booko

    Booko Poultry in Motion

    Other Religion
    LOL I have...I married into a Catholic family.

    There's also some difference of opinion on why Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed. Well, that happens when reading texts outside a cultural context, I guess.
  9. Booko

    Booko Poultry in Motion

    Other Religion
    :( I wasn't thinking y'all were delusional. Or messed up.

    There are "just war" theories in both religions, based on their texts, and I don't have a problem with that.
  10. AlexBP

    AlexBP Newbie

    I often wondered whether the real message Jesus was trying to deliver there is that if you can't hold it in anymore, you should take out your frustrations on an inanimate obect. For the other stories, the moral seems to be that we should be glad that Jesus came, otherwise the world would still function much as it did in Old Testament times.
  11. A_maize

    A_maize Newbie

    In Relationship
    <staff edit>

    Well, there's previous posts to look at in other threads. Debate is fine, but you want to at least maintain some level of respect at each other, and the Bible, Koran, or whatever. Perhaps I spoke to soon, and hope I am wrong.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 3, 2010
  12. Booko

    Booko Poultry in Motion

    Other Religion
    I thought he was a bit new. It's not uncommon for an atheist to have such a strong views, and yeah it takes time and patience, but really I've found very few that can't be reasoned with.

    Maybe it helps I was an atheist myself though. It's helpful to know what sorts of topics are going to be pointless from their pov.
  13. razeontherock

    razeontherock Well-Known Member

    :doh: WRONG :doh:

    Elisha was the new kid on the block, and everybody knew Elijah had been a great man of G-d and just taken up to heaven in a flaming chariot. Nobody was about to respect Elisha! Moral of the story:

    "Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm." (Ps 105:15, 1 Chron 16:22)

    Wow, such impressive genius. Moral of the story: when He comes looking for fruit, don't disappoint Him!

    You're really content to just wing this, w/o any understanding at all?!? This was in a time period when the "in thing to do" was make a special concoction so your beautiful wife didn't conceive, and therefore stayed attractive longer. Plus lots of Israelites were dying, and they needed more.

    Even though Onan was married, it amounted to the sin of fornication and the Lord made sure everybody knew all about this issue!

    (I'll cut you slack on not understanding the point re: Balaam)
  14. MariaRegina

    MariaRegina Well-Known Member

    Eastern Orthodox
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  15. Arthra

    Arthra Baha'i

    Other Religion
    Ben wrote above:

    Read the Bible to get inspiration for creating funny 3D animated movie characters (i.e. the talking Donkey from Shrek

    Ya know Ben I think I've seen Shrek a few times and you may have just opened my eyes a little to that talking donkey!:thumbsup:
  16. Booko

    Booko Poultry in Motion

    Other Religion
    I always preferred 1 Kings 5, where the moral of the story is "don't touch the Ark of the Covenant or you'll be smitten with hemmorhoids. :p