A Deeper Walk or Judgmental?

[BuckeyeBaby]

My biggest quandary is this: How does one read the word, learn the word and see clearly the instructions and desires of the Lord for our life and then actively pursue the continual growth in "getting there" while still being surrounded by others who are either not making any progress, not desiring any progression, not bearing any fruit and/or simply do not believe in their "inner circle" of friends? How does one continue to grow in their faith while everyone else around them seems to stay the same? It seems we have "nothing" to talk about because they don't want to grow- or they don't "get" what I am saying as I share revelation's I may have received that day from reading or otherwise- and it leaves me feeling "empty" as if there is no one to talk too and subsequently I have become very "isolated" which as mentioned is very difficult for someone who is so outgoing such as myself.

I am in no way saying I am any better than anyone ( please don't misunderstand) but, I am struggling as this group of friends I have had for years continues to dwindle- and in earnest my only desire is for "more" -- I want more of God, a deeper walk, a more serious walk and one that includes other's who "get that"?

But, my friends say I just need to "love them" the way they are- I need to not be so judgemental, I need to accept it if they drink, party, curse, sleep with people, live with people without being married ( while Christians ) because they say they are learning just like everyone else- but, those patterns never really change so are they really learning? Even my more devout Christian friends are saying I need to just "accept" others more and stop being judgemental, they quote scriptures about Jesus befriending tax collectors, prostitutes and the like as a means to get me to see that I need to just "accept" everything and not let it affect me. And then there are those of course who don't believe in God at all.

They say these things to me ( above ) all the while telling me I am the "only" person in their life that is that "God" person for them-- they love that I listen to them, ( but, they don't want to listen to me) they love that I inspire them, edifying them etc. and that's wonderful that I can help them-I am grateful and maybe I am "missing it" isn't that the point after all- to help others? But, still, I struggle.

I find myself thinking and feeling that I want to be around people who are striving towards "the mark" in their life as I am- those that actually want to grow in their relationship with the Lord that don't want to stay complacent and "lukewarm" if you will - and finally I find myself wondering why that desire within me is so wrong and more importantly why I have to "lose everyone" in order to achieve it?

Okay that's a whole lot of "questioning" I do realize- but, has anyone experienced this? It saddens my heart as I feel like everything that I have known is being stripped away and while there is a deep desire for me to keep going and keep moving forward trusting God - because we have come so far- I do find myself stepping back from time to time trying to "accept" or "force" myself to become complacent with what everyone is "asking" me to do while attempting to live out my own life but, I always feel like there is "more" for me and if I keep in this same holding pattern I won't ever find out what it is?

Thanks for listening new friends and any wise words of experience in this area would be appreciated- thanks!

EDIT: This was cross posted ( accidentally ) in testimonies forum. Was re-posted in Christian Advice- sorry - I"m new and don't see a way to "delete" it. THANKS!

 

[Spirit of Pentecost]

There is a difference between a Christian being judgmental and having a deeper walk with Jesus. Being a part of the Pentecostal church, and there (often) being a great emphasis placed on one's outward appearance of holiness, others seem to label us as holier than thous, judgmental, and legalists.

We're none of the above, however. Coming out as separate from this world is certainly commanded by Jesus in the Word, and part of how we do that is dressing differently than the world does. Scriptures certainly back theologies on the outward attire of a Christian, although many Christians explain any standard on attire as legalism or old-fashioned, and therefore no longer a necessity.

If it worked for our grandparents, church founders, and elders, then it will certainly do for us. Why aren't we having the services they had sixty years ago? Because we aren't living the way they did. We don't want that holy, set-aside lifestyle. We want the power, in most cases anyway, but no conviction. And when there's no conviction, then there's no separation. People have lost the desire to change from their sinful pasts.

Of course, holiness isn't defined solely by one's outward appearance, but it's certainly a part of it. Holiness starts inwardly, and whatever is contained in one's heart will most definitely show up in that person's appearance, attitude, speech, and actions. It's all connected.

It's kind of hard to claim an inner holiness thing when you're dressing like the world, and one cannot tell any difference in you and the sinner you're standing beside in Walmart.

I may have gotten off topic a little bit, but there's a great variance in a Christian having a judgmental spirit than one wanting a deeper relationship with their Lord and Savior.

 

[BuckeyeBaby]

There is a difference between a Christian being judgmental and having a deeper walk with Jesus. Being a part of the Pentecostal church, and there (often) being a great emphasis placed on one's outward appearance of holiness, others seem to label us as holier than thous, judgmental, and legalists.

We're none of the above, however. Coming out as separate from this world is certainly commanded by Jesus in the Word, and part of how we do that is dressing differently than the world does. Scriptures certainly back theologies on the outward attire of a Christian, although many Christians explain any standard on attire as legalism or old-fashioned, and therefore no longer a necessity.

If it worked for our grandparents, church founders, and elders, then it will certainly do for us. Why aren't we having the services they had sixty years ago? Because we aren't living the way they did. We don't want that holy, set-aside lifestyle. We want the power, in most cases anyway, but no conviction. And when there's no conviction, then there's no separation. People have lost the desire to change from their sinful pasts.

Of course, holiness isn't defined solely by one's outward appearance, but it's certainly a part of it. Holiness starts inwardly, and whatever is contained in one's heart will most definitely show up in that person's appearance, attitude, speech, and actions. It's all connected.

It's kind of hard to claim an inner holiness thing when you're dressing like the world, and one cannot tell any difference in you and the sinner you're standing beside in Walmart.

I may have gotten off topic a little bit, but there's a great variance in a Christian having a judgmental spirit than one wanting a deeper relationship with their Lord and Savior.

Thank you so much for your advice. I actually posted this accidentally in "testimonies" was meant for the "Christian Advice" forum where I have received so many wonderful words of wisdom from others. I thank you for taking the time to respond here as well and appreciate your advice! Stay blessed!

 

[Spirit of Pentecost]

Thank you so much for your advice. I actually posted this accidentally in "testimonies" was meant for the "Christian Advice" forum where I have received so many wonderful words of wisdom from others. I thank you for taking the time to respond here as well and appreciate your advice! Stay blessed!

You're welcome. I try to drop some tidbits where I remember.

 

[Gottservant]

I don't know if this will help you in the sense you think, but I have been in a situation for a number of years now, where I have been on medication.

"Medication? Ok," you might say, the thing is that principly I have not been able to maintain friendships because of this medication.

"Are you angry about that?" you might ask, actually the answer is 'no' - I had a friend I must have said "I'll call you back" like two or three dozen times and he was always just good about it: that helped me a lot.

The point I am trying to make is that there are probably people in your life that you are just "there for", people in hospitals, people on the street, people who are downtrodden - those people need you to be more than a "friend", they need you to be "a leader": maybe if you promote yourself in the Holy Spirit, you will get the satisfaction you were looking for?

I feel for you, I want to know that you hear from the Lord, but in reality I've just got to admit: I am probably not the best example of a friend, my current situation just does not allow me to be.

 

[1watchman]

My biggest quandary is this: How does one read the word, learn the word and see clearly the instructions and desires of the Lord for our life and then actively pursue the continual growth in "getting there" while still being surrounded by others who are either not making any progress, not desiring any progression, not bearing any fruit and/or simply do not believe in their "inner circle" of friends? How does one continue to grow in their faith while everyone else around them seems to stay the same? It seems we have "nothing" to talk about because they don't want to grow- or they don't "get" what I am saying as I share revelation's I may have received that day from reading or otherwise- and it leaves me feeling "empty" as if there is no one to talk too and subsequently I have become very "isolated" which as mentioned is very difficult for someone who is so outgoing such as myself.
[It may be that the "circle of friends" you have had in the past is not the same in their value of God and His Word, and in a walk with Him through this world. You may have outgrown them in a spiritual way. You need not turn from them, but be who you are, and also spend more time with those of like mind, while continuing to exam self as to your thoughts toward all you meet. If others reject you that is there choice, but continue to show grace and the love of God to all souls. You can find sound saints of God in Godly scriptural fellowship assemblies. I suggest you inquire at the site: Biblecounsel.net on the Internet as to a fellowship with those who value Bible-only and expressing the "one body of Christ" worldwide. There are such gatherings in the world ---maybe near to you. We must not quarrel with others, but also not spend time with those who see God differently ---or not at all.]

I am in no way saying I am any better than anyone ( please don't misunderstand) but, I am struggling as this group of friends I have had for years continues to dwindle- and in earnest my only desire is for "more" -- I want more of God, a deeper walk, a more serious walk and one that includes other's who "get that"? [Yes, friends may dwindle, but show grace to them and stay close to God through a daily walk with the Lord Jesus as your best Friend.]

But, my friends say I just need to "love them" the way they are- I need to not be so judgemental, I need to accept it if they drink, party, curse, sleep with people, live with people without being married ( while Christians ) because they say they are learning just like everyone else- but, those patterns never really change so are they really learning? Even my more devout Christian friends are saying I need to just "accept" others more and stop being judgemental, they quote scriptures about Jesus befriending tax collectors, prostitutes and the like as a means to get me to see that I need to just "accept" everything and not let it affect me. And then there are those of course who don't believe in God at all. [Well, we should not be judgmental openly unless asked, but surely a faithful saint needs to associate with those of like mind, and quietly avoid those who do not value God and His immutable Word.]

They say these things to me ( above ) all the while telling me I am the "only" person in their life that is that "God" person for them-- they love that I listen to them, ( but, they don't want to listen to me) they love that I inspire them, edifying them etc. and that's wonderful that I can help them-I am grateful and maybe I am "missing it" isn't that the point after all- to help others? But, still, I struggle. [Listening to one does not mean one needs to spend a lot of time with one who is not gracious and responsive to you.]

I find myself thinking and feeling that I want to be around people who are striving towards "the mark" in their life as I am- those that actually want to grow in their relationship with the Lord that don't want to stay complacent and "lukewarm" if you will - and finally I find myself wondering why that desire within me is so wrong and more importantly why I have to "lose everyone" in order to achieve it? [ Don't let Satan stumble you, and cause you to think wrong thoughts or speak when you should be listening. It seems you need to be with more Godly saints in fellowship and worship, as I suggested.]

Okay that's a whole lot of "questioning" I do realize- but, has anyone experienced this? It saddens my heart as I feel like everything that I have known is being stripped away and while there is a deep desire for me to keep going and keep moving forward trusting God - because we have come so far- I do find myself stepping back from time to time trying to "accept" or "force" myself to become complacent with what everyone is "asking" me to do while attempting to live out my own life but, I always feel like there is "more" for me and if I keep in this same holding pattern I won't ever find out what it is? [It is not likely "everyone is asking you to do..." what they do. Just re-evaluate your relationships and walk with God ---even if that means along a different path than former friends choose. Look up always for God cares always! -1watchman]

Thanks for listening new friends and any wise words of experience in this area would be appreciated- thanks!

EDIT: This was cross posted ( accidentally ) in testimonies forum. Was re-posted in Christian Advice- sorry - I"m new and don't see a way to "delete" it. THANKS!

 

[BuckeyeBaby]

Thank you, friend, for your wise words of advice. I agree on so many counts- again, thank you!