Dear brethren in Christ,
I really need all your encouragement in this, because I am all alone and don’t know what to do. In 2009, I committed a grave offense of lying by falsifying my CCA records in high school and didn’t think it was a very serious offence at that time. I then graduated with a satisfactory A level results and used my CCA records to apply for University admissions. At first, I thought I would get in just with my A level results, but shockingly, I was admitted through Discretionary Admissions which relied on my falsified CCA records. Though I didn’t feel that good, I didn’t care much about it and hid this sin I had done.
But since the time I graduated from high school, I had to fulfill a vow I made to God to follow Him because He indeed blessed me with good A level results. After half a year of University studies, God put into my heart to leave the University and so I did temporarily (this year January), after facing much persecution from my parents because they think I’ve gone mad wanting to forsake my studies for God. Through half a year of being away from University, God has shown me through articles from others that hiding such a sin is not acceptable and I should confess it. So, I decided in my heart to confess it and I did when I came back by writing letters to my high school and university admitting my dishonesty.
Just yesterday, I had a talk with my high school principal and teacher and they took back my falsified CCA records as I’ve promised them not to use them again. I also discussed it with my parents, and almost got into a fierce quarrel because of my confessions. My parents think that what I have done is not that serious and I shouldn’t have confessed it to the University. My mother even reprimanded me and reasoned with me that I was being selfish by trying to make myself clean but exposing my high school to shame because they too were responsible for my dishonesty. I also believed in my mother’s word and felt really condemned, but I know that I should confess my faults and take on the consequences on my shoulders. I felt so guilty that my conduct has caused harm to others that I pronounced myself cursed many times amidst tears yesterday. Satan was destroying my soul because of the guilt I felt, but thanks be to God, He restored me. I don’t know, but I felt that my mother’s words were actually satan’s condemnation trying to make me feel guilty and wrong for taking the courage to confess my faults. Am I being selfish by confessing my faults? I really don’t know.
But what is serious to me, is that my parents actually don’t even think that what I have done is serious enough to render such confession on my part. But I know I should, because true repentance means making restitution and truly not letting people have a false impression of you. Because if I hide my faults so that my reputation will not be tarnished or that I won’t have to bear the consequences, then I would be grieving the Lord even more because I value my reputation and my status more than the Lord’s commands. This I don’t want to do and I am all willing to face the consequences of my crime. But on the other hand, I indeed would be causing harm to my high school by my confession because they are also partly responsible for such an issue by failing to check properly before giving approval. I prayed to God yesterday that all the punishments would fall on me alone, but it is no doubt that by making such a confession, I have also destroyed the reputation of my high school. In this, my mother is right that I have done a foolish thing because I didn’t think of this other consequence of my confession.
My parents’ indifference to the severity of this crime I’ve done only shows that they have not truly repented and believed in Jesus Christ (My whole family are atheists but I got converted in 2004 Dec). They no longer oppose my belief, but they think that the extent I am going is too extreme, and I know because of this indifference in them there would only be more potential conflicts between I and them.
Even when they knew that I wrote to my University, they thought that my crime was too trivial to render any punishment upon me, but they don’t know that I have already received a letter from the University’s Board of Discipline that will render me liable for disciplinary actions. I haven’t told them about this, because I don’t know how they will react. The way they reacted just yesterday when I told them was already dreadful enough, so I don’t want to cause another upheaval and give satan a chance to use my parents against me like he did in the past. But no doubt that I will finally have to face it, and maybe my parents will hate and disown me if I’m expelled from University. I dread all this persecution I have been facing from them for years, but I dread even more the fact that my parents have not yielded themselves to God and continue to allow satan to use them as tools to destroy my soul. If they truly have opened their hearts to God, they should be happy for me and thank God that I have taken the step to confess my faults shouldn’t they? Or at least reprimand me for making such a grave mistake and sinning against God like this, right? But no, they are angry that I have made confession and they trivialize the matter (just like how they trivialize their own faults at falsifying my birthdate and causing harm to a whole group of people who would have to bear the responsibilities of their irresponsibility) as though what I have done is of no consequences but yet they condemn me and say that I am being selfish by trying to clear myself from my guilt and causing harm to others. They contradict themselves in this, they are angry for all the wrong reasons, and they don’t see honesty as much of an issue to be upheld. This is the state of their heart, so how can they be saved?
Every time I think of a potential persecution from them, I cannot help thinking about the dream that I had about my parents, how they would be left behind and not be able to rise and meet the Lord in the air as said in the Scriptures. I just cannot help thinking that the Lord has shown me their destruction because they ultimately never opened their hearts and accepted Jesus until it was too late. I really don’t know their end, but so far, from their reactions, I know their hearts are not converted. What should I do brothers and sisters? Some of you already know the issues I face in my family (http://www.christianforums.com/t7548642/), and I know I might just face another dreadful event in my family yet again. Perhaps my original thoughts have been right, that I should leave my parents and respond to the calling of God. Perhaps just like how Jesus knew and foretold the ultimate doom of Judas, God has shown me the ultimate doom of my own parents because God knows if they will finally be saved while I don’t. I am just sick of facing the same persecution that torments me again and again and causes me to sin only more and more when I want with all my heart to stop sinning and live a life pleasing to the God who delivered my soul from hatred and darkness. What should I do?
I really need all your encouragement in this, because I am all alone and don’t know what to do. In 2009, I committed a grave offense of lying by falsifying my CCA records in high school and didn’t think it was a very serious offence at that time. I then graduated with a satisfactory A level results and used my CCA records to apply for University admissions. At first, I thought I would get in just with my A level results, but shockingly, I was admitted through Discretionary Admissions which relied on my falsified CCA records. Though I didn’t feel that good, I didn’t care much about it and hid this sin I had done.
But since the time I graduated from high school, I had to fulfill a vow I made to God to follow Him because He indeed blessed me with good A level results. After half a year of University studies, God put into my heart to leave the University and so I did temporarily (this year January), after facing much persecution from my parents because they think I’ve gone mad wanting to forsake my studies for God. Through half a year of being away from University, God has shown me through articles from others that hiding such a sin is not acceptable and I should confess it. So, I decided in my heart to confess it and I did when I came back by writing letters to my high school and university admitting my dishonesty.
Just yesterday, I had a talk with my high school principal and teacher and they took back my falsified CCA records as I’ve promised them not to use them again. I also discussed it with my parents, and almost got into a fierce quarrel because of my confessions. My parents think that what I have done is not that serious and I shouldn’t have confessed it to the University. My mother even reprimanded me and reasoned with me that I was being selfish by trying to make myself clean but exposing my high school to shame because they too were responsible for my dishonesty. I also believed in my mother’s word and felt really condemned, but I know that I should confess my faults and take on the consequences on my shoulders. I felt so guilty that my conduct has caused harm to others that I pronounced myself cursed many times amidst tears yesterday. Satan was destroying my soul because of the guilt I felt, but thanks be to God, He restored me. I don’t know, but I felt that my mother’s words were actually satan’s condemnation trying to make me feel guilty and wrong for taking the courage to confess my faults. Am I being selfish by confessing my faults? I really don’t know.
But what is serious to me, is that my parents actually don’t even think that what I have done is serious enough to render such confession on my part. But I know I should, because true repentance means making restitution and truly not letting people have a false impression of you. Because if I hide my faults so that my reputation will not be tarnished or that I won’t have to bear the consequences, then I would be grieving the Lord even more because I value my reputation and my status more than the Lord’s commands. This I don’t want to do and I am all willing to face the consequences of my crime. But on the other hand, I indeed would be causing harm to my high school by my confession because they are also partly responsible for such an issue by failing to check properly before giving approval. I prayed to God yesterday that all the punishments would fall on me alone, but it is no doubt that by making such a confession, I have also destroyed the reputation of my high school. In this, my mother is right that I have done a foolish thing because I didn’t think of this other consequence of my confession.
My parents’ indifference to the severity of this crime I’ve done only shows that they have not truly repented and believed in Jesus Christ (My whole family are atheists but I got converted in 2004 Dec). They no longer oppose my belief, but they think that the extent I am going is too extreme, and I know because of this indifference in them there would only be more potential conflicts between I and them.
Even when they knew that I wrote to my University, they thought that my crime was too trivial to render any punishment upon me, but they don’t know that I have already received a letter from the University’s Board of Discipline that will render me liable for disciplinary actions. I haven’t told them about this, because I don’t know how they will react. The way they reacted just yesterday when I told them was already dreadful enough, so I don’t want to cause another upheaval and give satan a chance to use my parents against me like he did in the past. But no doubt that I will finally have to face it, and maybe my parents will hate and disown me if I’m expelled from University. I dread all this persecution I have been facing from them for years, but I dread even more the fact that my parents have not yielded themselves to God and continue to allow satan to use them as tools to destroy my soul. If they truly have opened their hearts to God, they should be happy for me and thank God that I have taken the step to confess my faults shouldn’t they? Or at least reprimand me for making such a grave mistake and sinning against God like this, right? But no, they are angry that I have made confession and they trivialize the matter (just like how they trivialize their own faults at falsifying my birthdate and causing harm to a whole group of people who would have to bear the responsibilities of their irresponsibility) as though what I have done is of no consequences but yet they condemn me and say that I am being selfish by trying to clear myself from my guilt and causing harm to others. They contradict themselves in this, they are angry for all the wrong reasons, and they don’t see honesty as much of an issue to be upheld. This is the state of their heart, so how can they be saved?
Every time I think of a potential persecution from them, I cannot help thinking about the dream that I had about my parents, how they would be left behind and not be able to rise and meet the Lord in the air as said in the Scriptures. I just cannot help thinking that the Lord has shown me their destruction because they ultimately never opened their hearts and accepted Jesus until it was too late. I really don’t know their end, but so far, from their reactions, I know their hearts are not converted. What should I do brothers and sisters? Some of you already know the issues I face in my family (http://www.christianforums.com/t7548642/), and I know I might just face another dreadful event in my family yet again. Perhaps my original thoughts have been right, that I should leave my parents and respond to the calling of God. Perhaps just like how Jesus knew and foretold the ultimate doom of Judas, God has shown me the ultimate doom of my own parents because God knows if they will finally be saved while I don’t. I am just sick of facing the same persecution that torments me again and again and causes me to sin only more and more when I want with all my heart to stop sinning and live a life pleasing to the God who delivered my soul from hatred and darkness. What should I do?
Last edited:
